Pond Life… Moi?
Having just read another article referring to the Blogger ‘Plankton’ and how she finds herself middle-aged, single and apparently at the bottom of sexual food chain, I am again amused and bemused by how she is finding it “out there”. It sounds sad, lonely and bloody awful – and I have to say the complete opposite of how it has been for me.
Of course, there are times when I miss having a special man in tow and as I said in my previous blog, live in men are useful for some things, but I have found despite my shortcomings… rather long in the tooth and wobbly in the middle I have attracted a whole host of attention and usually from much younger men. I don’t know if ‘Plankton’ has considered this as an option but I would recommend she does.
The younger man can bring a much-needed boost to the ego and give you your confidence back (presuming that like me you lost it along with your husband.) Unfaithful husbands can do a damn good job of making you feel like “Pondlife”, blaming you for everything and highlighting every shortcoming you possess in order to justify their behaviour. You come out from the wrangles of separation or divorce looking and feeling like shredded paper and thinking at the time that there is not a pot of glue big enough to ever put you back together again.
But with grit and “I’m not letting that bastard have the last word” type determination you begin to gradually smooth out the edges. Girlfriends become your saviours in all sorts of ways… proffering all the usual “you’re better off without him”, “you were always too good for him” platitudes, all washed down with a large glass of wine!!!
They also are great at offering advice on what to wear and all the latest beauty trends. I was fortunate enough to have a good friend in the beauty business and a few visits to her salon soon had me feeling like a million dollars (well at least a fifty pound note). So once the dust had settled (all of a week after my husband’s departure, ha!) off out I went to see what the universe had to offer and to my surprise my first offering was tall, blonde, gorgeous and in his early twenties.
So surprised was I by his attention that at first I thought he was working for “Help the Aged” but his dogged persistence eventually wore me down and one summer’s night full of ridiculous nerves (mainly to do with how I looked), I surrendered gracefully into his arms. It was the turning point for me and made me realise that age was no barrier to these encounters and if anything it added to the joy.
We had a brief but tantalising affair, and after deciding that younger was the way to go, I signed up to a website that catered for just such encounters and Toyboywarehouse.com became my new best friend. I have met some amazing guys over the last three years and enjoyed short and long-term relationships. Some I met locally, some from Toyboy Warehouse and other websites, but it has been exhilarating and given me back my mojo!
The chances are that having regained my sense of joy in the world and my confidence, I am more likely to look and feel happy and this in turn makes you more attractive to the opposite sex whatever their age!!!. It’s all a question of attitude..!
On an ugly day (and we all have those whether we are 20 or 50 ) I’m likely to keep a low profile and slouch about in my jim jams eating ice-cream and watching re-runs of ”Sherlock” or “Sex in the City”. But it’s only occasionally and then I pick myself up, get down the gym, buy a new lipstick and book some Botox!!
With my confidence back in place I get out the laptop and start talking to people. I can’t tell you the amount of times when I’ve been feeling low and my phone has been so silent that I’ve convinced myself that it must be broken. I spend ages fiddling with it, switching in on and off, only to receive a lovely text from one of my “boys” telling me all about my good points and sending my spirits soaring to the heavens.
So I may be swimming against the tide where my age is concerned but getting gobbled up by big fish I ain’t! Ponds are often stagnant and still just like people who don’t know which way to turn. You need to jump in; it’s all about creating waves and riding the crest of them.
Written by gbird.
You can follow her blog here