What you should do on a first date (but don’t because you’re a nerd)
There are around five hundred blogs and articles about what you shouldn’t say or do on the first date and they’re all well and good but more or less infinite in the possibilities they suggest. You shouldn’t, for instance, threaten to kill their loved ones, stamp on a treasured family cat or tell them they are a fat disgusting slug who deserves to crawl across a well-salted lawn. This blog is about what you should start doing, so pay heed!
Be nice, but not too nice – This one’s a bit tricky to handle but if done right it’s the sure fire way to get a second date (providing you’re not the human embodiment of a troll doll with a plastic personality to match) You should be polite to your date, say thank you for things, hold doors open, don’t talk over them and offer to pay for yourself regardless of who organised the date. I’m not stingy or tight with money when I’m out with a girl but if she sits there all night and doesn’t even offer to pay for one drink I’ll probably avoid her like the plague.
Always dress up (at least a bit) – Make a bit of effort you bloody scruff! This one is for men and women. If you’re a woman – wear a dress. I don’t care if you do prefer trousers, it shows you’re trying to make a bit of an effort to look nice, and it’s very much appreciated. Men – buy a shirt, no one wants to see your ‘Cramps’ t-shirt on the first date, as much as you may love them (even if ‘I was a teenage werewolf’ is quite a psychobilly delight!) T-shirts belong strictly on a fourth or fifth date, along with your comfy jeans and trainers.
Be direct – If you’re the one organising the date, do just that. Organise it! Someone who’s flaky or cares too much about what his or her date wants comes across as if they don’t know how to make a decision, and that’s not a very attractive quality. My most successful dates have been where I tell someone where we’ll be going, at least for the start of the evening and you lead it from there. If you spend too much time fretting they’ll assume you do that in all aspects of your life. No one wants someone who takes them home and stands at the foot of the bed worrying about whether their partner is happy with the lighting.
Know when to kiss someone – This one’s not actually that tricky but it gets asked about a lot. It’s nearly always towards the end of a first date and it’s very simple to notice. If someone’s hanging on your every word and leans in close when you speak to them, wait till there’s a gap in your conversation and if they’re smiling and still leant in close to you – just go for it! Don’t ask permission because it’s universally creepy if you say: ‘Can I kiss your lips please young lady?’ It also sound like you’re a bit desperate. Let your attitude show that they should feel just as lucky to be kissing you, because they are.
This is just a brief overview, all of these points deserve their own post, but for now give this a try and see if you don’t stop getting pepper sprayed when you ask for a second date…