Morality, Hope and Happiness: My Reasons for Dating Younger Men
I’m someone who doesn’t exclusively date younger men. I don’t dislike older men and I would happily enter a relationship with an available man of any age provided the chemistry was right. It’s just that I seem to have a genuine affinity with men in their late twenties upwards and I love their passion- the enthusiasm for life, fun and new ideas. Yes, there is the added bonus that many are physically gorgeous, but these are the men with whom I tend to find some mutual connection. Sadly most of the few available men my age or older that I meet nowadays have lost that zest and are a bit stuck in a rut or are only interested in much younger women than me.
And at this point, I emphasise the word available. I first moved down the dating age scale at 36, for precisely two reasons. Firstly, in my late twenties to thirties, I seemed to constantly be meeting compatible younger men and turning them down, purely because of the age gap. Secondly, the only men I met my age or older where there was some connection, were already in long-term relationships. Many insinuated I might be delighted to move into the role of their ‘other woman’. Obviously, over 30 and still being single, I had to be desperate and any old set-up would do. I declined those propositions because they clashed so strongly with my ethical values and my hopes. It was incredibly depressing to realise just how many ‘settled’ men were looking outside their relationship for ‘extras’.
As I grew older, the pool of available men my age kept shrinking, (although sadly, the offers of affairs continued) and available younger men persisted in chatted me up and befriending me. The whole situation was making me terribly distressed and lonely. The alternatives seemed to be life-long celibacy or mistress-hood, neither of which were for me. I decided to keep my personal morals intact. Instead, I discarded my ideas about suitable ages for relationships and began dating younger men.
Did I worry? Yes, I did sincerely worry about getting involved with someone many years younger. I engaged in a lot of anxious soul-searching for which there was no need in retrospect. The first time I moved into this kind of relationship, there was a 15 year age gap, he was 21 and I was 36. We really got on really well and although it didn’t last, it was a really good experience. I only wish I had taken this route earlier as it would have spared me much heartache at the time.
Being available to younger men has widened my dating options, allowed me to keep my ethical values, made my life far richer, far happier and taught me a great deal. The chemistry with the opposite sex remains the most important thing, whatever the difference in age. As other bloggers have said, it ispossible to get on with someone so well that the age gap becomes irrelevant!
There are some lovely men on this niche dating site and it has been an absolute pleasure to meet them. They are not here under duress; they genuinely like and appreciate the appeal of ladies older than they are. I would advise any female waverers that are faced with a similar dilemma to the one I had to do the following. Go on, trash the checklist, take the plunge and treat yourself, with a clear conscience!
Written by Trust the years and published as part of our 30 Blogs in 30 Days campaign.