Get the latest from the blog:

Different Not Desperate

Spring is springing, the birds are um…..nesting……and a new crop of Toy boys has miraculously sprouted on TBW. Lovely likely lads with a penchant for putting their big feet right in the wrong place as far as I can see. Which brings me to the title above: like most of the women on TBW.

—I am different, but not desperate, —

Nor a rare species of courtesan to be wound up to a sexual frenzy on a Saturday morning when you boys haven’t got anything better to do. I’m not aware that TBW is an escort site of either gender!

I’m different because I have a wealth of life experience, I have probably forgotten more than you have lived, I have travelled, been married, buried loved ones, climbed mountains both real and metaphorical, and I have been passionately in love and loved more than once. I look fine, but telling me that I “look good for my age” is like telling someone that they for example “look good for a short person”. In my books it is an insult and definitely not PC. It’s an odd backhanded qualified compliment that quite frankly I could do without.  I look good and so do the other women on the site –

As women.—-

I am not interested in desperately chasing after my youth. I looked good when I was thirty, but different good. If you want to compare us to the air brushed plastic versions of femininity in the pages of popular magazines we will probably fail the test, but actually we are not that bothered about it because life is too short to obsess constantly about body image and most of us have got better things to do.

Surely the whole point of the website is that it is about people of different sexes being able to communicate and meet up without the stigma of age. Or maybe I am wrong? Some people on the site are looking for flirty fun, casual hook ups etc. But if you send me a text at 9am inviting me to get in the shower with you before we have had a date, expect to be swiftly deleted.

Which brings me to, I’m not desperate. If I just want sex I can go and sit in the pub on Saturday night, go out clubbing with my 35 year old friends, or just ring the plumber, roofer, ex-boyfriend …all of whom would be happy and eager to oblige. I have stalkers on FB, stalkers on Twitter, men asking me out constantly. I have stopped looking for anything I can classify, in the vague hope that I will come across a cultured, interesting, attractive person to spend some quality time with.

Clever is good, the guy who sent me a message saying that I remind him of a female version of Indiana Jones will get a date, despite the added sentence about whether or not I might have Indiana’s whip!

So please all you fluffy springing boys with spring urges, be brave, be clever, be respectful of the fact that most of you are going into unknown territory and a set of pecs on an oiled body with a bulging pair of boxers might not get you as far as you think. As I said to a recent over enthusiastic chappy…

I like to know the person before I know the body.

Which brings me to my next blog for TBW which will be on erotic fiction, and how to write it successfully. Take a dip in my latest novel The Red Dragon Bed to find out.

Happy Easter bunny hunting 

This blog was written by TBW member Victoria and published as part of our 30 Blogs in 30 Days campaign.

Get the latest from the blog: