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Ask Tanya | The Age Old Question


I have to say I’ve often been asked this question and it’s always a hard one to answer because in reality it all comes down to the maturity of the two people involved and how they feel about it.

I’ve met very mature guys in their 20’s and very immature guys in their 30’s and 40’s so I think it’s hard to specify an actual age gap that can be applied to any decade. At the end of the day love knows no barrier and what suits one won’t necessarily suit another and if I start saying there are limits I’m probably going to get a barrage of complaints from those that found love outside those boundaries

Personally I always used to say that if a guy was younger than my oldest nephew that was going too far. That is until the day came when I got chatting to someone who interested me from the word go with his intelligence, his humour and opinion on various worldly issues that by the time I got to the point of wondering how old he was it didn’t really seem to matter anymore.

Truth was we’d clicked so well together it never came up in conversation until a few dates down the line we happened to be discussing our likes in music which of course varied in terms of what we grew up with which led to the age question. Turned out he was in fact younger than the limit I’d set myself so my own rules had been broken and it seriously didn’t matter. In fact he told me he was concerned I might find him too young and he kept hoping I wouldn’t ask that particular question!

Celebrities of course don’t have that as being in the spotlight means their ages are already known so it never arises.

I also believe there is a time when regardless of age we all tend to level out and generally I find that point is usually around the age of 35-40 years when we’ve generally gained and experienced a few setbacks in life to be able to view things in a more open way. Time is a great leveler for many things and this is no exception

I seriously think generally the fear of dating a guy very much young is not so much the age difference but how others will react. In all walks of life we would all like to be liked for who we are and judged on what we do ( within reason) but there will always be that slight apprehension and the fear that at some point you’ll be faced with the proverbial assumption that he’s in fact your son and not your partner/lover/boyfriend. Unfortunately the likelihood that will happen is high but something you can deal with.

Having been in that situation you can either feel totally mortified and leave the premises as quickly as possible or you can face it head on and politely inform them that he is the man you share your bed with (as I did) and watch the sheer embarrassment on their faces as they find an excuse to move away as quickly as possible. However I accept not everyone is like me but generally leaning over to give your partner a peck on the cheek as only a partner can is usually enough to dispel any assumptions.

Other fears abound if you have children as it has been known for the guy to in fact be younger than her own children which can work either way. They’ll either see him as an equal in terms of their wavelength or they’ll see him as a threat but one good thing about having a partner within their age group is they are usually on the same wavelength on many other levels so could really help to bridge that gap when required

Whatever the age difference, if you are both perfectly comfortable with each others company then the years don’t matter. Life is short enough and include many barriers so the best thing to do is not put up your own and enjoy it!

Tanya x

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    I am a ready no problem to the age gap is a heart the truth