Hello Boys and Girls!

I’m giving this writing lark a go, hopefully it will allow me to express my views, thoughts and disperse the mist that is clogging this site and my mind.

It appears many have become disenchanted with the whole TBW Lifestyle.  I for one am not.  I still embrace it for it’s positive aspects, laugh-a-minute forums and the diversity of its members.  When I stumbled up this site many months ago.  I thought I had landed in Heaven… *sighs*.  A dating site dedicated to the dynamics of a relationship I like.  A place where I would find like minded people to broaden social horizons or find that perfect match. Six months on, I have built new friendships & gained a few more.  So, in my eyes it’s been a success and for me it’s only the beginning…

In essence, my post is mainly in response to a piece Wendy Salisbury, aka Poshbird wrote a few weeks ago. Titled: Hallo Boys – Are you ready for your chemistry lesson!
Firstly, I think its sad to hear some of us guys have been arriving on a date (to class) with only one thing in mind – tut tut tut.  Many complaints have been made in the forums and fingers have been pointed and sadly, it’s affecting the rest of us “The good guys”.  It is so easy to generalise but ultimately it’s not fair.  What about the guys that are not getting asked to attend class, who’s to say they would turn up with the same attitude or lack of chemistry skills.  What happens to them when they sit the exam with little or no experience?  From what I can make out, it appears you ladies ordered the latest pair of Jimmy Choos but all you got delivered were a pair of Espadrilles. 😉

I totally agree, that in order for any form of relationship to occur there must be chemistry.  What you have to ask is why are so many getting it wrong?  

Is it fair to say, we are all guilty of having an ideal that we’re not prepared to steer far from?  Which is clearly resulting in a distinct difference to what we asked for and what we get.  Whether your Toy boy should look like Smith from SATC or your Mrs Robinson look like Cherie Lunghi (Google and ADD to favourites – for those boys younger than myself) her name makes my legs turn to jelly! Damn my weakness has been revealed. 

Maybe our objects of desire aren’t all we had hoped for.  So why do we blame the other person for this? Surely you should put it down to a bad judge of character?

I feel we could all benefit from casting our nets a little further, deeper in order to find the right connection.  It’s like digging for precious stones or minerals. You just have to dig a little deeper to find the best!  Some of us need to be given a chance to shine.  Just because the chemistry isn’t on paper or the picture doesn’t meet expectations it doesn’t mean to say the chemistry won’t happen when we are face en face.

Alluding to a comment by Poshbird.  Sam Cooke was a great artist. Beautiful. Charming. Handsome.

Perhaps he didn’t mention ‘Chemistry’ in his song because he knew that is what it took.  Perhaps, in the hope that the listener would ask the question of themselves?  The answer was always in the song. He was trying to make a connection with the lucky lady so that the ‘Chemistry’ would happen…

But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me too
What a Wonderful World it would be

That’s the Chemistry lesson over with!

The reason for me writing this was to express some thoughts, raise a few questions or reflect what we are all seeing.  And boy I have I had some questions…

Is our quest for love and adoration clouding the very judgements we make? Are we placing our attractions on a pedestal?  For some this may appear as a last chance saloon for others it’s a party to be re-lived every night but lets all be conscious of everybody else dreams.  Boys. Pull your finger/head out from where the sun doesn’t shine. It’s not a game. Be honest with yourself and others and if you are fortunate enough to get asked out, the very least you can do is turn up!  Be honest and be true to yourself. It’s a shame some of you out there are ruining the integrity of this site because you are already committed (perhaps mentally) boring, or not who you say you are?? And if you make it to your date, keep your tongue in your mouth until you get home or until she says get it out!

Girls. Well, don’t think you are getting off so lightly.  What can I say. Give us men a chance or give chances to those you normally wouldn’t. Perhaps you have to look at the reasons why you are so often getting let down. Im just wondering, if you lined up all the little players & wee wee boys (S.A term) that have failed you, would you be able to tell one from the other?  Hmmmm…your starter for ten!

As Wendy Salisbury, aka Poshbird, said:

“You never know…  Look at Beauty and the Beast, Quasimodo and Esmeralda, King Kong and Ann Darrow …who’d have thought it, but it worked for them! “

Broaden your horizons, take a plunge and just throw caution to wind, accept a date. It may be the start of an exciting friendship and if you’re lucky, maybe more.  Lets not get too down about our disasters, move on and try again. Its not like it’s costing you a limb every time. Rejection is a hard thing to accept but do it with dignity and pride. Believe you did what was best and put it down to experience.  Lets not air our dirty laundry in public. We’re adults and should start acting like one. Take heed from some wise words by Bastian Dash. He said:

…Plus there’s nothing wrong with saying (and just to yourself only), “Hey it’s their loss” – because you know what, maybe it is too. So poor them – Losers! Giggle.  

Long live TBW and all that sail on her oceans or find solace within her walls.


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