UKs Largest Dating and Relationship Site For Older Women And Younger Man

If you’re looking to jump back into the dating world, why not try one of the most active and vibrant dating platforms? For over a decade, Toyboy Warehouse has been matching handsome younger men with mature women. From love, lust to romance, every dating style is catered for. Why not take a look and see for yourself?

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So let me set the scene for you.

My 20-plus-year marriage had ended, a lonely, passionless and pretty miserable final few years. No intimacy, no sex. I had turned into my great-aunt Maud, a dried-up old prune.

During this time I met a guy while taking a course. He was 10 years younger and charming. What followed was an intoxicating foray into text flirting—leaving me quite giddy with rapidly thawing frigidity and the profound realisation that I’d lived my previous 20 years in a sort of coma. That friendship, however, remained platonic.

The attitude of men my own age saddened me, and I became frustrated by their idea of foreplay (not to mention the postcoital narcolepsy five minutes later. So, I told myself, wasn’t it about time I did a little road testing of some younger models? (Purely in the name of market research, you understand…)

I had begun to realise that I’m a nonconformist—a rule-breaker and risk-taker… and, further, that I’m completely comfortable with my own nonconformity. I was 47, and it was about bloody time I celebrated the Rebel Rebel in me.

Around that time an acquaintance told me about a dating website called Toyboy Warehouse. She added that she couldn’t possibly sign up on that site because of insecurities about being overweight/out of shape/unfit/wrinkly/timid… I’ll bet you can already guess my response…

Where do I sign up?

It’s a curious old thing–the word cougar sounds rather threatening and predatory, don’t you think? Yet “threatening” and “predatory” are absolutely not words I would ever use to describe myself. So I was curious as I registered my details, a short, bio, my height, hair colour, AGE and other details, I signed up and held my breath! What world was I entering?

My girlfriends fell into two camps: those utterly horrified by what I was about to embark upon (secretly jealous I reckoned) and those who cheered me on and wanted all the details (maybe just a bit jealous but also excited about living vicariously through me)!

I joined the site because I like a dare!  I was looking for fun, flirting, sex, and education. What I did not expect was that great friendships would develop, along with a level of intimacy that I’d never before experienced before in my life. And, best of all, more attention, devotion and laughter than during two decades of marriage.

And the sex. Oh, the sex was extraordinary. Selfless and attentive and satisfying. You see, the reality is far from the cultural icon of Mrs. Robinson. In fact, the most likely scenario for a woman with a younger partner is that she has arrived at midlife having had a long long-term relationship, few sexual partners, several children, and a pretty boring sex life.

These young men are thrilled to be able to teach an older woman some new tricks!

Why do younger men date older women?

I was curious, so questioned these beautiful young men on their reasons for hanging out with an older woman. (The men I have met are on average 15 years younger than me)—and their answers were enlightening.

• Intelligent conversation
• Independent—An older woman doesn’t NEED a man to validate her existence
• Sexually more adventurous—and happy to try new things
• Sexy without even knowing it—comfortable in her own skin
• Accepting of her partner.
• All woman – the real deal….generally without silicon and self-obsessed grooming practices.
• Able to teach about relationships in a non-threatening way.

In the beginning I did begin a rendezvous by justifying myself, explaining that my body was not that of a 25-year-old; that I’d carried, given birth to, and nursed my children, blah, blah. And then a finger came up to my lips to silence all my disclaimers.

“Have you any idea how amazing I get to feel because YOU chose me?” was the response I got from one beautiful young man.

“I get to be myself with you,” he added. Good grief, I didn’t see that one coming. We get so caught up in our own insecurities about how we look that we lose sight of what’s really important, about who we are on the inside.  I found that in these nontraditional older-younger relationships, both my partner and I got to be who we really are—masks removed.

Ladies, don’t wait until you’re “perfect” before you get out there dating again. Get out there right away and do some exploring—you might just end up having the time of your life.

Haven’t tried Toyboy Warehouse for yourself? Join the Fun

Read more lessons about midlife in Rebecca’s book Best Knickers Always

The post Why I Choose To Date Younger Men appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Okay, lets be honest here: what’s the first thing that runs through your mind when you meet someone? Is it ‘I wonder if he can cook?’ or ‘I wonder if he likes gardening?’ Of course it bloody well isn’t, everyone of us is guilty of looking at our dates and wondering:

1. What they look like with their clothes off
2. How big he is
3. How big her breasts are (unless they’re already on view of course)
4. How long before we get to bed

We are human, we have natural animal instincts; the man is a predator, the women prey – though that can also be reversed. Either way, our sexual instincts kick in when we see someone we really fancy regardless of whether it’s a quick fling or the start of a long romance. Don’t feel guilty for having those feelings, we all do but how we manage them is what makes the difference

I recently met a young guy; we’d spent a lovely day together and were staying at the same place. Yes, I did think exactly what I’ve just mentioned, but I also hoped that he wouldn’t suddenly pounce on me the minute we got near either his or my room because for me the thoughts are in my head, but in reality I still want to be treated as a lady. I still want to be respected for who I am and not seen merely as a way of filling time and satisfying a quick urge. 

At my age, I feel I have earned the right to be respected and earned the right to decide how, and if, I develop anything further. Had it been 20 years ago maybe my hormones would have reacted in a very different way, but now it isn’t about that, it’s about me, the whole package. That’s not to say I’m a nun, far from it, but for me there is a time and place and a way of getting there. Suffice to say had he pounced, I would have been put off straight away and my early opinions of him as a gentleman would have vanished and been replaced by thoughts of a Neanderthal waste of space! Him not pouncing elevated his status to me and actually made me want to get to know him better. I wanted to know more about how he ticked, I didn’t suddenly think he didn’t fancy me – I knew he did inside, but he thought the same as me, if it had been the other way round and I’d made the move on him, his impression of me would have gone out of the window.

I enjoy sex as much as anyone else does, but being an older woman I have to contend with what nature throws upon me that most men, and certainly the younger ones, have little or no idea about or indeed how to deal with it. Stupid things like menopause, which arrives with very little warning and sets out to attack everything you’ve enjoyed like an amazingly high libido, which was the greatest shock albeit temporary. At one point, I wondered whether I had any hormones left, but actually all that had happened is that they took a short vacation and came back all refreshed and ready for action!

What I did notice as I got older though was how my energy and desire for sex changed and talking to many other women this is not uncommon. We talked previously about the strength of women and their attitudes to sex and demands in the bedroom in terms of control, but its not just about control.

Men and women are more open to things now that 30-years ago would be deemed freaky or just not normal for most people, but due to more and more exposure on the internet we have access to information and graphic pictures to help that curiosity is aroused even more. So when does it become freaky or weird and who determines if it is or not? No one has a right to judge anyone if it’s between consenting adults and I say what’s wrong with a little bondage if you enjoy it, it’s all role play.

Many couples love ‘golden showers’ and while it may not be for everyone, there are others who relish the pressure and the warmth it creates. For women, having it aimed at their clitoris can have a very stimulating effect and for men the sheer idea of a woman standing over them and peeing, taking control is energizing. Admittedly it’s not for everyone, but then we are not all the same and if we were, life would be boring 

Oral too, whilst more common, it is not to everyone’s taste. There are givers and there are receivers, though in my experience women tend to give a lot more than men do – sorry guys, but usually that’s the case, though I do accept there are men who absolutely love giving and won’t stop until she orgasms, to those men I applaud you. What men want most women want too and the more two-way the better the experience.

The key thing here is to enjoy what suits you and your partner and to never stop discovering and finding out. I am happy to go into more detail on anything raised, so do please drop me a line if you’d like me to focus on anything in particular

In the meantime please send me your questions, I’m feeling lonely here!

Enjoy!

Tanya x

The post Ask Tanya | Holy or Horny? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

For years there’s always been debate around the ‘three date rule’, before actually going to bed with someone. But times change, people change and what was then, isn’t necessarily now!

There have always been double standards – if a man goes around sleeping with as many women as he can manage, he’s considered a real stud by his friends; but should a woman participate in the same sexual freedom, she is deemed a slag. So guys, you wonder why many of us keep you on the back burner? Well, generally it’s because you make us!

Times and attitudes have changed, women are more in control of their sexual freedom than any time in the last century. We know what we want, when we want it and how we want it, which I have had men tell me scares the crap out of them!

We are no longer willing to lay back and think of England, we are more likely to make you lay back and take control of the situation. We are liberated women, prepared to make our choices and make them vocal. Admittedly, this doesn’t apply to everyone but predominantly we are stronger and more confident with each passing decade

Like most women of my generation, we lived at home until we went to university or college, we met a man, we dated, we fell in love and we got married. We didn’t live together, it was a common thing to do and I can still hear my parents telling me that couples that did were ‘living in sin’. That’s not to say they were staunch churchgoers, it was just how it was and I followed the norm.

I didn’t date a great deal, though my dating was probably restricted to one ‘serious’ type relationship at 14/15 which lasted 8 months though no sex ever took place in any way whatsoever. I was obviously underage anyway but whilst it entered his mind it certainly didn’t mine! When I married he was only the second man in my life so any physical connection I had was with him. I felt safe and secure and that was important

By the time I divorced, whilst I was no longer naïve about life, I certainly was sexually and it took me a year to even believe I was single and actually date someone. What I realised as time went on was how much I wanted to explore and meeting my next serious relationship, the three date rule never came into play. I knew I wanted him and I knew he wanted me so effectively I decided that, as we’d been communicating for a couple of weeks (I was introduced via a friend), to hell with the rule because I was climbing the walls!

That night I had the most amazing sex ever and fortunately I was lucky that it continued for the 7 years we were together. He opened my eyes, he helped me lose inhibitions and he allowed me to explore my ‘side’, but he was also fortunate to have met me when my self-confidence was growing.

Finding me took years, where today young women are finding themselves much earlier. Though my concern is that too much is considered the norm these days and pressure is put upon women, who are not strong enough to say no.

More mature women on the other hand ARE strong enough to control situations, to let it run at their pace, to do what they want to rather than feel they have to. As a consequence, I find many younger men love the control and dominance of an older woman, which by all accounts suits me perfectly haha!

The level of dominance, of course, depends on the people involved but of the men I’ve discussed this with it seems with younger girls they find it very easy to be the dominant one, but with older women they are drawn in by the confidence and strength, and will quite happily follow their lead.

Dominance can vary from a little control with just directive orders, to full-blown sub/dom clothing, shackles, masks etc. Some people would think this a little freaky, but in all fairness who are we to judge what suits? Just because its not something we would venture into, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong.

With sexual freedom brings the right to be experimental, whatever that encompasses, and as long as it doesn’t over step boundaries of legality, what does it matter? Sex between two consenting adults is what freedom is all about. It’s about making that connection, although I wouldn’t raise the subject on your first date, it might be a little intimidating until you’re sure of what your potential partner is into.

This goes back to one of my earlier comments about watching, listening and talking because by doing this you get to know your partner well, which will give you an indication as to how far things can go. Communication is always key whatever you want to do but always remember everyone has a right to say NO.

Domination can be fun but also hugely satisfying for both parties. For the dominant one, the idea of controlling someone’s actions and allowing their own gratification as ordered is a huge turn on and for the submissive, being ordered and controlled and even held back can heighten sexual tension and add to any eventual orgasm which may be forthcoming.

For many men the sheer desire to please is overwhelming as this goes against the grain, where men have generally held the upper hand. Women in turn are enjoying the more dominant role and some believe they are getting back what they truly deserve.

Domination for women can also help overcome any inhibitions when it comes to telling a partner how they want to be kissed, licked etc., as whilst they may find it intimidating, looking into the eye of their partner, telling a submissive is totally different and covers up any fears. Telling a submissive what and how you want them to do something means you finally get the pleasure in the way you’ve been wanting for ages, but daren’t say and many submissive are more than happy to please you!

Role play can be very pleasurable for many who indulge and I’m very much of the ‘don’t knock it until you’ve tried it’ tribe, as you never know what it can enhance and bring out for your own enjoyment as well as your partner. Don’t be shy to experiment but take it slowly, that way you get to feel the true pleasure of what you do, rather than anything rushed

I am only giving you an insight, but happy to discuss in greater detail if any of you would like to or use me as a soundboard. But in the meantime, remember playtime is me time.

Have fun!!

Tanya x

The post Ask Tanya | Are Women More In Control? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

It’s time to divulge your naughty secrets, c’mon now don’t be shy.

Toyboy Warehouse Secrets 

Toyboy Warehouse Secrets lets you post your dating experiences, sexy stories and relationship nightmares totally anonymously. Did you just have a date from Hell? How about a date to remember? Whether you’ve found love, lust or romance, use Toyboy Warehouse Secrets to share your real thoughts and feelings.

Simply post your dating secrets anonymously to get featured on the official Toyboy Warehouse Secrets Instagram page.

Why not check out the previous confessions? From the sordid to the inspirational, learn the secrets of the gorgeous women and handsome men of Toyboy Warehouse.

How does Toyboy Warehouse Secrets work behind the scenes?

After you send your anonymous post, our moderation team get it ready to go live on the official Toyboy Warehouse Secrets Instagram page for the world to see (it’s a good job it’s anonymous!).

How long till my post goes live?

We aim to get all approved posts out within a few hours, however on rare occasions they can take up to 48 hours. Once approved, the moderation team use a service that can schedule Instagram posts to ensure your anonymous secret goes live. If you sent your anonymous post over 48 hours ago and it’s still not live you can contact us for more information.

Toyboy Warehouse #Secrets – #Dating experiences from cougars and toyboys

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The cheek! Toyboy Warehouse #Secrets – #Dating experiences from cougars and toyboys

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Here’s to the sisters #HellYeah Toyboy Warehouse #Secrets – #Dating experiences from cougars and toyboys

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*Sad face* Toyboy Warehouse #Secrets – #Dating experiences from cougars and toyboys

A photo posted by Toyboy Warehouse Secrets (@toyboywarehousesecrets) on Dec 23, 2016 at 11:03am PST

Toyboy Warehouse #Secrets – #Dating experiences from cougars and toyboys

A photo posted by Toyboy Warehouse Secrets (@toyboywarehousesecrets) on Jan 5, 2017 at 8:54am PST

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Sex toys have always been a fascinating subject. Whether you love them or hate them they are often a topic that gets mixed reactions from both sexes.

They are not a new idea in Victorian times doctors used a crude type of vibrator to relieve woman of what they called their hysteria!  This wonderful instrument was used to bring a woman to a paroxysm an old-fashioned word for the female orgasm!  The Victorian woman was of course not allowed to experience sexual pleasure she was supposed to lay back and think of England in her quest to procreate. 

My how things have changed! Us modern girls are all about sexual satisfaction. These days’ sex is a two-way street and our pleasure is just as important as the guys we play with. From my experience most guys are eager to please in the orgasm department and will spend endless hours in pursuit of our paroxysm!. They take it as proof that they are sexual athletes of the highest order and can get just as frustrated at us when our orgasm does not arrive on cue.

On most occasions a bit of coaxing and licking or a change of position will usually have the desired result. But what if it doesn’t? Enter the sex toy all bright and shiny and reporting for duty. 

There is an array of choices out there and so many to choose from it is quite bewildering.  I visited an Ann Summers shop recently and was overwhelmed with different colours shapes and spin speeds. The staff in AS are very helpful though, and are happy to give you their own personal experiences of using every one of the bright shiny objects that adorn their shelves. Apparently, it’s company policy for the staff to be up to speed on all new products in every way possible. Don’t you just love that? 

Having made three purchases over as many months I found that as usual it’s a case of you get what you pay for. The most recent purchase bought with a birthday gift card (my friends know me so well) is the mother of all machines and was the most expensive. It’s rechargeable and looks nothing like a men’s appendage. It is purely used for helping when that elusive orgasm is ducking and diving and giving you the run around. 

Whether you go solo with it or hand it to your partner to administer, trust me when I say it is the Rolls Royce of vibrators. It all happens so fast, blink and you’ll miss it.

I read an interesting article in the Metro ( Friday October 21st ) this week about a jilted lover who in a fit of jealous rage had stormed into his ex-girlfriend’s apartment and destroyed her vibrator! complaining that she loved it more than him! She actually took him to court and sued him for the cost of a new one! Yes, really. 

Personally, I would choose a hot blooded man over the plug in variety every time but sometimes just sometimes we all need a little help. If you can get the man in your life involved with your toys then there is less chance of the green- eyed monster rearing its ugly head!  We all know how men love their tools! 

That said what we do with our toys in private is strictly our business. Oh dear I think I am having an attack of the vapours. Call the doctor someone I may need to lie down and I won’t be thinking of England ! Now where did I put those Rabbit Ears?

Gaynor Evans – Sexandthesignposts.com
Twitter | Instagram

The post Toy Story appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Not everyone’s right for us. Can you take rejection gracefully?

One of the good things about growing older and feeling more comfortable in one’s own skin is discovering the ability to say no.

Many of us ladies have been taught to be people-pleasers from the year dot; do you want to be loved, little girl? Then you’re going to have to be pretty, be NICE, be quiet and put others FIRST, little lady.

GOD it’s stifling. It’s enough to make you want to fall face-down into some Pinot Grigio and never get back up.

So there’s an incredible freedom in finally tuning into our gut feelings and acting on them once we hit the big 4-0. There’s a level of discernment about what we want, who we want to be and who we want in our lives which we’re finally able to access and act upon.

And yep; sometimes that self-same discernment is going to rule against you.

There’s no way to sugar-coat it; your multiple messages may fall on deaf ears. Your welter of winking will not catch her eye. Your avalanche of cards will fall through her digital letter box resolutely and unequivocally unopened.

It’ll feel damn unfair, I know. Why won’t she reply? Why won’t she just say ‘hi’? What the hell is wrong with her for not even checking out your profile? (Whisper it) what’s wrong with YOU?

Why won’t this potential love of your life/desired temporary receptacle for your bodily fluids RESPOND GOD DAMN IT?

Here’s the painful truth: You are not entitled to a woman’s attention.

Nope. You’re not. Nuh-huh. No matter how hot you find her, how horny you are or how grateful she should be, you’ve been sold a lie to expect it and we women have been sold a lie to comply. A lie an older woman just sighs at and exhales, “Oh, fuck that shit.”

I can’t speak for other women but I want someone who adds something beautiful to my already busy life, and it takes a hell of a lot to make the cut. I only want people who inspire mutual joy, who share a desire to grow and learn, and who are as equally generous and emotionally secure as I am.

I’m not looking for a quick fling or a physical fumble at the back of your nearest cocktail bar (sorry about that), so why waste my limited time on guys who appear demanding, immature, self-interested, attention-seeking or otherwise unattractive to my eyes? You may say I’m judging a book by its cover, and that that’s unfair; I say, in the era of high-quality smartphone cameras it’s easier than ever to have a better cover and even then, not everyone wants to read every book. Sorry.

(Face it; do YOU find every single woman attractive simply because she’s older than you? If so, son, you may have a condition *coughs*. For every hot MILF you’d like to F, there’s at least another in a slightly dubious boob tube who you’d turn your back on if she fell over drunk on the dance floor, right?)

I know, I know; rejection hurts. Science (clever science) has shown that social rejection makes the same bits of your brain light up as physical pain does. So if it ever feels like you’ve been kicked in the stomach, your brain pretty-much agrees that you have.

Take comfort in the fact that it happens to everyone (I’ve been knocked-back more times than those aforementioned Pinot Grigios); that it’s probably about them not than you (except when it’s TOTALLY about you, sorry about that, get a good friend to give you some honest feedback, bruv); and embrace it as a learning opportunity – if you’re getting a headache from banging your head against a brick wall, it’s nature’s way of suggesting you move along and try going through someone else’s door instead. Please?

We all experience rejection in our lives; not all of us are classy in how we handle it.

Are you?

The post Can you handle it? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Tackling the age old question of size versus performance is always a bit of a minefield. As a woman I can only speak from the perspective of being on the receiving end and as their appendage is a man’s pride and joy you have to bear in mind that any criticism will really get them where it hurts.

Being ‘hung like a horse’  does have distinct advantages because quite simply the question of size is one you don’t ever have to ask yourself. You can proudly wander about naked in the showers tackle out! I have often wondered whether that is what happens in the men’s changing room at my local gym.  There is no shortage of naked bodies of all shapes and sizes in the ladies one. You are besieged on all sides with boobs and bums with no sign of embarrassment. I just have this vision of men scuttling about hiding their bits under a very large towel. But not of course if your middle name is Shergar!!

So from a woman’s point of view do you get a better deal with a Big Boy ?. The moment of unveiling is always a jaw dropping moment. You have no idea what you are going find and they certainly do come in all shapes and sizes! There really is no way of judging it. I have heard all the old wives tales..big feet means big d**k..you can tell by the hands .But the truth is the size of a man is no yardstick for the size of his sausage. It matters not how tall, short, fat or thin he is, it will always be the one that you least expect that has your eyes watering in anticipation.

So on the plus side a well-endowed man will be more confident in the bedroom and will be able to reach parts of you that you didn’t know existed. On the down side you may have to choose your positions carefully. With someone wielding a larger than average manhood there is one position that has to be taken very slowly. Yes ladies you know the one ..woof!woof!   You may need to reach for the K.Y. Jelly  and you will definitely get jaw ache if you kiss the beast :). So it’s not all plain sha***ng…I mean sailing when it comes to Mr.Big!

There is a lot to be said for Mr Average he can be consumed with gay abandon from every conceivable angle and you won’t suffer from lock jaw or the embarrassment of walking like John Wayne the next day.

As for Mr Smaller Than…you usually find that he can do things with his hands and tongue to rival any sex toy you can find in the Ann Summer’s shop even if you use them all at once!. On the subject of sex -toys they are always a good thing to keep in reserve should you need to bring them into play and adds just that bit more excitement!.

But at the end of the day it comes down to how you feel about the naked man lying next to you. If there is chemistry combined with meeting of the minds and a genuine bond then sex becomes more about feelings than his physical attributes. That is what makes the experience special.

Impulse sex on the other hand, maybe with someone you have just met will be a frenzied frantic experience. You will be caught up in the head rush that comes with exploring each other’s bodies for the first time. It will be carried on a massive wave of sexual chemistry big enough to rival a tsunami! Trust me you will not give a damn about how big his equipment is!

So to conclude does size really matter ? My answer is.. Only if you let it! Hope you will excuse me I’m off find my ruler

Cougar dating expert Gaynor Evans is also the author of Sex and the Signposts available on Amazon!

Follow her blog Sexandthesignposts.com or check her out on Twitter @gingerbirdevans.

The post Hung like a horse? Does size matter? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

I blame Anne Bancroft. There she was, looking like a sexually sublime schoolmistress in The Graduate, asking the gauche Dustin Hoffman “Would you like me to seduce you?”, and the die was cast. All older woman can teach younger men how to become better in bed, a fact which arrives in the post along with your Happy 40th! birthday cards.

While the idea of sleeping with someone simply for the experience isn’t gender specific (hello, all you groupies out there with treasured band t-shirts you still sleep in), it’s definitely a trend amongst articles about dating older women. We’re sexier and better in bed apparently, with a guy “hard-pressed to find a better tutor” for some of the best sex of his life. From having more notches on the bedpost, to more practise between the sheets, to being eager to teach and more confident generally, older women are touted as the ‘been there, done it all’ gatekeepers to a toyboy’s greater sexual satisfaction. Who wouldn’t love to be sent spinning around the bedroom by Kylie, for example?

As an older woman myself, all I can say is .. phew. Intimidating, much?

Yes, I may’ve become sexier and more body-confident as I’ve grown older but dear God, the sexual prowess others confer on me through age alone is a hell of a lot to live up to. I may know what I want in bed but insecurity strikes all of us (especially with someone new; come on, who hasn’t nearly exploded from trying to hold a fart in for too long?).

There are times when I read my messages from younger guys and wince; between the lines I can sense the story in their heads. A story which makes me, an entirely human bag of chemicals, frailties and squidgy stuff, into some kind of sexual granter of wishes. They look at me as a means to a (sticky, visceral, able to repeat on demand) end; I look at me and know that I hog the duvet, laugh like a unplugging drain and, on balance, would far prefer a nice hot cup of tea.

And I’m not alone. Young men may have it even harder (stop sniggering at the back, you); thought to be in their sexual prime, I’ve lost count of the guys who’ve told me about the pressure to perform. Maybe that’s one big plus for younger guys who sleep with older women; they’re more likely to console you than scold you for your unaccountably fallible phallus.

So here’s to you, Mrs Robinson, for setting the bench so high. And here’s to the rest of us; ordinary mortals with fears, hopes and insecurities who can still manage to dance whilst they limbo beneath it. There’s probably a lesson in there somewhere.

The post Older women: a Finishing School for Sex? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Our resident dating expert Gaynor helps us another Toyboy Warehouse member with a cougar dilemma:

I love going to the gym but the young girlfriends I’ve had don’t give me the time to enjoy my hobby, will an older woman?

Jackson, 26,  loves going to the gym, but it’s causing a dating dilemma. His exes never gave him enough space to enjoy his hobby, he’s wondering if branching out into cougar dating will solve his issue. Jackson thought it’d be easy to balance his gym passion and his relationships, but it isn’t going too smoothly. Toyboy and cougar expert Gaynor is here to help young Jackson out.

Older women tend to have a much fuller life, they have careers, children, family, etc. Will this help with Jackson’s problem? Does the lifestyles of older women suit Jackson’s hobby? Watch Gaynor’s video to find out her answer.

Also, make sure to check out Gaynor’s semi-autobiographical novel Sex and The Signposts

The post Ask The Experts: “Will dating a cougar help with my fitness lifestyle?” appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

In the last few weeks, the Twittersphere was all a flutter with the story of a dating blogger who was slammed by a troll who accused our heroine of being the reason that men to expect sex on the first date.

Some women, like myself, hope to have sex on the first date if that date rings our bell*. If anyone, regardless of gender, expects sex, then they’re not worth going on a second date with until they evolve a whole lot more.

However, this issue happened to turn up on my media channels just as I started examining my dating motives.

I’d been having a marvellous time at TBW – being “courted”, as it were, by a carousel of beautiful, young men was intoxicating – how could it not? And been on a several dates all of which culminated in lovely orgasms. Only one of whom I’d seen more than once.

I’d never done the Tinder thing, so I can’t compare the experience. And the last time I went “on the pull” was well over 20 years ago. But essentially, these were hook ups. With added sparkling, intelligent, wide-ranging conversation. My particular brand of aphrodisiac.

Like my heroine of the sex on the first date storm, I enjoy sex and I don’t see why sleeping with a man on the first would automatically make me a slut and/or preclude a second. There was one whom I wanted to see again and, ugh, I developed a crush on. Luckily for me, he turned out to be a class A arsehole so I am glad I didn’t see him again. Another… well, I didn’t want to see again, but he’s persisting and I’m not resisting, mainly because I’m curious to see what happens.

But then I started feeling dissatisfied. Was it because I wasn’t seeing them again? Was it that I was really ready for a… relationship?

So I decided to give not sleeping with a hot boy a go. The result was that I wish I had fucked one witty, sensitive, gorgeous young man’s brains out instead of holding back. Because, guess what? I didn’t see him again. My hormones were practically screaming at me to go for it, but nooooo, I chose to go against my nature and denied myself for… what exactly?

Coincidentally, I discovered Dr Zhana Vrangalova, her excellent Tedx talk “Is Casual Sex Bad for You” which shed a little light on why I was feeling so discombobulated. She asked certain questions which should help to clarify if casual sex was for me but it turns out that I’m not so clear cut in my desires (her Casual Sex Project by the way is pretty awesome).

What the denial did show me though, was that I craved intimacy, which I wasn’t getting from the encounters. And I thought back to one of the things I learned earlier this year about how long-lasting happy relationships came about: friendship first, forming an emotional bond, leading to intimacy.

The problem is, I am currently in a situation where meeting new friends is not so easy. In fact, it’s a lot easier to arrange a hook up. Wham, bam, thank you, young man. Perhaps, the cause for the unhappy was that the encounters were too often and too close together? So right now, I am allowing myself to be pleasantly distracted by a hot boy who is teasing me with thoughtful intercourse on lust, need and sexual motives. I know he just wants to do me. But he also seems to like me for me, and tells me frequently how sexy he finds me. He once astutely observed that my ego loves him, which is why I’m talking to him. And he’s right. He’s young, he’s full of life, and he’s so easy on the eye, I am the envy of the 20-something women he should be dating.

Until I can figure out how I can make new friends, I’ll make do with new playmates. Don’t mistake me: I like my own company, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone else to stroke. If I can’t have a deep, meaningful friendship with the oh-my-god, I can at least have the orgasm. Not too shabby, I’d say.

*What an anti-masturbation Christian website delightfully coined “ringing the devil’s doorbell.” LOVE it. Incidentally, the one I didn’t fuck: I didn’t see him again because he lived 3 hours’ travel away. Stupid girl. Should have seen that one coming. Lesson learned.

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