A kiss goodnight
Had a drink with the newly married T-Rex the other night. He
has also recently become a father.
A toast to his new life and mine (sans The Man) was in
order.
We met at my local.
He looked good, but well, not quite as handsome and irresistable as six
months ago. How to describe it?
Some of his crackle had gone missing.
Maybe I just didn’t fancy him anymore. Maybe I was just, after all this time,
meeting a very good friend. Wasn’t
sure. Could have been either or
both.
We had a G&T outside and there was just a hint of cooler
air, the fall was on its way. Our
banter was there. And the
chemistry. Christ the
chemistry. We just cannot keep our
hands off each other. It is rather
ridiculous and now, completely not ok, given he is married.
We were set for a long overdue catch up. My Dad’s death in April. His mum’s second round of chemo. The
markets. Deals happening, not
happening. Hangliding. My break up with The Man.
Then, odd for us, there was a pause, a lull.
Looking at this man, the one I fell in love with the first
time I laid eyes on him, my heart broke a little for him, not me.
Marriage was hanging on him like a really bad 50/50 poly
suit that he’d just bought at Primark.
It didn’t fit him anywhere. Visibly uncomfortable in his own life.
Like I wrote a while back, some of us are more pre-disposed
to marriage. I am a Southern
woman. I was raised to get married.
I accept it. I also do not
have any family left. As a
divorced only child with dead parents and its just me and the fellas and thank
God a huge and loving circle of friends, but its not the same as a
partner.
But the T-Rex.
Whoa, here is someone that I think just really is someone that was never
meant to be married. Maybe its
just years of Toxic Bachelordom he has to slough off like a skin he’s
outgrown.
Or maybe he married the wrong girl.
I wonder if he would have looked any different tonight if
he’d married me?
Would love to think so and we still might find out (heard
recently that William Hill is running 2-1 odds that I will be his 2nd
wife within 5 years)…
We finished our 2nd G& T. He drove me home in his stonking Range
Rover with its personalised plate, full to bursting with hang gliding gear, not
even a car seat for the baby.
It had been lovely to see him.
Good.
Sound.
Whole.
He kissed me.
Then we kissed each other, not proud, a lot.
But here’s the thing.
The kisses felt so different from this time last year. They weren’t kisses about the future,
the life we could have had.
Nah, they were kisses of glorious suburban safety, its
warmth, its predictability….kissing the T-Rex I was kissing all of that, not
goodbye, but goodnight.
I’m not ready to go back to that, not just yet.
And God bless old Rexy. He knew that last year, long before I did.
He might have married the wrong girl.
Time will tell.
Actually, I kinda hope he didn’t cause I care about the
guy.
A lot.
I want him to be happy.
But he didn’t marry this girl. He let me go.
Thanks Rexy.
I owe you one.
Ms. Magnolia
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