If I have been asked this question once, I’ve been asked it a thousand times.  So it occurred to me, it might be a good idea to write a blog about it, to share the ideas that I’ve had time to consider with the community. Then in future, when I’m inevitably asked again, I can produce it as a ready response. (I’m always thinking ahead hehe!)

To be honest, this is the question that probably has the widest variety of answers, for the more I consider it, the reasons are endless.  Alternatively, when I consider why I would want to be with a much older man, I can’t think of a single reason to do this. The inclination is that strong – sorry older men!

Fundamentally, for me, there is simply no other option. When I look at younger men I find a lot of them very physically attractive – and who doesn’t! Likewise, the older they get, the less attractive they become to me. It’s like magic, once they hit a certain age, I just don’t find ANY of them attractive. The feeling is so strong that I compare it to a sexual orientation. Just as you cannot choose to be homosexual, I can’t choose to fancy older men. For me, it’s a genuine preference, but there is far more to it than that…

Getting into toyboy dating

I first dated younger guys when I was about 24 and since then, the age gap has only increased. Because when I was 24 I had a relationship for 6 years with a guy who was 21.  When this was over, I started to date guys around 10/12 years younger.  It was clear, the gap had noticeably grown.  In fact I remember wondering if it was “wrong” but I just couldn’t help it. Then I met my ex-husband.   He was 11 years younger than me and we lasted 20 years.  It was only when my marriage was over that I realized that my tastes had hardly changed.   But what had changed was the size of the age gap!!!  Quite dramatically.

What do others say?

People often ask, am I trying to stay young myself? That I honestly do not know. What I do know is that I feel my original spirit returns around younger men and I really love that, they help me to remember that age is only a number and I am as young as I feel.

Despite the possibility of raised eyebrows, I love the big age gap. It’s unusual, it’s different, it even excites me that it is slightly shocking. I believe that you can look at life from different perspectives and that is what lets you see the world in your own unique way.  Younger people have “the big adventure” ahead of them. I’ve had all that once and I want it again. I refuse to think that just because I’m a bit older I can’t have adventures ahead to look forward to.  Being around younger people I pick up on that energy and I absolutely love it.  Having the advantage of coming at that with a little more life experience and wisdom than I had when I was younger gives me a fantastic energy of my own that I can add into the equation.

I do find it very exciting, very sexy and really incredible when the age gap disappears completely and you realize you simply “get on”.

Yeah it has its downsides – which relationship doesn’t? But with the right guy, I think the upside is well worth the risk and all things considered…  Why younger men? I think my answer would have to be because that is what I like (and because I can!)

This blog was written by J and is published as part of our 30 Blogs in 30 Days Campaign.

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