Peer Pressure
No… not in the playground… but it feels a little like it. When I first joined TBW, I kept fairly quiet about it for a while. I’d never dated anyone younger than me before, let alone much younger. I hadn’t been looking for younger; I was led to the site by chance and then was happily surprised by it. Younger men are just so much nicer than any man of my own age I’ve found on an internet dating site. So, I gave them up… the other internet dating sites, I mean… definitely not the younger men…
When I first started ‘coming out’ to friends, they were in the main both surprised but seemingly supportive. They thought it sounded fun; some even went as far as saying that I was so gorgeous it wasn’t surprising younger men were interested in me. Well, that’s good, you might say. Great friends.
Despite the support, I didn’t talk of it much. TBW became like a separate part of my life, especially when I was with many of my friends who were still in their long, looooong-standing relationships… like the one I left behind. I certainly never passed on intimate detail but I’d occasionally mention a new date; perhaps that I’d seen someone again. But recently, the air around my little mentions has cooled. There’s been a whiff of, ‘We really don’t want to know about you and younger men’. I might say something as simple as, ‘X was back in London and we met up a couple of nights ago’, and it’s as if I haven’t spoken. Not a, ‘Did you have a good time?’ but a complete change of subject.
One friend has gone as far as sending emails and texts with lists of men – older, of course – from other sites she thinks may suit me. I suppose I have been guilty of saying to my friends, ‘Well, of course, I’d like to meet a lovely man of my own age…’ because I know this is what they expect. They expect that I should stop cougar dating with the toy boys and ‘grow up’ and ‘settle down’ with a man of my own age.
So, last weekend, a friend told me about a couple of dating sites that she’d heard were good; she’d even met someone who’d gotten married to a guy she’d met through one. Well, marriage definitely isn’t on my mind… but still, a little more commitment than 24 hours ahead… I have to say, that could be good. So, I spent hours filling out those dreary, irritating psychological testing forms that are supposed to help you find your perfect match. And what do they come up with? Guys who are ‘looking for life at a slower pace’ (excuse me, didn’t I say I wanted to travel the world and do exciting things?); men who class watching TV as a ‘leisure activity’ (yes, of course I watch TV sometimes… but there are definitely better things to do); men whose pastimes amount to ‘enjoying’ wildlife and nature and walks in the country (ohmygod… are we talking the Ramblers’ Association here?)… Well, I like a walk in the country but that wasn’t the kind of ‘wild life’ I had in mind when I think of a great date.
And the outcome to all this? Taking my name down from those others sites. Really, life’s too short… there are better things to do than go on dull dates… I found this out in the past… why had I forgotten?
And my friends… well, lovely as some of them are… I really do need some new ones to fit my new life. So, here I am, with a smile on my face… and yes… to hell with peer pressure… I’m going to do exactly what makes me happy.
Written by KatJG
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