Can a 21 Year Age Gap Work?
I met James at work. He was just 20 and I was 41.
I heard he liked older women and fancied me. I thought that it was time I had a fling as I had been single for 7 years and it would be just that, a fling. So, we arranged a date at my flat and when he turned up he was really chatty and easy to get on with, thank goodness, as I was really nervous. We went straight to bed and I thought thats all it was going to be.
In the morning he asked to see me again and already wanted to plan things in the future with me. He was refreshingly open and clear about his feelings. A few days later we met again and went out for dinner and it was as if we had known each other all our lives. We were so comfortable with each other and it felt right. It turned out we had the same sense of humour, loved the same music and watched the same TV programmes. We laughed all the time and I realised we were soulmates.
Everyone I knew thought I was mad to start a relationship with a 20 year old, until they met him, then they got it. We were totally compatible, apart from the age difference. As he said, I got him and he got me.
After six months of bliss together, James left me. He said he couldn’t see a future in it and he would one day want a family. I spent the next 7 months devastated that he had gone, I loved him so much. Then on my birthday, having not talked for the 7 months, he came round to see me. He said he realised how special our relationship was and he needed to find that out for himself. So we got back together.
We then had a monogamous, happy relationship. We were a team, and we even started a business together. We did everything together and were inseparable. Yes we had problems with how people perceived us. We had people being rude to us in shops and friends who said it would never last. No one took us seriously. But we knew it was serious and that was the thing that welded us together.
Out of the blue, 5 months ago James ended it again. He again feels he has to, at 33, go and have a family. Again I was devastated. I couldn’t believe it. However, this time I have moved on, with the help of TBW. I am dating again and have had good looking guys sending me lovely messages about how gorgeous I am, perfect. James has also moved on and is with a girl who is 30 with whom he can start his family.
I don’t regret one minute of being with him. He is a lovely, gorgeous guy. He made me feel really special for those 13 years; it was the best relationship I have ever had.
I know we will always deeply love each other wherever we are or whoever we are with.
Written by a TBW user, or aka, Miss X