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30 Dating Dilemmas in 30 Days – Part 1

Your favourite cougar dating site Toyboy Warehouse is on a mission, we have 30 dating dilemmas from members past and current. We have 30 days to answer them.

To help we’ve enlisted the best and brightest in dating & relationship experts. They’ve kindly offered their unique insight to help us meet our target.

So, how did we do?

Laurie Groh

Tell us about yourself: 

I am the co-owner Shoreside Therapies since 2012.  I am a relationship therapist and work with couples and individual that want to work on their relationship or are contemplating leaving it.  I also work with teens, college age, and young adults with transitions, anxiety and depression. I’m an instructor at Lakeland University in the graduate program.  I’ve been with my husband for 15 years and have 4 kids.

If someone came to you for dating/relationship advice, what should they expect?:

I am someone that thinks about both perspectives.  I’m not going to side with my client. I will empathize with them and the other person and then come up with a plan or a better way of communicating.

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?: 

I’m currently moving towards workshops to help more people.  I have 2 that will be opening up again shortly: Bringing Baby Home and 7 principles of Marriage.  I’m also working towards an online version for people that want the convivence and privacy.

Dating Dilemmas

Name: Gareth

Age: 31

Gender: Male

“I’m dating someone who’s a little allergic to dogs, not deathly allergic, just a little allergic. I, on the other hand, have 6 dogs. She’s telling me I have to get rid of my dogs or we can’t continue seeing each other. I say she should just take allergy tablets. Who’s in the right here?”

The one that is right isn’t the actual issue.  Unfortunately the one that is about to leave is the one that has the power.  This is just the truth. You will have to make a choice here. I will caution that someone that can’t compromise on taking allergy medication, seeing that your dogs mean so much to you will not likely compromise in the future.

Name: Anonymous 

Age: 39

Gender: Female

“Our relationship started out as an affair. I didn’t expect it to get serious but now that is has I don’t know if I can trust him, given how we started”

Trust is not black or white.  It isn’t “I trust or I don’t trust” situation.  It is on a continuum and not based on one thing.  You can trust a person to be on time, but also not trust them to be faithful.  It makes logical sense that you would not trust this person to remain faithful.  They are capable of an affair, but so are a lot of people.  Roughly 30% to 60% of all married individuals will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage (Buss & Shackelford 1997).  This is probably on the conservative side. 

You might want to ask yourself if can you tolerate the ambivalence of it.  Educate yourself on why you both ended up in this situation. Understand it isn’t likely that the affair happened because you are soulmates, but rather the excitement of an affair can be intoxicating.  Know your partner’s family history as it plays a role in this as well. Check out Ester Perel’s book: The State of Affairs for more insights.
Buss, D. M., & Shackelford, T. K. (1997). Susceptibility to infidelity in the first year of marriage. Journal of Research in Personality, 31, 193-221.

Dawn Burnett

Tell us about yourself: 

Dawn Burnett is a Transformational Divorce Coach and Wellness Strategist, she helps to take the dirty out of divorce by helping people figure out the areas of life that are no longer working and serving their highest good, so they can divorce them with mercy and grace, bringing them back to the amazing person they truly are. Dawn is the founder of A New Dawn Natural Solutions, Inc, an honors graduate of Alternative Medicine, Co-Executive Producer of 2 TV shows, a speaker, published author of 3 books, Co-Author with Jack Canfield, song writer, actresss, inventor, radio host, journalist, founder of the #SHEROproject, contributing writer for Thrive Global and the Huffington Post and she has an impressive media roster from ABC, TBN, FOX, WKMG, Shape Magazine, Reader’s Digest, Brit + Co, and much more. 

If someone came to you for dating/relationship advice, what should they expect?:

There first would be a 30 minute discovery process to clearly identify where they are at relationship wise with self and what they are trying to achieve. Then I create a customized solution & strategy plan to get them moving in the right direction.

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?:

I have recently released my newest book, Connect How To Love And Accept Yourself After Divorce. I am Co-Executive Producer of EmpiHER and Spark TV which airs on Brandprenuer Network and I am also working on the SHEROproject; stories of abused women that have transformed their lives, they are thriving and using their public platforms to positively impact the world. The stories can be found on Arianna Huffington’s Thrive Global under Dawn Burnett.

Dating Dilemmas

Name: Anonymous

Age: 45

Gender: Female

“So I’m recently divorced at age 45. I’ve only been with one man since I was 16 and I have no clue where to start looking for another. Help!”

First off let me start by saying take time to work on yourself before jumping into the dating scene, that way you will have clearly identified your worth and what you are looking for. There are many ways to find a man but the most popular today is online dating. Make sure your photos are current, proceed with caution and just have fun. Another great place to meet men are events like boat, air, and car shows. Also check out your local single meet up events.

Name: Martin

Age: 31

Gender: Male

“I’m planning to propose to my long term girlfriend. I’m not the most romantic of guys so I need some ideas on how to do it. Have you got any?”

Hi Martin since you aren’t super romantic you want to stick with something simple that way the proposal comes across authentic, yet you still want to impress your girlfriend as this is a monumental moment in her life. I would suggest going on a picnic, hand her the sandwich container and when she opens it have a note inside that says, “Will you marry me?” I would hide the ring underneath the note or better yet when she turns to look at you with her surprised look open the ring box, wait for her response and then kiss her. 

Michele Meiche

Tell us about yourself: 

Dawn Burnett is a Transformational Divorce Coach and Wellness Strategist, she helps to take the dirty out of divorce by helping people figure out the areas of life that are no longer working and serving their highest good, so they can divorce them with mercy and grace, bringing them back to the amazing person they truly are. Dawn is the founder of A New Dawn Natural Solutions, Inc, an honors graduate of Alternative Medicine, Co-Executive Producer of 2 TV shows, a speaker, published author of 3 books, Co-Author with Jack Canfield, song writer, actresss, inventor, radio host, journalist, founder of the #SHEROproject, contributing writer for Thrive Global and the Huffington Post and she has an impressive media roster from ABC, TBN, FOX, WKMG, Shape Magazine, Reader’s Digest, Brit + Co, and much more. 

If someone came to you for dating/relationship advice, what should they expect?:

There first would be a 30 minute discovery process to clearly identify where they are at relationship wise with self and what they are trying to achieve. Then I create a customized solution & strategy plan to get them moving in the right direction.

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?:

I have recently released my newest book, Connect How To Love And Accept Yourself After Divorce. I am Co-Executive Producer of EmpiHER and Spark TV which airs on Brandprenuer Network and I am also working on the SHEROproject; stories of abused women that have transformed their lives, they are thriving and using their public platforms to positively impact the world. The stories can be found on Arianna Huffington’s Thrive Global under Dawn Burnett.

Dating Dilemmas

Name: Anonymous

Age: 45

Gender: Female

“So I’m recently divorced at age 45. I’ve only been with one man since I was 16 and I have no clue where to start looking for another. Help!”

First off let me start by saying take time to work on yourself before jumping into the dating scene, that way you will have clearly identified your worth and what you are looking for. There are many ways to find a man but the most popular today is online dating. Make sure your photos are current, proceed with caution and just have fun. Another great place to meet men are events like boat, air, and car shows. Also check out your local single meet up events.

Name: Martin

Age: 31

Gender: Male

“I’m planning to propose to my long term girlfriend. I’m not the most romantic of guys so I need some ideas on how to do it. Have you got any?”

Hi Martin since you aren’t super romantic you want to stick with something simple that way the proposal comes across authentic, yet you still want to impress your girlfriend as this is a monumental moment in her life. I would suggest going on a picnic, hand her the sandwich container and when she opens it have a note inside that says, “Will you marry me?” I would hide the ring underneath the note or better yet when she turns to look at you with her surprised look open the ring box, wait for her response and then kiss her. 

Dr. Paulette Sherman


Tell us about yourself:

I’m Dr. Paulette Sherman, a psychologist, dating coach and the author of, ‘Facebook Dating: from 1st Date to Soulmate’ and ‘Dating from the Inside Out.’ I see clients for psychotherapy in my private practice in NYC and do relationship coach9ing by phone. My website is www.DrPauletteSherman.com

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?:

I just published a new book, ‘Facebook Dating: from 1st Date to Soulmate,’ about how to use the new Facebook Dating platform to find love and I’m working on a book about how to improve your marriage next.

Dating Dilemmas

Name: Anonymous

Age: 29

Gender: Female

“My husband and I have been married for close to six years, in that time we’ve talked at length about having our first child together. I finally convinced him to start a family but now we’ve started trying he’s changed his mind and is backing out. How do I convince him again?”

Sometimes in relationships, one person stops initiating sex. I understand it hurts you when you initiate and your partner seems disinterested. There can be many reasons for this. Sometimes when someone feels exhausted or depressed, their libido tanks. Sometimes partners take each other for granted after they’ve been together awhile. Things become routine and this makes intimacy suffer. Other times it can be a sign that something is problematic in your relationship. It could be that your partner doesn’t feel loved or they may feel hurt or angry about something. The only way to know for sure why this may be happening is to ask. I recommend that you do not have a conversation about sex while in bed. Do it at a safer place when you are both in a good mood and have time to talk. Lead with something positive, like how much you care about them and that you want things in your relationship to continue to be good. You can say that you’ve noticed your sex life decreasing and you hope that they can be honest and share what might be going on and if there’s any way you can help to improve things. The other thing you can try is to have a date night where you have fun and romance together and then after you’ve connected that way (away from your daily routine) you can initiate sex in a more romantic context, and not on a work night.

Name: Anonymous

Age: 44

Gender: Male

“I have a fourth date with someone this weekend. We’ve planned a night away at a fancy hotel. I’m so nervous. What can I do to calm my nerves”

It’s normal to be nervous early on in dating, especially when you really like someone. There are many firsts, including taking a mini-break together. The likelihood is that she might be nervous too. Remember that the right person for you will like and appreciate you as you are. It’s important to make sure that your self-talk is positive. Be your own cheerleader and review in your head all the reasons that you will be a great partner. If this is hard for you, then think of what your friends or family would say about you. Also, for your nerves, it can be helpful to use a tool like meditation or deep breathing to help you feel more grounded, relaxed and centered. It’s easy to do, quick and inexpensive. You can explore options on YouTube and find a guided meditation that you like for free and just do it for 10 minutes while in the bathroom while you are away. Remember that most things get easier with practice. As you both get used to being away together, you will relax more.

Dee Strickland

Tell us about yourself:

I’m Dr. Paulette Sherman, a psychologist, dating coach and the author of, ‘Facebook Dating: from 1st Date to Soulmate’ and ‘Dating from the Inside Out.’ I see clients for psychotherapy in my private practice in NYC and do relationship coach9ing by phone. My website is www.DrPauletteSherman.com

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?:

I just published a new book, ‘Facebook Dating: from 1st Date to Soulmate,’ about how to use the new Facebook Dating platform to find love and I’m working on a book about how to improve your marriage next.

Dating Dilemmas

Name: Anonymous

Age: 29

Gender: Female

“My husband and I have been married for close to six years, in that time we’ve talked at length about having our first child together. I finally convinced him to start a family but now we’ve started trying he’s changed his mind and is backing out. How do I convince him again?”

Sometimes in relationships, one person stops initiating sex. I understand it hurts you when you initiate and your partner seems disinterested. There can be many reasons for this. Sometimes when someone feels exhausted or depressed, their libido tanks. Sometimes partners take each other for granted after they’ve been together awhile. Things become routine and this makes intimacy suffer. Other times it can be a sign that something is problematic in your relationship. It could be that your partner doesn’t feel loved or they may feel hurt or angry about something. The only way to know for sure why this may be happening is to ask. I recommend that you do not have a conversation about sex while in bed. Do it at a safer place when you are both in a good mood and have time to talk. Lead with something positive, like how much you care about them and that you want things in your relationship to continue to be good. You can say that you’ve noticed your sex life decreasing and you hope that they can be honest and share what might be going on and if there’s any way you can help to improve things. The other thing you can try is to have a date night where you have fun and romance together and then after you’ve connected that way (away from your daily routine) you can initiate sex in a more romantic context, and not on a work night.

Name: Anonymous

Age: 44

Gender: Male

“I have a fourth date with someone this weekend. We’ve planned a night away at a fancy hotel. I’m so nervous. What can I do to calm my nerves”

It’s normal to be nervous early on in dating, especially when you really like someone. There are many firsts, including taking a mini-break together. The likelihood is that she might be nervous too. Remember that the right person for you will like and appreciate you as you are. It’s important to make sure that your self-talk is positive. Be your own cheerleader and review in your head all the reasons that you will be a great partner. If this is hard for you, then think of what your friends or family would say about you. Also, for your nerves, it can be helpful to use a tool like meditation or deep breathing to help you feel more grounded, relaxed and centered. It’s easy to do, quick and inexpensive. You can explore options on YouTube and find a guided meditation that you like for free and just do it for 10 minutes while in the bathroom while you are away. Remember that most things get easier with practice. As you both get used to being away together, you will relax more.

Elizabeth Eiten

Tell us about yourself.

I help women who are struggling with trauma and codependency develop authenticity and confidence so they can build meaningful relationships and fulfilling lives. As a holistic psychotherapist, I incorporate mindfulness meditation and other evidence-based mind-body healing techniques to promote wellbeing. I am passionate about creating a space where women can heal from emotional wounds as opposed to just treating the symptoms. 

If someone came to you for dating/relationship advice, what should they expect?

Anyone who comes into my office can expect a friendly, compassionate, and nonjudgmental environment where they can learn about themselves, psychology, biology, and the nature of relationships. 

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?

This year, I opened my group practice, Boketto Center, which specializes in holistic, evidence-based mental wellness. We now know that nurturing our mind improves our overall health by reducing stress and inflammation in the body, which lowers the risk of disease. I opened Boketto Center so women would have access to services that help them connect their mind and body for whole-body healing. 

Dating Dilemmas

Name: Cathy

Age: 40

Gender: Female

“My ex won’t give me a second chance. How do I convince him to take me back?”

You should respect your ex’s boundaries. It would be helpful to ask yourself why you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you. Understanding your intentions could be an opportunity to learn more about how you approach relationships. 

Name: Anonymous

Age: 22

Gender: Male

“I’ve had two separate women tell me I’m terrible in bed (like really bad). It’s freaked me out so much that I haven’t had sex since. Should I just give up and join a monastery?”

Good sex is subjective. Now is an excellent time to learn more about what you and your partner(s) enjoy. Use your curiosity to find out about your partner’s likes, dislikes, and fantasies. Having these types of conversations prior and while having sex will make sure everyone is enjoying themselves.

Name: Ed

Age: 31

Gender: Male

“I have been dating a woman for three months, but I never told her I am separated but still married. She has her suspicions and has been hinting that she knows. How do I tell her without angering her because I did not tell her from the beginning.”

It would be essential to own your secretive behavior and explain the reasons why you have kept this from her. You can’t control her emotions, but you can be empathetic and understanding of her response. Being truthful and accepting of your partner’s response is honoring and respecting her feelings and the relationship. Having difficult conversations is vital for growth in any relationship.

Davondra Brown

Tell us about yourself

Davondra Brown is a speaker, author and a Master Certified Health Education Specialist (MCHES®). She thoroughly enjoys her life’s mission of facilitating health education and promotion on relationship health, interpersonal communication and especially sexual wellness. Her professional advice has been featured in Redbook, MSN.com and Bustle, just to name a few, and she is published in the Journal of African American Studies. Davondra Brown is also the author of Alphabet Gumbo: Spice Up Your Sex Pot and has earned a Bachelor’s in Philosophy, a Master’s in Education, an advanced certificate of Innovative Technologies in Health Science Education and will soon pursue a Doctorate in Marriage and Family Therapy.

If someone came to you for dating/relationship advice, what would they expect?

Anyone I work with can expect a straight forward, information-laden experience. After listening to them about where they are and where they want to go, I share all my expert knowledge in order to provide applicable options for them to choose from.

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?

I am working with survivors of inter-personal vioence and sexual assault to help them create their personalized sexual wellness journey. I’m also in the process of writing my second book and creating continuing education opportunities for health and healing professionals to infuse their practice with sexual wellness education topics. You can find this and more at www.DavondraBrown.com

Dating Dilemmas

Name: Anonymous

Age: 41

Gender: Female

“I’ve dated men all my life, and even married two of them! However, I’ve recently started a relationship with a woman and at my age – I’ve never been so confused! Am I striaght? Am I gay? How in the world do I figure this out?” 

First off, you are human and no other label is needed unless you feel compelled to do so. This means you don’t have to define you nor does anyone else. There are plenty of labels out there if you really want one but I would suggest you concentrate on whether or not you are happy and satisfied. If they care about you and treat you well, I’m not sure there is much to figure out.

Name: Anonymous

Age: 29

Gender: Male

“I’m a virgin at age 29. I feel like my life is over”

Great! You’re a virgin. This is the perfect opportunity to learn yourself. Understand what it is that makes you happy and give yourself these experiences. Explore your sexual druthers and learn all you can about your own sexual needs and desires outside of a partner. Focus on mental awakenings, sexological world views and sexuality in other cultures so you can be more versed in the possibilities when potential partners do present themselves. And remember, you are always at day one of the rest of your life!

Name: Emma

Age: 29

Gender: Female

“How do I get over an ex?”

Most would say, “get under the next!” However, I would say, get under your skin. Dig deep! When you have given yourself to a relationship that doesn’t work out, you must grieve and rebuild. Honor the space that relationship took up. Figure out why you needed to go through it the way you did by identifying what you should have learned from it. Commit these educational moments to memory Then you can start the process to rebuild an even better version of yourself, with or without “a next.”

Bianca Asiya Saeed

Tell us about yourself

I am a holistic health & wellness coach, passionate about uncovering the negative patterns in relationships & empowering individuals to permanently fix them. I am also a wife & mother. I love basketball & being outside.

If someone came to you for dating/relationship advice, what should they expect?

I specialize in focusing on bad habits & social expectations that don’t serve my clients. If there are behaviors my clients are subconsciously demonstrating, I point those behaviors out to them & help them move forward in behaving in a more desirable way. I also help my clients discover the negative behavior patterns of the other person in any of their relationships, so that they can properly address them.

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?

I am currently writing a book that teaches others how to successfully navigate & maintain a healthy multicultural marriage. I am also launching a group program for stay-at-home moms that will teach them how to live a happy, passion-filled, intentional life at home with her kids.

Dating Dilemmas

Name: Gary

Age: 29

Gender: Male

“I’ve been seeing two women for a couple of weeks now, they don’t know about each other and eventually I’ll have to break it off with one of them. The problem is I’m not sure which. How should I go about deciding?”

Hi Gary, 

When you are deciding between which woman you should choose to pursue long term, you should think about three things. 1. Does she share your core values? 2. Does she have similar life goals to you? 3. Are your personalities compatible?

I know this isn’t terribly romantic, but after a couple of years, the romance will have turned into something either substantial or something superficial. Literally asking her these questions and writing down the answers will help you to make a successful long-term choice. 

P.S. For personality compatibility, take the MBTI online free version & then look up your compatibility based on type. Good luck.

Name: Terry

Age: 31

Gender: Male

“So what should I do? I proposed to my girlfriend a few months ago and she said yes. Before I proposed, our relationship was perfect but since then she’s become distant.”

Hi Terry, 

It sounds to me like she may be taking this decision seriously. She could be adjusting her mindset to accommodate the fact that she will soon be a married woman & wife or she could be getting cold feet & perhaps isn’t ready to commit. The only way to find out is to have a discussion with her. Ask her why she has been distant and just listen. Make it known that you have noticed a change in her behavior but try not to talk too much. Her response to this question should shed some light on her recent behavior.

Name: Anonymous

Age: 41

Gender: Female

“My boyfriend is 14 years younger than me, we’ve been together for a while and we’re both really happy. But I’m not sure if the age-gap we have means there can be a future. What do you think?”

Hi Anonymous,

This question brings up more questions! I hope these questions make you think about things & begin to think about opening up a conversation with your partner about it. How long have you two been together? If you’ve been together for some time, then what is making you consider your age now? Have you two committed to each other in some way (i.e. live together, exchanged promise rings, own property together, etc.)? If you have committed to each other with more than just words, it’s more likely that both people in the relationship have invested for the future. I hope that helps!

Angela J. Thompson

Tell us about yourself

My name is Angela J. Thompson.  I am an Executive of multiple enterprises and a seasoned Business, Life and Success Coach.  I have achieved various levels of success personally and pride myself in being a resource, through which others are able to reach the levels they seek.  Specifically, in the dating/relationship space, I have developed an online tool for singles who seek long-term relationships and/or marriage, MarriageMindedOnly.com. 

If someone came to you for dating/relationship advice, what would they expect?

In the event that someone approaches me for dating/relationship advice, they could expect that I would assess their personal thought and attitude about dating.  Upon understanding their personal approach, I begin to evaluate their feelings because emotions are the direct link to their motivation. 

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?

I am continually generating content for our Marriage Minded Only blog and contributing to dating/relationship publications.  I am also making appearances at dating/relationship conferences and interviewing with various interested media sources. 

I am also a contributing author to the anthology, The Diary of A Ready Woman, sold on Amazon. 

Dating Dilemmas

Name: Anonymous

Age: 55

Gender: Female

“I’m dating someone 15 years younger than me. I’m so happy and have never enjoyed a relationship this much. But I don’t know how to tell my family and friends. What should I do? How should I go about telling them?”

Dear Anonymous, 

Dating a younger individual can be exciting!  It can give you a certain level of validation and can be freeing!  You get to be you, while feeling valued and alive!… On the other hand, you can also feel judged by others who are not experiencing your newfound freedom and validity.  The best approach to sharing your excitement and joy of dating this person with family and friends is to be solid in the benefits of being in the relationship. When you are grounded in, i.e., “how he/she makes me feel,” “he/she supports my dreams,” “he/she wants to build with me,” it is really good news to share and you should not feel ashamed, nor afraid because this person is positively contributing to your happiness and well-being.  Which is absolutely what all of us want, right? When you are firm in understanding and benefiting from their contribution to your life, you can firmly and confidently say, “I am dating him/her” and really feel good about your decision, therefore maintain your stance with all others. 

Cheers!

Angela J. Thompson

Name: Steven

Age: 30

Gender: Male

“Do women appreciate being asked out randomly in public? Can I ask someone for their number in the street or would I always be seen as a creep?”

Dear Steven: 

Dating in this virtual world of texting, DM-ing, Inboxing and Snapchatting, the act of approaching an attractive and interesting person may seem archaic and creepy, but it is the most practical way of making your appeal.  Stepping out of the “now” norm and asserting yourself is an act of bravery and heroism. Especially, if you walk away with the win! Though it can be intimidating and feel like a violation, according to today’s standard, it can build character, earn you respect and set you apart from many others.  So, if you see someone you really would like to get to know, conquer your fears and approach them respectfully. 

Greatest of Luck to you!

Angela J. Thompson

Name: David

Age: 27

Gender: Male

“Why has my girlfriend gone off sex? I care about her but this lack of intimacy is killing me. It’s been close to eleven months. Am I a jackass for being upset?”

Dear David, 

Sex is very intimate.  As women, we engage when we want to get closer or remain connected.  It is not always deemed a “need” for a woman, but oftentimes a desire. So,  when a woman chooses to engage in sexual contact, within a committed relationship, desire has to be present. 

By no means are you wrong for being upset.  This issue is more personal for you because, sex is typically a necessity for men.  It’s very natural to be upset, but you have to go against your nature, sometimes, for the woman you love to get to the root of the problem. 

You can toss around a lot of questions and feelings, during a stressful time like this, but you have to genuinely connect to her feelings to understand the underlying issue.  Is she depressed? Is she angry with you? Is she worried about something? You must ask the necessary questions, assuring her that you really care. Then help her seek the proper assistance if the matter is beyond your control and/or level of expertise. 

Hoping for the best, 

Angela J. Thompson

Brianne McGuire

Tell us about yourself 

I research and document real sex for the purpose of inspiring people to accept every part of themselves. I am the host / producer of the podcast SEX COMMUNICATION and founder of GRAPHICPAINT, both of which feature honest, explicit accounts of life and sex. 

If someone came to you for dating/relationship advice, what would they expect? 

My advice is well-informed, bullshit- and judgment-free, and slightly humorous. Ask me anything but be prepared for some hard truths! 

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on? 

Right now I’m working on the next phase of development for my platform GRAPHICPAINT: building out a sex-positive, media-sharing community with a new site and custom app. I’m also working on the production of original explicit content in collaboration with other sex-positive volunteers and media-makers. 

Dating Dilemmas 

Name: Anonymous

Age: 45

Gender: Female 

“I’ve only recently come out of a very long marriage and haven’t been with another man for almost 25 years. I’m so nervous about an upcoming third date. What should I do?” 

MASTURBATE. Reestablish connection with your body, desires and fantasies; approach this upcoming date as an expert on your own sexual satisfaction. Having this confidence and knowledge of self will put you at ease, and allow you to embrace the encounter as an opportunity for pleasure. 

Name: Anonymous

Age: 40

Gender: Female 

“I hate to have the most cliche, dating question but… how do I know if a guy likes me? There’s a guy at work, we’ve flirted, been friendly with each other but he hasn’t made a move.” 

Your gut knows what’s up and if you suspect he likes you, then he probably does. But more importantly, do you want to be with someone who isn’t willing to make the first move? This isn’t a statement on gender roles, but about knowing what characteristics are important to you in a partner. If you are comfortable being the dominant in a relationship, ask him out; if you are more at ease being pursued, find someone else. 

Name: Anonymous

Age: 33

Gender: Male 

“What’s a surefire way to spice things up in the bedroom?” 

SHOW your partner what you want — share the porn you watch, masturbate in front of them, introduce a device you’ve fantasized about using, etc. When you share these specifics, you are demonstrating trust, confidence, and exactly what you need to get off. Your sexy show is not only an education, it’s the opening of a door to increased communication and experimentation. 

Elisa Robyn

Tell us about yourself:

My name is Dr. Elisa Robyn and I have a PhD in Educational Psychology. I have just transitioned from a 20 year career as an Academic Dean into my own private practice as a Transitions and Prosperity Expert. My goal is to inspire a renaissance of spirit in my clients, helping them create the life they crave. I am also a professional astrologer.

If someone came to you for dating/relationship advice, what should they expect?

I have four steps to create the life people want. First we focus on true values and desires. Then we subtract everything that is not symmetrical with the life they want to build. Next we work on drawing or “seducing” that life. This means we do not chase after desires, we call them to us. Finally, we look at how to sustain this life. IF the client is open to it we will start with a deep dive into their astrological chart.

What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?

I am working on my third book, have a weekly radio show, and continue write for several online magazines. My ongoing work is in the area of healing our broken hearts to build a more prosperous life.

Dating Dilemmas

Name: Rob

Age: 25

Gender: Male

“I don’t find women my age interesting, I’ve always much rather relationships with older women,  would they be interested in a younger guy like me? Love Rob”

Hello Rob. It is wonderful that you know yourself so well. There are many older women who would be interested if you are willing to continue to grow emotionally. Older women are interested in men who are fun, and yet have a sense of maturity, patience and a willingness to learn. Keep working on your own life, including your career so that you feel financially and emotionally secure. This is very attractive to any woman, but especially women who share those traits. Make sure you know what you enjoy doing so that you can find a woman who shares your interests. Are you more athletic or more artistic or both? When you are secure in yourself you will find that women are attracted to your self confidence as well as your interest in them. Best of luck

Name: Linda

Age: 31

Gender: Female

“I’ve recently become pregnant for the first time, I’m single and have been dating for a while beforehand. How will my dating life change when I start to show? How about when I’m a single mother?”

Hello Linda. This is an exciting and challenging time for you. It is very courageous of you to follow your dreams and have a child on your own. Your attitude and behaviors once you begin to show will determine how your dating life changes. Men will want to know that you are taking care of yourself and your child. They will also want to know your expectations of them. Make sure you take some time to reflect on these issues so you know what you want and can clearly express this on a date. This is also true once you are a single mother. If you are happy and joyful about your life, and are taking care of yourself and your child, men will be attracted to you. You will be loved at the level that you love yourself. You are a courageous woman and will find a courageous partner. Best of luck. 

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