‘Tis The Season For Online Dating
Time off in the run-up to New Year enables many people to reflect on what is missing in their lives.
The retailers have “cyber-Monday”, the first Monday in December, when Christmas shopping panic sets in and online purchases reach record heights. But in matters of the heart the seasonal tipping point comes later, beginning in that melancholy lull between Boxing Day and the New Year.
The post-Christmas period is the busiest time of year for internet dating sites, with traffic surging on Boxing Day and peaking in the first week of January. Thousands of single men and women, perhaps with the irritating and intrusive questions of friends and relatives still ringing in their ears, will this weekend look for romance online. Some sites have reported increases of up to 350% since Christmas, and most have hugely increased their advertising in the hope of luring the lonely, bored and curious.
A 39 year old London woman joined a dating site on Boxing Day after having time to reflect on her life. She said that she did not travel to visit her family abroad this year, which gave her more time to relax.
“I have had a very busy year. This Christmas I actually had the time to stop and think: what would make my life more special? Even if you have a very full life, it can always be improved by sharing it with someone,” she said. “People are very busy and they are not looking for love at every turn. Time goes by really quickly. At Christmas you sit back a bit and think maybe there’s room for something else.”
Time is only one part of the motivation, according to Phillip Hodson, a fellow of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy. Being obliged to spend time with family and friends forces single people to observe how others live. “Christmas tends to be a period of review and revision, partly because it gives you the chance to observe existing models of relationship – the ones that you have, the ones you want to avoid and the ones you want to emulate,” he said.
“It is also the winter pause when you review what has been missing in your life and what you want in it, and a period of great loneliness for people who don’t fit into the government-approved vision of family. Many sense they want a crack at feeling better than they did in the preceding 12 months.”
Dating sites have all reported large increases in post-Christmas traffic. One site director said: “We usually see a significant increase in new members from Boxing Day onwards, and find this surge continues through February, including before and after Valentine’s. The beginning of the year is undoubtedly a peak time for new joiners.”
“Christmas and New Year, in particular, are times for resolutions and a change in behaviour, which can prompt people to take positive steps towards finding a new partner. For many, Christmas is time spent with friends and family, and this can motivate people to take the next step towards finding someone special; similarly, for those on their own, it can be a time of reflection and this can inspire the decision to join.”
One 26 year old guy from Cornwall joined a dating site on 30 December 2011 and began messaging a woman on 1 January. They went out a week later and are still together one year on. “I got home to my shared flat after Christmas with the family. There was no one home and nothing to do, so I decided to do something about it.
“I had felt a bit snobby about internet dating but some friends had tried it, so it felt less intimidating,” he said. “I hadn’t had a girlfriend for a year and I thought: ‘2011 – what have I done wrong? Where can I change some stuff?'”
Not all internet dating is as successful. Once people are back at work, membership wanes, along with that other staple of new year resolutions, gym membership. Hodson warned: “When we go back to our lives of work, we resume the attitudes of that life. Unless there is a massive impetus, it easy to fall back into the pre-Christmas way of thinking.
“When we are busy, we feel more fulfilled and it is easier to decide to take things easy than invest in our future.”
Here are some interesting dating facts:
- One in five relationships in the UK now starts online (YouGov, December 2011).
- Online dating is the third most common way for people to meet a partner in Britain, after “through friends” and in a pub or bar (Isurus, August 2011).
- Almost half of all singles in the UK have looked for a relationship online (Isurus, August 2011).
- Singles contribute almost £3.4bn annually to the UK economy in their search for a partner (Cebr/YouGov, September 2011).
- The Office for National Statistics added online dating prices to its basket of goods and services from which it calculates the UK rate of inflation, which reflects the rapid growth of the market and consumer uptake in recent years.
Have any of you joined Toyboy Warehouse, or other dating sites, for these reasons? Let us know in the comments…
Source: The Guardian
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