Toyboy Warehouse isn’t just the UK’s largest cougar dating site, after inhouse dating experts are world renowned for their insight. That’s why we’ve uncovered the most essential books, podcasts, video series, etc. on all things dating. Whether you’re newly single, someone making the most of their bachelor/bachelorette life or a lucky so-and-so settling in to another relationship, these are the most essential books and podcasts you need to be checking out.

Is there something we’ve missed off the list? Let us know in the comments.

April Kirkwood, Working My Way Back To Me

For rural Ohio beauty queen April Kirkwood, her #MeToo moment came way before the term was coined. She lost her virginity to the middle-aged Frankie Valli at 16, after a decade pursuing a childhood fantasy to be the crooner’s wife. Through April’s eyes, we experience joys and heartaches that echo across more than a half-century of old family secrets and ways, and the triumphs and defeats involved in trying to break the mould. The book sheds light on universal struggles involving love, sexuality, addiction, and mental health. April’s adventures lead to betrayal and suffering, and her fate depends on family. April must learn the fine line between guidance and sabotage as she claws her way to a future not as a saviour, but as a fiercely accomplished woman.

Check out Working My Way Back To Me

The Couples Counsel by Dr. & Mrs. Mercier

Relationships don’t always go the way we hoped and often include poor communication, money fights, and lack of sex & intimacy. Dr. & Mrs. Mercier believe the challenges in relationships are opportunities for growth. That is why they have made it their purpose to equip couples and families with the necessary tools for happy and healthy relationships.

Check out The Couples Counsel

Maria Leonard Olsen, 50 After 50

When lawyer/journalist Olsen reached age 50, she decided to try 50 new things that were significant to her. As a woman in recovery, the author values the time she has left, and through her own story, urges readers to do the same via activities such as singing like no one’s listening, riding a horse, and performing random acts of kindness. She enumerates many more exercises under the headings of “spiritual endeavours,” “thrill seeking ventures,” “lifestyle changes,” and so forth, but the message is that we should value and embrace life to the fullest. VERDICT An inspiring read for those who are in or have passed through middle age.

Check out 50 After 50

Diana Raab, Lust

A passionate journey through private emotional moments, Diana Raab’s Lust voices the pain of loneliness and the heart’s yearning for love while transcending the depths of human desire. In her fourth book of poetry, Raab employs narrative verse that is alive, titillating, and seductive. Lust examines the emotional and physical complexity of love, helping readers navigate the risks of intimacy as we move toward the realisation that every experience enriches our lives, whether we perceive it as joy, pain, or out of the ordinary. Yet for all their psychological richness, the poems’s simplicity and accessibility will resonate with women and men across all walks of life. Lust is a book you won’t put down and won’t soon forget.

Check out Lust

Sign up to Toyboy Warehouse – the home of British cougars and toyboys.

The post Essential Reading/Listening For Your Dating Life – December ’18 appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

For many, divorce it a liberating experience, for others it is a depressing one. Where do you I go from here? How do I date again? What will my life now look like? More than anything, the uncertainty of the future is what troubles new divorcees. The journey ahead can be a fantastic one, if you know which path to take.

Focusing on getting to know men, not getting to know you

Who are you?  No really, who are you? Marriage can be a wonderful thing, but it does alter who you are. Areas of yourself merge into your partner, you adopt traits you never had before, the characteristics that once belonged to you are now shared. This is great and all, it develops who you are a person, making you a richer, more intricate version of yourself. Yet, when you’re cut off from that relationship those areas of your personality become quite confusing.

How much of who you are and how you act is actually you? How much was a temporary change because you spent so much time with your partner? How much has now been adopted by your very self, so much so that you’re unable to see the line between you and not you? These are the questions you must answer before dating after a divorce. Start understanding you, the real you. Is a hobby of yours actually something you’re interested in, or just something you happen to do because your partner did it? Find yourself acting in a particular way that now seems alien to you, was it ever part of your personality or just a mimicry of your ex? It’s amazing how others can have an impact on our lives, but if you don’t spend time distancing yourself from people who are now out of your life, that impact can still remain. How is a new partner supposed to get to know you if the person you’re being isn’t actually you?

How do you do this? Time is the most important factor, these traits will naturally disappear with time. It also helps to acknowledge them, take some time to yourself to observe how you act and behave, think carefully on whether this is me or just a shadow of your ex.

Not recovering from that hit to your social life

For many divorcees, one of the biggest changes they notice is how their social life alters, how it starts to disappear. Don’t worry, this is very common. When you were married you made friends with other married people, many of your connections were through your partner, many of the activities you took part in catered to couples.

The friends you had when you were married are not necessarily no longer your friends. It’s important to remember your marriage didn’t dictate your relationship with these people, it may have instigated it, but it wasn’t an essential part of it. With that being said, you may have to put in some effort in continuing those relationships. Force yourself to reach out to these people and strengthen the bond you already once had. For your friends nothing has really changed, they’re still in their relationships and still have most of the same friends. That means it’s up to you to make contact and ensure your friendship doesn’t disappear.

In doing this try and introduce ‘non-couple’ activities. It’s very easy when you’re in a relationship to fall into a routine of doing couple based hobbies. Branch out and bring in a little innovation to your friendship circle.

Your sole focus is ‘how can the people around me help me‘

In difficult times we look to others for help, but many times we should be doing the opposite and helping others. Have other friends/family members recently become divorced? Did you reach out to them during what may be a difficult time? If you did, great! If you didn’t, you can understand how support is a two-way street.

To enrich your friendship circle, offer help instead of ask for it. Meet new people by volunteering and helping worthwhile causes. Reach out to people who you lost contact with because they were going through a difficult period. It’s surprising how the wonderful feeling of helping others can in turn help you.

‘Hi, I’m Jane, I’m divorced’

Does it sometimes feel you walk around with a name badge that says something like that. Relationships are universal, nearly all cultures have marriages and divorces, millions are divorced and millions are currently married. When a relationship status is so common, does it necessarily need to define you?

You are the same person you were before you were married. Yes, experiences and time may have changed you but it has not removed who you are. We apply categories and groups to understand different people, but we are never just the qualities of those groups, we are so much more complex. That is why assigning yourself as a divorcee, thinking of yourself as a person who is divorced, is a poor mindset to have. You are who you are, you are the same person, you just happen to also have a previous marriage. You must remember it does define you, it is just a small area of the multifaceted person that is you.

Dating has changed

With so many new dating apps, sites, rules, codewords, mannerisms, it may seem impossible to branch out back into the dating world. To get over that fear, simply remember it isn’t a bad thing to now know something. You are new the dating world, you are unfamiliar to many things, enjoy the experience of learning how people now meet and date. Remain open to new experience, enrich these experiences with the insight you’ve gained through your marriage.

Dating sites and apps aren’t a scary place to be. They are also not a one solution fix to your problems. Try these services with an open mind, be aware there may be things you don’t like, but be ready for the experiences that will enthral and delight you.

Toyboy Warehouse has been providing love, lust and romance for 10 years, we have seen how difficult divorce can be, we have seen how freeing it can become. We’ve seen thousands of individuals regain their life and experience joy they never thought they would have when married. Learn to not make the mistakes many new divorcees have and remain open the exciting world that is now in front of you.

The post Dating After Divorce? The 5 Need-to-Know Mistakes You’re Making appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Toyboy dater Gaynor Evans, 56, has recently gotten quite a bit of attention among the papers. Why you may ask. Glamorous grandmother Gaynor claims to have picked up over 100 toyboys because it feels sexy and empowering.

Us at Toyboy Warehouse know full well the benefits of toyboy dating, as well as the new lease of life it can give you. Gaynor embodies that with her fun-loving, confident attitude. Gaynor says she enjoys dating younger men because they know what they want and she’s not looking to be tied down anytime soon.

Everyone has a preferred age range, for cougar Gaynor she prefers her men 25-35 because they have more passion, both in and outside the bedroom. From lawyers to bankers, from Australia to Switzerland she’s found excitement from a various different toyboys.

While she prefers muscles, Gaynor says it’s not all about looks. ‘I like a brain. I like intelligence’.

Gaynor’s love story didn’t start with with toyboys however. At the age of 18 she was married and not long after had three children. But after difficulties in the marriage Gaynor decided she had to leave.

Not to let her relationship ending bring her down she decided to ‘re-invent’ herself. I ‘lost weight, went to the beauticians and started going out with my daughters’. She quickly started to attract younger men and it didn’t take long for Gaynor to start her toyboy adventure.

Gaynor is one of our proud ambassadors and we so glad to see the attention her wonderful experiences have had. Follow her blog Sexandthesignposts.com or check her out on Twitter @gingerbirdevans.

Source: DailyMail

The post Toyboy Warehouse member Gaynor Evans hits the headlines with her toyboy antics appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

The age of my playmates has never been before a topic of discussion, as in, “Isn’t he a bit young?”.

I bring it up now because there was a brief flurry of a discussion on social media about not dating people under 28 as they’re not “serious enough”. The eyebrow went up and the lips pressed together*. I very carefully refrained from diving in — after all, I married at 22 to someone who was about the same age.  I’d say we were pretty serious.

It really does depend on the definition of serious, I suppose. Like dating, it’s one of those words which means a multitude of things to different individuals.

Back then, serious was move in together, get married, build a life together…. forsaking all others for each other.

To me, now, serious is simply committing to someone exclusively. To put it bluntly, don’t sleep with other people. But even that simple statement requires further definition, particularly in today’s context. For instance, do we agree to delete our profiles from all dating websites? Do we stop talking to those we had connected with? What constitutes cheating?

Sadly, we are not telepaths or empaths. We only have words, and they are poor tools for communicating such complex issues. It’s further snarled up by the fact that what’s important to one person may not even be on the radar of the other. 

Like many singletons, I would like a partner in life, I also have a child, so on the face of it, someone in their early 20s would be unlikely to want to “settle down” with someone like me. It would require a certain maturity, yes?

The thing is, maturity is a funny thing. I know 40-somethings and even 50-somethings who behave like my 6 year old, have not really taken many risks in their lives and have attitudes that would not be out of place in a secondary school. That is not to say that they have not led meaningful lives. My recent dating adventures have shown me that it’s not the number of years lived, it is how they have been lived, and how you choose to live now.

I am firmly middle-aged. Many have observed that I have had a turbulent past and done a lot. But that is only compared to some. In the last six months, I have encountered a handful of under 30s who have done so much more with their relatively short spans. Of those, three have played international sport and lived in different countries. Two have had experiences with death that I would not wish on anyone. One is possibly in a war zone right now. Two of the three are under 25. Collectively, they have taught me so much. They opened my eyes to worlds and concepts that I would not have otherwise encountered. All of them had wonderful stories to tell, had so much energy and such enthusiasm for life, it was invigorating.

Maturity for me, is also about how self-aware you are. How much you can see how your words and actions impact on another person and how much you care about what that effect is. How self-aware were the 20-somethings I’d encountered? This is the trouble with blanket judgments – there will always be wrinkles to trip you up. One was, is, simply astonishing. And continues to impress me with the depth of his mind and character. I am honoured to have made his acquaintance. He is only 23. 

Were any of them looking to “settle down”? No. But before you say, “I told you so”, that doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t if the circumstances arose. I could tell that one definitely wanted to, but the voices that cried, “But you’re only 24!” were loud and troubling.

And here’s the thing that I learned painfully: I will never know if someone will be a life partner. But I may find someone to fashion a life with. And who is to say that it will be a single life? I am now living one that is wholly different to the one I had a year ago. So we may form something that lasts only a year, or it may last 20. A flower that lasts only a season, is no less beautiful. Note that to blossom, that plant needed to be nurtured and given time to grow.

I remain open to the possibilities. Age is just a number, yes, but it is also so much more.

The post Isn’t he a bit young? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

In the nine months or so I’ve been on Toyboy Warehouse I’ve told only a handful of friends about it (including my two grown-up kids).  I kind of knew all along what was holding me back, sniffing the possibility of disapproval in the air; the judgement of those who believe I should live by the creed of what they think a woman of my age should be doing – or not doing!

However, my life began to feel like it was divided in two: those who knew and those who didn’t, and I felt increasingly uncomfortable with that. So I decided to start being more open about it all. Why the hell shouldn’t I tell everyone who answers to the call of ‘friend’ that I’m having a good time with younger men?

But oh … eyebrows raise … mouths gawp open … reactions vary from a genuine ‘that’s fantastic’ to a sharp move away from the subject on to more mundane things. Men, since time began – or since anyone starting counting – have rushed off into a middle-aged sunset and the arms of girls twenty or more years younger than them, often leaving in their wake distressed wives of many years and confused young adult kids. People have always talked about waiting until kids are grown-up before leaving a marriage but statistically, the worst time – the time most likely to topple them into a depression – is when they are between the ages of 18 and 25.

Yet, when Middle-Aged Man does this, although there will be cries of disapproval, there will also be the secret asides of nudge-nudge, wink-wink, ‘I didn’t know old so-and-so had it in him’, and Middle-Aged Man acquires a new and enviable status. His assumed sexual prowess will be celebrated; he’ll become a token of envy amongst his peers (other men of course).  Middle-Aged Woman, however, doesn’t enjoy the same reaction.

Even a middle-aged woman who hasn’t broken up any marriages or upset any kids; told any lies or ruffled any other woman’s feathers – expectations of her are different. We may be in a world of rich and famous cougars hitting the headlines but ‘gorgeous women dating younger men’ hasn’t hit most ordinary lives yet.

I’m hoping this is all a middle-aged, generational thing and society is growing out of this sexist attitude to relationships. After all, does it really matter whether the man or the woman is the elder? And an age gap is just a number of years (‘What’s in a name?’ asked Juliet; ‘What’s in an age?’ ask I) and being with someone and both of you being happy is more about playing by the same rules and having the same expectations than counting numbers.

Someone’s emotional and sexual maturity isn’t by default linked to their age; finding someone sexy, fun and great company isn’t about their age or yours. Sure there are fantasies to be played out – the older woman; the younger man – but in the end this isn’t what necessarily makes a relationship work. So, here am I, going defiantly into a future full of possibilities. Seizing what’s best in the moment and living life to the full – and having fun!  And if anyone has a problem with that, let them not go by the name of ‘friend’.

KatJG

The post My Cougar Confession appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

UKs Largest Dating and Relationship Site For Older Women And Younger Man

If you’re looking to jump back into the dating world, why not try one of the most active and vibrant dating platforms? For over a decade, Toyboy Warehouse has been matching handsome younger men with mature women. From love, lust to romance, every dating style is catered for. Why not take a look and see for yourself?

Members Online Now

Join Toyboy Warehouse

I got asked the eternal question again last week! What do you get out of dating toyboys?

The question often posed by a seemingly happily married female, with that my life-is-better-than-yours smugness that seems to go with the territory always infuriates me! It is often followed by the other platitude… “Don’t you want to meet someone?”  The someone in question is (as we older woman who date younger men know) the same age or older gentleman who is looking for a long-term, committed relationship, preferably live in (because they get lonely) and requires me to be a caring, nurturing housewife. Been there, done that!

As I sigh and launch into my lengthy explanation that having been married twice I’m not looking for a husband and that younger men bring far more to the table than just meat and two veg! Not that I’m complaining about either the meat or the veg. I just prefer to buy mine in the fresh produce aisles at Marks & Spencer not the nearly past their sell by date ones in Tesco’s!

This is where I see one of two reactions:

Reaction #1

I see her eyebrows go up and to make herself feel better she will reassure herself internally that I am heading for a fall and it will all go horribly wrong for me some time in the future.

Reaction #2

The other often repeated reaction I get is one of amazement and adulation. The lady in question often single and maybe the wrong side of forty views me with amazement and envy and says wistfully

“I wish I could get myself a toyboy”.

It is obvious that she would love to be in my situation but doesn’t have the confidence to try and is full of apprehension. This one also infuriates me but for completely different reasons. I can empathise entirely with this woman… I was this woman. 

When my second marriage went south along with my husband (and the woman that lived next door) to say I was devastated would be an understatement.  To be abandoned after a lengthy marriage when you have been faithful  and gone over and above the call of duty was to say the least a body blow.  But to have it happen when you are sailing at forty knots into your fifties was capsizing. It was all I could do to stay afloat and not drown in my own misery.  So what was I to do ?

The Makeover

Finding a determination I didn’t know I had,  I reinvented myself. All the usual stuff… weight loss, exercise, hair and makeup. I changed my wardrobe… though not entirely,  money was in short supply but enough to put a spring in my step in the bright shiny very new  stilettos that I purchased.

Girlfriends

I gathered the sisterhood around me for support starting by throwing a divorce party! An all girl affair of course. I launched myself into socialising.

If someone asked me to do something I said “yes!“

Even if I didn’t usually enjoy it. I went out at every opportunity with old friends, new friends, my daughters in fact anyone that asked me. This was not the time to be sitting in by yourself disappearing down the neck of a large bottle of Chardonnay!

Enter The Toyboy 

During one of my early nights out I was chatting to a nice young guy that I knew a little. When he found out I was newly single, he propositioned me. I laughed loudly thinking he was joking. He made it clear he wasn’t over the next  few weeks. I was amused, I mean he couldn’t be serious could he?  He was twenty one! The age-gap was stretched out before us like the Grand Canyon but still he persisted.  I was flattered,  his attentions were in no small way helping me to get my mojo back.  He was good looking and charming and the fact that he desired me was a huge turn on. My sex life had been none existent for sometime and I loved sex I missed it..a lot. The combination of all these things rose to the surface all at once and sent me hurtling myself, like a lemming over the cliff and into his open arms and be blowed with the consequences.

 How was it for you?

That first experience was the deal breaker.  I was nervous and worried about getting naked. Could I remember the moves? It had been so long. Would I be able to keep up with a lithe and supple twenty one year old?  What about my wobbly bits? At the point where the self doubt was going to overwhelm me he knocked on the door.  I reached for the Chardonnay . My fears and doubts were unfounded. It was like going to bed with an adorable puppy that couldn’t do enough to please me. His positive joy in my body was a revelation. The woman in me was reignited and left burning brightly. I was back.

Enter Toyboywarehouse.com

As my first experience was so empowering I decided that maybe younger men would suit me very well going forward. But where to locate them ? As luck would have it an article appeared in the Mail on Sunday about a new website for gorgoeus women looking to date the younger man... Toyboywarehouse.com was in its infancy and soundaed like my kind of place. It wasn’t easy for me as internet dating was fairly new and  I didn’t have a clue what I was doing . Date one was a disaster but date two was va va voom ! Over the next year I used TBW extensively and as my confidence grew so did my dates. It was also nice to be involved with a community where all of the above explanations where are not required.

So my advice to all those woman that used to be me… is to go for it.  You won’t know until you try and life is too short to sit back waiting for something good to happen. It may not suit everyone but as woman you deserve to have joy in your life and there is a lot of  joy to be found in the arms of the younger man if only you are willing to flout convention.

To the doubter’s I say this….

“For those who have experienced the joy, no explanation is necessary for those that haven’t no explanation is possible!”

Happy Dating. 

For the full story get my book Sex and the Signposts available on Amazon! Follow my blog Sexandthesignposts.com

Follow me on twitter gaynorevans@gingerbirdevans 

The post The Joy of Dating a Toyboy appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

A law firm notes a rise in toyboy husbands filing for divorce; is it ‘game over’ for the cougar wife? It can feel like a modern-day rite of passage for a younger man to date an ‘older woman’.

Sometimes it’s born of curiosity; is it really true that cougars have higher sex drives and are more confident in bed than a toyboy’s female peers? Sometimes it’s to fulfil a cherished fantasy; you legion of sexy baby-sitters and teachers, burning a heady blend of authority and arousal into the young male mind. And sometimes it’s just love; who cares about chronological years when a soul (and soul-mate love) is eternal?

For while some liaisons are always destined to be brief (and leave as much imprint as those briefs on the bedroom floor), others are called to walk down the aisle.

Statistically, older husbands are still more common than older wives. But the most recent figures from the Office for National Statistics in the UK shows that 8,760 men aged between 25 and 34 married women older than themselves in 2012, a rise of 2.5 per cent in a single year.

So, more weddings. Bring out the confetti! But it seems that there’s a bad fairy to spoil the proceedings.

In this case it’s a law firm who declares a rise by a third in the number of divorces filed by younger men against their older female spouses in the last three years.

The law firm notes that marriages between a younger man and a more successful older woman have become more frequent in the 21st-century. Yay, equality. Right? The marriage may more easily break down, however, when the younger man develops or uncovers a desire to father children, just as his wife is entering middle-age.

“Although these cases are not as common as marriages and divorces in which men are the older of the spouses, we have seen a definite rise in such matters in recent years.” Read more

Marriage .. can be tough. Ask any older woman who’s gone through it and barely reached the other side. And marriage when you’re young .. can be even more difficult. Ask anyone who got hitched in their twenties, before they had a sense of who they really are, and found they had a ‘starter marriage‘ on their hands.

A sense of shaming pervades the coverage of this topic; how dare older women be so foolish as to fall for someone younger, and imagine it may last. The utter folly!

It neglects an important point; that relationships in your twenties, hell, relationships in general, are rarely ’till death do you part’.

At a time where we’re living longer, changing careers, changing location and reinventing ourselves through more choice and greater freedom, isn’t it time to use a new yardstick to measure relationship success by? To measure by depth, not duration?

Because no relationship is a failure if you grow because of it.

A younger man may end a promising romance when he starts to feel something more than initial lust, because he thinks that there’s ‘no future’ in it; an older woman may smile, having gone through so much more and thus knowing how fleeting happiness is a gift to be embraced and given wings.

We learn who we are, discover ourselves, find (and, hopefully, heal) those aspects of ourselves left wounded by earlier experiences in the crucible that is a relationship. Whether it lasts a summer or a life-time, let’s measure a successful union by how much we grow through being with a person.

So, to any nay-sayers and shamers, who clutch the statistics as proof of their disapproval and fear, I ask this; isn’t a world with hope that much more beautiful and worth living?

And perhaps the hope that love may, just may, conquer all, is surely the most courageous hope we have.

The post Rise in toyboy divorces: bad judgement or just bad luck? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

I have been asked many times “Why do you date younger men?” and still I find the question incredulous!

After being married twice and sticking to the conventional path like a Stepford Wife,  I found myself

• alone!
• single!
• and fifty!

I was in a very bad place, asking myself over and over, “who would want to date an old second hand bird like me!?”

Enter the “Younger man”: thick of hair, hard of body and with their own teeth and smiling hopefully in my direction.  Thinking at first that they were having a joke at my expense I resisted. But I realised very quickly that they were deadly serious and I was getting older by the minute. So one balmy summer’s evening I succumbed and all the reasons for saying YES to Toyboys became crystal clear. So let me explain why you, too, should date the younger man.:

1. He looks after his appearance – The younger man looks after himself, dresses well, smells gorgeous and works out! They look just as good out of clothes as in them and have a body confidence that exudes from every pore making them very attractive and exciting.
2. He gives great… conversation – This is always lively full of plans and ideas. Looking forward and not back (Let’s be honest they haven’t been on the planet long enough to have a murky past!) They are enthusiastic about life and haven’t yet been affected by the downside. They laugh a lot and pause only to tell you how sexy you are! It’s infectious and refreshing.
3. Affectionate and willing – Once they have gained your interest the younger man will be eager to please and want you to be happy. They are gentle and caring making you feel treasured and cosseted.  There could be a nice foot massage or an offer to cook dinner. Anything you want will be considered. This devotion makes you feel very special!
4. Attentive yet malleable – Hanging on your every word, telling you how gorgeous you are and going along with whatever you suggest.  You feel totally secure in the knowledge that you are in charge and he will not make demands or have any expectations of what you should do for him.
5. And – of course – the sex! – I may have left this until last but of course it is always top of my list.. Sex with the younger man is usually and without exception breathtaking, mind-blowing and addictive!. From the seduction to the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, table, sofa, car, and floor or wherever you let the passion loose you will be setting your sex on fire! Literally. But the best part? Once your passion is spent the chances are it will begin all over again..And again..And again..

There are no guarantees in life and from my experience we are better living in the moment and enjoying life to the full. For me the younger man brings me that joy and reminds me of what’s good about being alive  today, despite my advancing years!

I rest my case!

By Gaynor Evans, TBW member and author of Sex and The Signposts

The post 5 Unforgettable Reasons To Date a Toyboy appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

The latest reports from the Office of National Statistics shows us 42% of Britons file for divorce. Like most life experiences, they can happen unexpectedly and we are not always mentally and emotionally prepared for what is to come. Some of us, like myself, have a relatively easy divorce, your decree absolute is through the door within a year and you’re only arguing over the white goods. However thousands of pounds later after, after numerous court visits battling over children, houses and cars you may find yourself somewhat exhausted and distressed.

No divorce is simple unless you’re Britney Spears and it’s annulled  in seventy-two hours.

Every divorce is different. However it is what you choose to do afterwards that really matters.

After all the anger, hatred and bitterness has been laid to rest, you start the process of emergence into the next cycle of your life. It requires you to adjust your thinking about yourself and others and to shed a layer of your ego-filled defenses and let go of anything that stops you being less than who you are. It’s time to explore. It’s time to meet people. It’s time to go out and finally start having some fun.

Start by brushing up on your social skills: if you have been married for a long time, interacting with new people and dating again may seem daunting at first. Joining social networking and online dating sites can be great first place to start. It gives you the opportunity to make new friends and to get dates. Seeing if you share similar views and interests with someone first gives you great grounds for a first date, you will feel more confident and have plenty to talk about.

Plan a few nights out with your friends and stick to them: It gives you something to look forward to and get excited about. At this stage you need all the help and support you can get so you need to stay active within your social circle.

Go get a haircut! You’re not trying to be someone you’re not here, yes, if your daring go for the chop, but a simple cut and even colour can make you feel more confident, polished and ready to go. You will automatically radiate when you feel good about yourself. Same goes for make-up. If your stuck in a rut with the same old blue eyeshadow or pink lipstick go to a make-up counter and ask for looks to suit you and tutorials on how to apply it. You’ve worked on your inner self, it’s time to work on your appearance. The same goes for your wardrobe. Buy a few key items that you can mix up for drinks after work with the girls and for that all important first day. First impressions really do count.

Remember this: When you finally get your chance and you’re making your way to your first date…  keep conversations light and friendly. Do not discuss your previous partners, painful divorce, religion or politics. These are not subjects your date will be interested in hearing.

Last but not least: Do not sleep with your date on the first night, I’m not sure what is worse this, or falling in love after twenty minutes and trying to make it marriage number two!

The post 5 Quick Tips For Dating After Divorce appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Dating and relationship problems.

We all have them. Now there’s somewhere to share them.

Get answers to all of those questions that you just can’t ask anyone else right here.

Whatever the issue may be, whether you’re embarking on a brand new relationship with someone onsite, terminally single and looking or just plain lost, Toyboy Warehouses’ relationship experts are on hand to give you answers to all your questions. Simply email your question(s) to [email protected] and each week, 4 of them will be solved by one of our Toyboy Warehouse experts. The answers will be published on our blog – but don’t worry, your name won’t appear! There’s no judgement, just free and friendly advice.

This week, your questions were answered by author and expert Toyboy Warehouse member Wendy Salisbury. All names have been changed, so don’t try to guess who this may be!

To see your questions answered in this space next time, simply email them to [email protected]

You asked:

I’ve dated two women from the site and both relationships have ended because our connection was physical and not emotional. I just don’t know how to keep an older woman interested, how can I make sure she won’t get bored? – Robert, 28

Wendy replied:

Hi Robert,

It’s rare for individuals to click on every level.  In fact, it’s a miracle if they do!  A physical connection is wonderful – it means there’s good chemistry there – but the mental connection can be harder to achieve.  It may not be you, though; some women find it hard to engage emotionally especially if they’ve been hurt before.  They may just be trying to protect themselves and not give too much away.

As with all relationships, try to find common ground: books, movies, music, family, travel, art.  Two intelligent people, no matter their age difference, can always find something to talk about.  Making each other laugh is also important but try to avoid telling jokes – if she’s older then you, she may well have heard them before!

If you’ve only had this experience with two women, keep on trying.  Maybe the women you met were not the right ones for you.

Dating is like life: you can’t get on with everybody!

Best of luck!

Wendy

 You asked:

My face is well-known in my industry, I have a top-class reputation that I’ve worked really hard to achieve. But this can make dating really complicated for me. Sometimes I’ve even hidden my name from dates in the past because I don’t want to meet men who want me for my money/status. Do you have any advice to help me spot and avoid the wrong kind of guy? – Vivienne, 46

Wendy replied:

 Hi Vivienne,

As with any situation, avoiding the wrong route is mostly a matter of instinct and intuition.  Do you trust the person you’re talking to?  Do they seem genuinely interested in who you are, even if they know WHO YOU ARE?  It’s flattering to be recognized but not if they’re going to build on their reputation by bragging about yours.

A younger guy will probably be more impressionable so you may want to avoid the 20-somethings (as cute as they may be).  Go for someone in their late 30s or 40s – at least they’ll be more grounded with more life experience.

There will always be a social imbalance when the female is wealthier than the male.  He can, of course, bring other qualities to the party but finances are a delicate matter.  The words Sugar Daddy exist for a reason and if you don’t want to become a Sugar Mummy, you must start as you mean to continue i.e. keep a hold on your purse. You don’t want to become a meal ticket or effectively be paying for sex.  You may as well hire a gigolo!

With regard to your high profile, if your date turned out to be a hot young Hollywood actor or even George Clooney, imagine how you’d react?  It is human nature to be impressed by fame and fortune, but a real gentleman should remain cool and unruffled rather than ask you for your autograph.

The best judge of any situation is always your gut feeling, so have faith and trust in that. There are good men out there who will respect you no matter who you are or what you do.  You just have to sort the wheat from the chaff (or in this case the sweet from the chav).

Best of luck!

Wendy

If you’d like answers to any questions that you have, send them in to [email protected]

The post Ask Wendy Part 2: Your Relationship Problems Solved appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.