Pass the rubber!
Well it all kicked off after lunch. Five TBW girls having a chat and a good laugh with a bottle of wine. Well about six actually and checking out every guy as usual. Funny how eyes can suddenly mutate into scanners.
Anyway, from here on in we will be referred to thus; Lynx, Mermaid, Stinger and Charlie. Alas, the brainbox behind all this, Orchid, couldn’t join us for the oh so fab thing I’m about to tell you about.
Orchid led us to the little black door with the bell. Little did we know it would open Pandora’s Box. Fetish dressing heaven! I went from do I really have to go to a place like this, to hurling my Kit off at the speed of light. In fact we were all like stock car racers, crashing into each other on every corner to get to the clothes racks. There were a couple of guys there with their girlfriends. Only two changing rooms, so we just didn’t bother to wait. The guys were more than happy to give us their valued opinions on our outfits. No surprises there.
Catwoman; Well, she donned the shiny black patent catsuit and was immediately in love. She looked absolutely stunning. Sorted.
Mermaid; The full length black rubber dress was Wow! Sorted.
Stinger and Charlie; Similar little black dresses, only JUST covering their nether regions. Charlies had little buckles and straps at the front and clung to everything, as is the purpose of these get ups’ Stingers had zips across the tits. Ali Baba zips… open says me 😉 Black Fishnet hold ups to complete.
Off to Primark for our S&M footwear. Yes, it’s full of it so we were well heeled.
These outfits were all bought for the Torture Garden Halloween party. But we were on such a high we just HAD to find a venue for that night. Hey Presto the fetish shop suggested a place 😉
So approximately 8hours from ladies who lunch, we were ladies with a hunch that this would be infinitely more interesting…..
The taxi arrived and we were greeted with a huge smile. ‘Where to Ladies? The Ritz or Kings Cross?’
It’s a weird feeling being a fetish club virgin. You just don’t know what to expect. But one thing’s for sure, all your worries are but a distant memory within about a millionth of a second. It’s so liberating! We could all be JUST what we have always wanted to be and nobody CARES! You aren’t judged. Because however ridiculous you feel, there’s always someone there who looks even more ridiculous. Actually we all looked fantastic. But then mature women know how to cut the cloth better than most.
Mermaid was launched on by a hunky black guy brandishing a can. He proceeded to spray silicone all over her and then rub it in. ‘To make your rubber shine sweetie’ She had the shiniest tits in the club. Mmmmm
We were surrounded by all manner of people. Old, young, fat, thin. Very fat! Basques on huge arses with straps and leather and Jack and Dannys hanging out. Cross dressers with skinny little man legs and high heeled sandals. Complete latex outfits. And I mean complete…. how did the entire thing go over his face and body with no visible entry? …maybe we should have looked up his bum? and how is he breathing? and are his tits REAL implants? Contradiction I know. Jockeys with whips and Village People hats. All that plastic and latex… you could die from the fumes and God help us if there was a fire.
Drinks flowing and music playing. Lets dance! Mermaid decided her fetish boots were crucifying her (probably a crucifixion room somewhere here babe) so she unwelded them and found a secure little shelf to hide them. I can dance till dawn especially if the music is right. Mermaid however suddenly decided the floor itself looked more interesting and proceeded to fall flat on her face. Unfortunately the rubber full length Mermaid frock turned into a clamp. She couldn’t part her legs! I mean whats the point of being in a fetish club if you can’t get your legs open. Luckily there were enough men to scoop her back up onto her little tootsies, which by this time had swollen to double their size. Her knee was killing her and she’d bashed her lip. Mermaid, how can you fall flat on your face and miss your nose? But she did. I think she must have gone down on a rather more dubious appendage en-route. I said lets get another drink. She couldn’t find her boots. No surprises there then. You might know there’s no hiding place here Merm.
Lynx and Charlie were being chatted up left right and centre. Of course a catsuit is a man magnet and Lynx has the perfect figure for it. One particular guy was getting her attention more than most. More about that later…. Charlie pulled, but then she always does. The little black dress worked for her a treat. The icing on the cake is that us older women are also experts at the art of conversation. So you’re not pulling a kinky doll with eff all between her ears. Or legs come to that.
And then we spotted the Grope Tent! I have to add in that the grope tent is one with holes in the side. One goes in and the other stands outside and puts his/her hands through. There are four holes. Two high and two lower. By this time I had a really cute guy in tow so I towed him to it. He was very reluctant to go in… yeah right…and I dove my little feelers in and was away with the fairies. Not literally I hope, but you never know these days. Amazing how quickly a man can get a rocket in his pocket… or out of it. I decided I would like it much better if I was in the tent too. So I found my way in and like Mermaid, discovered the floor. Except this was out of choice. Went back to the bar and the girls were there. I said to Merm, (who was by this time looking more and more like Lesley Ash with her cut lip) come to the Grope Tent with me. So I put my boy back in there and gave her the lower holes. I had the top holes, which you may think is the booby prize or the bum deal. Oh the puns. But when there is a fantastic body to feel, there’s no such thing as the short straw.
The fun was endless, but it was time to head for home. Charlie had disappeared with her fetish boy and Lynx said she would stay with hers. Mermaid and I grabbed a cab and went back to Lynx place. Very useful having nice hospitable friends who live in London. Trouble was, Mermaid directed the driver to the wrong house and proceeded to spend 10 minutes trying to get the key into the wrong hole. Good job that’s not one of her usual handicaps. The taxi driver was still there. Of course he was with Merms arse in the air. I said we’re at the wrong bloody house and she said no we’re not the floor tiles are the same. Merm is by now the expert on floors. Every house has the same tiles Merm. It’s a different garden. Oh yes. Mr Taxi put us back in and reversed back down the road to the right house. We’ve both decided not to drink so much in future. Pinnocchio.
We never saw the whites of Charlies eyes again. Lynx turned up later with eyes like doorstops. She and her man had entered yet another room that Merm and I had missed!
Ok. This is what she witnessed… the woman lying legs akimbo with guy munching away, who was in turn enjoying (depending on what does it for you) anal penetration of the female kind donning a giant strap-on.
Say no more. Anyone for Tennis?
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