Gaynor | Toyboy Warehouse Ambassadors
Spa days, massages, trips to the beautician .. dating a toyboy? For divorcée Gaynor, 54, having much-need ‘me-time’ means only one thing – love and fun with a younger man. But it took a colleague’s push for her to rediscover her inner goddess.
“One Sunday morning, leafing through the magazine supplements, I came across an article on a new website for ‘the older woman seeking the younger man!’ Toyboywarehouse.com sounded like fun so I scribbled the web address for future use.
Sometime later, in the office, I joked with my colleague Chloe about this website for toyboys. It was lunchtime so she quickly googled it.
“Go on,” she pleaded, “put up a profile.” I hesitated as I was already on Facebook, which had proved quite entertaining. Then I said, “Oh, what the hell, go on.” Five minutes later, I was on the site, had uploaded my profile image and called myself ‘Gbird.’ “
Since this spur-of-the-moment decision Gaynor has never looked back. And with good reason.
“My life is over-full of roles and responsibilities, so the demand on my time is huge. But a date with a toyboy brings me back to the ‘other’ me who’s a sensuous woman, a ‘femme fatale’. I feel rejuvenated and able to carry on with the trials of life again.”
“Of course,” she adds, “the great sex has something to do with that. All those endorphins rushing around .. to quote Fifty Shades, “Oh My”..!”
For many women reaching mid-life after a divorce, low self-confidence and feeling invisible to men the same age can be a double-whammy. For her, the benefits of dating younger men were wide-reaching;
“The main thing was the confidence it gave me to be an older single woman! The prospect had been very daunting and my experience of men in general not that great yet here I was, older, wiser and having the best fun of my life. My first Toyboy Warehouse date was a bit of a disaster but the second was WOW. Nearly three years later we were still dating and I fell just a little in love with him and, yes, I was sad when he moved on to a more conventional life. But would I have missed the time I had with him? Not on your Nelly!”
Gaynor has advocated toyboy dating on ITV’s This Morning and charted her toyboy adventures through her semi-autobiographical novel, Sex and Signposts. So what’s her advice to other women about to take the plunge?
Enjoy it! Don’t question the whys and wherefores, just be in the moment.
Don’t have too many expectations. Younger men can be flaky and unreliable, so be prepared and don’t take it personally (trust me, the good ones are worth it.)
If your body confidence is low, look the best you can. Wax, polish, moisturise! Dress to kill and don’t forget those high heels.
Treat yourself to the kind of lingerie you can leave on. This can make you feel sexy and gorgeous during the date and give you confidence later in the bedroom.
Talking of which, do set the scene. Candles are great, and soft lighting flatters everyone.
Remember, you won’t be the only one with nerves. Even sex-gods can have a wobble and feel nervous.
Do protect your emotional self. You can become attached but not exposed. A clingy or needy older woman is very unattractive, and the independence which comes with age is one of your strong points. The facts are that a MUCH younger man will probably move on, but then again so do many same-age husbands – usually for younger women. Don’t beat yourself up if you do find yourself in a vulnerable place. Remember you’re only human, after all. Take a deep breath and move on .. plenty more toyboys in the TBW sea!