Threesomes are one of those fantasies that are hard to slip into conversations with partners, especially long-term ones. Without prior discussion of a ménage à trios, if a partner says; ‘Hey, look at her/him, don’t they look sexy?’, the reply could be a heated argument followed by a break-up. The problem with adding a third wheel to a perfectly working bicycle is the fear that the novelty will soon wear off, and soon enough someone, or everyone, will be left on a unicycle.
The tricycle relationship isn’t for everyone, and is mostly thought of as a fantasy rather than trying to risk making it a reality. But ménage a trois have been around for centuries, and can be a reality. Lord Nelson, famous for his column, was a point in a love triangle. Carl Jung, a psychiatrist whose theories still hold sway today, had ‘another wife’. And unsurprisingly, the courts of Britain had more triangles going on than Pythagoras’ notebook.
Perhaps the best way to propose a three-wheeled relationship is before a two wheel relationship even begins. If someone you feel emotionally attached to suggests adding another member (pun intended), it can obviously lead to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and plain confusion. But if it is a proposal that everyone can agree to without anyone getting hurt, why the hell not?
There are two types of triangle, both with their own points and sides to them:
FFM (Female, female, male). Perhaps the most popular sexual fantasy with guys. The idea of being able to please two women at once is a tantalising one, if not entirely practical. Turns will have to be agreed upon by the participants, but perhaps a coin can be flipped to decide who gets heads, and who gets tails.
MMF (Male, male, female). Again, a coin can be flipped over who gets heads and who gets tails, though in this scenario, there are a few more options for the open-minded.
The main problem with the ménage a trois, is that the ratio of the sexes will always be 2:1. There is the double standard that women can be sexually adventurous with other women, and still be considered heterosexual in a guy’s mind, in most cases, they’d see it as a huge turn on. But if a guy is sexually adventurous with another guy, even just looking at another guy naked, they are condemned to drinking cocktails and enjoying musical theatre forever.
That’s bollocks, of course. But the fact is if you want to be part of a triangle, everyone has to be sure of their sexual orientation, and what they want out of the relationship, just like in any other relationship. There doesn’t have to be a formal agreement to sign, but some basic rules over do’s and don’ts should be discussed beforehand so no boundaries are crossed and everyone involved gets what they want out of the relationship.
But can a three-wheeled relationship have a future? It’s unlikely that in the near future guests at a wedding will be saying; ‘Don’t they make a lovely trio?’ (unless the wedding took place in Salt Lake City in the 1800’s). Public displays of affection between men and women are still shunned by some people, if there were PDA’s between a man, man and woman (or woman, woman and man), there’d be fainting and dropping of monocles galore.
Society is finally, if begrudgingly, admitting that same sex relationships exist and are deigned to continue without incurring God’s wrath, so it will be a fair while before ménage à trois’ will be accepted as legitimate relationships, and not merely fantasies put in our heads by the Devil.
But other peoples’ opinions aside, can three-wheeled relationships make the distance without rolling over like a Reliant Robin? Then again how often do two-wheeled relationships fall over when they lose momentum? Without learning to ride properly, any relationship, no matter how many wheels there may be, can lead to scraped elbows and scuffed knees. It’s all a matter of getting back on the saddle, learning from your mistakes, and not wanting to give up.
Drive safely out there!
