UKs Largest Dating and Relationship Site For Older Women And Younger Man

If you’re looking to jump back into the dating world, why not try one of the most active and vibrant dating platforms? For over a decade, Toyboy Warehouse has been matching handsome younger men with mature women. From love, lust to romance, every dating style is catered for. Why not take a look and see for yourself?

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So let me set the scene for you.

My 20-plus-year marriage had ended, a lonely, passionless and pretty miserable final few years. No intimacy, no sex. I had turned into my great-aunt Maud, a dried-up old prune.

During this time I met a guy while taking a course. He was 10 years younger and charming. What followed was an intoxicating foray into text flirting—leaving me quite giddy with rapidly thawing frigidity and the profound realisation that I’d lived my previous 20 years in a sort of coma. That friendship, however, remained platonic.

The attitude of men my own age saddened me, and I became frustrated by their idea of foreplay (not to mention the postcoital narcolepsy five minutes later. So, I told myself, wasn’t it about time I did a little road testing of some younger models? (Purely in the name of market research, you understand…)

I had begun to realise that I’m a nonconformist—a rule-breaker and risk-taker… and, further, that I’m completely comfortable with my own nonconformity. I was 47, and it was about bloody time I celebrated the Rebel Rebel in me.

Around that time an acquaintance told me about a dating website called Toyboy Warehouse. She added that she couldn’t possibly sign up on that site because of insecurities about being overweight/out of shape/unfit/wrinkly/timid… I’ll bet you can already guess my response…

Where do I sign up?

It’s a curious old thing–the word cougar sounds rather threatening and predatory, don’t you think? Yet “threatening” and “predatory” are absolutely not words I would ever use to describe myself. So I was curious as I registered my details, a short, bio, my height, hair colour, AGE and other details, I signed up and held my breath! What world was I entering?

My girlfriends fell into two camps: those utterly horrified by what I was about to embark upon (secretly jealous I reckoned) and those who cheered me on and wanted all the details (maybe just a bit jealous but also excited about living vicariously through me)!

I joined the site because I like a dare!  I was looking for fun, flirting, sex, and education. What I did not expect was that great friendships would develop, along with a level of intimacy that I’d never before experienced before in my life. And, best of all, more attention, devotion and laughter than during two decades of marriage.

And the sex. Oh, the sex was extraordinary. Selfless and attentive and satisfying. You see, the reality is far from the cultural icon of Mrs. Robinson. In fact, the most likely scenario for a woman with a younger partner is that she has arrived at midlife having had a long long-term relationship, few sexual partners, several children, and a pretty boring sex life.

These young men are thrilled to be able to teach an older woman some new tricks!

Why do younger men date older women?

I was curious, so questioned these beautiful young men on their reasons for hanging out with an older woman. (The men I have met are on average 15 years younger than me)—and their answers were enlightening.

• Intelligent conversation
• Independent—An older woman doesn’t NEED a man to validate her existence
• Sexually more adventurous—and happy to try new things
• Sexy without even knowing it—comfortable in her own skin
• Accepting of her partner.
• All woman – the real deal….generally without silicon and self-obsessed grooming practices.
• Able to teach about relationships in a non-threatening way.

In the beginning I did begin a rendezvous by justifying myself, explaining that my body was not that of a 25-year-old; that I’d carried, given birth to, and nursed my children, blah, blah. And then a finger came up to my lips to silence all my disclaimers.

“Have you any idea how amazing I get to feel because YOU chose me?” was the response I got from one beautiful young man.

“I get to be myself with you,” he added. Good grief, I didn’t see that one coming. We get so caught up in our own insecurities about how we look that we lose sight of what’s really important, about who we are on the inside.  I found that in these nontraditional older-younger relationships, both my partner and I got to be who we really are—masks removed.

Ladies, don’t wait until you’re “perfect” before you get out there dating again. Get out there right away and do some exploring—you might just end up having the time of your life.

Haven’t tried Toyboy Warehouse for yourself? Join the Fun

Read more lessons about midlife in Rebecca’s book Best Knickers Always

The post Why I Choose To Date Younger Men appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

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1) Tell us a little bit about yourself, what brought you into the world of erotica?

I fell into writing erotic romance by chance. I’d just completed a creative writing course at Cardiff University, and saw a contest with LoveHoney to write an erotic piece of fiction. I was thrilled to win first place with MADAM PRESIDENT – a saucy tale about the first female president of the USA and the British PM (you can read it in Stories For When The Sun Goes Down). After that I wrote more erotic romance and was picked up quickly by Violet Blue to feature in Best Women’s Erotica 2010 – which even got a mention on Oprah Winfrey! – before progressing to longer pieces. My first novel was released in 2010 and since then I have written, and had published over 65 other pieces of work, many of which are full length novels. Writing has become a full time job for me and something I love very much.

2) What have you learnt in your time as an erotic fiction writer?

Before I started writing I was a registered nurse and worked in London. I spent most of my time in the accident department and thrived on the fast pace and the adrenaline. I also adored my colleagues and the satisfaction that came from helping people when they were vulnerable and in pain. Now I enjoy a slower pace of life. I have many hours on my own and I’ve learnt to be okay with that. I miss nursing but it wasn’t ever going to be a life long career for me for several reasons (twenty years was enough) and now, with a second chance at a job that allows me to indulge my creative side, I’m very happy. It’s a good place to be not least because my home is now Wales and I have amazing views from my small, top floor study.

3) Many other writers in your position struggle to get their work seen by a wider audience, what obstacles have you faced in your time?

There are many obstacles every step of the way. First and foremost the work you’re promoting has to be quality. By that I mean learn the craft. Many people have wonderful imaginations and talent for telling stories, but there’s a skill in putting it onto paper, and definite rules that publishers want adhered to. Once the work is out there, it’s important to do some promotion, of course it helps if the publisher is also on your side when it comes to marketing. Having a newsletter is a great way to keep readers who are fans of the genre up to date, and by giving out a free ebook to everyone signing up, it’s possible to let them sample your work. I give out a copy of SCORED, a super sexy sport themed erotic romance, to everyone that signs up to my newsletter.

4) What do family & friends think about your profession? Are they supportive?

I think it sneaked up on many of them. I use a pen name which only a few people in my ‘real life’ know, but all family and friends know I write and that when I’m immersed in a project I don’t tend to be very sociable. My husband is very supportive and always keen to help with research! He travels a lot on business, and while I used to hate that, now I look at it as quiet days with just my cat and dog and the space to write. I am of course very glad when he comes home.

5) Tell us about Toy Boy?

TOY BOY was great fun to write and as the words hit the page I was transported to Greece which is where I set this short novel. Several years ago we holidayed there and spent a week sailing around the islands. For as long as I live the colours of the sea and the sky and the beautiful white buildings will be with me. There is something magical about Greece and being out on a boat with turtles, dolphins and sunfish, then throwing anchor in a deserted cove and opening a bottle of wine to go with bread and cheese for lunch. I gave the characters all of this and more, it was the perfect place for a romance to blossom. I also enjoyed the dynamics of the older woman, younger man in the story and the fact it was her that needed persuading to give them a chance.

Getting something unexpected can be a shock, but it can also be a wonderful treat, if you allow yourself to indulge, that is.

Kay is bubbling with excitement. She’s booked a sailing holiday of a lifetime in Greece with a man she’s fallen for hook, line and sinker. They met on the Internet. She’s from Oxford, he’s from Washington State. She’s a business lecturer, he runs his own successful business.

They’re perfect for each other, and she can’t wait to meet him and spend time in and out of his bed, allowing him to seduce her for real and not just with softly spoken words over the telephone.

But when she arrives in the idyllic port of Fiscardo, she’s in for a shock. There’s a reason Sullivan’s photographs were grainy, and it’s not because he’s sporting a potbelly or balding as she’d suspected. It’s because he’s over a decade younger than her and could rival any Greek god in the looks department. What’s more, his sex appeal and lust for her is off the scale.

Should Kay take what she can with her ‘toy boy’ and have some fun in the sun or hop on the first plane back to England? It’s a tricky decision for a woman who believed she couldn’t be surprised by life anymore.

6) What advice do you have to people tempted to write erotic fiction but haven’t started yet?

As I said before, learn the craft, whether it’s an evening class, online class or something at the local college. You need to understand the process before you start. Then find yourself a friend/fellow author who has at least a smidgen of sensitivity and a whole lot of honesty, to share your work with. Opinions on the plot and characters are always best heard from a friend rather than a publisher or reviewer, it gives you a chance to fix any issues. Then be persistent. A successful author is one who hasn’t given up.

7) What does the future of erotic fiction hold?

It’s been a whirlwind for erotic romance and erotica these last few years. Fifty Shades of Grey’s success combined with the popularity of self-publishing means everyone is able to ‘give it a go’ independently. This has made it hard for readers to find quality material and also made them reluctant to spend their money when so many books are only 99c/99p or free. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for self-publishing and have several of my own books on that platform, I also have 99c/99p and free books (but only first in series) so readers can sample my work. But it’s not viable to produce quality books with quality editing and quality cover art and sell at that price. I hope that the genre continues to be popular, and that readers don’t become disillusioned if they pick up a few ‘bad’ books. There are many wonderful, talented authors out there, who, like me, are compelled to write, do so for a living. These authors create fantastic sexy characters for readers to fall in love with and beautiful storylines perfect for curling up with on cold winter evenings.

The post Toyboy Warehouse Interviews – Erotica Author Lily Harlem appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

International Clairvoyant & Psychic Janine Wilbraham

Location: Mid Wales

‘If you want to be told what you want to hear this lady is not for you’. That’s from a testimonial of one of Janine’s happy clients. So many clairvoyants see their work as simply making people feel good, appeasing to their own desires. Excellent clairvoyants challenge your preconceptions, take you out of comfort zone to face things you may feel nervous about facing. Our panel has judged Janine firmly in this category and that’s why she’s made our list.

Why stop at being psychic for humans? Janine also possesses the fantastic title of Animal Communicator. She has a renowned reputation of being able to communicate with horses, not to simply ‘tell what they’re thinking’ but rather as a means of healing and cementing the connection between animal and owner.

Janine’s latest book teaches how you can become an animal communicator too. Can You Hear Me? The Psychic Animal Communicator is available now, click here to get your copy.

Ask the Psychic – Joanna Scott

Location: East Midlands

What makes someone psychic? That’s a question our panel has wrestled with in their deliberations for this list. To them it’s a different way of thinking, being able to connect dots, linking yourself to someone else’s life and seeing how it’ll play out.

Joanna possesses this ability in spades.

For some of you, you may already recognise Joanna. She works on Psychic Today TV, offering advice and insights to thousands of people across the country. She offers 1:1 sessions in everything from tarot card readings, numerology, etc. She also conducts party bookings, email readings, phone readings and lots more. If it existed, she’d win the title of UK’s hardest working psychic.

Why else do we love her? Just like us she’s dedicated to finding you love. Her book The Love Key is the first book to combine psychic love advice with dating know-how. Helping you to use psychic intuition in your own dating experiences. You can get your own copy here.

International Psychic/Clairvoyant Raymond Worthy

Location: UK

With the suffocating quality of modern life, it can be difficult to see the wider meaning of the universe. With so many decisions, obstacles to our goals and negative experiences, happiness is sometimes a difficult thing to grasp. Raymond offers a revolutionary alternative through his ability to ‘speak with angelic insight’.

Raymond was nominated primarily because of the positive effect he has had on the lives of a number of individuals. He tries to clear the fog of busy, everyday life making it easier to see how you can reach your goals. Our panel also commend Raymond on his excellent reading accuracy.

Raymond offers expert email readings and attends loads of great events across the UK. You can find Raymond at the The Psyche Gold Halloween Psychic Fair on October 30th, 2016.

Psychic Caressa

Location: London and South East

For many individuals, the time when they see a psychic or clairvoyant is during a dark period in their life; maybe through grief, a personal struggle or any other significant problem. Caressa was nominated to our panel because of her fantastic work helping people during these dark times. Alongside an excellent clairvoyant and psychic service, she offers stress therapy and a number of life changing treatments. Caressa understands the therapeutic capabilities of her psychic work and how they can provide unbelievable results when combined with other treatments.

The panel also noted her work giving relationships advice and helping to achieve personal goals. All of which makes Caressa an excellent addition to our list.

You can get in touch with Caressa about her services by emailing [email protected].

London Psychic & Clairvoyant Sasha Bonasin

Location: London

Sasha offers one of the widest ranges of psychic services we’ve come across. Tarot cards, coffe cup readings, tea leaves readings, palm readings, spiritual healing, mediumship and more, Sasha offers it all.

That’s not to say with quantity comes a reduce in quality. Sasha works to understand you, your problems, your life, your energy, etc. and then finds the best service for you. He offers insight into your future, connection with the spirit world, as well assistance with your own psychic abilities. The panel commended Sasha on his versatility and accuracy across a wide range of specialisms.

You can get in touch with Sasha on [email protected] for his Skype and 1:1 readings. We especially like his emergency service which will connect you to Sasha within 1 day, something we haven’t seen before.

The post Psychics Near Me: The Best UK Psychics, Mediums & Clairvoyants 16/17 appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

From everyone at Toyboy Warehouse

We wish you a fantastic Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Here’s to even more love, lust and romance in 2016.

Toyboy Warehouse x

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FIRST dates are big, scary and unpredictable. Think job interview, only more personal if you’re rejected for the role. As it’s so intimidating, all that’s left to do is hide in a corner and pretend it’s not going to happen, right? Stop right there. As with all things challenging, taking a few simple but important steps can quickly make you feel more prepared, confident and date-ready.

Step One: Assess Your Online Presence

When we don’t know much about something yet, we Google. When we’re looking to find out more about a person, we Facebook. Assuming you use the web as much as anyone, within a few minutes I can probably learn your middle name, read your CV and check out the drunk photos you took last Saturday night. So making sure all social media reflect kindly on you will pay off when it comes to dating.

First impressions are made very quickly and they’re all about the visual (we’ll revisit this later) so make sure the first images and supporting information your date sees about you online is selling you. If in doubt, set it all to private. Also you might consider giving your date a quick Google to see what they’re about. This can be a good move and a bad one. If you decide to, DON’T quote their list of Likes back to them in person, but DO have a vague idea of what they might be interested in to direct conversation.

Step Two: Think Positive

A fun, positive attitude will get you a long way with the opposite sex, both pre-game and when you’re actually on the date.

Before: Following on from that visual first impression you made digitally, think of a nice outfit you can wear, perhaps buy something to give you that new clothes feeling, try a way of doing your hair that takes a little longer than usual and makes you feel more presentable – looking good means feeling good.

During: All pampered and glam now? Brilliant. Now there’s a good chance you’ll look happy. Smile plenty as it helps to establish rapport. Likewise, stick to nicer topics of conversation and don’t fall into the trap of rambling on about your patchy date history. The night is young, exes are irrelevant, so let yourself enjoy the moment.

Step Three: Establish Physical Contact Early

While physical contact can be very important for bonding in any relationship, if you’re going to be more than friends with your date then physical chemistry is key. For many, it’s the most important thing there is. It seems a little scary to initiate but it’ll do you both a favour to see whether their touch opens you up or sends you cringing away to the friend zone.

How to do it: For any men reading, lean in as you meet, plant a kiss on her cheek and touch her hand for just a second as you do it. Girls, initiate the same gesture and it will make you quite irresistible, men love a woman who can make the first move. And if you want something long term, make sure it doesn’t go much further than that.

Step Four: Relax

A bad first date is not the end of the world, it’s not even necessarily the end of the acquaintance. Speaking for myself, I once had a bad first date that led to an 18 month relationship. So remember you can’t have too many friends, that you learnt something from the experience, had a fun night out and there are plenty more fish in the sea etc., etc. Whichever cheesy philosophy you can handle, remind yourself there is at least an element of truth to it.

Whether relationships last one evening or twenty years, they all serve a purpose. That purpose can be long-term love or it can be a brief source of fun and entertainment. So relax and see where the date takes you.

The post The Girl’s Guide To Date Preparation appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

We’ve compiled a list of the most exciting romance and erotic novels we’ll be reading in 2016. Forget anything like ’50 Shades of Grey’, this is the ultimate countdown of the best erotic and romance novels you could possibly buy.

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Lost in his Eyes by Ginger Simpson

Despite dabbling in other genres, Simpson has always returned to the historical novel, and we’re grateful for it. Lost in His Eyes takes place in 1894 where everyday life isn’t all roses and smiles. Set in drought stricken Oklahoma, the battling natural forces that beset our love-stricken couple make for an enduring tale.

Where for some novelists the history genre may slow down the pace of their work, Simpson keeps the reader gripped with mystery and intrigue, all combined with a romance story that’s enjoyable and frustrating in equal parts. We follow Harlee Wagner, after an accident at the well she comes to find two things have changed. First, she’s now in the arms of a handsome hero. Second, her entire family is gone.

Purchase your copy here 

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Fully Involved (Uniformed and Smoking Hot 6) by Tonya Ramagos

Ramagos’ previous erotic fiction has given us a plethora of male leads whose gorgeous looks and steamy action make for a hot read. That’s not to say her female characters are airheaded or ditsy, their strong-willed personality allows us be engrossed in their love affairs without any guilt or hesitation.

It’s the ‘Uniformed and Smoking Hot’ series where we find Ramagos’ addition to our list. Fully Involved is the 6th in the series and makes our list of the Most Eagerly Anticipated Erotic and Romance Novels of 2016. The series follows the brave men and women of Cherish Fire Department, and it’s safe to say the fires being fought aren’t the only thing that’s smoking hot. Make sure to check out the others in the series including Tempted, Twisted and Taken, Under the Covers and Explosive Hearts. If you like the ‘Uniformed and Smoking Hot’ mini-series, you’ll be happy to hear the Uniformed and Blazing Hot has 7 more books all continuing the fiery love affairs of Cherish F.D.

Purchase Ramagos’s books here

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Sin Eater (Complete First Season): Dark Urban Fantasy Serial by Jessica West and P.K. Tyler

The ‘Sin Eater’ series has spanned a gruesome and trilling 7 books. The complete series, released in one edition, makes our list for the Most Eagerly Anticipated Erotic and Romance Novels of 2016.

The series follows Nikolai Grekh, the last Sin Eater. In a world consumed by evil demons, Nik must suffer through an endless war against sin. The sexiness varies across the series, with it being most prominent near the beginning. That’s not to its disadvantage however, the explosive characters never leave you feeling dull and bored, it’s very much the opposite!

In the first in the series we’re introduced to Nik’s world, the next 6 episode grip us with heart-wrenching surprises and excruciating cliff-hangers. It’s difficult to take a single episode into consideration, the story and building energy requires this series to be read in its entirety from the beginning. For this reason we’re including the soon-to-be-released series in our ultimate list.

Pre-order the full series here

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Make some love stories of your own, join the no.1 dating site for older women and younger men.

Shatter (Hard Hit Book 4) by Charity Parkerson

A striding force in gay male romance Charity Parkerson’s ‘Hard Hit’ series pits two men who against all odds experience passion and love. Shatter is the fourth in the series, followed by Collide, Blow and Thrash. The conflictual titles don’t just make for a dramatic introduction to the novel, they exhibit the colliding forces that each novel’s protagonists must endure. Nothing’s ever easy, whether they’re from different worlds or they’re completely different people, romance always seems just out of grasp – making it all the more satisfying when it’s finally reached.

Shatter is set to follow protagonists Alex and Gannon. The typical bad boy and good guy dichotomy, their love affair is tarnished by obstacles and secrets. As Parkerson asks ‘Will he fight one last time or let life shatter him again?’

Pre-order your copy here

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Kinky Sexy Dirty (Kinky Bastard Duet Book 1) by Christine Reiss

USA Today bestseller Christine Reiss or should we say C.D. Reiss. For readers looking to delve into Reiss’ work, the difference between the former and the latter is a kind indication to how dark the novel will be. If it’s written by C.D. Reiss (for example ‘The Submission Series’) it’s a lot darker than Christine’s work.

It may seem like that’s not an important point, but it is vital we understand. Reiss’ work, especially in the submission series, can be extremely dark. This equates to a gripping sexual thrill, be warned however, take a deep breath before delving in. Kinky Sexy Dirty, the first in the ‘Kinky Bastard’ series is lighter. It’s aim is to be sexy but not severe, the nail-biting is replaced with kink and fun. An interesting turn for Reiss, this is why Kinky Sexy Dirty is added to the list of Most Eagerly Anticipated Erotic and Romance Novels of 2016.

Pre-order your copy here

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Susana and the Scot (Untamed Highlanders) by Sabrina York

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Sabrina York brings us an enticing new read with Susana and the Scot. Set in the wild Scottish highlands among fearsome rippling warriors, protagonist Andrew Lochlannach is banished to the hinterlands. He’s unphased however, instead his eyes are set on the alluring Susana.

One of the great features of York’s previous work is the female characters. Headstrong and silver tongued they’re easy to root for, and we’re getting our pom poms out! Susana is set to be no exception, described as having ‘flaming red hair and a temper to match’.

Pre-order your copy here

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Illicit Temptation (Club Exotica) by Kate Allure

In true Toyboy Warehouse style, Illicit Temptation is about an older, successful woman. A high court judge and member of the queens council she falls for a younger, sexy barrister.

Allure has received a great attention from her previous books, with a number of publications giving positive reviews. Publishers Weekly described Lawyer Up as a novel with ‘intense chemistry, great characterization, and a kinky page-singeing ending will have readers clamoring for’. Library Journal described Allure’s work as ‘quick, easy reads [that] will appeal to anyone looking for a sexy book that they can put down and pick back up with no trouble. Fun, flirty characters abound, and there’s plenty of kinky action’.

Pre-order your copy here

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Submissive Seductions by Christine D’Abo

With over 30 publications to her name, Submissive Seductions is set to another sexy, kinky romp that develops into a genuine romantic story. The novel follows Liz, after purchasing a Dom from a charity auction she manages to live out her secret fantasy – to be submissive.

For D’Abo however, a thrilling sex-filled romance isn’t enough, similar to her other work Liz’s feelings transcend the sexual and become something more serious. D’Abo has previously been able to mix heart-wrenching emotion with fun, gripping sexual action – a task that is difficult to pull off. ‘30 Days’, one of D’Abo past novels, is a good example of this. As she wonderfully encapsulates the book is ‘saucy, heartwarming, and insightful, [it] explores the agony—and the ecstasy—of starting over, and how a little encouragement, and a little courage, can go a long way’.

Pre-order your copy here

The post The Most Eagerly Anticipated Romance and Erotic Novels of 2016 (Part 1) appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

I hear from other women who date younger men that they often stay attracted to a particular age group, and this whole issue of attraction renders me curious.

I’m fairly fixed in my habit of dating younger men, and have pretty well accepted that, as it’s been the case for almost 20 years now. Personally, I’ve never been drawn to really spectacular age differences, although I have nothing against it. Obviously, I wouldn’t be a member of this website if I did! The age gap I feel comfortable with is around 10-18 years and it seems to be pretty fixed.

In my 30s, I was dating men in their 20s and as I became older, so did my dates. At every stage, I’ve appreciated different things about my partners.

Now, I notice my attraction is definitely shifting to ‘older’ men. Although I enjoy looking at younger guys, it’s more an artistic, distant enjoyment than a lust thing. No, the men who really fire me up these days are definitely more rugged, with ‘lived-in’ faces and bodies. Oh, my crushes are still much younger than I am, but I am definitely looking at the odd grey hair and laughter line with a real sense of appreciation, hoping for a mature outlook. In fact, I would say I am now looking out for these signs of maturity.

So what’s going on? Is the ‘age gap attraction’ going to continue to be fixed for me, or is it really on the move in a spectacular way? I have no idea, but it will be interesting! Those elusive qualities of compatibility and chemistry still need to be present, whatever mysterious changes are occurring.

Anyway, are there any men in their 40s out there, who still fancy older women? You know who you are! (Having said that, a 30-something with a mature outlook might do just as well…)

The post Age-Gap Dating: Fixed or flexible? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

As we approach All Hallow’s Eve and the witching hour, I thought I would reflect upon an ancient concept, one which although archaic, is is still held sacred by some today.

Sex Magic (or Magick) however it may be spelled, is the idea that there is a special power attached to the primal sex drive and act. Sexual activities, orgasms and carnal pleasures can lead to the production of magical energy, which some believe can be used cast spells and forge concrete changes in the real world. Another aspect of this is Tantric yoga, which centres around the power of sex to release and develop the consciousness- awareness of the hidden world surrounding us. All of these beliefs possess their own special rituals and exercises for devotees to practice. However curious about these matters, I am no expert and lack any experience of such incidents. Having said that, I do find the idea of such a phenomenon as magical sex to be extremely compelling!

We are certainly exposed to many instances of the dark power of sex, in art, drama and documentary, but little of the other side, the working of that forge smelting fire and light which occurs with really satisfying sexual encounters.

Sexual energy is such a natural, mystical, overpowering force with its own peculiar momentum, dynamic and occult features. Only suppose that every time we were in a sexual encounter, we gave ourselves to each other and the experience utterly? If only we could set aside equivocation, anxieties and other worldly intrusions to breathe a purer air, free of distraction, full of sensation and nothing else? Imagine if we could abandon self-consciousness and replace it with absorption in the other, finding in mutual trust and abandonment a new power and liberation? Who knows what powers of nature would be set loose to forge irreversible change in our lives?

That, to me, is what ‘Sex Magick’ is fundamentally about, the potential of sex for positive, constructive change. I hope you all find some of your own this Hallowe’en!

The post Halloween: Sex Magick appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

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I didn’t always want to date toyboys. In fact, after my marriage broke down, inviting attention from younger men was the last thing on my mind…

After my divorce, I felt lumpy, bereft, and worthless. But for the sake of the outside world I was consumed with keeping up appearances. The brave face I kept throughout the divorce and settlement meant everything to me. With our family falling apart, I felt I had to keep everything in our home together, running on track, just as normal.

It didn’t appeal to be set up on dates and introduced to single men through friends because I didn’t need a man, or a partner, not even a dog really. I was sure I was fine. Companionship was for people with more time and more emotional needs. Because despite being single, I had everything I needed for company in my daughter, after all. And she would always come first in my lifestyle.

Then my daughter went away to University.

It may not seem that important but as I write this line it carries the emotional weight of what became a pivotal moment in my life. My child was gone, dramatic pause, end of sentence. And she really was gone, as I knew her. She wasn’t my little girl anymore but a grown woman. She still needed me but not in the same way as before. It was then I realised how much I’d always relied on her, her strength and her beauty, as inspiration to go about my everyday life.

So I got a little bit lazy for a while. I stopped taking proper care of my house as it was only me in it. I started eating more, watching more television, socialising less. It took me a very long time to realise it, perhaps because I wasn’t fully aware of it myself, but realised later that during this time I was crying at night – every night. And for the second time in my life I felt abandoned.

It would hurt my daughter a lot to read that, which makes me feel guilty to say it because I’m very happy she lives her life as she wishes, studying and travelling, that’s what I want for her. But for a while I stopped living my own life at all and descended into a state of deep sadness.

A small development at work jolted me back to life again.

As the Outreach Manager for a large Trade Union I’d always felt a sense of purpose from my career, helping people with complicated problems and standing up for important public issues. A promotion made me feel in charge again and I decided to make the most of my moment of increased confidence and join a local gym, something I always wanted to do but felt intimidated by. Soon, working out gave me a powerful outlet for my emotions and the residual stress I had built up over the years. And it goes without saying that my 25-year-old, stunningly gorgeous gym instructor did not hurt this little period of increased optimism either.

Giggling about how cute he was with a girlfriend of mine, she suggested maybe I had a thing for younger men. This didn’t make any sense to me at first, as my husband was actually 12 years older than me. And don’t we all admire beautiful people, whatever their age?

“You need that thingy,” she chuckled, a little tipsy on our favourite Chianti. “That thing the woman on Channel 5 last night said she uses – the Toyboy House.”

“What is a toyboy house?” I asked, envisioning something somewhere between a strip club and a dolls house.

She replied: “Well, it’s not a house, it’s a dating thing, for single older women who like younger men.”

“What on earth.”

I wondered what she took me for, but before I had chance to ask this question she had catch-up TV on and was proudly showing me a previous episode of Channel 5’s Age-Gap Love. I looked for the mischievous glint in her eyes that would tell me this was all a joke but she watched me intently as I discovered that Toyboy Warehouse was not a ‘Toyboy House’ after all, but a dating site for older women and younger men.

“And what do you want me to do this with this information?” I asked.

“Stop drooling over your gym instructor and start dating hot younger guys who see older women for more than just a weekly workout. Or, you know, for a workout of another kind.” It was time to send her home. So that’s what I did.

Then I booted up my laptop.

“Hmm… Toyboy – what was it…” at first I typed Warhorse. A mistake I’ve made about eighty times since. It must be part of a latent desire to learn more about the uses of animals in warfare. But thank you Google, for always being there to find my intention when my typing skills just don’t cover it.

A few clicks later and I became Rebecca42…

… divorced, looking for men in the Brighton & Hove area. For the more observant among you, you caught me, I used a false name at first. But I wasn’t committed yet. What if someone I knew was a member and recognised me? What if no one on here looked like my gym instructor? These horrors plagued me as I lost my online dating virginity.

It’s a cliché but I was bombarded with messages from the get go. Some a little too saucy, some not saucy enough, but one from a 29-year-old living in a village near enough to my own was just right. He shared my love of Anne Rice novels (they’re serious vampire books, for those of you among the Twilight Generation who still think vampires glitter) and believed in taking a stand for public causes.

We went for our first date to a picket-line protest. He was insanely hot, passionate (which made him even hotter) and – the one thing that’s always truly thrown me head over heels for a man – he challenged me constantly during our discussions.

We talked at length about worldly issues, he told me about the environmental problems the world was facing and how he was working towards fixing energy problems in a third world country as his phD thesis project. I told him about my life experiences, of the places I’d visited, a few of which I would revisit with him during our relationship.

Recently I ended it. Not because what we shared wasn’t real and didn’t matter to me, but because he wanted something serious.

Dating him had reminded me to love myself again, as I saw myself through his eyes, as a beautiful, confident, mature woman with a lot to offer to anyone. This has helped me discover a new main priority in my life – myself. Yes he was breath-taking, our time together was magnificent, but I’m making time for the real love of my life, one I intend to spend a lot more time looking after. That’s a full-time occupation, after all. So if I happen to meet lots of sexy younger men along the way, well, there’s no harm done is there?

And for the future? Watch this space.

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