Why All My Girlfriends Are Older

Why have all my girlfriends been older then me?

This is a question that only recently surfaced to the fore following the end of a brief but memorable relationship with a woman several years my senior.  I don’t consider myself as much of a spring chicken (I’m 34) anymore.  Then again I recall a time when I thought turning 25 signalled the end of the world for me.  And according to my ex girlfriends and many women who are older then me, I am still but a mere pup.  So when I started dating Madeline (my latest ex) it was nice to hear her compliment me on how young I seemed.

I don’t think I look that young anymore, but Madeline said it wasn’t just that.  According to her it was the energy, passion and banter I had whilst we were dating that caused her to like me so much.  Okay, just for the record I’m well aware I’m not Captain Perfect.  I know I can be a complete idiot when it comes to women and dating and I’m also aware that I still have a lot to learn about myself before I hopefully settle down.  Nevertheless Madeline’s remarks put a huge grin on my face and made me like her even more.

It wasn’t just the sex with her that was great (although that was pretty spectacular), but her ability to just be completely comfortable with herself around me.  That I found was the key in attracting me. There were no airs or graces. She had no problem walking around in her dressing gown with her hair tied up in a scrunchie in front of me – and that was before we went out on our second date. When we got back later that night, it was so easy just to fall into each other’s arms that I wasn’t once nervous about making a move. I just felt completely comfortable doing it.

The Younger Less-Experienced Woman

My encounter with Madeline shares one common denominator with all of my ex-girlfriends who were older then me; they have all been totally comfortable with themselves and who they are. This is in stark contrast to the majority of my dating experiences with younger women.

A good case example is when I dated a girl ten years my junior – I was 32 she was 22. At first I couldn’t help thinking “Oh yeah!  I’m the King! Getting it on with a nubile hot 22 year old. Check me out?!” However even though Cecily was a complete nymphomaniac, she was also a complete child emotionally. The moment I postponed one date because I had to work (I’m a writer we keep odd hours sometimes), I was bombarded with text messages demanding to know why, and was I sleeping with someone else?  I’m a bit crap when it comes to handling emotionally unstable people so you can imagine how amazing I was at responding to Cecily.

I was useless not to put too fine a point on it.

I tried to explain that I was busy and that I would see her next week, but she wasn’t having any of it. She then sent me a long stream of texts the following day saying “We really needed to talk” and she “needed to tell me something important”. I got really worried she was going to drop a pregnancy bombshell (which would have been a first as I always use condoms unless I’ve been going out with someone for a long time and we’ve both talked about unprotected sex first – check me out being all grown up and responsible!), or reveal that she had an STD (arrggggh!).  But no, all she wanted to do was to cry at me, try and make me jealous by telling me that she had almost slept with another bloke at a party because I cancelled on her and basically employ a wide selection of emotional blackmail to convince me to drop everything and see her right there and then.

Needless to say I was terrified and ended things as amicably as I could…over the phone.  What?  You think I was going to meet up with her after that?

It’s what attracts all of us to one another at the end of the day.

The moral of my story

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that from my own personal experience, women can be just as childish and emotionally retarded as men can…particularly when we have limited sexual and relationship experience. Both young men and young women can be equally mature and equally idiotic. I have learnt there is no gender stereotype to apply here, we are all older and wiser when dating in our mature years.

What I have learned is that the older the woman I go out with… 9 times out of 10 the more emotionally stable and happy she is in herself. It’s what attracts me to her. It’s what attracts tons of men to her!

Hell…it’s what attracts all of us to one another at the end of the day.