Can a toyboy really just be friends with a woman? Among most men, the usual reply to this question will be a firm ‘no.’
Let’s face it, this is pretty bad news for women. Especially if your toyboy claims to have lots of these friends.
But I personally feel that this way of looking at things is too simplistic. Humans are a complicated lot, so why should this question be answered simply? There are a number of circumstances where a toyboy can participate in the male-female friendship zone, it’s just about being able to identify what these circumstances are.
So, here are a few signs to help you decide whether or not your toyboy’s girl-friends are a potential threat to your relationship.
1. What’s his experience like?
I mention this, as being a (kind of) young guy I’m aware of the male tendency to think with something other than our heads. A young man is less likely to look beyond attraction, sexual desire seems to come before the more important stuff like compatibility.
I think a big argument against whether guys can have girl-friends comes down to the matter of attraction. Men don’t have any issue being friendly with women they don’t find attractive. A pretty crude way of putting it, but that’s the reality. If a man does find his friend attractive, and wants to sleep with her, then given the opportunity, he likely will.
But is this really the case? Soon enough this sexual mentality becomes tiresome. So, If your toyboy isn’t lacking in experience, then he’ll likely look to women as a romantic prospect.
For example, I’ve got a few attractive friends but I don’t want to date any of them. I prefer them as friends and know that I can (just about) tolerate their irritating habits as a friend only. What’s more, I’m not even going to kid myself that they would want to date someone as frustrating as me (I’m the sort of person who rustles popcorn in the cinema).
If your toyboy has experience of this kind then he’s likely not interested in his girl-friends. Sure he might find them attractive, but he’s probably decided that, romantically speaking, they’re not compatible with him.
2. What’s his self-confidence like?
Remember that ‘friend’ of the opposite sex who maintained he wasn’t interested? You know, the same one who later confessed his undying love for you and said that every night he lies on his bed and…Yeah that one. Truth is, we’ve all had moments where someone unexpected has crossed the friendship line. If you haven’t, then you’ve likely just been fortunate enough to forget.
Men who lack self-confidence normally adopt this approach. Why? Because usually they’re not great at expressing their true intentions. Instead, they act like a friend hoping that one day their relationship will blossom into romance.
Rarely does this tactic go to plan.
A toyboy who is comfortable with himself is therefore likely to be upfront with a woman from day one. By understanding himself he’ll deal with rejection better, so the prospect of opening up from the offset isn’t nearly as daunting. If your toyboy is self-confident and has lots of girl-friends, chances are then that he’s not romantically interested.
3. Is he happy?
When you’re in a happy relationship, not much beats it. Your toyboy won’t be looking elsewhere, as he knows his cougar is
taking care of everything. What would be the point in him ruining this relationship for one night?
I’m sure you’re aware of the flip side of this though. If he’s missing that element of romance with you, then he may be inclined to seek comfort elsewhere. But don’t get me wrong – I’m by no means saying all toyboys are cheats!
What can be made of all this? Well simply put, the more your toyboy seems to be possessing these qualities of experience, self-confidence, and happiness in a relationship, the more likely he’s going to be able to keep girls as ‘just friends’.
