What is it that people want when they are looking for that particular brand of age-gap love where she is older than him, whether that’s by 5 years or 35 years? Here are 5 suggestions:
1. The Great Romance.
For the folk who want to be truly, madly, deeply, soulfully in lust but are not ready for the boring aspects of anything steady. This is the couple who want to block out the rest of the world, enjoy the glorious passion and intensity of new love without the dampener of commitment. This couple can spend long weekends in the bedroom, or any other room, living on adrenaline alone. This is a love affair they will remember all their lives.
2.The Hit and Run.
The people who are after ‘hook ups’, casual sex, something temporary and transient. This is for the ladies of a certain age who committed to marriage or a partnership perhaps too young, missed out on fun and often had their hearts broken relatively late on. It’s also for the boys who want as much libidinous experience as they can find, without the bother or expense of romantic illusion, with someone who knows what they are doing. It seems to me that this is where the largest age gaps occur. What does it matter if the two never meet again? That, after all, was the intention.
3. The Lovers.
These folk are looking for someone warm and compatible, wanting to enjoy the moment with someone very special but they are not interested in anything too serious. They are just not ready or willing for anything long term…yet. They want tenderness, understanding, someone to talk to and share activities with. They quite enjoy being out in public with one another. It’s similar to ‘friends with benefits’, except the ‘friends’ aspect is more prevalent than the ‘benefits’. Sometimes this can evolve into ‘the great romance’ or even ‘the long haul’.
4. The Long Haul
This is for those wanting a long-term relationship, to settle down, to marry and/or have children. These people are rare and perhaps with the narrowest age gaps of all, but the courageous man who desires such a relationship has normally realised that an older woman who shares his desire is better at seeing the bigger picture and more easy-going than his contemporaries.
5. The Adaptable.
Age-gap daters of the toyboy/cougar variety do seem a particularly unconventional group, and they demonstrate this heterogeneity in a variety of ways. There are those who are quite content to begin in one of the above categories and move into one or several of the others. Then, there are those who invent their own unique category!
Whatever you’re looking for, if using online dating, it would seem highly prudent to read and digest profiles, to be clear about what the other person wants, before making that first contact!
