Texting, like sex on a first date, is a very delicate matter when you’re at the beginning of a new relationship. It’s easy to overkill by textual harassment i.e. sending repeated messages without waiting for the requisite reply. And when they do reply, this raises the question: how soon, if at all, to reply to the reply?
Immediately is too keen; four hours later…and the moment has passed. He’ll have forgotten what he said and yours will seem like a new text to him, thus breaking the Never Text Him First rule. The optimum delay between receipt and reply is between four and twenty-two minutes, especially if there’s a tease involved which requires a cute answer.
How and when to end this dialogue is another issue: it’s very tempting to go on and on and still finish with ‘Bye’ or ‘Sleep well’ or ‘See you later’ none of which are necessary. By not having the last word, you actually earn yourself a credit which means that IF you need to contact him again, you are in fact one text in hand and not texting him twice running.
A late night sexy text from him can be totally disregarded in romantic terms as he’s probably drunk and possibly w*nking. This comes under the heading ‘I really, really love you’ – what men say to each other at times of maudlin inebriation, or when England have just won the World Cup.
Kisses are another issue. Never x him until he x-es you first. If he sends you one x, send him one back. This dosage may be increased at the texter’s discretion depending on the dynamic of the relationship. Never send him a line of XXXXXXXXX unless he’s just asked you to meet him inside the Cartier shop to look at engagement rings.
To summarise:
Always wait for him to text first.
Don’t be too eager to reply.
Keep it short, sweet and funny.
Never text twice without an acknowledgement in between.
If you simply have to see your msg in print, write it and send it to your best friend. That way you’ll have employed your idle thumb, had the satisfaction (or sinking horror) of seeing the Message Sent symbol on your screen, yet still preserved your cool unavailability.
Wendy Salisbury aka Poshbird is the author of ‘The Toyboy Diaries’ available on Amazon and at all good bookshops.
