Amy Webb, in writing for CNN about her experience with online dating, has come up with some pointers to maximise one’s online profile, and these work. She should know – she painstakingly devised algorithms (which you don’t have to), and is now married to someone she met online!
Here’s what she says – let us know what you think in the comments:
1. Use aspirational language. Keep language aspirational, positive and optimistic. Talk in generalities about your hopes, dreams and passions, as long as those things are not controversial. Keep your tone conversational and light.
2. Write succinctly. Keep your profile short but pithy. Aim for between 90 and 100 words, which works out to about three sentences. Choose your words carefully. If you’re not a good writer, figure out the keywords and points you need to make, then ask a friend to help you out.
3. Use amazing photos. Photos should focus on your waist up, unless you have amazing legs. Then it’s OK to include one or two full-body shots in your gallery. The majority of your photos should be closer up, highlighting your face. Make eye contact with the camera. Don’t stage a smile. Instead, try to laugh just before the shot is taken.
4. Don’t try to be funny. If you want to use humor, write whatever you’re planning to say down and show it to some friends or co-workers. Have them read it aloud. With your tone of voice and inflection, it may be hilarious—but out of your friend’s mouth it may fall flat or even be offensive.
5. Don’t use specifics. Avoid mentioning specific comedians, shows, books, musicians or movies unless those are top-tier attributes on your list. It’s possible to be generic about what you like while still being specific enough to sound interesting. Just because you like Louis C.K. or Larry David doesn’t mean that a potential suitor does. Unless that comedian is one of your deal-breakers, leave him or her off your profile.
6. Avoid controversy. If you think there’s something about what you’ve done in life that may be controversial or open for interpretation in a way that disadvantages you, then leave it off. I’m talking about political or activist work here, not things like jail time.
7. Downplay your accomplishments (but only initially). Women: if you’ve won a Pulitzer or climbed Mount Everest or for some reason own a jet, this is wonderful news—just don’t share it online. These are the types of details to work into a conversation on your first or second date. If someone introduced himself to you at a party, would the next thing out of your mouth be items off your CV? Of course not, so don’t act that way online. Most people don’t want to see a list of what you’ve done unless they’re hiring you for a job.
8. Flirt wisely. Be careful while flirting online, since it’s easy to sound too aggressive too soon. The best way to flirt is to care deeply about whatever your date is saying and to focus all of your attention on him or her. We’re flattered when people throw attention our way. So ask thoughtful questions. Take a keen interest in the conversation. Be enthusiastic. If you wouldn’t use your cheesy line in person, don’t use it digitally.
9. Use the 20 hour rule. If someone instant messages you while you’re online, go ahead and IM back if you want. Otherwise, wait 20 to 23 hours between e-mail contacts for the first few messages. I found that successful daters waited that amount of time and as a result still seemed eager without coming off as desperate.
10. Don’t act like a stalker. Avoid sending any messages while most people are sleeping, even if you’re wide awake. Shoot for business hours or just after dinnertime.
You can read the full article here
