Not the 80’s hits from UB40 or Hue & Cry I’m talking about the similarities between getting an interview and a date on the Internet (or newspaper ad)
So why are you after partner/job?
Well it’s either because you haven’t got one or the one you have is going to see you on anti-depressants very soon, if not already.
So where do you look?
People after people they usually let it be known. The queue to the till may look like a 1970s ‘Labour isn’t working poster’, the person isn’t wearing a wedding/engagement ring but it doesn’t mean they have a “vacancy”. So you’re down to newspapers and increasingly the Internet. So how do you go about finding what your ideal other half/job? Be clear about what you may actually want, assuming you even know. Are you after a permanent job/life-long soul mate? Something fixed term up to 2 years before progressing on or just a quick fling/bit of temporary/casual work to pay for your holiday/accompany you do the work’s Christmas do?
How far are you prepared to travel is another question.
Is the workplace/person within travelling distance? Can you get to them without a comfort break in a least 2 service stations, changing trains 3 times or needing to set off at 4am to get there by sunset? If the answer is no this ain’t gonna get off the ground.
Do you have any existing outside work/relationship commitments?
Don’t say you can do weekend/evening work if you have caring responsibilities or study after 5.30pm. It’s pointless applying as a youth worker if you can only work 9-5 Mon-Fri. Likewise you want someone to travel/club/act on the spur of the moment with it won’t work if they need to plan in advance, can’t be out later than midnight or away from home more than a couple of days.
Candidates do however need to be aware that often the advertiser hasn’t got a clue what they want doing, by whom or what they want the end result to be.
“Advertisers”. Show yourself in the best light however make sure a photo is not so airbrushed that when you turn up your date says “sorry I’m waiting for someone”. Ensure the photo reflects the real you. If outside work you look like Siouxsie Sioux/Manics circa 1994 a photo of you taken at a conference will get you winks from people that are likely not to interest you and likewise give them one hell of a shock if they meet you (I say ‘If’, well this is TBW). Oh yes, recent photos as in the last year rather than decade. It may be a nice photo but whilst age may not weary the dead those of us yet to depart this mortal coil are gonna get and look older each year so accept it.
So onto applying for a job/getting a date (or even a wink back)
Look at the advert job title/photos. Appeal to you, right salary/age, geographical location OK then read further/click on the profile. And I mean READ. Most have at SOME basic idea of what they’re after so make sure you can meet some of the criteria before sending a wink, card or message. A director placing an ad in The Stage for the lead role in a show about Sammy Davis JR won’t go beyond the photo of some 6’4” Grant Mitchell lookalike.
So onto applying for the job/sending a message
Would you apply for a job along the lines of “Gr8 job, check me out on MSN” No! So why think someone you’re making initial contact with will take your message beyond that of the delete button? Comment on something in their profile or if you see you have similar interests. The potential date knows their profile’s been read, you can read and have comprehension skills beyond thinking no equals yes and yes means gagging for it. Also it shows that it isn’t a speculative one that’s been sent to most of the Northern hemisphere.
Now sometimes from profile and message you may be straight onto a date. However those who’ve caught your eye may wish to do a bit of Shortlisting. The dating equivalent of a psychometric test by getting to know someone via MSN/text even CHAT. Don’t therefore blow it by asking “When do we f***?” “Are you into …/do you do cam?” or sending MMS pics of your particulars. We’ll f*** when the time feels right, you’ll find out what we’re into as you get to know us in the flesh rather than on a 0.3 megapixel webcam and even the largest of mobile screens won’t do your attributes justice.
One more thing … Accept people mislead if not necessarily lie. OK, everyone exaggerates a bit e.g. being in management in a global enterprise could translate as being duty manager on a Friday night at MacDonald’s. Men will always add 2 inches to their height (amongst other things) and 5’7” women never seem to think they’re any taller than 5’5”
So onto the interview/date
• Turn up on time or at least turn up on the right day at the right place
• No shocks. Resemble the person that got the original wink.
• A consultant trying to woo a client pays, do the same on a first date, they wish to go Dutch not be seen as taking liberties/giving out false hope
• You let the interviewer/s extend their hand to shake yours first. Same rules for a date. DON’T PAW unless they make the first contact.
• Don’t ask personal questions. If they want to volunteer stuff they will.
You may get “employed” straight away but if it’s not a case of boardroom to bedroom ask if another date is likely. Don’t be upset if they don’t yes straight away. You often have to sleep on it overnight.
Yes you may need a job/the financial rewards it brings but do you want just any job? What may be great in the advert may not be so in the flesh. You have equal right to decline… you’re unlikely to have been the only candidate so don’t feel too bad
Anyone for self-employment?
By Dorothy AKA Thirteenfiveseventy
