HALLO BOYS!
Are you ready for your Chemistry lesson?
It has come to my attention that some of you are arriving in class (or on a date) sporting nothing more than that dangly thing between your legs believing it will guarantee you Access All Areas.
Although the End of Term Exams are getting easier with more of you attaining ‘A’ grades in many subjects, the hardest pass to achieve is a degree in Chemistry.
Back in the ‘50s, Sam Cooke wrote a song which went:
‘Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Don’t know much about the French I took…’
He didn’t mention Chemistry but he jolly well ought to have, for that is what makes the world go round: it’s the lace on the lingerie, the cream in the coffee, the frisson that makes this game we’re all playing worthwhile.
So what exactly is Chemistry? It’s the message received by two brains on first connection which presses our primal instinct buttons. It’s the pheromone you smell when you kiss that person hallo. It’s wondering how soon you can stop talking and start touching. It’s the yearning to see them again the minute you’ve said goodbye. It’s lust, it’s infatuation, it’s a joyous, palpitating promise of wonderful things to come. But it cannot be felt all alone – that’s just a fancy. Chemistry has to be a two-way street.
I firmly maintain that you know if the Phwooaar! Factor is present or not the nanosecond you set eyes on someone. You may have got on brilliantly by email, text, msn and phone but it will all be dashed against the rocks of reality if the Chemistry isn’t there.
Some people say that Chemistry can grow, but with the best Will in the world (and you were lovely, Will…) I don’t believe that. It’s either there or it isn’t. A date without Chemistry is like champagne without caviar, an éclair without chocolate, a Cup Final without a goal. It is the foundation a future can be built on, the essential sensation necessary before any encounter, however brief, can progress.
The sad fact is Chemistry is elusive. Boys may buy girls elaborate cocktails, send them flowers, cook them meals, flatter them silly, stand on their heads and juggle, go down on one knee, simply Go Down… if there ain’t no Chemistry, there ain’t gonna be no party.
Girls can flutter their eyelashes, squeeze his thigh, listen enraptured to all his stories, buy him so many drinks he begins to believe she could be The One…but come the dawn… no Chemistry… no cigar.
Some of you may disagree with me. Maybe Chemistry can grow but I still believe you need the seed. Luckily we have a great big garden in TBW to choose from. So if his or her photo doesn’t appeal but the chat rings your bells, give each other a chance (I really need to listen to my own advice!)
You never know… Look at Beauty and the Beast, Quasimodo and Esmeralda, King Kong and Ann Darrow …who’d have thought it, but it worked for them!
Wendy Salisbury is the author of ‘The Toyboy Diaries’ available at all good bookshops and on Amazon. Launching in the USA next month.
Check out her blog www.thetoyboydiaries.blogspot.com for the sequel entitled ‘The Daily Male’.
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