They say, “Pride goeth before a fall.” True enough. But you know what “pride” also likes to get its egocentric self mixed up in? Rejection. That’s right. You know the kind; she’s plainly not interested or he’s performed the old Indian Rope Trick and vanished into thin air etc. And guess what, “Face, bovvered?”
Sadly it seems that for many, well yes…
Oh I can speak from experience here. I invented “you know who” precisely because rejection was starting to get to me. But I had the choice of continuing to just blame it all on my debilitating shyness and humdrum mediocrity, or embark upon some drastic but positive alter(ego)ation. Actually around the same time my best pal Joe was also smarting over the fact his progressive obesity was (if you’ll pardon the obscure pun) really getting in the way of his formerly sure-fire pulling power; like when the line, “I’ve never kissed a Hungarian,” received from the said Budapest beauty in question both a sympathetic pat on his tummy and a rather sharp riposte of, “Vell you von’t unless you lose that either darlink.” Harsh, and not exactly fair; however it did spur him on to take up jogging and now just a few years later he’s engaged!
Indeed there’s a great song on this subject by ex Mott The Hoople frontman Ian Hunter entitled “Irene Wild” where a hopeful teenage guy, who’s been coolly dismissed by the drop dead gorgeous girl he adores, vows to “be somebody some day”, and so ends up a pin-up rock star no less; the moral of that neat little ballad being “…and I think most folks agree, a little put-down makes them see they ain’t no chain – just a link…” In other words, it’s not so much rejection that’s the problem but rather how you handle it.
Merely bewailing your pain, anger, frustration and indignity is decidely not the way to handle it. Okay we all like a whinge, and we’re all allowed a bad day, a shoulder to cry on or a of spot gender-bashing. We’re human. We bitch, we moan, we sulk and moan some more. You’ve seen it the forums, the soaps, the magazines, the movies etc; and God we love it! However those who have to constantly put up with it don’t necessarily love it as much. So whilst the truest of friends might never shirk from solidarity, sooner or later you’re sounding like a broken record. And to be honest, it’s just not attractive is it.
Worse so many of us seek the illusion (or b******s) of what we call “closure”. In fact this usually takes the form of either mailing or messaging some sort of pseudo-smart rebuttal to allegedly make us feel better for all of thirty seconds or else a vitriolic unleashing on the rejecting (and by now probably disinterested) party which merely demonstrates how “bovvered” you really are. For instance another friend of mine, after a recent and rather messy break-up, ranted down the phone at his latest ex and, as is so often the case during such rants, made it abudantly clear he never wanted to see or speak to her again. But of course they did later speak, whereupon she remarked on her apparent excommunication by simply stating that, “When I heard all that, it just told me how much you really cared.” So that worked well then.
Look being rejected, and for whatever reason, isn’t nice, isn’t pleasant and sometimes isn’t fair. I mean if you’ve been cheated on or ignored or lied to etc, you and your pride (and remember much of the time it is just your pride) have every right to feel a little (or a lot) hurt; and it can effect one’s confidence and self-esteem too. So what do you do to “pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start all over again”? Well. Precisely that actually.
I mean those old addages “you gotta kiss a few frogs”, “plenty more fish” and “every kettle has its lid” might indeed be more than a little well-heeled but they’re a far better way of looking at things than always citing fickle fortune and fate for nobody wanting you etc. Plus there’s nothing wrong with saying (andjust to yourself only), “Hey it’s their loss” – because you know what, maybe it is too. So poor them. Losers! Giggle. There, that’s an improvement already isn’t it. And hey guess what else, if they weren’t right then maybe, just maybe, there’s someone far nicer, cooler, sexier waiting for you instead; meaning you’ve got that to look forward to too. So hell, this is getting even better. What an escape you just had. Phew!
Face still “bovvered” then? Nah…
By Bastian Dash
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