Living, as I do, by the ‘No Expectations, No Disappointments’ edict, I always expect the next date, or even the next text, to be the last. But my…er…my current…relation… – no, let’s call it ‘friendship – seems to be going on and on! You see, we manage to connect on a variety of different levels: intellectually, comedically, nutritionally, religiously, and politically.
You might, however, have noticed that I’ve left out one very crucial connection in my description of our association: the element about which I am prone to crow, gush and blah on about loudly and explicitly most of the time. So am I not commenting on it because it’s so mind-blowingly-off-the-scale- fantabulastic that I don’t want to share it with anyone but him and my “Whoops! they’re-on-the-floor-again” pillows, or am I resisting discussing the subject because frankly, although it’s good, it’s not quite good enough?
And if you connect on all the former levels, how important is the latter? (Carrie Bradshaw moment…)
I walked out of my first marriage because everything was fine except the sex. I rushed into my second marriage because the sex was awesome and therefore unsustainable. So what is really important in a relationship? A comfortable melange, methinks. If all you want to do is gnaw each other’s flesh off but when you’re sated you have nothing much to talk about, that ain’t gonna work long-term, is it? But if you drift towards the boudoir while still deep in conversation, does that mean you don’t really fancy each other?
Current Squeeze and I have actually stopped mid-sexual stream to chat about something completely unrelated to the task at hand. Does this means our brains are not fully engaged in whatever our bodies are doing? Or does it mean that we are so homogenized that we can morph between thought and sensation in one seamless move? For now, I shan’t question it any more. I’ll just enjoy it and go with the flow.
On a totally unrelated matter, I often wonder if I’m having more fun that my daughters. I certainly think I’m having more sex. They’re both married with 2.5 children so they’re hardly likely to be feeling flirty, flighty and fabulous wearing old track suit bottoms with a baby on each hip and a husband who’s turning the house upside down ‘cos he’s lost his keys again.
I, on the other hand, am swanning serenely about my apartment wearing nothing but some pink and black dental floss and a shpritz of Chanel no. 5 behind each ear, sipping champagne from a crystal flute while waiting for my paramour to call. It wasn’t always like this. I, too, was once a harassed housewife but I paid my dues, survived the tricky years and earned my freedom. And best of all, I still feel good.
So yes, for now ‘good’ is definitely good enough.
By Poshbird aka Wendy Salisbury is the author of The Toyboy Diaries and Toyboy Diaries 2 – The Daily Male.
