For those who are in the dating game, you would be surpised on how much information you can dig up on your date using the net these days.
Internet search has totally changed the dating scene. In traditional dating you find out about the person that you are dating by spending time with him/her, and perhaps even through friends or families. Nowdays with our good friend google you can find out more than you want to know about who you are dating within a couple of minutes.
For many people, the most daunting aspect of all this Googling is the results their own name will yield from a search: “What might a webstalker dig up on me?” Peter, an urban and urbane thirty-something, was mortified to find evidence of his involvement with a medieval group in university “when I thought that running around in tights was the epitome of the sublime life”. Mildly discomfiting, but nothing compared with what John suffered. “When my name is Googled, the first listing is highly embarrassing,” says the young man who asked us not to identify him further, for fear Financial Times readers might look him up online. “Years ago, in a fit of silliness, I posted an essay admitting that I remember the exact date of losing my virginity and said – facetiously – that I planned to throw an anniversary party someday. A friend read it and threw me a surprise party on the 10th anniversary, putting my then-new girlfriend and me in a very uncomfortable position.”
There is no anti-Google device, unfortunately – no cyber equivalent to hiding your caller ID on a phone. And once something is cached online, good luck trying to delete it. As the saying goes, information wants to be free.
The unregulated nature of the net can have adverse effects that go beyond a mere blushing embarrassment from youthful indiscretions: an employer may not hire you if you’ve expressed certain political opinions online; a disgruntled ex may post an explicit photo without your permission.
But there are plenty of Google success stories, when online research marks a new level in a relationship. “When my current boyfriend and I first met, we both Googled each other between the second and third date,” says London-based Rachel. “I think it shows an elegant synchronicity of thinking, though neither of us confessed we had done this till the fourth date.”
And then there’s Dave, whose prospective boss Googled him after the interview and found a rather compromising picture of him out drunk with friends. “Let’s just say I probably could have been arrested for indecent exposure,” says Dave. “But I got the job. I think it gave me an edge.”
When 31 year old Amanda googled the gorgeous rugby player she was dating, who claimed he was 26, she found out he had only just retired from being captain of the under 18 team. He was 19!
But first date googling? Should you keep that quiet? Sebastian was set up on a date by friends with a b-list actress. He googled her before the date and when he knew what play she’d been doing in rep, rather than being flattered, she said indignantly “You’ve googled me!”
