Navigating the murky waters of dating during a separation can be daunting. Whether you’re dipping your toes back into the dating pool or diving in headfirst, it’s crucial to understand the different types of separation, the legalities involved, and the importance of communication with your ex-spouse. Here’s a guide to help you find your way with care, respect, and legality.

Separation: What’s Your Status?

Separation isn’t one-size-fits-all. It ranges from a temporary pause to figure things out, a more definitive step towards ending the relationship, to a formal, legal declaration. Let’s break it down:

• Temporary Separation: Think of this as pressing pause. It’s a time for reflection, personal growth, and decision-making about the future of your relationship. Dating during this phase? It’s a gray area. While it might provide clarity or solace, it could also complicate reconciliation efforts. Tread lightly.
• Permanent Separation: When you’ve both decided to call it quits for good but haven’t made it official with the courts, you’re permanently separated. Dating now feels less like stepping on a landmine but consult with a lawyer to understand how it might affect any future divorce proceedings.
• Legal Separation: This is separation with the court’s stamp of approval. It’s as close to divorce as you can get without finalizing the end of your marriage. Dating during this phase is generally clearer legally but still warrants a cautious approach, especially if you have children or unresolved financial issues.

UKs Largest Dating and Relationship Site For Older Women And Younger Man

If you’re looking to jump back into the dating world, why not try one of the most active and vibrant dating platforms? For over a decade, Toyboy Warehouse has been matching handsome younger men with mature women. From love, lust to romance, every dating style is catered for. Why not take a look and see for yourself?

Members Online Now

Join Toyboy Warehouse

The Legal Maze of Love

Diving into a new relationship during a separation is not just about your emotional readiness; it’s also about navigating a legal maze. Here’s the lowdown:

• Adultery Accusations: If you’re not legally separated, dating could be considered adultery. This can affect divorce proceedings, especially in fault-based divorce states. It’s not just about legal definitions; it’s about protecting your interests and ensuring a smoother divorce process.
• Financial and Custody Complications: Starting a new relationship before your divorce is finalized can complicate financial settlements and custody arrangements. Your ex-spouse might argue that your new relationship is affecting your decision-making or financial stability, which could sway judgments on alimony, child support, and custody.

If you’re unsure or worried about your how your dating adventures will impact your divorce, be sure to consult with a legal professional. While in many instances, a permanent or legal separation won’t have a significant detrimental effect on your divorce proceedings, it’s important to discuss this with a professional.

Divorce is rarely straightforward, there may be a host of nuances and complications that should be looked at before committing to the next stage in your dating journey.

Having “The Talk” with Your Ex

Before you update your dating profile or head out on that coffee date, have a chat with your ex-spouse. It’s not about seeking permission; it’s about mutual respect and clear communication. Consider these points:

• Timing and Sensitivity: Choose a good time to have this discussion, and approach it with sensitivity. This conversation can be challenging, but it’s essential for co-parenting relationships and to avoid unnecessary legal battles.
• Children First: If you have children, their well-being should be at the forefront of this conversation. Discuss how and when to introduce a new partner and the impact it might have on them.
• Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries about what’s okay to share and what’s off-limits, especially in front of the kids or mutual friends.

Moral Compass: Children and Community

When separated, dating isn’t just about you and your new partner; it’s about the broader implications, especially if children are involved. Here’s what to consider:

• Children’s Feelings: Kids might struggle to understand your separation and introducing a new partner too soon can be confusing or hurtful. Think about their emotional state and what’s best for them in the long run.
• Community Perception: While it’s your life, be mindful of how your dating might be perceived, especially in tight-knit communities or social circles. It’s not about living your life for others, but about moving forward with respect and discretion.

Online Dating: Swipe with Strategy

Online dating can be a great way to meet new people, especially when you’re navigating the complexities of being separated. Here’s how to do it right:

• Be Honest: Transparency is key. Your profile should indicate that you’re separated, preventing misunderstandings down the line.
• Privacy Protections: Consider how much you share about your current situation, especially to protect your privacy and that of your family.
• Emphasize Growth: Focus on the positive aspects of your journey. Share what you’ve learned about yourself and how you’ve grown.
• Guard Your Heart and Theirs: Be upfront about what you’re looking for, whether it’s casual dating or a more serious relationship. This clarity helps protect both your feelings and those of the people you meet.

Smart Swiping: Enhancing Your Online Dating Profile While Separated

Diving into the world of online dating while navigating a separation can feel like walking a tightrope. However, with a little thoughtfulness and strategy, you can enhance your profile in a way that attracts the right kind of attention without jeopardizing your chances of finding a meaningful connection.

When setting up your online dating profile, honesty about your relationship status is paramount. Candidly stating that you are separated and not yet divorced invites transparency and sets the right expectations. It’s essential to frame this information positively, focusing on your readiness to explore new relationships and the growth you’ve experienced from your past. This approach not only attracts individuals who are comfortable dating someone in your situation but also lays the groundwork for open and honest communication from the start.

The choice of where to date is another consideration that requires tact, especially if you and your ex-spouse live in close proximity or are even cohabitating during the separation process. Opting for neutral, public spaces in nearby towns or neighborhoods can provide a comfortable distance from your usual social circles and minimize the chances of awkward encounters. It’s also a respectful way to maintain privacy for both you and your ex-partner during this transition period.

Explaining your current feelings towards your ex-spouse is perhaps one of the more delicate aspects of dating while separated. It’s important to strike a balance between being open about your past and not allowing it to overshadow your present. Share that while you have respect for your past relationship, you are focused on moving forward. This signals to potential partners that you are emotionally available and ready to embark on a new chapter.

Dating While Separated

Dating while separated is a deeply personal decision that comes with its own set of challenges and considerations. By approaching it with honesty, respect, and an open heart, you can navigate this transition in a way that’s healthy and fulfilling for you.

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When a 52-year-old mum took to the internet to discuss her experiences dating younger men, she wasn’t expecting the avalanche of responses she’d get. Sarah’s honest question was simple: “Is it selfish of me to date men significantly younger?”

Sarah’s Dating Diaries

Sarah’s dating journey began post-divorce. She decided to explore new experiences, not limited by age or societal norms. Her first relationship with a younger man, Tom, who was 32, was a whirlwind. They shared laughter, adventures, and late-night conversations that felt new and invigorating.

A Critic from Within

But the voice of her best friend, Paula, rang in her ears: “Aren’t you depriving him of a regular life, like having children?” Sarah couldn’t dismiss Paula’s concern. Was she being unfair to Tom, who might want children or a partner his age someday?

Internet’s Mixed Reactions

Seeking a broader perspective, Sarah turned to an online forum. The reactions varied wildly. Some users saw her relationship with Tom as a passionate adventure between two consenting adults. “Age is just a number,” commented one user, pointing out that the heart wants what it wants.

However, not all were supportive. A few pointed fingers, labelling her as a “cougar” taking advantage of younger men. One user asked, “Would you be okay if your son dated someone your age?”

Silver Linings and Second Thoughts

The silver lining? The discussions made Sarah reflect deeply. She found solace in responses from older women in similar relationships. Their experiences mirrored her own — the initial guilt, the societal judgment, but also the immense joy and fulfilment. For many, their partners were not with them for fleeting thrills but for genuine connection.

The Question of Selfishness

So, was Sarah being selfish? Some would say yes, while others would applaud her for following her heart. Relationships are deeply personal. The importance is ensuring that both parties are aware of and understand the dynamics at play.

Sarah’s Decision

Sarah and Tom had a heart-to-heart. Tom, ever the romantic, shared that he valued their time together above societal norms. Their connection was genuine, and while the future was uncertain, they were living in the present.

Conclusion

Sarah’s story isn’t unique. Many women face judgment for their relationship choices. However, true happiness comes from understanding oneself and one’s partner. It’s about mutual respect, understanding, and communication. Instead of seeking answers online, perhaps the real answers lie within the relationship itself.

The post Mum Asks the Internet: Is Dating Younger Men Selfish? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Hey, lovebirds and love-seekers! How’s the journey in the realm of romance? Exciting? Confusing? A bit of both? Well, don’t worry—I’ve got you covered! Today we’re diving into a topic that’s as sneaky as it is perplexing: Breadcrumming. Yep, you heard it right! This isn’t about that loaf of bread on your kitchen counter. It’s all about those confusing, mixed signals that keep you hanging but never fully commit. So grab your emotional backpacks, and let’s get navigating!

What is Breadcrumming?

Breadcrumming is when someone gives you just enough attention to keep you interested, but not enough to commit. Think of it as a trail of breadcrumbs—tiny morsels that keep you following but never lead to a fulfilling end. They’ll text you occasionally, maybe like your social media posts, even make plans they never intend to keep. Essentially, breadcrumbers are stringing you along without any intention of forming a meaningful relationship.

How to Spot a Breadcrumber

Inconsistent Communication

One day they’re texting you like there’s no tomorrow, and the next, they’ve ghosted! If someone is really into you, they will make a consistent effort.

Vague Plans

Ever heard, “Let’s hang out sometime!” but “sometime” never comes? That’s a classic breadcrumb.

Hot and Cold Behavior

One moment they’re flirty and the next, they’re distant. This rollercoaster is not the fun kind, trust me!

Always Online, Rarely Engaged

They’re always active on social media but somehow too busy to meet you or take the relationship to the next level.

Emotional Unavailability

They’re there for the fun stuff but disappear when things get real or slightly emotional.

What to Do if You’re Being Breadcrumbed

Self-Evaluation

Ask yourself, what are you looking for in a relationship? If it’s commitment and emotional investment, then my darling, those breadcrumbs won’t make a wholesome meal.

Communicate

Ask them directly about their intentions. It might be intimidating, but it’s the quickest way to know where you stand.

Set Boundaries

Make it clear what you’re looking for and what you’re not willing to put up with.

Take Control

Don’t wait around for breadcrumbs to turn into a loaf of bread. Take charge of your love life and focus on people who invest in you as much as you invest in them.

Seek Fulfillment Elsewhere

Remember, your worth is not determined by how someone treats you. Engage in activities that make you happy and surround yourself with people who appreciate you for the fabulous person you are!

Final Thoughts

Being breadcrumbed can feel disheartening, but recognizing the signs is the first step to finding someone who truly appreciates and values you. So pick yourself up, dust off those crumbs, and stride confidently into a future filled with better relationships and no more half-baked plans!

Sending you all the love and positive vibes! Keep shining and don’t settle for less!

The post Are You Being Breadcrumbed? How to Spot It and What to Do Next! appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Oh, honey, get ready to talk about one of the most exciting—yet nerve-wracking—parts of modern dating: texting! Now, texting plays a HUGE role in how relationships unfold today, and if you’re feeling a little lost, don’t worry, I’ve got you covered! Let’s dive in, shall we?

Why Texting is Important in Dating

Initial Connection & Keeping the Spark Alive:

Ah, yes! The beginning stages of any relationship are just so exhilarating, aren’t they? Texting helps you get to know each other better and maintain that initial spark. Imagine it’s been a couple of days since your first date, and you get that sweet “Good morning!” text. It’s like a little reminder that someone is thinking of you!

Example: “Good morning! I had a great time the other night. How’s your day starting off?”

Convenience & Accessibility:

Listen, we’re all busy bees . Texting allows you to stay in touch without the pressure of having to set aside time for a call or meeting. Whether you’re stuck in a meeting or doing grocery shopping, a quick text can go a long way.

Example: “Hey, swamped at work but was thinking of you. How’s your day going?”

Building Emotional Intimacy:

While face-to-face time is crucial, texting can add another layer of connection. Sharing little details, sending words of encouragement, or even discussing serious topics can build emotional intimacy.

Example: “You won’t believe the kind of day I had! Can’t wait to tell you all about it.”

What to Avoid While Texting When Dating

Overthinking & Overanalyzing:

A classic pitfall! You get a text, and suddenly you’re decoding it like it’s a message from another galaxy. Just breathe! Not every “Hey” has a hidden meaning.

Example: Reading into the fact that they used a period instead of an exclamation mark and thinking they’re mad at you.

Spamming When You Don’t Get a Reply:

Patience is a virtue, darling! If they haven’t replied, there could be a myriad of reasons. Triple texting within five minutes is a no-no.

Example: “Hey! Are you there? Helloooo???”

Sharing Too Much, Too Soon:

While vulnerability is beautiful, there’s a time and place for it. Don’t unload all your emotional baggage in the first few days of texting.

Example: Sharing your entire life story and deepest fears in a text message right after the first date.

And there you have it! Keep these tips in mind, and you’ll be a texting pro in no time. Remember, communication is key, but so is balance. Happy texting!

The post What’s The Deal With Texting? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

The Sacred Bond: Why Honesty Is Crucial in Relationships and How to Balance It with Privacy

Hello, lovebirds and soul searchers! If you’re reading this, you’re probably interested in strengthening your relationship, or maybe you’re just curious about the secret sauce that makes a relationship thrive. Well, you’re in luck! Today, we’re talking about a cornerstone of any healthy relationship: Honesty.

The Real Deal on Honesty

You’ve heard it before: “Honesty is the best policy.” But when it comes to relationships, it’s not just a policy; it’s the bedrock upon which trust is built. Being honest with your partner fosters an environment where you both can be vulnerable, express yourselves, and feel secure.

The Snowball Effect

Now, what happens when you start keeping little secrets or telling “white lies”? Initially, it might seem harmless. You think, “Oh, it’s just a tiny thing. They don’t need to know.” The problem is that dishonesty has a snowball effect. One lie leads to another, and before you know it, you’re trapped in a web of deceit that’s difficult to untangle.

Emotional Erosion

The moment your partner catches you in a lie or realizes you’ve kept something from them, cracks form in the foundation of trust. This emotional erosion can lead to doubt, anxiety, and ultimately, the death of intimacy.

Honesty vs. Privacy: The Fine Line

“But wait!” you say. “Does being honest mean I have to share every single thought or detail of my life?” Absolutely not! Honesty and privacy are not mutually exclusive; in fact, they’re two sides of the same coin.

Your Right to Privacy

Everyone has the right to their own thoughts, feelings, and personal space. You don’t need to disclose every little thing about your past, your friendships, or even your day-to-day activities if you don’t feel it’s necessary.

Transparency and Boundaries

Being honest means being transparent about what matters to the relationship and setting clear boundaries about what you’re comfortable sharing. It’s about saying, “This is who I am, this is how I feel, and this is what I want,” while respecting your partner’s right to do the same.

The Road to Redemption

If you’ve found yourself on the shaky ground of dishonesty, don’t despair! Relationships are not set in stone; they’re more like clay. With time, effort, and, most importantly, honesty, you can rebuild what’s been broken.

Come Clean: If you’ve been dishonest, the first step toward healing is admitting it.

Seek Understanding: Try to understand why you felt the need to be dishonest in the first place.

Open the Lines of Communication: Create a safe space where both you and your partner can express your feelings and concerns.

Commit to Honesty: Make a pact to be honest with each other moving forward, no matter how difficult it may be.

Wrapping It Up

Remember, love warriors, honesty is not just about telling the truth; it’s about living your truth and allowing your partner to live theirs. A relationship built on honesty is not just strong; it’s invincible.

So go ahead, be brave, be honest, and love like you’ve never been hurt!

Until next time, keep those hearts open and that love flowing!

The post Why Honesty Really Is The Best Policy? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

In the digital age, finding love online has become as common as traditional dating paths. However, as online dating flourishes, so do the opportunities for scams aimed at those seeking romance. Understanding romance scams, recognising the early warning signs, and knowing how to protect yourself can make your journey to love both safe and enjoyable.

Understanding Romance Scams

Romance scams involve deceiving someone into believing they are in a relationship in order to extract money or personal information. These scams can occur on various platforms, including social media, dating apps, and websites. In the UK, thousands fall victim to these scams annually, with victims losing significant amounts of money. Scammers craft elaborate profiles and stories to lure in their victims, often claiming to need money for emergencies, medical bills, or travel. Platforms like Toyboy Warehouse strive to combat these tactics by implementing strict profile verification processes and educating their members on the signs of scams, making it a safer environment for online dating.

Early Warning Signs of a Scammer

While not every online romantic interest displaying these characteristics is a scammer, being aware of common red flags can help you stay vigilant:

• Military Claims: Scammers often pretend to be in the military, citing it as a reason for being overseas.
• Overly Religious: Mentioning a strong religious faith, often coupled with a ‘god-fearing’ persona, to build trust.
• Rushing into Marriage: Talking about marriage or a deeply committed relationship unusually early.
• Widowed Status: Many scammers claim to be widowed, appealing to sympathy.
• Poor English: Frequent grammatical errors and poor language use may indicate scamming.
• Being Overseas: Claiming to live or work overseas as a reason for not meeting in person.
• Emphasis on Commitment: Pushing for exclusivity and a serious relationship right away.

Toyboy Warehouse actively monitors for these signs, offering a layer of protection to its users by reviewing profiles and activities that may indicate scamming behavior.

Scammer Strategies for Financial Exploitation

Scammers have a toolbox of tactics to extract money, including:

• Cryptocurrency: They may ask for payments in cryptocurrency due to the difficulty of tracing these transactions.
• Gift Cards: Scammers favor gift cards because they’re easy to redeem anonymously.
• Emergencies Abroad: Claiming that they need money for sudden, often dramatic, overseas emergencies.
• Loans or Investments: Convincing their target to hand over money for a supposedly lucrative investment or a loan.

Toyboy Warehouse advises its users to be cautious of these strategies and offers guidance on how to spot and avoid potential scams.

Staying Safe Online

Protecting yourself from romance scams is paramount when dating online. Here are key ways to keep your heart and wallet safe:

• Always question overly dramatic stories or requests for money. Apply critical thinkng
• Guard your personal and financial information diligently.
• Use dating sites like Toyboy Warehouse, which offers manually approved verification processes for all members, adding an extra layer of security.
• If you’re unsure about a member, Toyboy Warehouse encourages you to email them for an investigation into the member’s profile.
• If you encounter suspicious behavior, report it immediately to the dating site or app. If they don’t respond to your satisfaction, consider finding a safer platform. Toyboy Warehouse takes these reports seriously and acts swiftly to investigate and take appropriate action.
• Use search engines to perform reverse image searches on profile pictures to check for use across multiple profiles, which could indicate a scam. Similarly, searching for chunks of the profile description can reveal copied descriptions used in scams.
• When meeting up, always meet in public places and inform friends or family about your plans.

How to Reverse Image Search a Profile Picture

1. If you’re on a computer, right-click on the profile picture you wish to check. If you’re on a mobile device, you may need to press and hold the image.
2. Select ‘Copy Image Address’: This option allows you to copy the direct link to the image.
3. Go to a Reverse Image Search Engine: Popular options include Google Images, TinEye, and Bing Visual Search.
4. Paste the Image URL in the search bar (usually marked with a camera icon for image searches), paste the image address and press enter. On some platforms, you might need to select the option to search by image URL specifically.
5. If the image is associated with multiple profiles across different dating sites or social media platforms under various names, it’s likely the picture is being used by a scammer. Similarly, if the image appears in stock photo repositories or is linked to reported scam activities, these are red flags.

How to Search a Chunk of the Profile Description

1. Select a sentence or phrase from the profile that seems unique or particularly detailed.
2. Open any popular search engine and paste the copied text into the search bar, enclosing it in quotation marks (“”) to search for that exact phrase.
3. If you find the exact phrase appearing in profiles across different dating sites or forums, especially under different names, it’s a strong indicator that the profile might be fake. Scammers often recycle successful scam scripts.

Why These Methods Are Effective

Scammers tend to operate in volume, creating multiple profiles across various platforms to cast a wide net for potential victims. By reusing images and profile descriptions, they can efficiently manage multiple personas without the need to constantly create new content. This efficiency, however, becomes their vulnerability when you conduct reverse image and text searches. The repetition of content across different contexts is a clear signal that you might be dealing with a scammer.

New Threats in Romance Scams

With AI, scammers have found it easier to craft full-fledged, believable profiles complete with unique pictures and descriptions, making traditional methods of detecting scams, like reverse image searches, less effective.

AI-powered messaging allows scammers to communicate with potential victims in real-time, creating messages that are tailored, convincing, and feel incredibly genuine. This evolution in scam tactics necessitates an even more vigilant approach to online dating.

If you ever find yourself in doubt about the authenticity of a profile, the best course of action is to ask the dating site to conduct an investigation.

Above all, it’s crucial to adhere to the golden rule of online dating safety: never send money or personal information to someone you haven’t met in person or with whom you do not have an established, trustworthy relationship.

Dating Safely

By staying informed about the signs of romance scams and taking proactive steps to protect yourself, you can navigate the world of online dating more safely. Remember, platforms like Toyboy Warehouse are committed to providing a secure environment for finding love, offering tools and support to ensure your online dating experience is positive and secure. Embrace the journey to finding love online, armed with the knowledge to keep scammers at bay.

The post Navigating Love Online: Staying Ahead of Romance Scams appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

I’ve always preferred older women. Even in my twenties when a lot of my friends were starting relationships with women their age, I was interested in someone more mature.

My average age-gap has been around 10-15 years, with my largest being 17 years. I’m not too worried about the maths of it all, if there’s a connection, that’s what matters for me.

I think I’m a bit of an old soul. I love jazz and smart conversations, the whole clubbing scene isn’t one for me! I also really admire independence, I don’t like it if the person I’m in a relationship with feels obligated to rely on me. I find someone who knows what they want sexy. Someone who’s self-assured and isn’t looking for hand holding (in the metaphorical sense, everyone loves actual physical hand holding!).

I can’t actually remember how I found out about Toyboy Warehouse. Honestly I wasn’t actually looking for a relationship or anything, just to meet new people. One thing led to another and I had a number of fantastic dates, even managing to find someone who’d willingly go to a jazz club with me – can’t say the same for the same aged girlfriends I’ve had.

Martin, 31

UKs Largest Dating and Relationship Site For Older Women And Younger Man

If you’re looking to jump back into the dating world, why not try one of the most active and vibrant dating platforms? For over a decade, Toyboy Warehouse has been matching handsome younger men with mature women. From love, lust to romance, every dating style is catered for. Why not take a look and see for yourself?

Members Online Now

Join Toyboy Warehouse

For me, I wouldn’t say I have a preference over older women or women my age. I’m open to all kinds of people, if there’s chemistry, I couldn’t care less about the age-gap.

I was convinced to join Toyboy Warehouse by an ex of mine, she said it’d suit my open dating style. I was pretty reulctant at first, not knowing what I was getting myself into. But when I did, I was glad I took her advice.

Things seem a little slower on Toyboy Warehouse, compared to other dating sites – not in a bad way. On Tinder, or something, there’s loads of matches and messages, it can be difficult to keep up. You don’t really have a connection with a single person, just fleeting conversations that quickly go nowhere.

When I first join Toyboy Warehouse I messaged a few women and to my surprise I spent nearly the entire night chatting with one of them. It was really nice to connect and have a proper conversation, rather than quick one liners. We met up a little while later and had a really enjoyable evening. We were together for a couple of months and while it didn’t work out in the end, we both really enjoyed our time together.

To anyone thinking of trying the site for themselves, I’d say go for it!

Ahemd, 30

I think it’s important to be open about what you’re looking for early in a relationship. I’m looking for something casual but exciting, not a fling but a “passionate series of encounters”.

I find older women so sexy, and the secret is, so do loads of other guys. I think it’s TV shows and films that portray guys only interested in women younger than them, but the opposite it true!

The nights I’ve spend with older women have been some of the best I’ve had. There’s no awkwardness, no assumption of marriage or kids down the line. I find when it comes to the bedroom, older women know what they want.

I’ve found some to be a little shy, many haven’t dated a younger guys. Plenty expect me to be turned off my a wrinkle here and there, but that’s never been the case. Very quickly we usually find that shyness wash away and we have the most amazing, passionate experience with each other.

Ed, 34

My friends are split in half, 50% of them have girlfriends/wives a lot younger than them, 50% of them have girlfriends/wives a lot older than them. You can guess what camp I’m in.

I’m a widower, my wife passed away a little over 6 years ago. Ever since then, I’ve kind of had a redefined look about life. I was working a standard 9-5 job, typical mortgage, bills, quiet life. My wife’s passing was extremely hard on me, it took me a little to realise I had to enjoy the fleeting time that I have.

My new lease on life has pushed me to try new adventures, I’ve travelled more in the last few years than I ever did in the near have a century before that.

For me, I want to find someone to share those adventures with. Someone who doesn’t want a “pipe and slippers” husband but to experience all life has to offer.

Joining the site was part of that. I wanted to find someone who was also bored of the mundane and ready for adventure.

Sven, 46

The post Why I Prefer To Date Older Women appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Who is this guide for?

This guide is exclusively for:

Women

50 and older

Looking to get into dating

The dating scene has changed a lot, it seems like every week there’s new apps, terms and tips to get ahead in the dating world. This guide is here to hold your hand, it’s dedicated to the following:

• Those who’ve come out of a marriage or long relationship, looking to get back into dating
• Those who’ve tried dating, particularly online dating, but still haven’t had to much luck
• Those who are over 50 but tired of the mature dating scene. Those are looking to enjoy themselves, meet interesting people and take part in new experiences
• Those looking for love, lust and romance

“I was surprised that men in their 30s and 40s were interested in me!”

Sandra, 54

The 5 steps to over 50s dating

UKs Largest Dating and Relationship Site For Older Women And Younger Man

If you’re looking to jump back into the dating world, why not try one of the most active and vibrant dating platforms? For over a decade, Toyboy Warehouse has been matching handsome younger men with mature women. From love, lust to romance, every dating style is catered for. Why not take a look and see for yourself?

Members Online Now

Join Toyboy Warehouse

Setting Boundaries

Jumping right into the cold water can be a bit of a shock.

Dating can be exciting and thrilling yet what it’s you’re comfortable with is the most important. 

For many, dating is likely to be something that they haven’t done in a very long time. For others, it might be something they’ve never done. They married their first partner, they never had to do online dating or dating in general.

If this sounds like you, don’t worry.

Dating might seem a little daunting, however the key to taking that leap is setting boundaries.

Dating and relationships don’t happen all at once, it’s a long winding road full of exciting milestones along the way. The big milestones in the distance may seem a little scary; going on face-to-face date, that first kiss, having sex with a new partner!

But remember, you can enjoy the earlier, more comfortable milestones with no obligation to take part in the later milestones when you’re ready. 

Maybe you’re comfortable with chatting to someone over a messaging app, but not yet in person. Maybe you’re not ready for anything sexual. Maybe the idea of another long term relationship isn’t what you want. 

All of these are a-ok!

Take some time to think about your boundaries. Take a look at our boundary roadmap guide and see where you feel comfortable. Over time, these may change. Take some periodically to reassess the boundaries you feel comfortable with.

While it’s important to know what your boundaries are, it’s also important to explain them to a potential partner. 

When messaging with a new guy, set out early what you do and do not feel comfortable with. Explain your situation, that you’ve recently come out of a marriage or long term relationship. Chat about the boundaries you feel ok trying to cross, but that it may take time and ask if they’re ok with that.

When you’re online dating, you’re likely messaging more than one person. This is normal and accepted. With so many people online and so little time to get to know them, being upfront is appreciated.

Be warned, you may feel like some guys will push your boundaries. They may show respect for what you’re comfortable with at first, but as you progress in your relationship, you may find them encouraging you to cross boundaries you don’t feel up to yet.

Gentle, playful encouragement might be ok. When things become too incessant, then you may have to intervene. 

Again, with so many people online dating, you are free to cut things off if you’re not happy. You are in control of your dating roadmap. You should try and challenge yourself to do things that are a little scary, but you shouldn’t feel coerced. Ending things because you’re not comfortable is ok. There’s plenty more people online ready to chat to.

Picking An Age Range

This is the fun part.

Dating has come a long way. A hell of a lot more type of dating is now acceptable and even encouraged. Don’t feel obligated to date a certain kind of person, and importantly, don’t feel obligated to date someone the same age as you.

Also, don’t think that as a mature woman, you won’t have interest from men in every age range. Again, dating has come a long way. Age-gap dating has exploded in recent years, don’t think there won’t be younger guys interested in women over 50. Because trust us, the opposite is true!

There are plenty of positives and negatives about each age range.

20 – 29

Positives

• Guys in their 20s are full of energy, perfect for if you’re looking for new experiences and wild thrills
• Very sexually active and eager to please, if that’s your preference
• Likely to be not looking for anything too serious, if that’s what you’re looking for
• Likely not looking to have children just yet

Negatives

• May be a little young by many women’s standards
• Again, may not be looking for anything too serious
• May be too sexually focussed, pushing the boundaries you’ve only just set
• May be looking for someone to help them financially

30 – 35

Positives

• Still has the same energy and thirst for excitement as someone in their 20s, but with a sensible head on their shoulders
• Again, still sexually active but more responsible and, importantly, experienced
• May be looking for a something casual, may be looking for a slightly longer term thing
• Likely to be financially independent

Negatives

• If you’re not comfortable dating a younger man, this age range might not be suitable
• If your friends or family have more conservative ideas about dating, you might get some flack from them (even though it’s none of their business!)

36 – 40

Positives 

• While they may be more settled and less interested in adventure, this age range still has men who enjoy new experiences
• Very responsible and mature, unlike some of their younger counterparts
• Highly likely to be financially independent 

Negatives

• Would likely be looking for something serious, or extremely casual
• May be starting to set in their ways, which may not be what you’re looking for

40+

Positives

• If you’re interested in someone your age range, then this is likely the place to start
• Likely to be mature, responsible (although there’s plenty of childish ones!)
• Would be accommodating if you have children, as they likely have some of their own
• More likely looking for something serious, if that’s to your interest

Negatives

• There is a large percentage of men in this age range more interested in younger women. You might have to filter out those.
• Older guys can be set in their ways, uninterested in new experiences or showing romance. This might not be what you’re looking for.
• More likely looking for something serious, if that’s not your preference

Picking a site/app

There are a lot of dating sites.

Like, a lot!

Finding the right one for you can be pretty tricky. Each dating site/app has its positives and negatives, each attracts a different kind of guy. Take a look at our dating site/app breakdown to find the perfect platform for you.

Tinder

Positives

• Large number of users
• Easy to download and use

Negatives

• Can be focussed too much on flings
• High chances of “ghosting” (link)
• App used primarily for under 30’s

Match.com

Positives

• Offers a wide range of relationship types, from casual to the more serious
• Very good filtering options

Negatives

• Not a huge number of users
• Many of the older guys are looking for younger women, plus there’s very few younger men looking for an older partner
• Has a number of fake profiles

Telegraph Dating

Positives

• Good for mature members
• Offers a range of people looking for serious relationships

Negatives

• Many of the older guys are looking for younger women, plus there’s very few younger men looking for an older partner
• Low number of members online and active

Staying safe

Online dating can be a fun and exciting experience, however like everything else on the internet – it’s important to stay safe. Unfortunately, for many dating sites/apps, scammers are prevalent. 

The ability to gain someone’s trust and to target vulnerable people makes online dating an effective platform for scammers. While their approach will differ from person to person, usually they involve posing as a potential partner, promising a dreamlike relationship, then asking for money due to a sudden and dramatic reason.

Don’t worry, keeping a level and looking out for these top trends can keep you safe when dating online:

Reluctance to show their face

Many scammers online don’t use their actual profile, they will make a fake one using someone else’s details. Principally, they’ll use photos that aren’t their own. 

For that reason, they will be very unlikely to share more photos that aren’t already on their profile, or join a video call. Use this to your advantage. If you’re a little unsure whether a potential partner is genuine, ask them to send a selfie. Better yet, suggest a video call date. See how they react, if they are hesitant or flat-out refuse, be sure to raise your suspicions.

Poor English

It’s unfortunate, however many scammers operate outside of Western countries. This can make it difficult to catch and prosecute them.

However, this does mean many don’t hold a high level of English language ability. Their profile, which has likely been used several places before, may have perfect English. But you might find their messages are short, to the point and hold a number of grammar and spelling mistakes.

Of course, not everyone with poor English is a scammer online and you shouldn’t disregard someone purely based on a language ability. However, if you already have your suspicions, this may be a number mark in the potential scammer section.

Highly relationship focussed

Scammers like to target what they consider vulnerable people. These are individuals they see as very keen on a relationship, so much so that they ignore the warning flags. They’re really want to meet Mr. Right and are willing to ignore a few strange behaviours to get there.

For this reason, you may find a potential scammer’s profile to be extremely relationship focussed. While a normal online dating profile may say they’re looking for something serious, a scammer will go above and beyond. They’ll talk about how they are looking for marriage, looking to take care of a female partner, financially and emotionally. 

When chatting to them, they’ll escalate things quickly. Not in a sexual way, but rather in a romantic way. They’ll quickly talk about “love” and how infatuated they are. They’ll also be keen to move from the dating app, to messaging on a WhatsApp or a similar messaging service.

Military or similar trustworthy career

As many scammers’ profiles are used in several places, some key traits can be regularly spotted.

You may find the member shows off that they are/were in the military. Military photos are extremely common for scammers. If not the military, you may find another similarly trustworthy job. It can make the profile seem more genuine, it also gives them an excuse to explain long periods of silence or their different time zones. The scammer’s financial issues (which they use to ask for money) usually involve travel, which you can expect from someone in the military.

You may also find frequent religious references and frequent admission that they are “God-fearing”. Again, this is to show trustworthiness, that their actions are not vindictive as they are a moral individual.

Asking for money

Eventually, all scammers will show this trait. Be on the lookout and be sure to never give money to someone on a dating site.

This may be harder than it sounds, it could be after a long and emotionally fervent relationship online. This individual may seem perfect, they may have promised a lot and made you feel extremely happy. However, be sure to end things quickly when the topic of giving money comes up.

They’ll spin a sob story, talk about how they are in grave danger, either financially or have a threat against their life. Be firm and leave quickly, no matter the circumstances, a scammer should never be indulged.

Join a site with a verification system

Your dating site/app is there to protect you. If you are ever unsure about whether a person is genuine or not, flag their profile up to the site’s verification team. They can tell you quickly if the person is a scammer.

However, before all that. Ensure the dating site you join actually has an active and engaged verification team. 

For example, Toyboy Warehouse has an inhouse team of verification experts. Every profile is manually approved to ensure all members are genuine. The team is also on hand to address any and all concerns, they are happy to check a member for you if you’re ever unsure – regardless of why.

Dating terms

If you haven’t dated online for quite a while, or have never tried it before, the host of dating terms and traditions may seem a little overwhelming.

Honestly, our advice is not to get too bogged down in the minutiae. Online dating is intended to be fun and exciting, an opportunity to meet new people and experience new things. It’s not something you need to learn or acquire a totally new vocabulary about. 

However, you may find some of them useful, especially if you’re going to experience them in your dating adventures. Here’s a snapshot of the most important that you’ll likely benefit knowing about:

FOMO

While not exclusively about dating, FOMO stands for the Fear or Missing Out. With our modern interconnected world, there’s arguably a host of more things to experience. With access to millions of films, TV shows, songs, books, podcasts, stories, social media posts, etc., one can be stricken with the feeling of FOMO. The idea that with so much to choose from, it can be difficult to make a choice as something better may be on the horizon.

The exact same concept can apply to dating. Instead of a handful of potential partners, people are exposed to hundreds. When searching online, you’ll likely find pages and pages of suitable candidates. 

With so much to choose from, it can be difficult focussing your attention on just one person. Many people start to feel anxious that the person they’re speaking to isn’t the best possible person for them. Even if nothing has gone wrong, the hundreds of potential other partners are just waiting for them and they start to feel fear that they’ll miss out on someone even better for them. 

If you spot yourself experiencing this, be sure to try and limit your fears. FOMO can lead to a paralyzing inaction, that if there’s always a better prospect out there you’ll never settle on one person. When you get chatting with someone and start to feel a connection, try to limit your searching and ignore other incoming messages. Remember that you’re only getting a snapshot of this person online, if you continue to feel there’s someone better, you’ll never stop searching.

Of course, you may be on the other end of FOMO, if that happens you may unfortunately experience “ghosting”.

Ghosting

As the name might suggest, ghosting is the process of suddenly leaving someone’s life. For online dating, when you “ghost” someone you just stop replying to their messages. This might be when you were a few conversations in, it might even after a few dates, or when things were starting to get serious.

Ghosting is regarded as not the nicest thing to do, if it’s early days with someone it’s not as bad, however a short word explaining that while you had fun, you’re not looking to progress with a relationship, is usually expected.

Cuffing Season

Cuffing season is the period of time usually around early autumn to late winter where you might find your dating prospects get a little easier.

These cold, winter months are usually a little lonelier for people, they’re less likely to go out with friends and meet new people. The fun of the hot, summer months has passed and people are looking for someone to curl up to during the cold nights.

This is cuffing season, the period of time where people are more open to relationships. They’re more keen to couple up and find someone to spend the winter evenings with. 

Be warned however, it’s called cuffing season as some regard it as the time when you’re metaphorically ‘handcuffed’ to someone, only for spring to set you free. 

UKs Largest Dating and Relationship Site For Older Women And Younger Man

If you’re looking to jump back into the dating world, why not try one of the most active and vibrant dating platforms? For over a decade, Toyboy Warehouse has been matching handsome younger men with mature women. From love, lust to romance, every dating style is catered for. Why not take a look and see for yourself?

Join Toyboy Warehouse

The post 5 Steps to Dating in Your 50’s appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

For many, divorce can be a challenging time; practically, financially and emotionally. The idea of dating after what could have been a difficult separation can be a daunting one. The thought of opening yourself up and becoming vunerable can scare many people into a dating paralysis.

However, at Toyboy Warehouse, we’ve found that those that take the plunge and decide to date, they never regret it. Depsite their fears, the world of excitement and adventure that awaits is something to be experienced.

If you’re in the same boat. If you’re someone unsure about dating after a divorce – whether that’s because of emotional fear or the shear practicalities of the modern dating world, then rest your worries aside. Four of the top dating and relationship experts are here to safely guide you into the world of post-divorce dating.

Dawn Burnett, CSA

Divorce Lifestyle Consultant & Mentor

How to get over the fear of dating again

The best way to push past the fear of dating is to understand and own your value. When you are confident in yourself and what you bring to the table as a powerful woman, everything else will fall into place. Yes, it can feel awkward at times when you have young children, but you have to remind yourself that your kids will grow up fast, get their own partners and the last thing you want is to be left feeling alone like you missed out on your opportunity to find the enhancement of love in your own partner. When you decide to exit the relationship with your ex whether it was your choice or not, it’s over, time to move in a forward direction as an independent woman and focus on creating a life by design instead of by default. 

How to have sex for the first time after a divorce/long term relationship

Sex for the first time can feel awkward but the more you work on your own self-worth, the more confidence you gain in your own body image and respect for yourself the more you will allow yourself to open up to the right person without holding on to past barriers.

Is dating as an older women awful?

Dating as an older woman is not awful and single isn’t a disease, it all comes down to mindset. Plenty of people have been known to fall in love in their 70s, it’s all about being clear on what you want in a partner and entering into the dating relationship by saying, “What can I do to enhance this person’s life? What do they bring to the table to enhance my life?” Remember you are the CEO of your own life, and you choose the dating rules, not society. After all, go for it, life is not a dress rehearsal.

Anastasia B. 

Title: Anastasia B. is a psychologist currently working at medvidi and treating mental health issues effectively. She deals with patients from different age groups and understands their requirements respectively. 

How to get over the fear of dating again 

After getting divorced or ending a long-term relationship, there are a lot of fears in one’s mind because of past experiences and heartbreak. When you get married to someone or you had a long relationship, that means you were in love and the person really meant to you. After ending things with that person, it can be really hard to give that place to someone else. Dating again means accepting other people in a romantic way and here’s how you can do that.

• The first thing you can do is to date yourself. Get back with your own self before introducing someone else into your life.
• Making new friends can be really helpful in order to talk about your new self and discuss matters with you. Single friends are better to make dating plans and share your fears with.
• Try to have fun and experiment with new things now that you are over with your old relationship. 
• Give yourself time and take it slowly. Wait until your divorce is final, heal from it and meet new people.

Pitfalls to avoid when dating after a divorce 

Here are a few mistakes that most people make while dating after divorce. Try to avoid them.

• Do not get into the dating game before you are completely ready to meet new people.
• Get rid of the old baggage of emotions. The sooner you throw it away, the better it is for you to have a new fresh start. 
• Be open about your past but avoid talking too much about your ex as it might show that you still have your ex on your mind.
• Stick to your own personality and don’t turn into someone else just because you divorced your old partner. 

How to date after a divorce when you have children 

It is important to talk to your child with the new partner and make them aware that leaving your previous partner does not mean it’s the end of the world for you. They should be open to the fact that you will be dating new people and make them feel good about it.

The Rev. Amy Baker, MA, CCA

Mediator & Family Advocate. Somatic Sexuality Coach

How to get over the fear of dating again 

One of the things I hear from women who are just getting out there to date once single again in their 40s is that the rules have changed and so have their bodies. There is huge body fear in the over-40 women demographic that is seen even when we are in the best shape of our lives. Women of all ages would do well to stop looking at media and social media that glamorizes and objectifies women’s bodies because it often stirs up envy in others and insecurity in self.

The rules for anything can be learned, so figuring out the culture of dating is easy: make it be on your terms. Not hissy fit kind of selfishness terms, but know yourself. Be proud of your values. Be proud of who you are, and ensure that it is more than what you do. Likewise, make sure that you are reciprocally about more than just what t/s/he/y do or how much money t/s/he/y makes.

Make a game plan on how you want to meet people: through friends? At the grocery store? On dating sites/apps? Be aware that online dating is not usually very fun for anyone and can be just as addictive as any other kind of online shopping where choice is ridiculous and abundant. You are not a light fixture or a side of beef, and neither is whoever you’re looking for. Remember to humanize all experiences when getting out there to date again. And TELL a trusted buddy where you’re going, with whom, And what time you expect to check in after.. 

And LOVE yourself. Do that before you ever even go on one date with anyone.

Pitfalls to avoid when dating after a divorce 

If your last dating experience was somewhere between 1986 and 2005, the rules have changed. Know WHO you are and WHAT you are seeking when getting out there. If you are interested in hooking up, you are likely not going to have any problems doing so, but be prepared for feeling like crap afterwards if you actually want them to see you for your awesomeness post-sex. Being GGG is great for people already in relationship, or people who do not want a relationship, but if you are a woman who wants to be in an intimate relationship with someone, being GGG is a euphemism for being super cool adapting to a man’s playing field…or anyone just looking for a hookup.

How to date after a divorce when you have children (young and grown up)

This is so tricky. Dating post-divorce when you have children is, I believe, one of the most underrated and most important things for a single parent to consider. Unless you were widowed, a divorce already signals that productive conflict and adaptation may not be in your wheelhouse, so be super clear about who you are, what you value, being consistent, and having radically honest conversation–first with yourself and then with whomever you date. 

Children need a lot of tenderness and care post a divorce, so parents who use any of their parenting time to go out and date casually or to find the next one are really doing a disservice to themselves, their agreement to be a good parent (which I say applies to anyone who is a parent–a fundamental expectation and tacit agreement to fulfill a contract that makes you the absolute model for precious and innocent souls in human skins), and certainly are doing a disservice to their children. This is not a judgment statement. This is the fact of parenting and the parenting agreement. 

And never bring your dating buddy home to meet your children until you know they are going to be an integral part of your life, and do be certain they merit meeting the most precious people in your world: those people you agreed to shepherd and guide throughout your life and theirs. Husbands and wives may be temporary, but we would do well as a society to stop discarding our children for our pussies or cocks.

How to get over the feeling that you’re cheating on your ex 

This just takes time. So take the time. If you feel like it’s cheating, your heart needs more time to recover.

How to pick the right partner 

Know yourself. Take the time to walk with discernment and self-awareness. Do NOT ignore even one red flag. Take the VIA Character assessment and Love Languages assessments before ever even thinking about settling in with someone. Couples who share values or have complementary values are much better off than those who have little in common but resumes or complementary sex parts. 

How to have sex for the first time after a divorce/long term relationship 

Have fun. Laugh. Breathe. Cry. TRUST this person who you are getting naked with and allowing some access to the inside of you. Remember oxytocin makes women bond, even after one time having sex, and it does NOT do that for men. Whatever you are feeling may bot be what he or she is feeling. This takes you back to Know Yourself. If you are being used as a hookup, is that going to be alright with you? If not, then do you feel you know this person well enough to risk that? 

Feel fresh. Use condoms if not in an exclusive monogamous relationship for a minimum of 6 months. 

Is dating as an older women awful? 

No, it is really fun. Especially when someone crosses the room to say hello, which is what I love the most. And a seasoned woman who knows herself is about the sexiest creature alive. 

Sarah Martin

Sarah Martin is a Dating Coach who helps high desire people create the relationships of their dreams, from connected and joyful hookups through to passionate and loving marriages.

How to get over the fear of dating again

Be gentle with yourself. It is normal to experience jitters when you start dating again after divorce. Take it one step at a time – don’t feel pressured to join every dating app or go to every singles event right away.

Allow yourself to get excited! Especially if you married early, the dating landscape may be totally different. While it can feel intimidating at first, ultimately it can be incredibly liberating. Dating as an older adult involves far less drama, and often far more pleasure, than dating as a teenager!

Pitfalls to avoid when dating after a divorce

Don’t compare and despair – spending a lot of time comparing your experiences of dating to friends or people on social media can stir up jealousy and self-doubt, if you let it.

Don’t rush into a new relationship – the temptation to rebound after a significant relationship ends can be intense. Allow yourself time to have fun, explore, meet people, and put your relationship with yourself first for a while!

Don’t let your imagination run wild – sometimes after divorce, you might find yourself fantasizing about the beginning of a passionate romance with the person you’re talking to before you’ve even been on a first date. The more energy you invest in this fantasy, the more it can hurt when it doesn’t come true.

Don’t share stories about dating with your ex – After years of sharing the details of your life with someone, it can almost feel like swapping stories of this next phase of life with your ex would make sense. In reality, talking about dating with your ex just winds up being painful.

How to get over the feeling that you’re cheating on your ex

First, allow yourself time to mourn. When a relationship ends, it is totally normal to experience grief. Time will help you to heal..

If you’re seeing new people, and you get the feeling that you’re cheating on your ex, know that this, too, shall pass! Remember – you spent years being a committed partner. You’ve trained your brain to see your ex that way. It is normally that it takes time for this to shift. When you have this feeling come up, take a moment and consciously remind yourself – I am no longer in a relationship with them, therefore I cannot cheat on them.

How to pick the right partner

Clarity is the key to finding the right partner after divorce. You need to get clear on what you want to experience with a partner and what you are available for. When you are clear, you’re able to communicate your desires clearly and filter for people who want the same things you do. If you can focus on only one thing, let it be clarity!

How to have sex for the first time after a divorce/long term relationship

Wait until you find someone you have good, smooth, open communication with. That person might be someone you meet once for a single encounter, they might be someone you continue to see, but hold off until you find someone you feel comfortable expressing yourself with.

The first time you have sex after divorce can come with a lot of feelings, and it’s different from person to person. You might feel exhilarated, sad, happy, lost, blissful, awkward, or something else. It’s normal. If you’re with someone who listens and communicates well, you’ll be better able to move the encounter at your own pace.

Is dating as an older women awful?

Oh hell no. Dating as an older woman is an extraordinary adventure if you allow it to be. You bring your experience, self-assurance, knowledge, and wisdom to dating as an older woman. You’re more discerning and more aware of what you like – follow that knowledge and desire! The more you stay focused on what you want, the more pleasure and joy you will experience!

The post 4 Experts Weigh In – How To Successfully Date After Divorce appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

In trying times such as these, who can blame us for wanting a little excitement!

The pandemic has made the world of love and sex a little more unusual, it can be difficult to navigate the do’s and don’ts. So we’ve enlisted the help of the world’s 50 top sexologists to bring you the The Essential Covid Love Guide.

Amanda Pasciucco

Tell us about yourself and your work? 

Amanda Pasciucco (pronounced Pa-shoe-ko) is a catalyst for igniting passion within romantic and sexual relationships! Pronouns – She / Her. She is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, an AASECT Continuing Education Provider, and an AASECT Supervisor-in-Training who owns a group private practice of sex-positive and body-positive licensed clinicians in West Hartford, CT. 

Amanda is a Latina, international coach & speaker who has been featured on CNN, PornHub, Playboy, Cosmopolitan, HuffPost, Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Maxim, Daily Mail and more! Amanda has helped transform the intimate lives of those struggling with infertility, sexless relationships, low-desire, arousal, orgasm, and penetration problems.

Over the last 10 years, thousands of individuals and couples have transformed their sexual lives with Amanda’s help. Because of this success, she has become known as “The Sex Healer” by her clients and colleagues.

Member Questions

Since my partner and I have had to limit contact with each other since the pandemic hit, we’ve tried to keep our sex life afloat. We’ve been doing video calls, where we both touch ourselves. They’re fun, but I’m worried because my partner never “finishes”, he always suddenly stops the mood with a bad joke or saying he’s got to go and do something. Is this something I should be worried about, is he starting to get bored of me? – Anonymous, 38

It seems like it is time to discuss this with your boyfriend. Ask him to make time to talk about something you observe happening during your sexting video calls. 

When you plan a time to talk – set at least 30 minutes aside uninterrupted – make sure you also lock the door to the room you are in so ensure privacy. 

Then, consider asking your boyfriend if he is noticing a pattern during these calls (during a time where you are not in the middle of a video call touching yourselves). Utilize Nonviolent Communication strategies such as observations, stating your feelings, your needs, and then make a request. 

Judgements and assumptions rarely get us the results we want in sexuality and pleasure. 

Therefore, instead of coming at him with worry and fear that he is bored, I would make an observation like: I have noticed that when we our having sexy videocall dates, you are in a pattern of not orgasming. When that happens, a part of me feels confused because my need is to connect with you and ensure that you are feeling valued and connected to me through pleasure. I am wondering if you have noticed this pattern, and if there are ways that you think we can both feel valued and connected going forward that are mutually beneficial for both of us.  

Any date ideas for a guy looking to ask someone out in the middle of a pandemic? – Martin, 22

Yes! Because we can’t meet people out in the world during the pandemic, social media is actually helpful for dating and date ideas.  

• If you are online dating, and you find this person on social media or a dating profile…. Respond to something they have in their social media profile that you are direct messaging about. If they write about hiking… ask their favorite local place to hike. 

• If you never met them, and you have a mutual friend or want to “cold message” them on social media, introduce yourself before friending them. 
  • “Hi I’m ____ from _______. I messaged you because you and I seem to have _____ as interests. I would like to get to know you more if you have time or willingness for that in your life.” 

• To build safety with someone you are meeting online, or reconnecting with after a long time… 
  • “Would you like to FaceTime before meeting in person?” 
  • This helps with the awkwardness that may happen if you just show up without connecting first. 
  • Usually people will say yes, as they want to experience your energy 

• Then, if you make it past these stages, an outdoor date is a good first option. 
  • Mini golfing or outdoor ice skating if the weather permits
  • Going to outdoor meetup.com events with masks on
  • Avoiding your usual first kiss moves and getting more intimately creative.
    • Consider that depth of connection will intensify since everyone is somewhat contained and “trapped” in their homes now, so emotions are running high for most people. Fears about if you are positive for the virus may impend on your first date yet getting tested together if you have symptoms is something to consider. 
    • There is a lot of pleasure in heavy petting – yet be careful not to expose yourself if the room you are in isn’t ventilated. 

Do you have projects coming soon we should keep an eye out for?

During 2020, I launched my webinar series. I have created webinar material for Male Performance Anxiety and Next Level Satisfaction for the Female O. In January 2021, I will be unveiling more webinars – including those on communication for adults and kinky sex for couples.

Shasta Townsend

Tell us about yourself and your work? 

We’re Shasta Townsend and Ian Lavalley of 7 Star Love. We’re married holistic sex-perts and relationship consultants on a mission to help you — whether you’re single or a couple — create a potent pathway to sacred love. 

Because monogamy doesn’t have to be monotony. 

Using a powerful mix of neuroscience, sacred sex, Indigenous practices and Universal Laws, we’ve discovered how to create 7-Star Love: divinely delicious sex and a lasting, sizzling-hot connection that satisfies your soul. And we’ve helped hundreds of people enjoy 7-Star Love & Intimacy too. www.7starlove.com

Member Questions

All my female friends are married, I’m 52, single and perfectly happy for them, I’m also perfectly happy being single. However, I always feel like there’s a sense of judgement from them, that I’ve failed or I’m secretly miserable or something. Especially with Covid, they see me as lonely. How do I convince them I’m totally happy embracing my sexual freedom? – Anonymous, 52

Answer:  You don’t. 

You can’t convince someone of what is true for you. You just live your Truth and know it.  

However, consider WHY it matters to you that your friends may have judgement, or better yet, stop tolerating it. Be bold and lovingly tell your friends that you are no longer open to talk about your love life if they can’t be supportive. 

Tell them what support looks like. For example, “When you say X, I hear that as judgement. I’m curious about that. What’s going on? I know you love me, but that does NOT feel supportive.”

You are allowed and in fact encouraged to have boundaries with friends too. Boundaries create freedom and allow us to be fully expressed. 

It’s the first night me and my new boyfriend are spending together. He’s almost 15 years my junior. I’m so nervous! How can I get over these nerves? I’m so worried he’s going to see me as an unattractive older woman. – Anonymous, 41

First, most of us have some level of nervousness when we have sex with a new partner the first time. 

Consider, that this is just a natural part of moving to “the next level”, and that’s its new and unfamiliar, right now.  

Second, understand that your mind tells you stories to keep you “safe” – that is out of the unfamiliar and unknown. 

The story of being an “unattractive older woman” is just that – a story. 

Is it one you want to tell yourself?

Consider the Truth – if you’ve gotten to the point that clothes are coming off, he clearly does NOT see you as an unattractive older woman. 

Consider that your partner may feel just as nervous.

Consider that this COULD be the BEST SEX of your life.

Consider ACTING as if you are the hottest, sexiest, most confident “older woman” out there and he is blessed to be sleeping with you!

You can turn off the fearful mind and turn on the sexy, alluring switch. Go for it, and ENJOY yourself too

Do you have projects coming soon we should keep an eye out for?

We are currently accepting select high achieving women who wish to work with us to embrace their sexual energy as THE power source to experience not just ecstatic orgasmic bliss, but also the source to 10X wealth, health and success. Embody the Alluring Woman archetype and take the path of potent Sacred Sex + 7 Star Love. Learn more at https://www.7starlove.com/work-with-us/

Sandra Larson

Tell us about yourself and your work? 

Sandra is a nurse originally from Chicago but is now living in Cheyenne,
Wyoming, with her husband Tim, their two children, and two dogs. In 2016
she founded My Sex Toy Guide, where she and a team of experts give
relationship advice, write about LGBTQ topics and other topics
concerning sexuality and health.

Member Questions

I’ve been dating someone for a little while now and things have been going well, however us having to quarantine away from each other has started to take a strain on the relationship. My partner has suggested I move in with her, which would be great, the issue is she still lives with her elederly parents. Am I wrong to think this would be beyond awkward? Can we honestly engage in “adult behaviour” with her parents in the next room or should we resign ourselves to celibacy for the duration of my stay? – Anonymous, 29

Hello there,
Living at home with your parents is a normal thing, especially when
you’re in college or you’ve just finished school. Everyone’s
circumstances are different, and most people resort to cohabiting with
their parents to save up money and move out. Personally, I moved out a
few months after graduating and have never looked back. Of course, I
have friends who are 25+ years and still live in their childhood
bedroom.

So, I would advise that you get to know why she’s still living with her
parents. Is she in the middle of a job transition? Or maybe saving up to
move out? Is she ‘afraid’ to live away from her mom?  Depending on the
reason, you can decide whether to move in or not. If she’s working on
something to move out eventually, then that’s okay because you’ll only
be around for a while? And even then, it helps to have a rough estimate
of when you should move from her parent’s house.

On the other hand, if your partner is afraid to move out and unable to
take care of herself, I wouldn’t recommend moving to her parents’ house.
Basically, if there’s no real plan on how you’re going to live by
yourself soon, don’t do it.

I’ve noticed I’ve been masturbating a lot more since the pandemic lockdown hit. How much is too much? – Carol

Hey Carol,
To start with, there are numerous benefits of masturbation, including
stress reduction, physical and mental wellbeing improvement, and sleep
quality enhancement. However, masturbation is considered excessive or
too much if it affects your relationships and everyday life. If it
causes you to miss school, work, important social events, or even skip
your daily activities, it’s too much, Carol. In such a scenario,
distract your mind by going for a walk, evening jog, or even reading a
journal.

Do you have projects coming soon we should keep an eye out for?

In 2021 Sandra will launch her own branded products. Keep an eye out!

Sandra Larson is a nurse, relationship expert, and the co-founder
of My Sex Toy Guide (https://www.mysextoyguide.com) — a hub for sexual
health and wellness content.

Megan Harrison

Tell us about yourself and your work? 

Of course! I’m Megan, and I’m the founder of Couples Candy – a project that provides couples with information for happy and successful relationships. I like to write guides and blogs that offer helpful relationship advice. I’m currently living in Tampa, Florida, and offer my services as a marriage and family therapist. Aside from work, I love traveling and sports!

Member Questions

So, someone’s just asked me out on a socially distanced date, how in the world is that going to work? Help – Sarah, 35

Socially distanced dates have the potential to be fun and memorable. Furthermore, let’s not forget that what really makes a great date is the company you are with and the connection you build while getting to know one another. If you’d prefer not to go out for an outdoor stroll with your date, you can get creative with ideas! Try making cocktails together, or if you’re adventurous, something like paintballing! Remember, it’s all about having fun while being respectful of government guidelines.

My fiance and I have been spending a lot more time together since lockdown, we’re both working from home. I’m starting to think it’s taking a toll on our relationship, we’re becoming very stuck in our ways and habitual. How do we spice things up because I’m worried this could end our relationship if we’re not careful. – Anonymous, 49

Remaining indoors for lengthy periods of time presents enormous challenges. You are not alone by any means. Millions of couples around the world are struggling with the lockdown restrictions. But remember, relationships are also strengthened when met with significant challenges. I’d suggest trying to start showing compassion for one another, and taking small steps to rebuild your connection. 

Arrange to spend more time together outside of your work schedules to try some new hobbies or activities. Exploring each other’s interests is a great way to show affection towards each other, and it might also lead to some new and fun experiences. It may not be your ideal type of entertainment, but why not give it a shot? It could strengthen your connection, and you might just like it! Sharing hobbies helps to break down a wall and allows you to gain deeper insights into each other’s passions. It also shows you are willing to compromise for each other.

Do you have projects coming soon we should keep an eye out for?

I’ll be continuing to publish more content on my blog! I’ve put together some recent articles such as how to give your man space. 2021 is shaping up to be a busy year, and I’ll also be putting together some more comprehensive guides like my guide to the Kama Sutra. So please feel free to keep an eye on it! 

The post The World’s Top 50 Sexologists Presents: The Essential Covid Love Guide – Part 1 appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.