I have been considering the enduring concept of the older woman being a fantasy for the younger man. Personally, I have no problem with being the subject of somebody’s fantasy. In fact, in a strange way, it broadens your view of yourself. But what are the qualities, within the context, that put us into that league?
“I’m looking for a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it”, sound familiar? Perhaps it is within this sentence that the answer lies!
Let’s break it down. ‘A woman who knows what she wants’ – Well, after years of learning to recognise what you don’t want, knowing what you do want suddenly lands itself in the realms of the blatantly obvious. What I want is simplicity, purity, clarity (and muscles, but that didn’t really fit!). I want a man to be exactly that, a man. The perfect counter to me. If he delivers that, then all of the woman I am is there for the taking. It doesn’t need to be complicated, just highly charged and thrilling. My life is very busy, full of responsibilities and commitments. I want to create a place to indulge a very important part of my spirit and appreciate fully just ‘being’ with someone. For me there is nothing more intimate than being totally enthralled with someone in a glorious bubble and then disappearing back into your respective worlds.
Of course, I am well aware of the literal interpretation of this part of the sentence. One can but smile at the image of the young man asking “What does Madam want?” as an A La Carte menu of erotic delights awaits casually on the bed…. Oh dear, reel me back!
Let’s move on to the ‘knows how to get it’ part. Those of you who have read my previous articles, may remember my Burlesque adventure. How, through Burlesque, I discovered the on/off switch. The trouble is I don’t always know when it’s switched on. I was crossing the road a few days ago, laden with two heavy bags of groceries. A pair of very cute twenty something men were walking towards me. Suddenly one elbowed the other and audibly said ‘Look, milf!’ (delightful, I know). The other caught my eye and said, in my face, ‘Wow’! I smiled knowingly and carried on walking. I wasn’t aware the switch was on, I was trying to work out how much time I had to create a dinner before taking my son to basketball! I think, as older women, many of us have a handle on our presence and, if we are comfortable with who we are, I think this can be very appealing to younger men. With this self awareness comes an aversion to game playing. I am convinced that getting what we want gets easier when we really aren’t bothered about how others see us because we are happy with who we are. Here I am, take it or leave it…I think you’ll find they’ll take it!
Again, I am aware of the literal meaning of the ‘and knows how to get it’ part of the sentence. All I think that is though, is a lesson learnt over time. Many women, of all ages I suspect, place the responsibility for sex being good, firmly with the man. It is only when you understand that it is the woman who brings the eroticism which, when coupled with a man’s attributes, makes the experience all it can be. This state of affairs requires mental and physical effort on both sides but the rewards speak for themselves. Our younger counterparts are often still locked in the self conscious, self doubting part of their lives. Still needing positive affirmation of who they are and, ultimately looking for a completely different end game. Being a woman takes years of practice to get right.
A final word for the men, who I do hope will read this. The extraordinarily glamorous Rita Hayworth is reported to have said ‘All the men I met fell in love with Gilda but woke up with me.’ She is referring to the fact that men fell in love with the character Gilda, she played in the film of the same name. They woke up, however, with Rita Hayworth. She clearly felt men came to her with unfounded expectations. Remember, gentlemen, appreciate and explore the depth of the woman in front of you. She is bound to be more exciting than a one dimensional fantasy. Be brave enough to reveal the man you really are, she’ll know what to do with him!!
By Three Wishes
