Technology – Toyboy Warehouse https://toyboywarehouse.com Toyboy and cougar dating Thu, 19 Jan 2017 14:36:51 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.2.23 Texting https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/texting/ https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/texting/#respond Fri, 03 Feb 2017 17:27:30 +0000 https://toyboywarehouse.com/?p=5305

Online messaging doesn’t count as talking. In the growing technological world more and more people spend most of their time talking through via text. Not so much as a phone call now but a text. Texts are easier, faster and cheaper but not so useful for full blown conversations. Especially with newly blossoming romantic interests […]

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Online messaging doesn’t count as talking.

In the growing technological world more and more people spend most of their time talking through via text. Not so much as a phone call now but a text. Texts are easier, faster and cheaper but not so useful for full blown conversations. Especially with newly blossoming romantic interests a text isn’t as simple as a conversation, it is a carefully orchestrated battle in which each contestant attempts to make themselves look cool, funny and attractive. The problem is the time, there is too much time to think about your reply. I’ve met people who actively check their reply with a friend to make sure there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s unbelievable, a focus group for text replies.

With a real conversation, unless you want to come across as slightly broken, a response is expected within at most 5 seconds. A text response can be hours or even days, organising a coffee with a friend can take so long that there’s no point by the time they reply. To add to the cons of texting, having to tap away a paragraph is an arduous experience, whereas a quick phone call is simple and to the point.

A few of my friends have begun to seriously like girls by the majority of conversations through texts or facebook, they talk for days and days… by text. It’s ridiculous, everything can be hidden, every sentence is constructed and so no response is ever really true. It’s not you replying but the person you think they would fancy.

Most of us have likely seen the TV show “Catfish” where online pen pals track down their internet lovers and more often than not discover their soul mates are not quite what they expected. The most recent episode I’ve seen, a man travelled across America to find his tall beautiful, blond internet girlfriend only to be informed she’s actually a 300 pound man called Steve. I know that texting a girl or guy you met at a bar isn’t as bad as “Catfish” but don’t rely on just the text, it will fizzle out fast.

The text to actual social interaction isn’t a tricky evolution, you’ve already sparked their interest so just be forward. Ladies you can also initiate it as well, this is the 21st century. Ask them for a coffee or an alcoholic evening drink or if you’re feeling especially nervous, organise a group meet “A few friends and I are going to (Local bar) tomorrow night, grab a few friends and come along”. The best part about the group invite is that there is no pressure, it doesn’t have the label of a “Date” but we both know the only reason they’re both there is for each other.

We live in a hugely technological reliant world and a lot of the techy stuff is brilliant but not the texts. You will learn more about each other in one night of face-to-face interaction than a week of that online chitchat.  This could save so much time, you could quickly realise that they aren’t for you, instead of floating along imagining the person on the other end of the text is your soul mate.

Call don’t text!

 

 

 

 

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No reply? Here’s why. https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/no-one-replying-to-online-dating-messages-heres-why/ https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/no-one-replying-to-online-dating-messages-heres-why/#respond Wed, 29 Jul 2015 15:18:39 +0000 https://toyboywarehouse.com/?p=7054

Fed up with your inbox? You’re not alone. I’ve rejoined the site recently after a long break, and my inbox has been filling up ever since. OK, that sounds really vain; let me explain. My inbox has been filled with the following; “Hey” “Hey!” “Hi’ “Hey beautiful xxx” “Looking for fun!” Occasionally it’s interspersed with […]

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Fed up with your inbox? You’re not alone.

I’ve rejoined the site recently after a long break, and my inbox has been filling up ever since. OK, that sounds really vain; let me explain. My inbox has been filled with the following;

“Hey”

“Hey!”

“Hi’

“Hey beautiful xxx”

“Looking for fun!”

Occasionally it’s interspersed with longer messages;

“You look like just the kind of woman I’m looking for, please read my profile and get in touch”

“Hi my name is [x] and [several paragraphs on where they live, what they do, their personality traits as a list] Look forward to hearing from you!”

And finally, the reason why I’m writing this;

“Is there a reason why you’re not replying?”

Yes, yes there is. Here are a few reasons why I may not reply to you.

1. There’s nothing to respond to.

‘Hi’ or ‘Hey’ give me no way into a conversation. What do I reply with, another ‘hi’ or ‘hey’? Our conversation feels doomed to progress as follows;

“Hi”

“Hi”

“How are you?”

“Good thanks. You?”

“Yeah, good thanks”

“Good”

“Yeah, good”

I actually fell asleep while writing that. I know small talk has its place, but there’s talk that’s so small, its very reason for existing is microscopic.

Do I want to begin a conversation with someone who appears from the very outset to be a poor conversationalist? I’m sorry, but no thank you. No wonder there’s the idea that, despite their youthful physical attributes, some older women think this;

“Just a thought on the younger man-older woman relationship — although the loving arms of a young teddy bear may be comforting — good sex may not be enough to bridge the daily conversation and friendship gap.” Read more.

Give me a compelling reason to respond, make it EASY for me to respond, and maybe I’ll respond. Deal?

2. You’re playing a numbers game

Whenever I receive a message that appears to be a cut-and-paste jobby sent to many MANY women, I automatically switch off.

These include the brief ‘Hi!” from the above all the way to the incredibly long essays extolling virtues including (but not confined to) age, career, location, relationship history, character/personality traits, sexual prowess, physical attributes. All without any indication of having read my profile.

It feels like I’m being broadcast to by a particularly indiscriminate advertiser; “Madam! Are you over 35 and have a vagina? YOU MEET OUR CRITERIA HERE HAVE A PRIZE”

It’s kind of horrible to receive, if I’m honest. It feels like you’re messaging me simply because I have something you’d like to stick your willy into. My sense of humour? My intelligence? The way I swirled an armful of words into a profile that’s honest, inspired and true? Nope, just an aperture for your willy.

URGH.

3. I’m just not into you

Women get this all the time; had a great date with a guy who ghosted straight after? In what seemed to be a relationship and then never heard from them again?

And the message that generally comes out of these painful experiences? They just weren’t into you, honey. Here, have all the Ben and Jerry’s. No really, I bought you a tub ‘specially.

It’s really really rare that I see someone I want to get to know better. I mean, it’s not quite up there with unicorns and hen’s teeth, but it’s pretty damn close. And then, it’s another rare step again for someone to interest me enough to meet them. I haven’t replied to you? Don’t worry, you’re in the vast majority. You’re normal.

So if I don’t reply, I’m really sorry. On the plus side I’m not going to ghost you after we meet, right?

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How To Talk Dirty https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/talk-dirty/ https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/talk-dirty/#respond Mon, 01 Sep 2014 17:17:42 +0000 https://toyboywarehouse.com/?p=4750

Talking to people is easy enough, but in the bedroom things tend to get a little harder, or at least they can be with the right dirty talk… Yes, mouths can be used for other than foreplay in the bedroom, with equally stimulating results. Dirty talk can help break tension whilst maintaining and even increasing […]

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Talking to people is easy enough, but in the bedroom things tend to get a little harder, or at least they can be with the right dirty talk…

Yes, mouths can be used for other than foreplay in the bedroom, with equally stimulating results. Dirty talk can help break tension whilst maintaining and even increasing sexual arousal, and just like foreplay, it takes practise to make perfect.

“…there are soft and hard options to dirty talk…”

Talking dirty with a new sexual partner can be awkward, but awkward silences can be more of a mood killer. Certain words with certain people can ruin the romance in bed, as not everyone enjoys the finely tuned and polished scripts of pornography. Just like pornography, there are soft and hard options to dirty talk, and not everyone is ready to jump straight into the XXX talk. For instance the C-words are dirty talk standard issue, but not everyone feels comfortable using them, so try not to throw C-words about willy-nilly and choose your timing.

Encouragement: If you are enjoying whatever your partner is doing, tell them. Though groaning and the curling of toes are a good sign, giving a verbal affirmation of what your partner is doing is a good way to keep your toes curling.

Direction: It’s tough, but if you aren’t enjoying what your partner is doing, it’s better to make a subtle suggestion to do something you would much rather enjoy. We know our own bodies best, and our partners may need directions to our particular places of interest if they get a little lost.

Complimentary: Flattery will get you everywhere. Giving compliments in the bedroom helps bolster confidence in your partner if they’re self-conscious, and being naked around someone can make the most confident of people conscious of their body. Be flattering, tell them what you like about their body and why.

Command: Some people like to take charge in bed, and some people like to be taken charge of in bed. To get what you want in bed, instead of a subtle direction, sometimes a direct command will make your partner come to attention.

Being able to talk dirty doesn’t always come naturally to everyone, and the levels of dirtiness need to be taken step by step rather than leaping straight into the dirt.

Remember:

It’s good to be dirty, but it’s rude to talk with your mouth full.

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The Modern Guide To Textiquette https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/modern-guide-textiquette/ https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/modern-guide-textiquette/#respond Wed, 06 Aug 2014 15:23:42 +0000 https://toyboywarehouse.com/?p=4430

Textiquette (or text etiquette, for those who don’t like hastily thrown together abbreviations) is a beast – hard to grasp and even harder to tame, like the great white whale, or a particularly nefarious badger. But it’s something everyone who is in dating game needs a firm hand on, so here are a few tips […]

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Textiquette (or text etiquette, for those who don’t like hastily thrown together abbreviations) is a beast – hard to grasp and even harder to tame, like the great white whale, or a particularly nefarious badger. But it’s something everyone who is in dating game needs a firm hand on, so here are a few tips to help all you fast fingered fiends lay off a bit, and maybe improve your chances.

 

Don’t just text the same old rubbish – Save ‘Hi, how are you?’ for your dear old granny, because it’s very boring. Everyone gets texts like that from their contacts every couple of months, but you don’t want to be a friend, you want to excite your prospective partner to the point that they’ll actually meet you in person! So instead of something bland try being witty, or failing that try being more interesting than the same conversation everyone has had with everyone they have ever met.

 

Don’t bombard them! –  Too many texts imply you have too much time and too few friends, you creeper. Limit it to strictly one text for every one they send you. People have lives; they’re often busy no matter how much they like you. If they get home and find fifteen texts detailing what a good time you had the other night, and several picture messages of wedding cakes (just for fun, of course) it’s going to seem a bit stalker-esque.

 

Achieve your goals early – If you’re texting to ask for a date it should probably take a few days of odd texting to ask, anything more than that is a bit too much. Save your actual conversation for when you go out in the real world, texts at an early stage are meant to be fun little flirty things, like passing notes in class. You want to know if they like you so just ask, then once you get on your date pull out your old origami fortune teller and use it to demand they do your bidding. (If you don’t remember those, you had no friends at school and you probably haven’t lived!)

 

Always end conversations early – Once you’ve said something funny or interesting and they’ve enjoyed it, for God’s sake leave! Most comedians leave on their best joke, and there’s a reason for it. The more time you talk to someone via text, the more chances there are of things being taken the wrong way, or of you saying something stupid. If you make your excuses and leave a conversation before you’ve prattled on for twenty minutes there’s a much better chance of your text buddy wanting to talk to you again.

 

All these tips should work as long as you can actually hold a conversation and don’t just say ‘I really fancy you! If I buy you dinner can I touch your face with my lips please’. Aside from that being my personal copyrighted chat up line, it probably won’t work. You can tell people how much you like them once you see them in person, so keep your idle hands busy with another hobby, such as knitting or the devil’s work.

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Toying Around: A History of Adult Play https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/history-adult-play/ https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/history-adult-play/#respond Thu, 31 Jul 2014 13:27:26 +0000 https://toyboywarehouse.com/?p=4444

Adult sex toys, they come in all shapes and sizes: ‘Neck’ massagers, Love Beads, Love Bullets, Vibrating Eggs, Dildos, Wands, and, of course, the Rampant Rabbit. For women, the list is as long and as varied as your imagination can stretch. Whereas men get sexual gratification alone from anything close to hand, or if they’re […]

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Adult sex toys, they come in all shapes and sizes: ‘Neck’ massagers, Love Beads, Love Bullets, Vibrating Eggs, Dildos, Wands, and, of course, the Rampant Rabbit.

For women, the list is as long and as varied as your imagination can stretch. Whereas men get sexual gratification alone from anything close to hand, or if they’re feeling adventurous, their left hand.

Vibration-is-life
An advertisement from 1910

Sex toys are as old as sex itself. The first vibrator in Britain was used to treat women of their ‘hysteria’, but more likely to help the qualified physicians that originally gave the treatments, who complained of wrist ache and boredom. The very first stone dildos are on display in museums, and are older than most countries. As soon as homosapien men learned to use tools from stone, homosapien women were using stone tools of their own.

 

Nowadays the anal retentiveness of Victorian society regarding sex is slowly being forgotten, and the carefree libertarian view of sex is being remembered. The Earl of Rochester, a nobleman and courtier of King Charles the Second (Johnny Depp plays the Earl in the 2004 film The Libertine), wrote a poem titled Signior Dildo:

 

You’ll take him at first for no Person of Note

Because he appears in a plain Leather Coat:

But when you his virtuous Abilities know

You’ll fall down and Worship Signior Dildo.

Toyboy Warehouse history of vibrators

Despite being written in the 1600’s, the poem can still make an Ann Summers catalog owner today blush. Dildos have, are, and will be used by women, and thanks to catalogs like Ann Summers, sexual liberty for women is becoming more of a reality. Though perhaps the Earl of Rochester enjoyed too much sexual liberty, dying of venereal disease by the time he was thirty three. It’s important to have sexual freedom, but more important to have sexual restraint.

 

As a general rule, sex toys for women are phallic shaped and can mostly fit in any hand luggage. Sex toys for men however are less discreet, some being dolls that require inflating, perhaps the only blow job in foreplay that can cause asphyxiation. Though when an infallible doll goes down on you, you need a puncture repair kit to get it back up again.

 

 “There are people who engage in relationships, even marriages, with their sex toys.”

 

For those men who take their toys seriously, there are full sized replicas of the female body made with fully mobile joints and silicone skin, a sexual doll six times the size of Barbie and six hundred times the price. There are some people have given up with dating and are self-confessed iDollators, people who engage in relationships, even marriages, with their sex toys. There are different strokes for different folks I guess, but I imagine the conversations of their dinner parties get rather wooden. Playing with dolls is all very well, but it makes the saying of seeing ‘women as sex objects’ rather apt, and more than uncanny.

 

It is entirely possible to enjoy a sex toy without putting a ring on it. Variety is the spice of life, and adding a sprinkle of chilli powder in the bedroom is sure to spice things up, but adding an entire jar can bring tears to the eyes, metaphorically. The idea that a partner is finding sexual gratification elsewhere, even by themselves, can be a blow to anyone’s ego. So be gentle when sharing your favourite toys with your partners, they may get jealous that a lump of plastic made in China is more sexually gratifying than their own lump.

 

“…enjoy sex properly instead of just toying around…”

 

Sexual gratification with sex toys can feel better than with a human partner because we know our own bodies better than anyone else. If our partners don’t know or aren’t told what our bodies desire, then we’ll go wanting in terms of gratification and go back to playing with toys instead. As long as we are honest with our sexual partners about what we want, then we can begin to enjoy sex properly instead of just toying around.

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Ask Wendy Part 2: Your Relationship Problems Solved https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/ask-experts/ https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/ask-experts/#respond Mon, 30 Jun 2014 21:18:18 +0000 https://toyboywarehouse.com/?p=4256

Dating and relationship problems. We all have them. Now there’s somewhere to share them. Get answers to all of those questions that you just can’t ask anyone else right here. Whatever the issue may be, whether you’re embarking on a brand new relationship with someone onsite, terminally single and looking or just plain lost, Toyboy […]

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Dating and relationship problems.

We all have them. Now there’s somewhere to share them.

Get answers to all of those questions that you just can’t ask anyone else right here.

Whatever the issue may be, whether you’re embarking on a brand new relationship with someone onsite, terminally single and looking or just plain lost, Toyboy Warehouses’ relationship experts are on hand to give you answers to all your questions. Simply email your question(s) to [email protected] and each week, 4 of them will be solved by one of our Toyboy Warehouse experts. The answers will be published on our blog – but don’t worry, your name won’t appear! There’s no judgement, just free and friendly advice.

This week, your questions were answered by author and expert Toyboy Warehouse member Wendy Salisbury. All names have been changed, so don’t try to guess who this may be!

Wendy Salisbury Relationship and Dating Expert for Toyboy Warehouse

To see your questions answered in this space next time, simply email them to [email protected]


You asked:

I’ve dated two women from the site and both relationships have ended because our connection was physical and not emotional. I just don’t know how to keep an older woman interested, how can I make sure she won’t get bored? – Robert, 28

Wendy replied:

Hi Robert,

It’s rare for individuals to click on every level.  In fact, it’s a miracle if they do!  A physical connection is wonderful – it means there’s good chemistry there – but the mental connection can be harder to achieve.  It may not be you, though; some women find it hard to engage emotionally especially if they’ve been hurt before.  They may just be trying to protect themselves and not give too much away.

As with all relationships, try to find common ground: books, movies, music, family, travel, art.  Two intelligent people, no matter their age difference, can always find something to talk about.  Making each other laugh is also important but try to avoid telling jokes – if she’s older then you, she may well have heard them before!

If you’ve only had this experience with two women, keep on trying.  Maybe the women you met were not the right ones for you.

Dating is like life: you can’t get on with everybody!

Best of luck!

Wendy


 You asked:

My face is well-known in my industry, I have a top-class reputation that I’ve worked really hard to achieve. But this can make dating really complicated for me. Sometimes I’ve even hidden my name from dates in the past because I don’t want to meet men who want me for my money/status. Do you have any advice to help me spot and avoid the wrong kind of guy? – Vivienne, 46

Wendy replied:

 Hi Vivienne,

As with any situation, avoiding the wrong route is mostly a matter of instinct and intuition.  Do you trust the person you’re talking to?  Do they seem genuinely interested in who you are, even if they know WHO YOU ARE?  It’s flattering to be recognized but not if they’re going to build on their reputation by bragging about yours.

A younger guy will probably be more impressionable so you may want to avoid the 20-somethings (as cute as they may be).  Go for someone in their late 30s or 40s – at least they’ll be more grounded with more life experience.

There will always be a social imbalance when the female is wealthier than the male.  He can, of course, bring other qualities to the party but finances are a delicate matter.  The words Sugar Daddy exist for a reason and if you don’t want to become a Sugar Mummy, you must start as you mean to continue i.e. keep a hold on your purse. You don’t want to become a meal ticket or effectively be paying for sex.  You may as well hire a gigolo!

With regard to your high profile, if your date turned out to be a hot young Hollywood actor or even George Clooney, imagine how you’d react?  It is human nature to be impressed by fame and fortune, but a real gentleman should remain cool and unruffled rather than ask you for your autograph.

The best judge of any situation is always your gut feeling, so have faith and trust in that. There are good men out there who will respect you no matter who you are or what you do.  You just have to sort the wheat from the chaff (or in this case the sweet from the chav).

Best of luck!

Wendy


If you’d like answers to any questions that you have, send them in to [email protected]

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Ask Wendy: Your Relationship Problems Solved By Our Experts https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/ask-the-experts-your-relationship-problems-solved-by-us/ https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/ask-the-experts-your-relationship-problems-solved-by-us/#respond Tue, 17 Jun 2014 19:53:46 +0000 https://toyboywarehouse.com/?p=4207

Sometimes a problem pops up and it’s something you just can’t share with your family and friends. Luckily Toyboy Warehouse are giving you the chance to air your relationship worries – anonymously! – and in return you get some real, intelligent advice from our panel of male and female dating experts. Our experts are notable […]

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Sometimes a problem pops up and it’s something you just can’t share with your family and friends. Luckily Toyboy Warehouse are giving you the chance to air your relationship worries – anonymously! – and in return you get some real, intelligent advice from our panel of male and female dating experts. Our experts are notable faces who you will recognize both from their presence on Toyboy Warehouse and their accomplishments in the world beyond. What they all share is tried and tested experience of what it’s like dating in our niche.

Four of you have already submitted your problems for the attention of the first of our female experts, the beautiful and accomplished Wendy Salisbury. All names have been changed, so don’t try to guess who this may be!

Wendy Salisbury Relationship and Dating Expert for Toyboy Warehouse

To see your questions answered in this space next time, email them to [email protected]


You asked:

I get incredibly nervous before I go on a first-date. I often start stuttering, sometimes I forget to zip my flies and once or twice I’ve even run away before she arrived. How can I have more confidence when meeting an older woman for the first time?    – Tom, 35

Wendy replied:

Hi Tom,

First dates and blind dates can be very daunting because neither of you knows what to expect.  It doesn’t matter how well you’ve got on in cyberspace… one always has more courage shielded by a screen! Physically meeting face-to-face is nerve-wracking for everyone, so you’re not alone there.

Running away is not a good idea because

a) you’ll feel guilty and

b) she’ll think she’s been stood up.  You have to tough it out if you’ve gone to the trouble of making the date in the first place. After all, what’s the worst that can happen?

If you’re not brave enough to keep the date, it’s best to say so beforehand and save her the journey.  You can always rearrange, but you’ll probably only get two shots at it.  If you’re not at the appointed place at the appointed time, your date will give up on you altogether or send you an angry message for having left her standing.  That’s a lose/lose situation whichever way you pitch it!

As for ‘wardrobe malfunctions’, ALWAYS check your flies before leaving home, in the same way that you check that you have your keys and mobile.

Once you have met, the best way to defuse any nerves is to admit to them. Remember, your date may be just as nervous as you. Smile, stand up to greet her if you’re there first and say ‘Hi! I don’t know about you, but I’m really nervous!’

Confidence needs building over time.  It’s perfectly normal to feel insecure in new situations. We’re all insecure about something: our looks, our clothes, our lack of knowledge on certain subjects.  If you get tongue-tied, take a deep breath, drop your shoulders, and pay your date a compliment. Even if it seems banal, say: ‘I like your top/dress/hair/shoes.’  That will break the ice. Then ask her about her day: how was her journey?  Did she come straight from work?

Once the conversation starts to flow, your stutter should abate and your voice should settle down.  The first drink usually helps as well!

Best of Luck!

Wendy x

 


You asked: 

I’ve been messaging someone on Toyboy Warehouse regularly for about three months. He’s charming, easy on the eye (in his photos at least!) and keen to meet up. The only issue is he says he is looking for something serious and while he lives in Edinburgh, I live in London. Can something long-distance work?   – Sarah, 48

Wendy replied: 

Hi Sarah,

I’m afraid that unless you have a regular rendezvous planned – every other weekend or even once a month for instance – long-distance relationships do struggle to survive.  You’re starting with a geographical challenge, although with today’s myriad methods of communication, you can at least keep in touch in many different ways.

You really need to meet first if you’re going to progress this.  The chemistry that may be present in your current contact may fly out the window the minute you set eyes on each other then the problem will no longer exist.  It’s all very well having an ‘imaginary’ boyfriend/girlfriend, but nothing beats the real thing.

Edinburgh is a long way from London so if your guy wants something serious he should probably be looking closer to home.  This may sound harsh but it is realistic.  If he’s hooked on you and it’s feasible to do, either he or you should be prepared to relocate.

So, in the first instance, MEET – even halfway? – and see if you click.  If not, nothing lost.  If so, you’ve got something to build on.

Best of luck!

Wendy x


If you’d like answers to any questions that you have, send them in to [email protected]

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Top 5 Toyboy Dating Mistakes https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/top-5-toyboy-dating-mistakes/ https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/top-5-toyboy-dating-mistakes/#respond Wed, 28 May 2014 16:38:53 +0000 https://toyboywarehouse.com/?p=3981

So you’ve signed up, uploaded a couple of photos and written a few lines about your hobbies. That’s all a toyboy has to do to watch the date offers roll in, right? Wrong. If you’re new to the online dating game or not having much luck, check the following advice and avoid making some of […]

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So you’ve signed up, uploaded a couple of photos and written a few lines about your hobbies. That’s all a toyboy has to do to watch the date offers roll in, right? Wrong.

If you’re new to the online dating game or not having much luck, check the following advice and avoid making some of the most common mistakes a toyboy makes when starting out.

1. Poor quality photos.

Let’s face it, we all judge a book but its cover (at least initially) and women are no different.  The first thing she is going to see is your photo so make it a decent one.  You might think those blurry, drunken Ibiza snaps from 2007 are still super cool but you’d be mistaken.

Women are highly perceptive when it comes to appearance and will judge a million things from your photo alone.  If at all possible get your photos taken by a professional.  They will know how to bring out the best in your appearance and maximize your best features.   Also, try and get ‘situational’ photos, anything that shows you around other people and generally enjoying life.  This gives what psychologists call ‘Social Proof’ and essentially makes you look fun and interesting to be around.  Failing that get a good quality digital camera and get a female friend to help you out (not your mum).  Have fun snapping away and pick what she thinks are the best five.

2. Boring profile

So you like holidays, watching movies and socialising with friends?  Guess what, so does everybody else.  Clichéd blurbs like this will see you labelled ‘average’ quicker than a mouse click.  You must be interesting in a different way.

 

Now I understand most of us are not rock stars or famous sportsmen but that doesn’t mean you can’t make yourself sound like a minor legend.

Try to get across that you are ambitious and have direction in life.  Women prefer a toyboy who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go out and get it.  This doesn’t have to mean you are trying to bludgeon your way to the top of the corporate ladder or acquire Bill Gates style wealth, it simply means you have focus and passion, two qualities women find highly attractive.

Instead of saying something mundane like “I enjoy eating in restaurants” try; “I love sampling foreign cuisine and meeting people from different cultures”.  These are essentially two ways of saying the same thing but which one do you think sounds more interesting?

3. Profile too long / short

Hopefully this one is common sense.  If your profile resembles the original manuscript of War and Peace then you’ll likely bore any poor girl patient enough to read it.  Bear in mind that you are dealing with a short attention span online.

At the other extreme the profile that says no more than ‘I’m Bill and I like football’ sounds about as interesting as….well, football.

Keep it brief, to the point and avoid extremes.  No more than 500 words is a good start.

4. Sounding desperate.

Nothing turns women off more than desperation and neediness.  You might think that romantic lines like ‘looking for the one’ or  ‘I could be your knight in shining armour’ will have women swooning at your chivalrous toyboy charm but I have to break it to you pal, you’ve just made yourself sound like a total loser.   Women aren’t stupid. They know why you’re on a dating site, (the clue is in the name) and it’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of, but brazenly stating you are looking to marry and settle down will have the ladies running in the opposite direction.  Unless you’re looking for a mail order bride keep it friendly at this early stage.

5. Predictable emails.

Attractive women are bombarded with unsolicited emails all the time.  Even women you might consider ‘average’ looking receive dozens in a day.  Don’t believe me?  Just ask a female friend.  The good news is that most are the same lame boring openers she’s heard a thousand times before.

 

If you want to stand out from the crowd you’ll need to get a bit more creative than just “Hi Hun, fancy a chat?”  Asking closed yes or no type questions can stop a conversation in its tracks.  Instead try something that allows her to tell you a bit about herself.  For example; “I see you like art, who are your influences?”  Not only does this show you’ve bothered to read her profile but also allows an opportunity to establish rapport.

 

A few cringe worthy mentions;

Avoid profanity, vulgarity and definitely anything that hints at sex.  I can’t describe how much of a turnoff this is (see point 4) and watch your spelling!  It’s just embarrassing for everyone.

 

Now put this into action and thank me later.

 

Benedict Tyler

Author of Online Dating For Guys.

 

 

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Gr8? LOL, No date! https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/gr8-lol-no-date/ https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/gr8-lol-no-date/#respond Sat, 29 Sep 2012 00:00:00 +0000 https://toyboywarehouse.com/?p=2748

We saw this piece in the Metro the other day and had to share it! Bad spelling and the use of abbreviations and acronyms such as ‘gr8’, ‘lol’ and ‘LMAO’ often put off a would-be partner from a second meeting. Double-texting, where another text is sent before getting a reply to the first, and one-word […]

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We saw this piece in the Metro the other day and had to share it!

Bad spelling and the use of abbreviations and acronyms such as ‘gr8’, ‘lol’ and ‘LMAO’ often put off a would-be partner from a second meeting.

Double-texting, where another text is sent before getting a reply to the first, and one-word messages are also cited as no-nos in the world of ‘textiquette’.

The average single adult spends more than 14 minutes crafting each post-first-date message to perfection, it is claimed.

Men are 60 per cent more likely than women to ask a friend to check whether the text is acceptable before sending it.

Kate Taylor said: ‘Not only do you now need to perform well on the date itself, if your follow up message is not up to scratch, then you might be out of contention for a second meeting.’

Texts should be light-hearted, tantalising and not contain outpourings of emotion, she added.

Other tips include being mysterious by not answering every message – to keep the other person coming back for more –and never send a message with a ‘smiley’ attached.

And one of the cardinal rules, according to a YouGov study for a mainstream dating site, is to never sound desperate by sending a text saying: ‘Did you get my message?’

So now you know – if you want a first date, let alone a second, text speak is only harming your chances (and that goes for profiles as well as texts)!

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#WannaGiveaShoutoutTo https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/wannagiveashoutoutto/ https://toyboywarehouse.com/blog/wannagiveashoutoutto/#respond Thu, 01 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +0000 https://toyboywarehouse.com/?p=2694

#WannaGiveaShoutoutTo Twitter feeds are currently clogged with this trending topic, which is a good platform to give a shout out to something or someone you’ve always wanted to thank for something, but in a more public way than would normally be done. We’ve trawled through them and come up with some of what we consider […]

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#WannaGiveaShoutoutTo

Twitter feeds are currently clogged with this trending topic, which is a good platform to give a shout out to something or someone you’ve always wanted to thank for something, but in a more public way than would normally be done.

We’ve trawled through them and come up with some of what we consider to be the best:

– all single mums out there working hard to provide their babies everything the world has to offer!

– all the beautiful ladies out there that don’t need no man to keep them happy and have their own money.

– all the lovers that are separated by distance & time. Don’t give up.

– all the RESPONSIBLE FATHERS out there; you guys have my respect.

– anyone who doesn’t give up on their goals, no matter how frustrating that road gets.

– all the people working to prevent sexual violence. Keep up the good work!

– the girls who know what they have to offer is priceless.

– the girls who don’t say or think all guys are the same.

– the people who believed in me and those who didn’t. You’re welcome.

– everyone that remains positive even with all this negativity everywhere.

– all the females that smile in pictures… instead of trying to imitate an angry duck.

– my heart. It’s been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken, but somehow still works.

– all the people who stay STRONG even after they have every reason in the world to breakdown.

– the man above for waking me up this morning 🙂

– the girls I’ve hurt, and screwed over. I apologize.

– all the women focused on education and getting her own vs leaching off every man she dates.

– my past for presently making my future brighter.

Who would you give a shout out to, and why?

We at TBW HQ #WannaGiveaShoutoutTo all our fabulous members who contribute to making Toyboy Warehouse the best site out there in this niche! Big thanks!

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