Tell us about yourself. What makes you a dating/relationship expert?

Hi, I’m Georgie! I’m an Aussie escort, writer, and online dating enthusiast. My job as a sex worker has taught me some useful skills for connecting with others and having incredible sex. In the eight years I’ve worked as an escort, I’ve also learned to be a better lover for the people I hook up with in my own time.

I run workshops in ethical hook-ups and produce a sex-ed podcast. I also have a book launching in September of this year. Basically, I’m finding lots of ways to teach essential sex skills to as many people as possible. It’s something almost all of us can benefit from!

How does your approach differ from other experts?

It’s hard being an expert – there’s so much pressure to be ‘right.’ Experts sometimes stick with facts and figures rather than talking about their own experiences, because they know that, when it comes to sex, the smallest mistake will be criticised. But I think that admitting to our mistakes is necessary. I’m not perfect – I’ve screwed up more times than I can count! I’m socially awkward. I’ve hurt other people. But I’m determined to own up to it.

We’re all just doing our best. The sooner we can all admit to our mistakes and anxieties, the sooner we can get on with becoming better. If I can learn to be a better person, then so can you.

What are some of the biggest challenges/frustrations you see from the people you work with?

Sex and dating can be difficult for everyone. We’re not used to talking about it, and we’re scared to get it wrong. Sometime this means that people won’t even turn up to a hook-ups class in the first place, because they think it means admitting that they’re not good enough.

Teaching people that they don’t have to be perfect is the biggest challenge. We’re all weird, awkward, and scared sometimes. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can relax and start focusing on your dates – this leads to a much better experience.

Member submitted question

I’m 49, female and recently divorced. I met my husband when I was a teenager, so I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. Where do I start?

– Catherine, 49

It can be nerve-wracking getting back into the dating game after a divorce! I’ve met a lot of people through my workshops who are experimenting with online dating after a long relationship – sometimes this way of meeting people is completely new to them, and they have no idea how to begin!

It’s important to go at your own pace. You might not be ready to go straight into your next relationship, but there’s nothing wrong with practice. And the best practice is done one step at a time. Your first step could be setting up an online dating profile, or it could be making more new friends at social events. 

Practice talking with strangers for a while, before you ask anyone on a date. Practice chatting online, but don’t put pressure on yourself to meet your matches in person. Perhaps you’d like to go on a few dates or have a few coffees with potential partners but hold back from physical intimacy until you feel ready. It’s all about what you want, and how you’d like to proceed.

Don’t be afraid to be honest about your situation. Some of the language and social customs around dating may have changed, since you were last single. But one thing DOESN’T change, and that’s your right to be treated with respect. If your date doesn’t take your needs and feelings seriously, you’re allowed to walk away.

Tell us about some of the projects/books/events you’re currently working on/just completed

My book ‘The Art of the Hook-Up’ launches on the 17th of September. It’s a practical guide to ethical sex and online dating, for all ages and genders. I’ve included tons of sexy anecdotes from my work and personal life and explained the skills that have helped me have incredible sex.

If your sex life needs a boost, I’d highly recommend the book! It’s available on pre-order from Amazon.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what women are attracted to? What are the main things women are looking for in a man?

Do you find any patterns with respect to what men are attracted to? What are the main things men are looking for in a woman?

When it comes to ‘what men want’ and ‘what women want,’ I don’t like to generalise. I think we spend a lot of time making assumptions about how people will behave, based solely on what they have in their pants – and it’s not always helpful. The truth is, everyone is different. Some men love going to the ballet and long cuddling sessions. Some women love watching porn and aren’t looking for a relationship. The same goes for attraction – we’re all drawn to different types of people, different bodies, different personalities. It’s very hard to guess what someone wants just by looking at them.

When we rely on stereotypes, we don’t see the actual person in front of us. If you’re trying to work out what your partner needs or wants, the best way to find out is to simply ask. It shows a lot of respect – and taking an interest in your date as a human being can often make you REALLY attractive, no matter what your gender.

Member submitted question

I’ve recently started an age-gap relationship with a woman who’s 15 years older than me. I haven’t told anyone about us yet and she’s getting annoyed, almost like I’m ashamed of her. I really like her but I just don’t know how my friends and family will react. What should I do?

– Marv, 30

As a sex worker, I’m quite familiar with this situation. It’s always difficult working out how to ‘come out’ as an escort to someone I’m dating, and they often worry about what their friends and family will think. It can feel hurtful, having someone you care about try and hide you away simply because they’re afraid of an awkward conversation.

Nobody enjoys difficult discussions. But we often make things worse by putting them off and treating the whole issue as though it’s a big deal. Then, when we finally break the news, the people around us feel as though it SHOULD be a drama, simply because we’ve been acting so secretively.

If you make as little fuss as possible, there’s a chance you’ll get a better reaction from friends and family. It’s the ‘no big deal’ attitude: ‘Hey family, meet my partner. We’re not the same age, but who cares?’

You can’t control how other people respond, but you can lead them in the right direction. And even if they do give you a hard time, would you rather face your friends and family, or lose your girlfriend? At some point, you’re going to have to choose – you may as well do it now, rather than making your partner feel like a dirty secret.

How can people connect with you on social?

You can find me on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook. 

Finally, what’s the one piece of advice you hold close to your heart?

When it comes to sex and dating, we’re all winging it – nobody has all the answers. If you’re doing your best to treat the people you meet (and shag) with respect, you’re doing a great. Take it one step at a time, don’t be afraid to learn more, and keep practising. That’s how a real sexpert does it!

The post An Interview with Georgie Wolf – Dating Experts Month appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Tell us about yourself. What makes you a dating/relationship expert?

My name is Cherlyn and I help high-achieving professional women get over their exes, take their lives and careers back and finally find love again. I’ve been doing this for 4 years and it’s been such a pleasure seeing my clients get in beautiful relationships and get engaged.

How does your approach differ from other experts?

I take on a science and behavioral psychology-based approach. Because of this, I’ve been able to predict with 99% accuracy, within the first two dates, if a man is likely to stay on or break up with a client. My approach is also very results-based, not time-based. I usually don’t stop until you are actually dating a great guy.

To ensure this, I am always applying high-performance techniques and logic into a client’s dating journey, so that they are able to bounce back quickly and enjoy their dates. Speed and efficiency is the name of the game.

What are some of the biggest challenges/frustrations you see from the people you work with?

The biggest one is that they can’t trust men anymore. They are so jaded from past marriages that they think all men are selfish, conceited and always going to take away their power. 

Another big frustration is that bad men seem to always get away with everything with no consequences, while they, the good person, always seem to be left with the heartache.

Member submitted question

I’m 49, female and recently divorced. I met my husband when I was a teenager so I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. Where do I start?

– Catherine, 49

First, yourself. Yes, that’s so cliché, but dating just isn’t very effective without first being comfortable with singlehood. Without that, we’re very likely to put all our expectations for happiness on a man, leading to emotional upheaval if anything goes wrong. 

So take some time for you, it’s OK not to rush this process. Only go into dating when you feel like you want to share your life and happiness with a man, not when you want a man to give you happiness. Huge difference.

Then, assume the identity of a short-term pessimist and a long-term optimist. That way, you have very realistic expectations of dating while still believing in your eventual success. 

Ease into dating slowly. Start with online dating, and learn how to write a good profile and how to take good, stylish photos that show off your best features. Of course, if you want to cut short this process, get a good expert in to help you.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what women are attracted to? What are the main things women are looking for in a man?

Do you find any patterns with respect to what men are attracted to? What are the main things men are looking for in a woman?

Yes, women tend to have a “type” and tend to go for men with similar traits, which can be good or bad. I find that women are always looking for men who have an edge… someone who isn’t boring and whom they don’t have to mother.

Member submitted question

I’ve recently started an age-gap relationship with a woman who’s 15 years older than me. I haven’t told anyone about us yet and she’s getting annoyed, almost like I’m ashamed of her. I really like her but I just don’t know how my friends and family will react. What should I do?

– Marv, 30

Ask yourself what’s the worst case scenario that can happen due to your friends and family overreacting. Then ask yourself if you are willing to deal with that for the sake of your relationship. If it’s no, then it’s time to take a closer look at why you’re in this relationship to begin with.

If it’s yes, then plan to tell them gently. Show them why she’s the woman for you. They might not like it, but they can respect your decision if you’re truly genuine about it.

How can people connect with you on social?

Specially for the Toyboy Warehouse women, I have prepared a bonus 30 min video about the science of how successful career women can stop dating toxic men and get to the right man who will adore them: https://www.stepstohappyness.com/science-right-man/

People can also follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stepstohappyness/ or join my Facebook Group: http://www.stepstohappyness.com/join/ if they want to get over the wrong man.

Finally, what’s the one piece of advice you hold close to your heart?

The best thing you can ever do for yourself is to only take advice or support from people who are also getting their ass kicked and people who already have the thing you want. 

So if you want to be in a relationship with a good man, get a mentor who already is in a healthy relationship. You don’t deserve to be judged, you deserve to be understood. Surround yourself with your tribe, and you’ll shine.

The post An Interview with Cherlyn Chong – Dating Experts Month appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Tell us about yourself. What makes you a dating/relationship expert?

Generally speaking those in the media bestow the designation of expert upon myself and others known for sharing their advice. I am the author of My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany). The book is about learning how to approach relationships with complete awareness, having realistic expectations, and using self-empowerment techniques. My Cat Won’t Bark! is laced with several humorous anecdotes and has received some noteworthy positive editorial reviews from the likes of Publishers Weekly, Reader’s Favorite, and Midwest Book Review.

I am also a former Chicago Dating Advice Examiner for Examiner.com where I published articles offering advice in the tricky world of dating. I have had the privilege of sharing my dating insights in various publications and media outlets. I have been featured on WGN-TV Morning News Chicago, The Chicago Tribune Newspaper, NBCNews.com, Askmen.com, ReadersDigest.com, Bravotv.com, HowStuffWorks.com, PsychologyToday.com, Bustle.com, Thisisinsider.com, Stylecaster.com, Match.com, Cheatsheet.com, Babble.com, Romper.com, Upjourney.com,  BRIT + CO, AARP.org, Redbookmag.com, Zoosk.com, Tinder, along with several other websites and radio appearances.

In addition I was a Continuing Education Instructor for School District 211 located in the NW Suburbs of Chicago where I taught classes on “How to Find and Choose Your Ideal Mate” and “Avoid the Catfish! How to Date Online Successfully!” 

How does your approach differ from other experts?

My approach is to first focus on who the client is and what she or he is looking for in a mate.

I then want to learn a little bit about what their past relationships have been like and why they chose those particular partners. Oftentimes people will claim they want a certain type of mate but they always seem to choose someone who is the complete opposite. I encourage them to stop blaming others.

Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

Each of us has our own mate selection/screening process and “must haves list”.

Each of us has our own boundaries and “deal breakers”.

When we acknowledge these truths, it empowers us because we have the ability to learn from our own mistakes and make better choices for ourselves in the future. You are responsible for your happiness.

If you go to the grocery store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No! You learn to become a better shopper!

Women often ask how they can stop attracting the wrong type of men. I tell them to stop concerning themselves with who is attracted to them. Millions of men are attracted to Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, Kim Kardashian, and Gigi Hadid. You have no say as to who finds you attractive! 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You should instead focus on why you chose certain men to be with.

It’s not about which men are attracted to you but rather which men you find attractive.

Nothing happens until you say “yes” to someone. When we change our circumstances change.

If you want something different you have to do something different.

If you are having one bad dating/relationship experience after another it is probably time to reexamine your mate selection/screening process. The only thing all of your failed relationships have in common is you. Some people would rather attempt to change the world than to change themselves!

What are some of the biggest challenges/frustrations you see from the people you work with?

Some of my biggest challenges are trying to get people to take responsibility for their past relationship choices, getting them to let go and move on from past relationships, as well as giving up on the fairytale.

A lot of people still want to subscribe to the old adage of “follow your heart”. I say; 

“Never separate your heart from your mind when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.” Some folks have told me: “You can’t help who you fall in love with.”

However, if we choose who we spend our time with we are by default choosing who we will love!

It is a little disingenuous to say “yes” to exchanging your contact information, to going out on dates, to kissing, to having sex and countless other things over and over again; and then claim that love just happened! If you said no or never had contact with him/her you’re not going to fall in love with them!

Communication is often bantered around as being the key to a happy successful relationship.

As it turns out many people do not find communication to be romantic.

Their idea of a “soulmate” is someone who will instinctively know what to say and do to please them!

Imagine a married woman complaining to her husband on Monday about him never buying her flowers anymore. On the way home from work on Tuesday he stops by the florist and buys her a dozen roses. Odds are she is not going to exactly jump up and down with joy. Although she got what she wanted there remains a bitter taste of resentment in her mouth from her having to ask him in the first place!

It’s almost a cliché to hear someone complaining to their mate by starting a sentence with the following:

“I shouldn’t have to tell you…. etc.”

While asking for what you want will increase the odds of you getting it the truth of the matter is most people want their mate to come up with the idea on their own. They don’t want to communicate!

Member submitted question

I’m 49, female and recently divorced. I met my husband when I was a teenager so I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. Where do I start?

– Catherine, 49

Catherine, you should start by doing some introspective thinking to figure out who you are and what you want and need in a mate. You also should decide if at this time you are simply looking to get out and have some fun or if your mindset is to find love.

Every “serious relationship” I’ve ever had began as a “causal relationship” and evolved over time. What you want should dictate where you shop.

Your personality and what you enjoy doing will usually indicate what you are comfortable with.

If you enjoy specific activities or hobbies you may want to join a few Meetup.com groups in your area. These groups generally meet once or twice per month and are made up of people who have similar interests such as horseback riding, photography, theatre goers, yoga, meditation, dancing, book clubs, writers, and countless other options. Many of these groups have single people in them and you can gradually get to know them over time while attending the meetings. In addition, there are usually some singles networking groups and activities as well.

There is no one size fits all solution when it comes to dating, relationships, or finding love.

Ultimately life is a personal journey and you are the only one who knows what you want.

My advice would be for you to start off with having the goal of just meeting someone new who is compatible and you enjoy each other’s company. You should go out with multiple people and just focus on having fun until you find a situation whereby you both feel something special.

One common mistake many people make is focusing on (one person) too quickly. This causes them to become overly emotionally invested with someone they barely know. If you were looking for a job you wouldn’t submit your resume to (one company) and wait to see if they hired you before submitting your resume to another company.

If you’re really the adventurous type you might consider going on singlescruise.com whereby everyone on the ship is single. You have the option of sharing a cabin with someone or paying to have your own cabin. A wide array of events are set up on the ship for the cruisers to partake both on the ship as well as onshore excursions. Whether it’s a Caribbean cruise or a Greek Isles cruise at the very least you are bound to enjoy having a getaway.

Niche online dating sites are also available if you have some specific “must haves” such as particular age group, race, religion, pets, children, or whatever other requirements you desire. 

It is important to do some research prior to selecting a site or app. You should also read any available reviews about the sites as well. It helps to know the ratio of women to men, average age of the subscribers, their education and income levels. 

Sport bars, pubs, and nice hotel lounges with live music are good for unwinding and meeting new people. Nightclubs/dance clubs in upscale venues especially those in hotels can be fun.

If you’re uncomfortable going alone take a girlfriend with you.

In addition, there are beaches, gyms, and summer festivals where lots of people attend. Oftentimes people simply are not aware when others are flirting with them! They are too focused on their activity. Sometimes just being aware of how someone engages with you opens doors.

The most important thing is to enjoy life and be happy regardless of your relationship status.

People are drawn to those who are positive, personable, and have a great sense of humor.

Tell us about some of the projects/books/events you’re currently working on/just completed

I am putting the finishing touches on a new eBook regarding online dating which I plan to have available on Amazon by the end of July. I plan to have another one on “first dates” launched in late fall as well. I have also just made arrangements to offer services on Fiverr.com where I can be found under the user name lovealert911.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what women are attracted to? What are the main things women are looking for in a man?

What women find attractive about men varies according to the age of the woman and her life experience. Some younger women go through a “bad boy” phase where they want to be with guys who are somewhat of a rebel or nonconformist. Some of them are especially drawn towards guys who are narcissistic, arrogant, or emotionally unavailable. They see them as being more of a challenge, fun, exciting, a mystery to figure out, and unpredictable.

Any “nice guys” they meet while in their “bad boy” phase are placed in their “friend zone”.

Generally speaking it is not until after they have been hurt or betrayed several times that they consciously make the effort to try dating a “nice guy” or different type for peace and stability. 

1. Physical attributes – Everyone wants to be with someone they find attractive.
2. Confidence: Women also love to be with a guy other men admire and respect.
3. Strong in the sense of she feels safe when he is with her physically and emotionally.
4. Great sense of humor: He knows how to make her laugh or put a smile on her face.
5. Thoughtful and considerate: He knows how to melt her heart and please her.
6. Financially stable and has a vision for the future and a plan for getting there.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what men are attracted to? What are the main things men are looking for in a woman?

Men tend to keep things fairly simple when it comes to what attracts them to women.

1. Physical attributes: face, body, hair, smile…etc.
2. Personality: Someone who is personable, easy going, with a great sense of humor
3. Knows how to subtly and playfully flirt to show they are interested in a man. 

(Everything else she has such as education and career achievements are icing on the cake!)

Member submitted question

I’ve recently started an age-gap relationship with a woman who’s 15 years older than me. I haven’t told anyone about us yet and she’s getting annoyed, almost like I’m ashamed of her. I really like her but I just don’t know how my friends and family will react. What should I do?

– Marv, 30

Marv, you will never truly be free until you stop caring what other people think.

You are approaching an age where most people start getting to that point where they feel they have earned the right to do as they please with their life without needing others to weigh in.

The fact you are bringing up the age difference in conjunction with your having not introducing her to your family and friends suggests one of two things. The first being you are embarrassed by her or the second which is you do not see her as being someone you are seriously into.

Most people do not introduce every fling they have to their “inner circle”. Anyone you have been dating for less than three months shouldn’t be pushing you to make them a staple of the family. The real question is: If she were your age would you be introducing her at this stage?

The first step is to always be honest with yourself. The next step is to be true to yourself.

If you do not wish to introduce her to your inner circle let her know why.

How can people connect with you on social?

Website: www.lovealert911.com  

Twitter: @kdarnelovealert 

My Facebook

My LinkedIn

Finally, what’s the one piece of advice you hold close to your heart?

The world may not owe you anything but you owe yourself the world!

“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

The post An Interview with Kevin Darne – Dating Experts Month appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Tell us about yourself. What makes you a dating/relationship expert?

There is no school that teaches you how to be a professional dating profile writer, but I started out in the public relations industry, where my job was to help companies present themselves to the public. These skills made all the difference in my own online dating life, and in the help I started to give to my friends. I got into the industry in 2004 when Match.com was running a profile assistance service. The service was doomed to fail (it was run through a 900 number), but it gave me a chance to start helping people with their profiles on a much larger scale.

When the Match.com service shut down after 9 months, I was their highest-rated profile writer and I was being requested by more than 60% of the clients. That’s what gave me the idea to start ProfileHelper.com. When I launched the site, I was one of the only people that I knew of who was doing this professionally. Over the years, several other companies have come and gone (one was even started by an ex-girlfriend of mine who got the idea by watching me work), but Profilehelper has continued to grow. Since launching in 2005, we’ve helped over 14,000 people with their online dating profiles, photos, and dating strategies.

How does your approach differ from other experts?

I’m honestly not sure. I’m not really focused on what anyone else in my industry does. Personally, I believe that dating is not a numbers game. I think that there’s a lot of focus on women having to kiss as many frogs as it takes to find their prince, or men just machine-gunning out messages to women in hopes of getting someone to say yes. This attitude is what causes singles to burn out and quit before finding a great partner. Dating is not a numbers game. It’s all about being able to read what people are saying between the lines of their profiles and determining, not only, that they are a good match for you, but that you are a good match for them.

An excellent profile should repel far more people than it attracts and you need to know that just having a great profile isn’t enough. You have to know what to do with it. In reality, your profile isn’t even for the people who find you, it’s for the people you find. When you reach out to someone who has the potential of being a great partner, your profile serves as the perfect wingman to you first message.

What are some of the biggest challenges/frustrations you see from the people you work with?

The #1 complaints from my male and female clients are two sides of the same coin:

Men: I’m sending out all these messages, but I’m barely getting any responses.

Women: I’m getting all these messages, but none of them are from the people I want to meet.

Men are sending far too many messages to women. A lot of the time, they message anyone they think is cute. Meanwhile, most women put out a profile and see what comes to them because of out-of-date ideas about whether it’s OK for a woman to say hi to a man.

There are plenty of challenges when it comes to the bad profiles, awful photos, and poorly conceived first messages, but once you fix them, this is the problem that most people seem to hit.

Member submitted question

I’m 49, female and recently divorced. I met my husband when I was a teenager so I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. Where do I start?

– Catherine, 49

Hi Catherine. The first thing that you need to know is that you are definitely not alone in this. You are in one of the largest age groups of online daters right now. If you are going to start online dating, it’s important to know what it is and what it isn’t, up front. Despite what you’ve seen in ads, online dating is not an instant cure for singlehood. It’s just one more place to meet people that you aren’t already meeting. Don’t ever give it more power than that and you’ll be OK.

If you are looking for a serious relationship, there are a couple of places that I’d consider: Match and Bumble. Match has the three things I look for in a profile-driven dating site: It’s not free, it has a great search tool, and it is the second largest dating site in the world.  Bumble is good if you want to try a swipe app, but don’t want to deal with the meat market atmosphere on Tinder. Here’s the main difference between the two:

Match: This site will require more work on your part, a longer profile, and for you to message people without them having already swiped on you. You will get less first dates on Match, but more of them will have the potential of turning into relationships.

Bumble: Bumble can feel like a video game. You can swipe on guys until you pass out. The connections on this app are based more on photos and much shorter profiles. This means that there are often more first dates, but fewer of them end up being the kind that might turn into relationships.

Before you get started, make sure you’ve got your photos in order. You need 4-7 photos that are no more than 10 months old.You need to be the only person in the majority of them and you can’t just use a bunch of selfies. Keep it simple, don’t dress up too much or use any phone filters.

When it comes to your profile, don’t think of it as an ad. You don’t have to sell yourself to anyone, just pick a few things about yourself and talk about them so that people get more than just a long list of meaningless stuff. Surprisingly, a lot of women tend to forget to write about what they are looking for in a partner. You need to make sure that you write about the kind of person you’d like to meet without focusing on the things you didn’t like about your ex.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, but try to find an objective third party (like ProfileHelper.com). Friends and loved ones are great, but they have a very subjective view on what they think is best for you and what they want for your future. This kind of subjectivity can color your profile in ways that can do more harm than good.

Tell us about some of the projects/books/events you’re currently working on/just completed

I’m putting together some notes that may turn into a book eventually, but I’m very focused on working with my clients.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what women are attracted to? What are the main things women are looking for in a man?

The one big word that’s started popping up more and more in the last couple of years is “decisive.” As women have gained more power in society, many men have taken it as an excuse to jump into the back seat and it is annoying women to no end. I’ve heard complaints to the effect that some men almost seem afraid of making decisions because they don’t want to upset their date. Other than that, women want the same humble, funny, ambitious men that they have always been drawn to.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what men are attracted to? What are the main things men are looking for in a woman?

In recent years, I’ve seen more men than ever putting an emphasis on finding a woman with a career of her own. I don’t think this is because they are looking for sugar mammas as much as they are looking for more parity than they had in previous relationships. Beyond that, men have kept to the same things they’ve always wanted: looks, smile, brains, heart.

It’s important to mention here that we are talking in broad generalities. While there are certain things that most people want, I’ve been amazed at the diversity of desires, wants, and relationship goals that I’ve come across over the years as a Professional Dating Profile Writer.

Member submitted question

I’ve recently started an age-gap relationship with a woman who’s 15 years older than me. I haven’t told anyone about us yet and she’s getting annoyed, almost like I’m ashamed of her. I really like her but I just don’t know how my friends and family will react. What should I do?

– Marv, 30

Hey Marv, If you care about her, it’s time to pull off the band-aid. If she’s as great a woman as you think she is, most of your friends will probably like her a lot. Your parents might be the biggest hurdle, but you don’t have to introduce everyone to her at once. Start by inviting just one or two close friends to dinner with you and your girlfriend. See how it goes.

Don’t make it a bigger deal than it is. She’s a woman you care about (and who seems to care about you) and you want her to meet more people that you care about. If you were dating a woman that was your age, how would you introduce her to your friends? You probably wouldn’t make a grand announcement to all of them at once, you’d ease her into the situation. This is the same thing.

How can people connect with you on social?

You can find me on Facebook at – https://www.facebook.com/profilehelper/

But the best way to reach me is to just visit me at www.Profilehelper.com

Finally, what’s the one piece of advice you hold close to your heart?

Online dating is not an instant fix for being single. It’s just one more great way to meet people that you aren’t already meeting. Don’t give it more power than that or it will turn into a job and burn you out. If you are spending more than 20 minutes of your day on dating sites or apps, you are doing it wrong and you need to reassess your strategy.

Alternatively:

It’s always OK to ask for help, even if you feel kind of foolish having to do it. Sometimes you just need an objective outside opinion to help you get out of your own way and back on track.

The post An Interview with Eric Resnick – Dating Experts Month appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Tell us about yourself. What makes you a dating/relationship expert?

I am a certified Love Coach & Relationship Expert. My mission is to help people find love, spice up their current relationship, or help those going through a breakup transition. I am also the Vice President of Eye of Love, a high quality pheromone brand and an expert in Pheromones and attraction.

How does your approach differ from other experts?

My focus is on empowerment and giving people the tools to help them live their best life. I work on real and tangible activities with my clients that help them succeed.

What are some of the biggest challenges/frustrations you see from the people you work with?

One of the biggest challenges I see from my clients who are mainly in their 20’s-30’s are that they are having trouble meeting people in the ever-evolving digital world we live in. Today with all the dating apps, it’s hard to filter through those who are just looking to hook up and those genuinely looking for long term love.

Member submitted question

I’m 49, female and recently divorced. I met my husband when I was a teenager so I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. Where do I start?

– Catherine, 49

Dating later in life comes with it’sits benefits. You already know exactly who you are and what you’re looking for. Go to specific places to meet who shares the same interests as you. For example, if you want to meet someone into fitness, go to a yoga or crossfit class and strike up a conversation with someone you are attracted to. 

Tell us about some of the projects/books/events you’re currently working on/just completed

I am currently working on developing new pheromone products to help people enhance their daily lives. Many people love our pheromone perfumes and use them daily so I am constantly working on new and improved products, ideas, and packaging. 

Do you find any patterns with respect to what women are attracted to? What are the main things women are looking for in a man?

For the most part people are looking for a man they can trust, shares the same values as them, and who can make them laugh.

Member submitted question

I’ve recently started an age-gap relationship with a woman who’s 15 years older than me. I haven’t told anyone about us yet and she’s getting annoyed, almost like I’m ashamed of her. I really like her but I just don’t know how my friends and family will react. What should I do?

– Marv, 30

Hi Marv, it depends how much you care about her. It’s normal not to introduce someone to the family until you are serious. Do you think she will be in your life long term? If you truly love and care about her then you will have to come to terms with what your friends and family will say and be okay with it. The worst thing to do is to stay in hiding and isolate yourself from others.

How can people connect with you on social?

@Jaxrubinoff

Finally, what’s the one piece of advice you hold close to your heart?

The root of love is giving. The more both partners give to one another unconditionally, their love, time, energy etc., the more they will love one another. 

The post An Interview with Jacqui Rubinoff – Dating Experts Month appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

What makes you a dating/relationship expert?

I’ve been in a relationship for over 20 years, that in itself makes me an expert. I have created my own experiments and strategies to help keep relationships alive and lasting. In fact, I wrote THE book on how to fall madly in love over and over again.

The same tools and techniques that are required for dating are even more amplified if you are in a monogamous relationship for 10, 15, especially over 20 years and want to keep it juicy and continue to experience deeper connection.

I’ve also researched, studied, practiced and taught many esoteric and practical modalities relating to intimacy.

How is your approach different from other experts?

My approach is unique in that I help individuals reconnect with their most hidden and/or forbidden parts of themselves so they have access to a variety of energies they can share with their partners. It is radical self-love and persona work at an exalted level.

I merge very artistic and practical tools with the profound wisdom I’ve studied and experienced from various esoteric mystery schools on sacred sexuality, intimacy and love.

What are some of the biggest challenges/frustrations you see from the people you work with?

The biggest challenge I see is lack of confidence. Most people struggling in relationships believe in a limited sense of self, and they project attributes onto one type of ideal person.

I first have to re-educate my clients to understand that they have “many selves,” not just one self. Then I have to help them experience, express and embody their loving, nurturing, sexy, savage, sweet, rooted and wild sides.

It can be an emotional process to unleash someone’s multifaceted soul.

Member submitted question

I’m 49, female and recently divorced. I met my husband when I was a teenager so I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. Where do I start?

– Catherine, 49

49 just divorced where do I start.

The first thing I would recommend is to really get to know herself, to date herself, flirt with herself and treat herself how she would like a lover/partner to treat her.

This is very practical in the sense that she will learn a great deal about herself outside of partnership, AND she will gain a lot of practice in receiving and giving to herself. This way, she will know what she likes and dislikes and gain a strong understanding of her desires so that she can communicate those desires to her date or potential partner.

Another quick and easy thing to do is to get rid of all her “ugly” lingerie and stock up on some sexy things, just to make herself feel better.

Tell us about some of the projects/books/events you’re currently working on/just completed

My bestselling e-book “The Kinky Vanilla Love Project: The Sexy, Soulful Journey from Betrayal to Bliss” will be in the print version and available this fall.

It is a tell all memoir that teaches women how to fall madly in love with themselves, use role-play as a way to reignite passion in their relationships, tap into their truest most sexy selves, and how to love and be loved better.

I’m also currently teaching an online class where I help women access their most potent and magnetic powers through an archetypal, ritualistic and photographic journey.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what women are attracted to? What are the main things women are looking for in a man? And The same question for men?

For the most part, I believe that women and men are looking for the same thing, though in different ways. Both men and women seek safety to feel confident enough to be who they truly are.

For a woman, safety with a man is one who is capable of receiving her fully, all aspects of her emotional being so feels safe enough to surrender and open up physically and sexually to him.

For a man, safety looks like a woman who does not judge him or take away his freedom so that he feel safe enough to open up emotionally to her.

I believe that ultimately, both sexes are attracted to confidence, body, mind, spirit.

Member submitted question

I’ve recently started an age-gap relationship with a woman who’s 15 years older than me. I haven’t told anyone about us yet and she’s getting annoyed, almost like I’m ashamed of her. I really like her but I just don’t know how my friends and family will react. What should I do?

– Marv, 30

Marv should get honest about his feelings for the woman he is dating and ask himself what is more important at this moment, his feelings for this woman or the judgement of his friends and family. Everyone is uniquely individual and that goes for their dating styles.

If two souls are serving each other in a mutual and consensual way, there should be no problem as long as communication is always honest and open.

His shame may be societal. Older men date younger women all the time, and it is accepted. My advice would be to decide with his heart, and not by the fear of judgement from others.

How can people connect with you on social? 

My Instagram Social Media handle is @kinkyvanillalove

FB Lord Coltrane Haute Life

Finally, what’s the one piece of advice you hold close to your heart?

The most important and sacred of relationship is the relationship with yourself. Radical self-love allows you to have enough love in you to share it blissfully with another, it is the tool that helps you determine who is right for you in the long run, it is the energy that magnetizes the most epic of lovers.

The post An Interview with Lord Coltrane – Dating Experts Month appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Tell us about yourself. What makes you a dating/relationship expert?

I’m a first-time bride at 50, which means I dated half the planet, had a million boyfriends and breakups, survived singledom, and triumphed. Does it make me a dating and relationship expert? Not sure, but it definitely makes me an authority on the subject.

How does your approach differ from other experts?

I was a fitness professional before I became a life coach/dating coach, so I approach my clients like athletes. I motivate, inspire, discipline, and help them find their greatness within.

What are some of the biggest challenges/frustrations you see from the people you work with?

Clients who make excuses make me want to pull my hair out! Clients with victim mentality also frustrate me. My challenge is to work them through their fear and self-loathing, so they can feel empowered.

Member submitted question

I’m 49, female and recently divorced. I met my husband when I was a teenager so I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. Where do I start?

– Catherine, 49

Start by looking good, feeling good, fixing any old or lingering emotional issues, and getting yourself out there. In other words, make sure you’re “date ready.” Remember, any time you step out the door, is a chance to meet someone: the store, bank, cleaners, etc. Make sure you smile and make eye contact. Also, set up an online dating profile, and if you have difficulty, ask a friend for help. Dating is like riding a bike, you never forget how!

Tell us about some of the projects/books/events you’re currently working on/just completed

I just completed my self-help memoir, “Confessions of a Late Blooming Bride,” now I’m shopping it to agents and publishers. I also co-host a podcast with my husband Robby called “Done Being Single,” www.donebeingsingle.com on the VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. We cover all aspects of dating, being single, relationships, marriage, and finding love later in life. I also continue to impart wit and wisdom at my blog www.thelatebloomingbride.com. Finally, I work with clients as a life coach at www.trevabrandonscharf.com.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what women are attracted to? What are the main things women are looking for in a man?

Women are attracted to men who are decisive, respectful, and thoughtful. They don’t like game players or commitment-phobes. They want a man to be the man, to be direct and unafraid to show their affection or feelings. There’s nothing sexier than a man who knows who he is, and what he wants.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what men are attracted to? What are the main things men are looking for in a woman?

Most men like a strong, independent woman, but not ballbreakers or alpha females. Men are primal creatures, and still like the chase. A woman who’s self-confident and values herself, is very attractive.

Member submitted question

I’ve recently started an age-gap relationship with a woman who’s 15 years older than me. I haven’t told anyone about us yet and she’s getting annoyed, almost like I’m ashamed of her. I really like her but I just don’t know how my friends and family will react. What should I do?

– Marv, 30

If Marv has real, genuine feelings for his girlfriend, if he’s proud of her, and has good intentions about pursuing a future with her, then he shouldn’t be ashamed. If his family/friends disapprove, too bad. He’s a grown man, he shouldn’t have to hide who he is, or who he dates.

How can people connect with you on social? 

People can find me on Twitter @trevabme and Instagram @trevabme. My website is www.trevabrandonscharf.com.

Finally, what’s the one piece of advice you hold close to your heart?

My favorite piece of dating advice is my own: “Remember, you’re the prize, so may the best man win!”

The post An Interview with Treva Brandon Scharf – Dating Experts Month appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Tell us about yourself. What makes you a dating/relationship expert?

I’ve been working with couples for 10 years, from intervening in abusive relationships to helping people with great relationships sustain them. So I’ve seen the full spectrum of relationship situations and can spot where the strong points and weak points are.

What are some of the biggest challenges/frustrations you see from the people you work with?

The #1 issue people come to me with is communication problems. And I think that makes a lot of sense – we simply don’t get much education on this topic as we’re growing up. We learn calculus and trigonometry, but the very basic tools of day-to-day communication with the people in our lives get skipped over! It’s quite a shame, and I can relate to the frustration people feel when they’re trying to communicate with a loved one and just can’t seem to make it happen.

Member submitted questions

I’m 49, female and recently divorced. I met my husband when I was a teenager so I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. Where do I start?

– Catherine, 49

Start by finding people in your life who will be able to support and encourage you through the process. Whatever approach to dating you take, you’re likely to encounter some bumps in the road. The best thing you can do to set yourself up for success is to have a close friend or family member at the ready to help you through those challenging times.

Tell us about some of the projects/books/events you’re currently working on/just completed

I’ve been working on growing a nonprofit I created to provide low-cost marriage counseling in the community. Counseling can be a huge help for people struggling in their marriages, but it can certainly get expensive, and insurance generally doesn’t cover couples counseling since they don’t consider it a medical issue. As a marriage counselor, I know how beneficial this kind of help can be, and I really want to see it made available to more people.

What are the main things women are looking for in a man? What are the main things men are looking for in a woman?

Here’s the pattern I’ve seen most often: women want to feel desired; men want to feel successful. That means that if you want to attract a man, make him feel successful – let him know that the restaurant he picked was great, that the trip he planned was a winner, that he’s really given you a good time.  And if you want to attract a woman, make sure she knows you find her attractive and desirable – that’s she’s special to you, that you want to be with her, that you can’t wait to see her again.

How can people connect with you on social?

Facebook: BaltimoreTherapyCenter

Finally, what’s the one piece of advice you hold close to your heart?

Go to bed angry! Well, you don’t have to. But you certainly don’t have to avoid it either. Whoever said “never go to bed angry” didn’t know what they were talking about. You can’t solve a problem when you’re angry! You just end up arguing until 3 in the morning and then falling asleep still annoyed. There’s nothing wrong with going to bed angry. Sometimes we get angry with our partners. More often than not, that is not the moment to try to resolve the issue. Wait on it, sleep on it, and if you find the next day that the issue still needs to be talked about (and often you realize it really doesn’t), you’ll be in a better place to do so.

Visit Baltimore Therapy Center  for more information.

The post An Interview with Raffi Bilek – Dating Experts Month appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Tell us about yourself. What makes you a dating/relationship expert?

I am a clinical psychologist, author, consultant, and yoga instructor who has been working in the field for over 15 years with a variety of populations throughout America.  I have walked with people along their journeys of dating, marriage, divorce, and re-entering the dating world. I have co-facilitated numerous marital retreats with my colleague Mark Killin, in my primary position working with special operations overseas.

How does your approach differ from other experts?

With regards to marriage and relationships, I primarily utilize evidenced based work from Dr. John and Julie Gottman.  These principles are extremely effective in strengthening relationships. I also tend to incorporate the importance of mindfulness, presence, and play into the work I do.

What are some of the biggest challenges/frustrations you see from the people you work with?

Some of the biggest challenges I see is individuals being able to connect with partners who want the same thing as them.  People have no problem finding sex partners or flings on apps like Tinder, but for some who want actual relationships they have difficulty meeting others who want the same thing.  Another challenge I see is people who have been hurt too many times and lost hope of finding anyone again, particularly when their ex is now in a committed relationship. They carry the weight of the past with them.

Member submitted questions

I’m 49, female and recently divorced. I met my husband when I was a teenager so I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. Where do I start?

– Catherine, 49

Know that you are not alone in reconnecting this dating world.  Sadly divorce rates are high, and numerous other people are in the same situation you are in.  Start where you are. Ensure that you have taken time to grieve the relationship. Talk to friends who are in similar situations.  Have fun. Do not always expect the next person you will date will be the new one. Now is the time to explore and really figure out what it is you want in a person, and who you have developed to be right now. Your needs and desires as a teenager has definitely shifted, explore you now.

Along with this the book I tend to gift to people the most is In the Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant.  She reminds us that we always think the people are with should be the “one.” But maybe they are the one for right now.  If we do not take the time to grow and learn lessons from these relationships, we are doomed to make the same mistakes and attract the same type of person again and again.

Tell us about some of the projects/books/events you’re currently working on/just completed

I recently completed a book entitled The Fragrance of Wanderlust: How to capture the essence of travel in our everyday lives.  It’s a 40 day mindful staycation project. We are our best selves when we travel, this book explores how to take the doppleganger traveler within and bring it home.  Om is available to all of us. I hope to lead some upcoming retreats in the future too.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what women are attracted to? What are the main things women are looking for in a man?

Women are attracted to confident men.  They want to feel wooed and desired. Although they want someone who is hard working, they want to know that this person will make them a priority in their life.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what men are attracted to? What are the main things men are looking for in a woman?

Men want to feel they are appreciated and respected.  They want someone they are physically attracted to but also someone that can be their best friend, share similar values, and have sexual chemistry with.

Member submitted questions

I’ve recently started an age-gap relationship with a woman who’s 15 years older than me. I haven’t told anyone about us yet and she’s getting annoyed, almost like I’m ashamed of her. I really like her but I just don’t know how my friends and family will react. What should I do?

– Marv, 30

I would explore what arises for you when this question is brought up?  Are you offended or are you ashamed? If you enjoy being around this person, why should it matter how others react?  You are the one in the relationship. If you feel their influence is going to continue to impact you, explore if this is the right person for you at this time.  We should never hide our partner. They deserve the right to shine, if not with you than with someone else who would be honored to have them on their arm.

How can people connect with you on social? 

Facebook: Tricia Wolanin

www.drtricia.co

Finally, what’s the one piece of advice you hold close to your heart?  

I read a book once which encouraged women to be their own knight in shining armor.  Do not search for someone else to fill this role. When we shift the focus and let go, sometimes this is when what we desire will arrive.

The post An Interview with Tricia Wolanin – Dating Experts Month appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Tell us about yourself. What makes you a dating/relationship expert?

I’m a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Therapist (Psychotherapist) with a PhD in Counseling Psychology. I’ve been in private practice since 1978, and I’m the author of 15 self-help books, published in 17 languages.

How does your approach differ from other experts?

I’ve been a pioneer in acknowledging and supporting alternative lifestyle relationships.  I accept that people want to be together, and I help them understand what they need to know to keep their relationships healthy.

What are some of the biggest challenges/frustrations you see from the people you work with?

Finding a partner they can have a successful relationship with.

Using the dating process to actually figure out if the relationship can work.

Once committed, learning the skills that keep long-term relationships  happy and healthy.

Member submitted question

I’m 49, female and recently divorced. I met my husband when I was a teenager so I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. Where do I start?

– Catherine, 49

Start by figuring out what interests you, what you’re passionate about, and go where other people are doing those things.  Once you have found and gotten in with an appropriate group, finding someone to date becomes a lot easier, and you bypass a lot of the scarier aspects of dating.

Tell us about some of the projects/books/events you’re currently working on/just completed

Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today

“This book is all about preparing you — not just for confident and competent dating — but for a successful, loving, forever adult relationship. In today’s world, most of us need some kind of guidance. If you’re conflicted at all about dating…if you’ve ever had trouble meeting people, attracting the right people, or making good choices in love…I highly recommend you get this book so you can get the benefits of Dr. Romance’s expert advice right now.” Bobbi Palmer

“Dr. Romanance is your must-have wing woman to find true love. ” Amazon Customer

“They don’t call her “Dr. Romance” for nothing. She knows her stuff. Highly recommended book!” Amazon Review

“I have recommended Dr. Tessina’s books to counseling clients over the years, always with great success. This one, geared to unattached people, is filled with direct, clear words of wisdom. I recommend it highly.” Isadora Alman

Do you find any patterns with respect to what women are attracted to? What are the main things women are looking for in a man?

Women tend to look for security. They want to know they are loved, and that they won’t be betrayed.  Security means different things to different women, and sometimes the idea of security is misguided.

Do you find any patterns with respect to what men are attracted to? What are the main things men are looking for in a woman?

Men are looking for acceptance. They want to be liked for who they are, they want sexual acceptance and no-hassle relationships.

Member submitted question

I’ve recently started an age-gap relationship with a woman who’s 15 years older than me. I haven’t told anyone about us yet and she’s getting annoyed, almost like I’m ashamed of her. I really like her but I just don’t know how my friends and family will react. What should I do?

– Marv, 30

Marv, if you love her, you have to be brave. 15 years is not an insurmountable age gap.  Stop worrying so much about what other people think. They’ll get over it. Instead, focus on whether the relationship makes you happy. If it does, then let your friends and family know that. Most of them want you to be happy.

How can people connect with you on social?

www.tinatessina.com
Dr. Romance Blog: drromance.typepad.com
Twitter: @tinatessina
Facebook: TinaTessina
Facebook: TheReal13thStep

Finally, what’s the one piece of advice you hold close to your heart?

A solid, loving relationship with your self is the basis for all good relationships.  Start by connecting with you, and the rest will follow.

The post An Interview with Tina B. Tessina PhD – Dating Experts Month appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.