UKs Largest Dating and Relationship Site For Older Women And Younger Man

If you’re looking to jump back into the dating world, why not try one of the most active and vibrant dating platforms? For over a decade, Toyboy Warehouse has been matching handsome younger men with mature women. From love, lust to romance, every dating style is catered for. Why not take a look and see for yourself?

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So let me set the scene for you.

My 20-plus-year marriage had ended, a lonely, passionless and pretty miserable final few years. No intimacy, no sex. I had turned into my great-aunt Maud, a dried-up old prune.

During this time I met a guy while taking a course. He was 10 years younger and charming. What followed was an intoxicating foray into text flirting—leaving me quite giddy with rapidly thawing frigidity and the profound realisation that I’d lived my previous 20 years in a sort of coma. That friendship, however, remained platonic.

The attitude of men my own age saddened me, and I became frustrated by their idea of foreplay (not to mention the postcoital narcolepsy five minutes later. So, I told myself, wasn’t it about time I did a little road testing of some younger models? (Purely in the name of market research, you understand…)

I had begun to realise that I’m a nonconformist—a rule-breaker and risk-taker… and, further, that I’m completely comfortable with my own nonconformity. I was 47, and it was about bloody time I celebrated the Rebel Rebel in me.

Around that time an acquaintance told me about a dating website called Toyboy Warehouse. She added that she couldn’t possibly sign up on that site because of insecurities about being overweight/out of shape/unfit/wrinkly/timid… I’ll bet you can already guess my response…

Where do I sign up?

It’s a curious old thing–the word cougar sounds rather threatening and predatory, don’t you think? Yet “threatening” and “predatory” are absolutely not words I would ever use to describe myself. So I was curious as I registered my details, a short, bio, my height, hair colour, AGE and other details, I signed up and held my breath! What world was I entering?

My girlfriends fell into two camps: those utterly horrified by what I was about to embark upon (secretly jealous I reckoned) and those who cheered me on and wanted all the details (maybe just a bit jealous but also excited about living vicariously through me)!

I joined the site because I like a dare!  I was looking for fun, flirting, sex, and education. What I did not expect was that great friendships would develop, along with a level of intimacy that I’d never before experienced before in my life. And, best of all, more attention, devotion and laughter than during two decades of marriage.

And the sex. Oh, the sex was extraordinary. Selfless and attentive and satisfying. You see, the reality is far from the cultural icon of Mrs. Robinson. In fact, the most likely scenario for a woman with a younger partner is that she has arrived at midlife having had a long long-term relationship, few sexual partners, several children, and a pretty boring sex life.

These young men are thrilled to be able to teach an older woman some new tricks!

Why do younger men date older women?

I was curious, so questioned these beautiful young men on their reasons for hanging out with an older woman. (The men I have met are on average 15 years younger than me)—and their answers were enlightening.

• Intelligent conversation
• Independent—An older woman doesn’t NEED a man to validate her existence
• Sexually more adventurous—and happy to try new things
• Sexy without even knowing it—comfortable in her own skin
• Accepting of her partner.
• All woman – the real deal….generally without silicon and self-obsessed grooming practices.
• Able to teach about relationships in a non-threatening way.

In the beginning I did begin a rendezvous by justifying myself, explaining that my body was not that of a 25-year-old; that I’d carried, given birth to, and nursed my children, blah, blah. And then a finger came up to my lips to silence all my disclaimers.

“Have you any idea how amazing I get to feel because YOU chose me?” was the response I got from one beautiful young man.

“I get to be myself with you,” he added. Good grief, I didn’t see that one coming. We get so caught up in our own insecurities about how we look that we lose sight of what’s really important, about who we are on the inside.  I found that in these nontraditional older-younger relationships, both my partner and I got to be who we really are—masks removed.

Ladies, don’t wait until you’re “perfect” before you get out there dating again. Get out there right away and do some exploring—you might just end up having the time of your life.

Haven’t tried Toyboy Warehouse for yourself? Join the Fun

Read more lessons about midlife in Rebecca’s book Best Knickers Always

The post Why I Choose To Date Younger Men appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

For anyone who has completed copious amounts research into mind reading and have cracked the code to finally hear other people’s thoughts, don’t bother reading this.

For the rest of you, you’re in luck, today you’re about to find out what other people really think when reading your dating messages, all without the aid of psychic abilities. That’s right, we asked a random segment of cougar dating site Toyboy Warehouse members exactly what goes through their head after reading your beautifully scripted DMs. The results may shock you.

We asked the girls…

Message: “Hey x”

The girls said: You guessed it, it’s a big fat ‘no’. On Toyboy Warehouse, women get 3x more messages than men. So a first message is really an opportunity to stand out from the crowd. Even if you’re the next Brad Pitt, with a bank balance to match, message with just a ‘hey’ at your peril. The consensus has spoken, it’s not going to end well for you.

Message: ‘Hey, I’ve been single for soo long, please date me!’

The girls said: You guessed it again. It you fancy sending a downbeat first message, you’re going to get a downbeat reply – if one at all.

Message: “You look beautiful/attractive/sexy”

The girls said: Compliments are a funny thing, sometimes they can bring joy, other times they can make you look a little bit creepy. But according to a group of our members, that distinction isn’t random.

Unsolicited physical compliments, for the most part, were seen negatively. Unless there was a little rapport already built, even the nicest compliment comes across needy and weird. So if you do want to say something nice about someone’s appearance, try and build a foundation first. However, maybe you’re looking to compliment something other than appearance, for example:

• ‘wow, you’re a X? A lot of my family are X, I also thought it was amazing to have a job that makes such a difference in people’s lives’
• ‘Is that actually you in that rock climbing picture? That’s so high! Awesome job!’

Compliments such as these were looked on much more favourably. It still possible to be a bit creepy if done wrong, but as long as you’re kind and sincere it’s a great way to get some dating brownie points.

Message: Corny pick up line

The girls said: It looks like the corny pick up line has made full circle and is now a perfectly acceptable first message. The consensus said a funny pick up line is a great way to say hello, only if it was done in a slightly self-deprecating way. As long as the other person intended it to be corny, and not actually a pick up line that would work every time, then it’s considered a sweet and fun first message.

We asked the guys…

Message: ‘You eyes/hair/muscles looks good’

The guys said: It seems physical compliments were a big ‘yes, please’ from the guys. The general consensus said it’s a nice little ego-boost and a good way to show you’re interested. It’s worth keeping it pretty clean (nothing too explicit) but being a little flirty or sexy with it is perfectly acceptable.

Message: ‘Can I get your phone number?’

The guys said: While the ladies making that the big leap and asking for a phone number is mostly appreciated, it being a first message is considered a little forward. Accordingly to the guys, 3-5 messages was sufficient before asking for a phone number. Anything less seems a little desperate, anything more and you’re at risk of just being a ‘dating site friend’ and never anything more.

Message: “Hey x’

The guys said: There’s a general consensus that guys shouldn’t just message ‘hey’, that women don’t like it and that it rarely leads to a reply. It turns out the same is true for women. Our members called the simple ‘hey’ message ‘lazy’ and something ‘not really worth a reply’.

Message: ‘Hey, I’ve been single for soo long, please date me!’

The guys said: While this may be a little dramatic, variations on a pessimistic or downbeat first message are not received very well. The most common response was that desperation is a little unattractive. While the other person may not be the happiest bunny in the world, starting off your dating journey with a downbeat message isn’t the best way to go.

The post What Do They Really Think Of That Message You Sent? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Toyboy Warehouse isn’t just the UK’s largest cougar dating site, after inhouse dating experts are world renowned for their insight. That’s why we’ve uncovered the most essential books, podcasts, video series, etc. on all things dating. Whether you’re newly single, someone making the most of their bachelor/bachelorette life or a lucky so-and-so settling in to another relationship, these are the most essential books and podcasts you need to be checking out.

Is there something we’ve missed off the list? Let us know in the comments.

April Kirkwood, Working My Way Back To Me

For rural Ohio beauty queen April Kirkwood, her #MeToo moment came way before the term was coined. She lost her virginity to the middle-aged Frankie Valli at 16, after a decade pursuing a childhood fantasy to be the crooner’s wife. Through April’s eyes, we experience joys and heartaches that echo across more than a half-century of old family secrets and ways, and the triumphs and defeats involved in trying to break the mould. The book sheds light on universal struggles involving love, sexuality, addiction, and mental health. April’s adventures lead to betrayal and suffering, and her fate depends on family. April must learn the fine line between guidance and sabotage as she claws her way to a future not as a saviour, but as a fiercely accomplished woman.

Check out Working My Way Back To Me

The Couples Counsel by Dr. & Mrs. Mercier

Relationships don’t always go the way we hoped and often include poor communication, money fights, and lack of sex & intimacy. Dr. & Mrs. Mercier believe the challenges in relationships are opportunities for growth. That is why they have made it their purpose to equip couples and families with the necessary tools for happy and healthy relationships.

Check out The Couples Counsel

Maria Leonard Olsen, 50 After 50

When lawyer/journalist Olsen reached age 50, she decided to try 50 new things that were significant to her. As a woman in recovery, the author values the time she has left, and through her own story, urges readers to do the same via activities such as singing like no one’s listening, riding a horse, and performing random acts of kindness. She enumerates many more exercises under the headings of “spiritual endeavours,” “thrill seeking ventures,” “lifestyle changes,” and so forth, but the message is that we should value and embrace life to the fullest. VERDICT An inspiring read for those who are in or have passed through middle age.

Check out 50 After 50

Diana Raab, Lust

A passionate journey through private emotional moments, Diana Raab’s Lust voices the pain of loneliness and the heart’s yearning for love while transcending the depths of human desire. In her fourth book of poetry, Raab employs narrative verse that is alive, titillating, and seductive. Lust examines the emotional and physical complexity of love, helping readers navigate the risks of intimacy as we move toward the realisation that every experience enriches our lives, whether we perceive it as joy, pain, or out of the ordinary. Yet for all their psychological richness, the poems’s simplicity and accessibility will resonate with women and men across all walks of life. Lust is a book you won’t put down and won’t soon forget.

Check out Lust

Sign up to Toyboy Warehouse – the home of British cougars and toyboys.

The post Essential Reading/Listening For Your Dating Life – December ’18 appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Over the years, being in the industry has given us detailed knowledge of which bloggers are blogging from the heart, and which are full of hot air. So your favourite cougar dating site, Toyboy Warehouse, is running through its favorite 15 dating blogs that will provide the tips you need, the anecdotes you crave and a good laugh when all else fails.

1. Dating Goddess: As explained in her Adventures in dating after 40, mature dating sometimes comes with a few unexpected twists, the best way to get past them is by sharing and no blog is better at providing honest, thoughtful musings on dating for 40+ than this.

2. Soon2becatlady: When you need a refreshing giggle at the drama and misadventure that comes with dating in the digital age, I recommend Soon2becatlady (spoiler: she’s not resorted to getting cats just yet!)

3. 40 Days of Dating: follows a unique and interesting social experiment conducted by two good friends, Jessica in Timothy, in New York. Tired of finding opposite problems in their dating lives, they decided to date each other for 40 days – to entertaining and often enlightening effect. (And it went so well, they’re making a book!)

4. DatingAdvice.com: If you’re looking for expert dating advice from people with both the personal and academic qualifications to give it, you might try DatingAdvice.com. As well as providing intelligent advice for both men and women, they also have an expert in mature dating, April Braswell, whose blogs shed light on the challenges of dating for the experienced, but keeps it fun and entertaining too. You can even ask them dating questions via Twitter (@DatingAdviceCom)

5. She Knows: It’s likely in your dating life you’re thinking about your sex life too. Find revealing ideas, frank advice and ideas to heat up your other love life on the She Knows blog.

6. 30 Dates: As well as providing excellent insights with her 30 Dates experiment, Charly Lester’s 30 Dates Blog is an inspiration to anyone looking to create their own dating blog too. Her 30 adventures are a great reminder that when it comes to dating you really have to just get out there.

7. Buzzfeed Dating Blog: If you’re just looking for a laugh or something to pass 15 minutes on your commute, the indisputable masters of quick, easily-digested content is always Buzzfeed. Their dating blogs are guaranteed to amuse you, and their quizzes provide you with useful answers to burning questions such as ‘Which fictional serial killer should I date?‘ (and eventually be killed by).

8. Single Dating Diva: Check out Single Dating Diva if you’re looking for advice to a specific question affecting your love life. Her top tips also contain some cheerful words to keep you smiling when this big ol’ numbers game has got you down.

9. We Love Dates: The definitive mother-load of online dating advice is available at the award winning We Love Dates blog. Their specialty is list blogs that are well known for being irresistibly readable, but without sacrificing strong, actionable advice.

10. Time Out Dating: Keeping up to date with the latest trends in online dating and technology affecting it is easier than ever with the Time Out Dating Blog, now written by 30 Dates’ Charly Lester. The results of their Global Dating Survey will show you which cities are best for dating, which cities are worst for dating and which accent the world finds irresistible (hint, you might like the answer to this one!)

11. Huffington Post: Prolific bloggers across every genre, The Huffington Post Dating Blog will provide you with a lot more than just a list of ‘5 best dating outfits for 2018’. Peruse these dating musings when you’re looking for a serious perspective on modern dating issues.

12. Divorced Girl Smiling: At Toyboy Warehouse, we know how divorce affects you when it comes to getting back on the horse again. Luckily Divorced Girl Smiling‘s blog is devoted to just that. Give it a read when you’re looking for some empathy.

13. Divorced Guy Grinning: And – of course – as divorce is a two way street, the equally excellent Divorced Guy Grinning is there to support men in the same boat and share the problems

14. Men’s Fitness: Providing excellent advice for men (and a good laugh for women) in this interactive mock-dating site, Men’s Fitness created a fake profile and got real expert analysis from professionals and single women. A must for any man who wants to succeed with women as you’ll learn exactly what’s going through her mind when you send a message bragging about your manhood. Check it out.

15. Role Reboot: A personal favorite, the Role Reboot blog is dedicated to challenging out-dated conceptions about men and women’s roles – a subject close to our hearts at Toyboy Warehouse. Expect excellent feminist thought-pieces, personal advice columns and honest story-telling.

There you have it! The top 15 blogs that will help you make 2018 the dating year you want it to be and keep you amused and optimistic along the way. If you’re looking for another recommended blog or specific piece of advice, email in.

Don’t forget the best in dating advice, stories and news – Toyboy Warehouse Blog (we might be a bit biased on that one).

The post 15 Essential Dating Blogs for Singles in 2018 appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

“How do I know if he’s genuinely interested in getting to know me?”

We know that some of the greatest relationships can blossom from something that started as purely physical, but sometimes you want to know exactly where you stand before agreeing to go on your first date. Unfortunately, without Derren Brown’s ability to read minds, we’re often left guessing and it can sometimes hold us back from going for that first drink and seeing what could be…

Gaynor is back and this time she’s helping you navigate the minefield of the online dating world, helping you to spot the signals and handle tricky conversations to help you determine whether he’s genuinely interested or focussed on the ‘end game’.

Don’t forget, if you have a question for any of our experts leave a comment or send us an email and we’ll make sure that they get answered!

The post Are they really into you or is it just about sex? | Ask the Experts appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Wondering whether you’re the only one in his life, but too scared to ask?

Toyboy dating expert, Gaynor is back and answering another of your questions. This time we’re delving into the minefield that is ‘exclusivity’ and Gaynor’s sharing her words of wisdom on when a relationship becomes exclusive and how to broach the subject without sending the other person running for the hills!

Don’t forget – if you have a question for any of our experts, let us know by commenting on the blog or get in touch with us! x

The post ‘Are we exclusive?’ appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Welcome to the first of my column in which I will be looking to share my experiences not only with online dating but in particular dating a man much younger than yourself or indeed a man dating an older woman.

So who am I?

Like many of the ladies on here, I was married for many years to a lovely man but as the years went by, we began to grow apart, not because love had gone out of the window but because we were going along two very different paths.

By the time I reached my 40’s we made the decision to separate and I recall the first night in my new home feeling very lonely, lost and no idea where to start again

Online dating at the time was much in its infancy and many of my era were not only wary of joining one but embarrassed to do so as was I but after being single for over a year and believing I was a typical singleton out enjoying myself, it was a comment from a man who had tried on a few occasions to ‘chat’ me up that led me to the world of internet dating

His comment?

‘ I see you still have the force field around you!’

It was probably true. Up until when I separated, I knew nothing about dating, even meeting my then husband was through friends so I had no idea where to begin, what to say, how to look etc. When you’ve been in a long term relationship, whilst some would say they couldn’t wait to be free again for many others the prospect of dating again created fear and palpitations!!

Truth was I was scared of dating, scared of not being fancied, scared I’d say something stupid, scared about the possibility of at some point undressing in front of someone new and scared of my possible inexperience in the bedroom and because of this it was better to just look like I was enjoying myself and confident than actually be it!

However, over time as my confidence returned I took the chances thrown to me though not choosing to become a serial dater, I limited the number I actually met and as some of you who may have just plucked up the courage I’m sure this may be something you are already experiencing but look at this way, you’ve made the first step already!

I tried a couple of dating sites setting my age boundaries for men 40-50 but on the occasion I took to meet, I was often disappointed from the lack of both attraction and personality. Whilst many were generally successful career wise and intelligent what they lacked was the fundamental basic of actually just enjoying life

The more I went out, the more I found myself attracted to the younger man. They had life and energy, they were funny, they were confident without being brash, they were adventurous, they generally looked after themselves, they were fearless. I respected that in them though like any age group there will always be the ‘users and abusers’ and I mean that in a descriptive way rather than physical in terms of their aim of meeting an older woman

Don’t get me wrong I often questioned my own insecurities with regard to my body, my looks but over time they begin to realize that if they weren’t interested they wouldn’t be with you and of the men I’ve spoken top and met their main reason for dating an older woman is their confidence, their tenacity, their maturity in various subjects, the fact they don’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone

We are also unlikely to be ranting on about the new shades of foundation or the latest mascara or indeed worry and fret next to our phone because he hasn’t answered our text after 5 minutes in fact more often than not, it is usually the man wondering why we haven’t!

We can be stronger, sexier and more desirable because of all that so ladies embrace what you have, don’t shy away from it because someone out there wants to see it.

Through this regular column I hope to allay fears of any woman or man contemplating the age divide in terms of relationships including the pitfalls, the upsides, the etiquette, the fun but most of all to prove you can experience as much if sometimes more when you throw the age rule book out of the window.

I will answer and address any questions or topics you wish to raise covering all boundaries of dating from how you make that initial step to strike up a conversation to meet for the first time through to keeping things fresh in the bedroom.

Tanya xx

The post Ask Tanya | Introducing Tanya appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

I have been struggling to define the relationships I appear to have acquired over the last few months.

Back in October last year, I wrote about friends who have sex with each other. Back then, I was quite clear in my mind what those relationships were.

These days, I’m not so sure.

One of my closest friends¹ had a revelation about me: dating is the only way I can have a social life. I have neither a spouse nor family here; I do not have a circle of friends I grew up or even went to university with, and since the Great Upheaval², most of whom I had labelled ‘friend’, well, aren’t, as this is his hometown.

The ones I can call mine are all either coupled up or have young children. I can’t just call them up and ask if they want to go out tonight. Every single excursion is an intensely and carefully co-ordinated effort and not just by me.

Arranging for a meet with a single, unencumbered young person, living 30 or even 50 miles away, is surprisingly easier than a night out with my friends who live in the same town.

It’s been a year almost to the day, since I started to ‘date’ as it were. Conscious me would say that I was seeking companions to have sexy fun with. I found a glittering bevy of beautiful, intriguing young men who excited my mind as well as my body. And on a few occasions, nourished my spirit. But friends?³.

Subconscious me wanted very much to make a friend. Someone I could just shoot the breeze with, who would feel comfortable hanging out with me and my little one, who wouldn’t care if sex wasn’t on the table. Someone whom I could chat with frequently, have random, philosophical conversations with late into the night, whom I could share scary shit without fear. A friend I could keep being friends with for quite a long time I guess.

My definition of a friend has undergone some radical changes since The Great Upheaval. I made new ones about 18 months ago who showed me what friendship could be. People whom I had thought of as friends, like the ones referred to in the article above, no longer fall under that category. What happens when you have shared confidences, been emotionally vulnerable before them, but then find that, actually, you can’t carry on as you are. What are you then? Ex-friends?

Perhaps I am thinking about this wrong. I had let go of the notion of a soulmate, Mr Right, the One, of the idea that a family is a couple with children/pets, that a successful “relationship” is one that lasts for life. Why should I hold on to the belief that a friend is for life? Or that they should prove themselves to be “true”, whatever that means.

Maybe, a friend is someone who is there for me when I need them and vice versa. Once our need for each other is past, and there is nothing to keep us together, would it be so bad to then stop being friends? Would the label “acquaintance” be so terrible?

In the last couple of months, I closed the chapter on three wonderful men I had the pleasure of “dating”. My association with two had lasted about 5 months, and with the third, several years. In that time, we were indeed friends. With two, I am not entirely sure why we stopped, but that’s OK, because there is a world full of friends I haven’t met yet.

Oh, will I stop “dating”? Nah! I like having sex with delightful, relaxing, young men far too much.

A photo posted by J Iron Word (@j.ironword) on Aug 6, 2016 at 10:59pm PDT

¹ Someone I saw every day, and shared so very much with, but has now gone home like ET. Might as well be a different planet. ² 20 year marriage disintegrated. ³ Suddenly they were too busy to meet or even talk.

*Serendipitously, Maria Popova at Brainpickings posted this thoughtful essay on “Reclaiming Friendship” this week, which addresses some of the issues I was wrestling with much more eloquently and with a great deal more depth.

The post Goodbye… Hello! appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

British Sex Lives Plummet after EU Referendum. Relationships across the UK Affected by Brexit Result (with Big Differences between the Leave and Remain Camps)

A ToyboyWarehouse.com poll of over 1100 couples across the UK has found British sex lives have dried up since the referendum result.

Almost 17% of couples polled claimed to have not had any sex since the result was announced, while 20% said they’ve been having sex ‘less often’.

Only 7% answered they were having sex ‘more often’ than usual.

The poll also asked what they blamed for their sudden lack of bedroom action. Most British couples answered it was due to a ‘general drop in mood’ with ‘anxiety/worry’ coming a close second. A small percentage put the fault down to relationship arguments from supporting different sides.

‘What this shows us is how easily affected our sex lives really are’ claims our resident relationship expert Lucy Jones. ‘Politics is far from a sexy subject. Regardless of how you voted the general British mood is hardly going to get those engines running’.

The poll also found big differences between the Remain, Leave and undecided camps.


Remain Voters

Asked whether they have had more and less sex than usual since the result, a fifth of In voters answered they have had less. While a huge 27% said they have not had sex at all.

Leave Voters

The vast majority of Out voters however claimed to see ‘no change’ in their sex life. A small percentage said it had increased, but not dramatically.

Undecided Voters

Similar changes could be seen by those in the undecided camp. Of those who didn’t align with either Remain or Leave, a massive 20% claimed to have been having sex less often than usual.

Will Brits ever get their sex lives back? Lucy Jones expects so, she claims ‘‘once the dust settles and our national mood improves things will return to normal”.

What’s your take on Brexit? Do you think it’s affect British Love lives?

The post How has Brexit affected your love life? (You might be surprised) appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Are you a sizzling steak or a soggy burger in the bedroom?

Once upon a time, the height of quality dining meant enjoying a damn good steak. Steakhouses dotted themselves around our conurbations, both here and across the pond, leaving no man truly a man until he knew his way round a pretty fine rump, along with the wallet to procure it.

It was a sign of quality, of commitment; the preparation, the maturing and development, the sheer investment. Safe and predictable, this was the ‘going steady’ of the restaurant world.

And then fast food took hold. Why wait 28 days for a quality rib eye when you can pay pennies for something you can cram in your gob in mere minutes? You had a hunger, and it was satisfied, fast; job done.

Of course, there was a trade off for that speed and convenience. Cue questionable contents, dodgy decisions, conveyor-belt anonymity. No wonder film actor Paul Newman replied to a question about adultery with, “Why go out for a hamburger when you have steak at home?” As a metaphor for quality the quote stuck (and hell, he even sold salad dressings to go with those steaks). Today the fast-food burger’s firmly fallen from grace. Come on. It’s tacky, isn’t it?

So hello, gourmet burger. High quality, unique, for a more discerning palate. An older woman might not want the commitment of a steak any more, but she’s not satisfied by the grubby burger of her youth, either. And when it’s good, it’s really good. As one self-confessed ‘menopausal nymphomaniac’ put it recently, “One 25-year-old does things I didn’t know were possible. He’s so good I feel I’ve discovered another room in my house.”

But how can you be ‘gourmet’? How can you be sure both parties ‘have it their way’? Invest in your own menu. Your own sex menu.

Because it’s not just quality that sets a gourmet burger apart; it’s the variety, it’s the skill, and it’s also the information about the ingredients. Too many of us end up on what sex and relationship therapist Tania Glyde calls a ‘sexual escalator’: a predictable and default set of sexual steps, all leading in a certain sticky direction.

A sex menu gets you stepping off the road more travelled and gets you uncovering your own path. Detailing your sexual likes, dislikes, areas of curiosity and areas of no-go etc, it’s the smart way to ensure mind-reading, mind-BLOWING sex from the outset. Hate having your hair pulled? Yearn to be spanked on the bottom with a Woman’s Weekly? Write it all down. Consider it the world’s most satisfying cheat code for your partner, EVER.

A recent talk held by The Summer House Weekend, London’s home of intimacy, respect, consent and kink, introduced a treasure-trove of resources for whetting one’s menu-making appetite at sexmenus.wordpress.com. Just download and tick your way through a range of templates. Welcome to a multiple-choice with VERY interesting options.

Feeling a little queasy about sharing such intimate details with another? Then it’s even more worth dipping into. For older women it’s the perfect process of self-discovery (how DO you want to be kissed, now your think about it?); as for toyboys, it’s imaginative proof that there’s way more to sexual satisfaction than the pounding found in porn.

And if you do end up sharing and discussing it? Wow, that’s hella foreplay, folks. Plus, you know that sexual dysfunction in women can be solved with basic communication, right?

The post Do you want fries with that? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.