Navigating the stages of a break-up can be hard and in stage one, it’s natural to feel as though things will never get better…

Toyboy dating expert, Gaynor is back with some advice on how bypass the desire to wallow and make sure your confidence doesn’t waver, in this episode of Ask Gaynor.

Helping you to realise the importance of taking some time for yourself, the power of a new pair of shoes and why (for women) ‘the sisterhood’ is so important during this period of your life.

If you’ve recently broken up with your partner or are in need of some feel-good guidance, this session is definitely worth a watch:

Remember, if you have a question for one of our experts or would like to share your own story with our members, get in touch – we want to hear from you!

The post The Break-Up Blues appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Okay all of you who have put your profile on some other social media network or on a dating site and found, after chatting to someone for a little while, that you’ve either been deleted or unmatched? If you have then you’ll either have that sinking feeling of pure rejection or you’ll just look at it and think ‘Okay, time to move on’.

Truth is regardless of how tough we are, there’s nothing worse than being rejected unless you’re the one doing the rejecting. It hits us hard and right in the heart. We start to question what it was we did or said wrong, to cause the uncoupling, and find ourselves going over the last few texts or messages analyzing – when the truth is they just moved on to someone else.

Its happened to me too. I was on a dating app swiping madly away when I got my match and straightaway we started to chat. The messages carried on over the next few days, then a couple of weeks then all of a sudden gone! I couldn’t figure out why and I couldn’t go back to my messages to check what I’d said either, so I was really bewildered as I’d believed we were getting on well – then it struck me. I had given him my number to call me and persuaded him to call as, I don’t know about you but I can’t be doing with messaging forever; I like to hear a person’s voice then meet soon after, otherwise what’s the point, but it was after that message that he deleted me. Obviously talking or meeting me was not part of the plan

Truth is there is never a really honest answer as to why someone would suddenly delete you unless:

1. they’re a scammer
2. they’re married (very likely)
3. they were also chatting to someone else who they preferred (very possible)

I think we can get too hung up on triviality, wasting our energy trying to work it out when quite simply it’s just human nature. The ones that are serious about meeting someone will meet and usually soon after chatting, if they get a good vibe, whilst the others that don’t are either serial daters or up to no good. The point here is not to waste your precious time – so many say in their profiles ‘life is too short’ and indeed it is.

I’ve known people perfectly healthy one minute then disabled overnight by a stroke and at one place I worked, someone didn’t come into work one morning and didn’t call in so as she was local they decided to pop round only to find that she’d dropped dead from an aneurism – so all time is precious time, don’t waste any of yours on past loves, the ones that were no good, the ones you just didn’t have any synergy with and especially those who deleted you.

We’ve become a throw away society where we can delete people at random or swipe them away to oblivion, we’ve become far more shallow, where looks count for much more than they ever used to and our requirements of the ‘perfect’ person grow by the day.

We have also become a more promiscuous society with porn available at the touch of a button. There’s no need to go into a shop, buy a magazine off the top shelf or sneak into a store having checked the surroundings before going in, getting our item and walking out again checking if there’s anyone around, our brown paper package tucked neatly under our arms. Now if we fancy a bit of naughtiness we only need to click on a website in the comfort of our own home and most of us at some point will do just that

The world is huge and it’s full of new and interesting people so why wouldn’t you want to put your efforts into meeting them? I’ve been single now for 8 years and in that time have had only short term relationships for various reasons, but I don’t dwell on them. I always look forward and remain optimistic that, one day, it will all come together, but I’m also perfectly okay with my own company so I’ll never force it either.

What works for one may not be right for another but the main thing is to remember that deletion and un-matching is never personal and you have to ask yourself , do you also worry about it as much when you’re busily deleting and un matching too? I doubt it so try remembering that, the next time it happens to you. There’s no way anyone could truly know you from a few messages, but one day someone will take the time and effort to do just that so waft the deletions away, smile to yourself and say ‘their loss’ and move on to more delicious things in life.

Take care and happy dating!!

Love Tanya x

The post Ask Tanya | ‘I’ve been deleted!’ appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

The idea of a dating site is to meet new and interesting people, which will hopefully then lead to the one you really want – but how do you let down the ones that are interested in you when you’re not interested in them?

Its never an easy thing to do, unless you’re a cold and callous person who doesn’t care about other people’s feelings, or you’re just not used to dealing with any upfront honesty for fear of being seen as nasty and untouchable. Unfortunately, its something all of us male and females will have to deal with at some point in our lives and actually, a dating site means you don’t even have to do it face to face – which in theory should make it a darn sight easier, but in effect it makes no difference!

The thing I’ve found is it all depends when the connection and disconnections are made so in effect, how long have you been conversing before you realise it isn’t what you want anymore? If it’s the first message you can always say:

• I’m already talking to someone
• I’m looking for someone older/younger
• I’m not looking to date at the moment though my profile is still live
• I’m pleased you’ve contacted me but I don’t see we’ll have anything in common
• You’re too far away
• You look lovely but not really my type

I have tried various dating sites over the years and at first I would just chat using their messaging service, because you can ask a fair few questions before you decide to actually meet – though I’ve noticed today it’s seems preferable to meet sooner rather than later and make the inevitable decision in most cases, quicker.

We are all adults, we have to accept that regardless of what we may feel it may not be mutual and this all comes down to chemistry, for which we have no control whatsoever. When I first adopted the online dating scene, I was so excited, I truly believed that if I ‘favourited’ someone, they would also favourite me or if I took the first step to message them they would without doubt message me back, but in reality it doesn’t always happen as you want it to.

For centuries couples have been thrown together where one likes one but the other doesn’t and for the sake of the family go along with it, with divorce being a word never mentioned. They suffered in silence, settled for second best with someone they may have cared about as a friend, but desperate inside to be with someone they actually loved, knowing it was probably unlikely to happen. Thankfully today we have choices, though I do think maybe those choices have become so flexible, no one puts in as much effort anymore

We live in a disposable world where, at the swipe of the hand, we can say no to whoever we want and move on to the next. We no longer have to pluck up the nerve to walk up to someone and start chatting in a bar if we don’t want to, we no longer have to spend days or weeks wondering how we’re going to tell someone we no longer love them because we have text and email, we no longer have to bear those long silences not knowing what to talk about on a first date, because we can find out before we meet.

I for one miss those halcyon days when eyes met, when you tried to maneuver yourself around your friends so you were looking in their direction, when you made your move to the ladies as soon as you saw him head that way just so you could ’accidentally’ bump into him. Now we meet online and we can dump online, but there are ways of doing it

The one thing I prefer, as I’m sure most of you do, is pure and simply be honest. Remember, not only are you wasting your time if there’s no longer any interest, but also you’re wasting theirs. Life is far too precious to spend time doing something you really don’t want to or spending time talking to someone that you’ve completely lost interest in and if you’re on a dating website, then you should be prepared for that or don’t bother signing up! It’s as simple as that.

Personally, if you’ve exchanged a fair few messages over a few days or weeks even, they deserve some respect and should be told if you no longer feel same. I don’t think there’s anything worse than just cutting everything dead by simply not responding or worse, being rude if you do!

I once chatted to a guy for a few weeks online and on the phone – we seemed to really gel, so we decided it was time to meet. Now I generally say to anyone I’m meeting, lets not raise the ‘so do you fancy me’ or ‘do you fancy meeting up again’ until after the meeting as that way no one gets embarrassed or feels humiliated and, ladies and gentlemen, don’t agree to a long evening meal if you’re not sure, as it makes it very difficult when it comes to paying the bill!

I think you kind of know the minute you meet if there’s likely to be any spark and when I met this guy I knew instantly there wasn’t but I had coffee, chatted then left after around an hour which I felt was reasonable enough time to see if I was right. I walked away, reflected back on the meeting and decided. If I don’t feel anything, there’s absolutely nothing I can do, so I politely say thank you for all the conversations but I didn’t feel any chemistry between us and if you’re both adult enough, that should be all it takes.

Unfortunately, there are some who feel they have a right over you once they’ve given you time and with those, sometimes you can’t help but be a little rude. I had same situation as above but when I told him I didn’t see things going any further and hoped he would find what he was looking for, he gave me the worst mouthful ever about leading him on, taking his time, being a player, then to top it all he told me I was out of his league anyway!

Now guys, there’s nothing more unappealing than a sore loser. I never ever make it personal, as generally it isn’t, but to come back at a woman with such venom was not very nice. The best thing to do in any situation where interest has faded is look at it as if it were you. What would you expect from them?

The best thing that I hear time and time again is ‘treat others as you’d like to be treated yourself’ and if you bear that in mind, you can’t go far wrong, but it’s a cowards way out if you just stop responding or block someone so, ladies and gentleman, its better to leave a good impression rather than a bad one so if any of you are like that, its time to grow up and face up!

Happy hunting!

Love Tanya x

The post Ask Tanya | ‘I’m just not interested anymore…’ appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Going a date if you have been single for a while might be stressful. When my five year-long relationship finished and I went on my first date after it, I was nervous and scared. I also lacked confidence in myself and I completely forgot how to flirt. I was very conscious of what this new guy would think of me, I was conscious about my behaviour and worried if he was going to like me and find me attractive. Suddenly, all the inferiority complexes kicked in again.

I have written some dating tips for you and I hope they will help you to go on your date relaxed and prepared. All of them have been tried and tested by myself.

Tip#1 Date when you feel ready

If you have just ended a relationship, give yourself time to recover! Get back on your feet and date only when you feel the moment is right. Try not to be pressurised by your friends and family telling you to go out or trying to introduce you to their friends. You need to be over your ex completely before you can open your heart to someone new. I’ve been there, it took me nearly nine months before I was ready to go on a date. Remember, each of us is different, you may need a week or a year. Allow yourself this time to value yourself and understand who you are.

Tip#2 Be yourself

I think it is important that you don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t. You should not be ashamed of what you do and who you are. For example, I tend to talk a lot and I was quite conscious of the fact that it might be seen as excessive but then I thought, “how am I supposed to be with someone if they don’t accept me the way I am”. People who put masks on actually deceive others as well as themselves! Sooner or later the truth will come out.

Tip#3 Ask Questions

Prepare a few questions beforehand if you want to avoid an awkward silence. I mean questions about family, books, future plans, etc. It will help you to understand if the person in front of you shares similar values, has same hobbies as you. It will help to establish some common ground. If you struggle to think of any questions because you are too nervous, pop in to Romantic Duo’s Facebook page. You will find there weekly selection of Questions that you could ask on a date.

Tip#4 Prepare a dating plan

What I mean here is that you think of places where you could meet your Mr/Mrs Right! Places you or your friends often go. Open your eyes and start noticing people around you. Do you see some smiley NEW faces?

Tip#5 Make an effort, first impression counts

Let’s be honest – the first thing you look at is physical appearance. It is like judging the book by its cover. I am not saying this is the right or wrong thing to do, it is just human nature. This is something we all do, so maybe it is worth thinking about what to wear when going on a first date? Where to go and what time to meet? Some initial preparation is crucial. But the most important thing is to BE on TIME!

Part 2 soon to be released

The post 10 Genius Dating Tips from Relationship Expert Marzena Kubiak (Part 1) appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

This is a guest post for Toyboy Warehouse: UK’s largest cougar dating site.

I never understood: ‘You cannot have your cake and eat it.’ as a kid, what else would you do with a cake that you have? The complete phrase: ‘You cannot have your cake and eat it too.’ makes a little more sense, but it sounds like a thought experiment in quantum mechanics for people on a diet.

The meaning of the phrase is that you cannot have the best of both worlds, admittedly without diabetics in mind. The only way to have cake and eat it, is to cheat, and eat someone else’s cake. While this means someone gets the best of both worlds, someone else ends up cakeless, and has the worst of one world. It’s a moral dilemma that has plagued many of us in the wee hours in front of an open communal fridge.

Cheating someone out of their cake is like cheating in a relationship. It’s selfish, greedy, and saying: ‘It was just one slice.’ or ‘I only ate the icing’ does not help the fact that someone has their cake and eaten someone else’s. So why do it?

In the defence of men taking the cake, Samantha Jones from Sex and the City once said: “Men cheat for the same reason dogs lick their balls, because they can. It’s part of their biology.” A study by the U.S. Public Health Service, found that men who produced more testosterone are more likely to engage in extra marital sex. A higher testosterone level leads to an increase in libido, and so it’s testosterone that drives men to the nearest pâtisserie when they are hungry for cake. So biology does in fact play a part in taking the cake, though that is no excuse for acting like a dog.

Speaking for women pinching cake, Charlotte York agrees that women cheat but emotionally, rather than hormonally. Anthropologist Helen Fisher notes that women who cheat do so because they felt lonely, not connected, didn’t feel close, or were taken for granted by their partners. According to Fisher, 34% of women who had affairs were happy in their marriages, whereas 56% of men who had affairs were happy in theirs. So though women can take the cake just as well as men, it is perhaps less to do with physical factors than it is psychological.

But no matter what the motivation behind taking the cake, it is still a betrayal of trust. Some people can be happy in open relationships, where both partners can have all the cake they want, and if that works for some people then good for them. But without properly establishing the rules of a relationship, seeing other cake on the side can be open to interpretation.

Everyone has their own rules and interpretations of what cheating actually counts as. For instance, some people may believe that a small vanilla slice or a teensy chocolate éclair counts as taking the pastry, not cake, therefore they haven’t done anything wrong. These subjective rules can be hilariously varied from person to person, and it’s best to find out what people consider infidelity before engaging in a relationship with them.

So though cheating is a piece of cake, blaming hormones and emotions doesn’t help your defense when you have crumbs around your mouth. If you have your cake and eat someone else’s, you may end up with no cake at all.

The post Cheating: Can We have Our Cake and Eat it? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Threesomes are one of those fantasies that are hard to slip into conversations with partners, especially long-term ones. Without prior discussion of a ménage à trios, if a partner says; ‘Hey, look at her/him, don’t they look sexy?’, the reply could be a heated argument followed by a break-up. The problem with adding a third wheel to a perfectly working bicycle is the fear that the novelty will soon wear off, and soon enough someone, or everyone, will be left on a unicycle.

The tricycle relationship isn’t for everyone, and is mostly thought of as a fantasy rather than trying to risk making it a reality. But ménage a trois have been around for centuries, and can be a reality. Lord Nelson, famous for his column, was a point in a love triangle. Carl Jung, a psychiatrist whose theories still hold sway today, had ‘another wife’. And unsurprisingly, the courts of Britain had more triangles going on than Pythagoras’ notebook.

Perhaps the best way to propose a three-wheeled relationship is before a two wheel relationship even begins. If someone you feel emotionally attached to suggests adding another member (pun intended), it can obviously lead to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and plain confusion. But if it is a proposal that everyone can agree to without anyone getting hurt, why the hell not?

There are two types of triangle, both with their own points and sides to them:

FFM (Female, female, male). Perhaps the most popular sexual fantasy with guys. The idea of being able to please two women at once is a tantalising one, if not entirely practical. Turns will have to be agreed upon by the participants, but perhaps a coin can be flipped to decide who gets heads, and who gets tails.

MMF (Male, male, female). Again, a coin can be flipped over who gets heads and who gets tails, though in this scenario, there are a few more options for the open-minded.

The main problem with the ménage a trois, is that the ratio of the sexes will always be 2:1. There is the double standard that women can be sexually adventurous with other women, and still be considered heterosexual in a guy’s mind, in most cases, they’d see it as a huge turn on. But if a guy is sexually adventurous with another guy, even just looking at another guy naked, they are condemned to drinking cocktails and enjoying musical theatre forever.

That’s bollocks, of course. But the fact is if you want to be part of a triangle, everyone has to be sure of their sexual orientation, and what they want out of the relationship, just like in any other relationship. There doesn’t have to be a formal agreement to sign, but some basic rules over do’s and don’ts should be discussed beforehand so no boundaries are crossed and everyone involved gets what they want out of the relationship.

But can a three-wheeled relationship have a future? It’s unlikely that in the near future guests at a wedding will be saying; ‘Don’t they make a lovely trio?’ (unless the wedding took place in Salt Lake City in the 1800’s). Public displays of affection between men and women are still shunned by some people, if there were PDA’s between a man, man and woman (or woman, woman and man), there’d be fainting and dropping of monocles galore.

Society is finally, if begrudgingly, admitting that same sex relationships exist and are deigned to continue without incurring God’s wrath, so it will be a fair while before ménage  à  trois’ will be accepted as legitimate relationships, and not merely fantasies put in our heads by the Devil.

But other peoples’ opinions aside, can three-wheeled relationships make the distance without rolling over like a Reliant Robin? Then again how often do two-wheeled relationships fall over when they lose momentum? Without learning to ride properly, any relationship, no matter how many wheels there may be, can lead to scraped elbows and scuffed knees. It’s all a matter of getting back on the saddle, learning from your mistakes, and not wanting to give up.

Drive safely out there!

The post Do Threesomes Work? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

The latest reports from the Office of National Statistics shows us 42% of Britons file for divorce. Like most life experiences, they can happen unexpectedly and we are not always mentally and emotionally prepared for what is to come. Some of us, like myself, have a relatively easy divorce, your decree absolute is through the door within a year and you’re only arguing over the white goods. However thousands of pounds later after, after numerous court visits battling over children, houses and cars you may find yourself somewhat exhausted and distressed.

No divorce is simple unless you’re Britney Spears and it’s annulled  in seventy-two hours.

Every divorce is different. However it is what you choose to do afterwards that really matters.

After all the anger, hatred and bitterness has been laid to rest, you start the process of emergence into the next cycle of your life. It requires you to adjust your thinking about yourself and others and to shed a layer of your ego-filled defenses and let go of anything that stops you being less than who you are. It’s time to explore. It’s time to meet people. It’s time to go out and finally start having some fun.

Start by brushing up on your social skills: if you have been married for a long time, interacting with new people and dating again may seem daunting at first. Joining social networking and online dating sites can be great first place to start. It gives you the opportunity to make new friends and to get dates. Seeing if you share similar views and interests with someone first gives you great grounds for a first date, you will feel more confident and have plenty to talk about.

Plan a few nights out with your friends and stick to them: It gives you something to look forward to and get excited about. At this stage you need all the help and support you can get so you need to stay active within your social circle.

Go get a haircut! You’re not trying to be someone you’re not here, yes, if your daring go for the chop, but a simple cut and even colour can make you feel more confident, polished and ready to go. You will automatically radiate when you feel good about yourself. Same goes for make-up. If your stuck in a rut with the same old blue eyeshadow or pink lipstick go to a make-up counter and ask for looks to suit you and tutorials on how to apply it. You’ve worked on your inner self, it’s time to work on your appearance. The same goes for your wardrobe. Buy a few key items that you can mix up for drinks after work with the girls and for that all important first day. First impressions really do count.

Remember this: When you finally get your chance and you’re making your way to your first date…  keep conversations light and friendly. Do not discuss your previous partners, painful divorce, religion or politics. These are not subjects your date will be interested in hearing.

Last but not least: Do not sleep with your date on the first night, I’m not sure what is worse this, or falling in love after twenty minutes and trying to make it marriage number two!

The post 5 Quick Tips For Dating After Divorce appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Dating and relationship problems.

We all have them. Now there’s somewhere to share them.

Get answers to all of those questions that you just can’t ask anyone else right here.

Whatever the issue may be, whether you’re embarking on a brand new relationship with someone onsite, terminally single and looking or just plain lost, Toyboy Warehouses’ relationship experts are on hand to give you answers to all your questions. Simply email your question(s) to [email protected] and each week, 4 of them will be solved by one of our Toyboy Warehouse experts. The answers will be published on our blog – but don’t worry, your name won’t appear! There’s no judgement, just free and friendly advice.

This week, your questions were answered by author and expert Toyboy Warehouse member Wendy Salisbury. All names have been changed, so don’t try to guess who this may be!

To see your questions answered in this space next time, simply email them to [email protected]

You asked:

I’ve dated two women from the site and both relationships have ended because our connection was physical and not emotional. I just don’t know how to keep an older woman interested, how can I make sure she won’t get bored? – Robert, 28

Wendy replied:

Hi Robert,

It’s rare for individuals to click on every level.  In fact, it’s a miracle if they do!  A physical connection is wonderful – it means there’s good chemistry there – but the mental connection can be harder to achieve.  It may not be you, though; some women find it hard to engage emotionally especially if they’ve been hurt before.  They may just be trying to protect themselves and not give too much away.

As with all relationships, try to find common ground: books, movies, music, family, travel, art.  Two intelligent people, no matter their age difference, can always find something to talk about.  Making each other laugh is also important but try to avoid telling jokes – if she’s older then you, she may well have heard them before!

If you’ve only had this experience with two women, keep on trying.  Maybe the women you met were not the right ones for you.

Dating is like life: you can’t get on with everybody!

Best of luck!

Wendy

 You asked:

My face is well-known in my industry, I have a top-class reputation that I’ve worked really hard to achieve. But this can make dating really complicated for me. Sometimes I’ve even hidden my name from dates in the past because I don’t want to meet men who want me for my money/status. Do you have any advice to help me spot and avoid the wrong kind of guy? – Vivienne, 46

Wendy replied:

 Hi Vivienne,

As with any situation, avoiding the wrong route is mostly a matter of instinct and intuition.  Do you trust the person you’re talking to?  Do they seem genuinely interested in who you are, even if they know WHO YOU ARE?  It’s flattering to be recognized but not if they’re going to build on their reputation by bragging about yours.

A younger guy will probably be more impressionable so you may want to avoid the 20-somethings (as cute as they may be).  Go for someone in their late 30s or 40s – at least they’ll be more grounded with more life experience.

There will always be a social imbalance when the female is wealthier than the male.  He can, of course, bring other qualities to the party but finances are a delicate matter.  The words Sugar Daddy exist for a reason and if you don’t want to become a Sugar Mummy, you must start as you mean to continue i.e. keep a hold on your purse. You don’t want to become a meal ticket or effectively be paying for sex.  You may as well hire a gigolo!

With regard to your high profile, if your date turned out to be a hot young Hollywood actor or even George Clooney, imagine how you’d react?  It is human nature to be impressed by fame and fortune, but a real gentleman should remain cool and unruffled rather than ask you for your autograph.

The best judge of any situation is always your gut feeling, so have faith and trust in that. There are good men out there who will respect you no matter who you are or what you do.  You just have to sort the wheat from the chaff (or in this case the sweet from the chav).

Best of luck!

Wendy

If you’d like answers to any questions that you have, send them in to [email protected]

The post Ask Wendy Part 2: Your Relationship Problems Solved appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Goodbye Ashton, hello… Kieran Hayler??

Is this the new face of toyboys everywhere? Let’s hope not.

The red-tops and gossip mags are alight with it. It has everything; glamour (model), sex (allegedly), and sympathetic protagonists (um…)

Yup, it’s the latest lurch in Katie Price’s love life; her toyboy had an affair. With a woman almost old enough to be HER mother, let alone his.

In the kind of twist that only the modern age can provide, the former glamour model/business woman/icon of female emancipation and self-determination/encapsulation of all that’s wrong with the modern world broke the news in a typically understated manner.

Via twitter.

And this is how the world learned that Katie’s husband, Kieran Hayler (nine years her junior) had been having a ‘full blown sexual affair’ with a woman, Jane Poutney (22 years his senior).

Pretty sure that confirms Mr Hayler’s a card-carrying toyboy.

According to one of his exes, Kieran has always had a thing for older women.

“Whenever we were out we’d play a ‘who do you fancy’ game and he’d always pick  older women. He’d say Heather Locklear, Demi Moore, Liz Hurley – he really liked Liz Hurley.

“They were all older. He didn’t put Katie on the list.”

Source: The Mirror

Ever since the toyboy and cougar dating poster-children, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore*, parted ways, (and the whole Harry-from-One-Direction-and-some-lass-called-Flack was widely assumed to be a publicity stunt), there’s been a vacuum. A position vacant. Our go-to cultural shorthand for a man who’s a toyboy. Someone who’s proved himself experienced enough for the role.

Is Kieran Hayler the best we can do? Really?? A part-time stripper and builder who cheated on his pregnant wife?

Let’s hope not.

In fact, let’s choose our new face of toyboy and cougar dating everywhere, here and now.

He’s not an obvious choice. He’s old enough to be the peer of many women here on Toyboywarehouse. But, with a 17-year-long marriage to a woman 13 years his senior proves, he’s got the chops. As X Men: Days of Future Past proves, they’re even mutton chops.

Stand up and take your crown, Hugh Jackman. You’re the toyboy we’ve been waiting for.

*By the way, Demi, we have it on good authority Kieran will be single again very, very soon…

The post Are These The New Faces of Toyboy and Cougar Dating? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Sometimes a problem pops up and it’s something you just can’t share with your family and friends. Luckily Toyboy Warehouse are giving you the chance to air your relationship worries – anonymously! – and in return you get some real, intelligent advice from our panel of male and female dating experts. Our experts are notable faces who you will recognize both from their presence on Toyboy Warehouse and their accomplishments in the world beyond. What they all share is tried and tested experience of what it’s like dating in our niche.

Four of you have already submitted your problems for the attention of the first of our female experts, the beautiful and accomplished Wendy Salisbury. All names have been changed, so don’t try to guess who this may be!

To see your questions answered in this space next time, email them to [email protected]

You asked:

I get incredibly nervous before I go on a first-date. I often start stuttering, sometimes I forget to zip my flies and once or twice I’ve even run away before she arrived. How can I have more confidence when meeting an older woman for the first time?    – Tom, 35

Wendy replied:

Hi Tom,

First dates and blind dates can be very daunting because neither of you knows what to expect.  It doesn’t matter how well you’ve got on in cyberspace… one always has more courage shielded by a screen! Physically meeting face-to-face is nerve-wracking for everyone, so you’re not alone there.

Running away is not a good idea because

a) you’ll feel guilty and

b) she’ll think she’s been stood up.  You have to tough it out if you’ve gone to the trouble of making the date in the first place. After all, what’s the worst that can happen?

If you’re not brave enough to keep the date, it’s best to say so beforehand and save her the journey.  You can always rearrange, but you’ll probably only get two shots at it.  If you’re not at the appointed place at the appointed time, your date will give up on you altogether or send you an angry message for having left her standing.  That’s a lose/lose situation whichever way you pitch it!

As for ‘wardrobe malfunctions’, ALWAYS check your flies before leaving home, in the same way that you check that you have your keys and mobile.

Once you have met, the best way to defuse any nerves is to admit to them. Remember, your date may be just as nervous as you. Smile, stand up to greet her if you’re there first and say ‘Hi! I don’t know about you, but I’m really nervous!’

Confidence needs building over time.  It’s perfectly normal to feel insecure in new situations. We’re all insecure about something: our looks, our clothes, our lack of knowledge on certain subjects.  If you get tongue-tied, take a deep breath, drop your shoulders, and pay your date a compliment. Even if it seems banal, say: ‘I like your top/dress/hair/shoes.’  That will break the ice. Then ask her about her day: how was her journey?  Did she come straight from work?

Once the conversation starts to flow, your stutter should abate and your voice should settle down.  The first drink usually helps as well!

Best of Luck!

Wendy x

You asked: 

I’ve been messaging someone on Toyboy Warehouse regularly for about three months. He’s charming, easy on the eye (in his photos at least!) and keen to meet up. The only issue is he says he is looking for something serious and while he lives in Edinburgh, I live in London. Can something long-distance work?   – Sarah, 48

Wendy replied: 

Hi Sarah,

I’m afraid that unless you have a regular rendezvous planned – every other weekend or even once a month for instance – long-distance relationships do struggle to survive.  You’re starting with a geographical challenge, although with today’s myriad methods of communication, you can at least keep in touch in many different ways.

You really need to meet first if you’re going to progress this.  The chemistry that may be present in your current contact may fly out the window the minute you set eyes on each other then the problem will no longer exist.  It’s all very well having an ‘imaginary’ boyfriend/girlfriend, but nothing beats the real thing.

Edinburgh is a long way from London so if your guy wants something serious he should probably be looking closer to home.  This may sound harsh but it is realistic.  If he’s hooked on you and it’s feasible to do, either he or you should be prepared to relocate.

So, in the first instance, MEET – even halfway? – and see if you click.  If not, nothing lost.  If so, you’ve got something to build on.

Best of luck!

Wendy x

If you’d like answers to any questions that you have, send them in to [email protected]

The post Ask Wendy: Your Relationship Problems Solved By Our Experts appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.