We’ve compiled a list of the most exciting romance and erotic novels we’ll be reading in 2016. Forget anything like ’50 Shades of Grey’, this is the ultimate countdown of the best erotic and romance novels you could possibly buy.

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Lost in his Eyes by Ginger Simpson

Despite dabbling in other genres, Simpson has always returned to the historical novel, and we’re grateful for it. Lost in His Eyes takes place in 1894 where everyday life isn’t all roses and smiles. Set in drought stricken Oklahoma, the battling natural forces that beset our love-stricken couple make for an enduring tale.

Where for some novelists the history genre may slow down the pace of their work, Simpson keeps the reader gripped with mystery and intrigue, all combined with a romance story that’s enjoyable and frustrating in equal parts. We follow Harlee Wagner, after an accident at the well she comes to find two things have changed. First, she’s now in the arms of a handsome hero. Second, her entire family is gone.

Purchase your copy here 

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Fully Involved (Uniformed and Smoking Hot 6) by Tonya Ramagos

Ramagos’ previous erotic fiction has given us a plethora of male leads whose gorgeous looks and steamy action make for a hot read. That’s not to say her female characters are airheaded or ditsy, their strong-willed personality allows us be engrossed in their love affairs without any guilt or hesitation.

It’s the ‘Uniformed and Smoking Hot’ series where we find Ramagos’ addition to our list. Fully Involved is the 6th in the series and makes our list of the Most Eagerly Anticipated Erotic and Romance Novels of 2016. The series follows the brave men and women of Cherish Fire Department, and it’s safe to say the fires being fought aren’t the only thing that’s smoking hot. Make sure to check out the others in the series including Tempted, Twisted and Taken, Under the Covers and Explosive Hearts. If you like the ‘Uniformed and Smoking Hot’ mini-series, you’ll be happy to hear the Uniformed and Blazing Hot has 7 more books all continuing the fiery love affairs of Cherish F.D.

Purchase Ramagos’s books here

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Sin Eater (Complete First Season): Dark Urban Fantasy Serial by Jessica West and P.K. Tyler

The ‘Sin Eater’ series has spanned a gruesome and trilling 7 books. The complete series, released in one edition, makes our list for the Most Eagerly Anticipated Erotic and Romance Novels of 2016.

The series follows Nikolai Grekh, the last Sin Eater. In a world consumed by evil demons, Nik must suffer through an endless war against sin. The sexiness varies across the series, with it being most prominent near the beginning. That’s not to its disadvantage however, the explosive characters never leave you feeling dull and bored, it’s very much the opposite!

In the first in the series we’re introduced to Nik’s world, the next 6 episode grip us with heart-wrenching surprises and excruciating cliff-hangers. It’s difficult to take a single episode into consideration, the story and building energy requires this series to be read in its entirety from the beginning. For this reason we’re including the soon-to-be-released series in our ultimate list.

Pre-order the full series here

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Shatter (Hard Hit Book 4) by Charity Parkerson

A striding force in gay male romance Charity Parkerson’s ‘Hard Hit’ series pits two men who against all odds experience passion and love. Shatter is the fourth in the series, followed by Collide, Blow and Thrash. The conflictual titles don’t just make for a dramatic introduction to the novel, they exhibit the colliding forces that each novel’s protagonists must endure. Nothing’s ever easy, whether they’re from different worlds or they’re completely different people, romance always seems just out of grasp – making it all the more satisfying when it’s finally reached.

Shatter is set to follow protagonists Alex and Gannon. The typical bad boy and good guy dichotomy, their love affair is tarnished by obstacles and secrets. As Parkerson asks ‘Will he fight one last time or let life shatter him again?’

Pre-order your copy here

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Kinky Sexy Dirty (Kinky Bastard Duet Book 1) by Christine Reiss

USA Today bestseller Christine Reiss or should we say C.D. Reiss. For readers looking to delve into Reiss’ work, the difference between the former and the latter is a kind indication to how dark the novel will be. If it’s written by C.D. Reiss (for example ‘The Submission Series’) it’s a lot darker than Christine’s work.

It may seem like that’s not an important point, but it is vital we understand. Reiss’ work, especially in the submission series, can be extremely dark. This equates to a gripping sexual thrill, be warned however, take a deep breath before delving in. Kinky Sexy Dirty, the first in the ‘Kinky Bastard’ series is lighter. It’s aim is to be sexy but not severe, the nail-biting is replaced with kink and fun. An interesting turn for Reiss, this is why Kinky Sexy Dirty is added to the list of Most Eagerly Anticipated Erotic and Romance Novels of 2016.

Pre-order your copy here

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Susana and the Scot (Untamed Highlanders) by Sabrina York

New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Sabrina York brings us an enticing new read with Susana and the Scot. Set in the wild Scottish highlands among fearsome rippling warriors, protagonist Andrew Lochlannach is banished to the hinterlands. He’s unphased however, instead his eyes are set on the alluring Susana.

One of the great features of York’s previous work is the female characters. Headstrong and silver tongued they’re easy to root for, and we’re getting our pom poms out! Susana is set to be no exception, described as having ‘flaming red hair and a temper to match’.

Pre-order your copy here

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Illicit Temptation (Club Exotica) by Kate Allure

In true Toyboy Warehouse style, Illicit Temptation is about an older, successful woman. A high court judge and member of the queens council she falls for a younger, sexy barrister.

Allure has received a great attention from her previous books, with a number of publications giving positive reviews. Publishers Weekly described Lawyer Up as a novel with ‘intense chemistry, great characterization, and a kinky page-singeing ending will have readers clamoring for’. Library Journal described Allure’s work as ‘quick, easy reads [that] will appeal to anyone looking for a sexy book that they can put down and pick back up with no trouble. Fun, flirty characters abound, and there’s plenty of kinky action’.

Pre-order your copy here

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Submissive Seductions by Christine D’Abo

With over 30 publications to her name, Submissive Seductions is set to another sexy, kinky romp that develops into a genuine romantic story. The novel follows Liz, after purchasing a Dom from a charity auction she manages to live out her secret fantasy – to be submissive.

For D’Abo however, a thrilling sex-filled romance isn’t enough, similar to her other work Liz’s feelings transcend the sexual and become something more serious. D’Abo has previously been able to mix heart-wrenching emotion with fun, gripping sexual action – a task that is difficult to pull off. ‘30 Days’, one of D’Abo past novels, is a good example of this. As she wonderfully encapsulates the book is ‘saucy, heartwarming, and insightful, [it] explores the agony—and the ecstasy—of starting over, and how a little encouragement, and a little courage, can go a long way’.

Pre-order your copy here

The post The Most Eagerly Anticipated Romance and Erotic Novels of 2016 (Part 1) appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

So when the time if right with your cougar or toyboy and you want to surprise them with an amazing, romantic trip that they’ll remember for years to come, sure, Paris and Venice are great, but they’re a little bit cliché – you want something original, something thoughtful, something… magical.

Well, I’ve made it my mission to arm you with the 15 most magical places in the world, places that’ll blow the socks of your amour. Obviously, romance is subjective, so everyone’s idea of romance is different, and I appreciate that these places are awesome if money were no object, so you might want to get saving, but trust me, you’ll get serious Brownie points for taking your significant other to these places…

So without further ado, I bring you the 15 most romantic places for cougar dating in the world:

1. Tunnel of Love, Kleven, Ukraine

This place is basically a railway tunnel lined with trees. What the hell is so special about a railway tunnel? I hear you ask. Well, this place truly has to be seen to be believed. The tunnel itself is a three kilometre section of private railway that serves a fibreboard factory near the town of Klevan,Eastern Ukraine, and a train runs three times a day to and from the factory delivering wood.

However, in the spring, the trees lining the railway form a beautiful, ethereal archway over the tunnel, transforming the track into a favoured spot for young romantics to stroll with that special someone.

Plus, legend has it that couples visit the Tunnel of Love to make a wish, and that if they are sincere in their love, then the wish will come true.

2. Colmar, France

Now, this town in the North East of France legitimately looks like it could be taken straight out of Beauty and The Beast – all charming little houses and flower-lined canals, this place is truly amazing. There’s even a miniature train that chugs around town and a nightly light show every single day of the year!

Colmar is found along the Alsatian wine route in France and considers itself to be the “capital of Alsatian wine”, so what more could you ask for than your beau, wine, nightly light shows and a miniature train?!

3. Burano, Italy

This quirky little town located on  the same lagoon as Venice is perfect for anyone who likes life bright and bold! Burano is a rainbow, and buildings are like a kaleidoscope of colour. Rumour has it that fishermen decided to paint their houses bright colours so that they were easier to spot in the fog. The whole town followed suit, and the rest is history! If residents want to paint their houses, they need to send a letter to the Government, who will reply with a list of available, approved colours.

Burano is also home to expert lacemakers, making it perfect to snap up something sexy to surprise your loved one with! Burano will definitely put an extra spark in your relationship.

4. Yvoire, France

If Paris isn’t your bag, but you adore the je nais se quois that France has to offer, you should hit up Yvoire – located in south-eastern France, this medieval gem is often described as one of France’s most beautiful cities.

The streets are lined with gorgeous flowers, making a walk down the narrow streets even more romantic and whimsical. Yvoire is also home to the Garden of Five Senses, a labyrinth of fragrant fruits, flowers and other plants, which is guaranteed to get you in the mood for some loving…

5. Giethoorn, Netherlands

Many people nowadays feel like Venice has become a little too ‘mainstream’, and so overrun with tourists that it has lost its magic. Many others disagree. But if you want somewhere that offers the magic of Venice, but is less touristy, you may want to try Giethoorn, “the Venice of the North”.

Giethoorn has canals instead of roads, making the land surrounding the buildings seem like little islands. It’s so peaceful and idyllic, it’s sure to melt away all the stresses of modern life and leave you both relaxed and happy.

6.Edinburgh, Scotland

Now this is a personal favourite of mine – I’m obsessed with Scotland. I think there’s something so mystical and magical about it, and to me, there’s nowhere more romantic. Plus, I’m a sucker for a Scottish accent.

Edinburgh is so olde worlde and has loads of history and culture – there’s so much to see and do, meaning you and your loved one should never run out of ways to pass the time. Plus, you could even go on a ghost walk in Edinburgh Castle, the perfect excuse to snuggle up close!

7. Santorini, Greece

Santorini legit looks like somewhere of a Muller Greek yoghurt advert – you know the ones I mean. Some gorgeous woman surrounded by beautiful bright blue skies and beautiful bright white Greek architecture, proclaiming how she simply cannot believe that she’s found a Greek yoghurt that is only 90 calories! Well Santorini looks like it could be a backdrop for a yoghurt advert, but that’s not a bad thing.

It’s stunning. It’s hot. It’s rich with culture. You can rent a donkey or a scooter to get around. There are absolutely breathtaking views of the vineyards. This place looks like it could be your own Greek playground. It’s perfect for a romantic break away with the other half.

8. The Swing At The ‘End Of The World’, Baños, Ecuador

Right, so practically, this place is pretty inaccessible, but it’s so worth it. It’s also not for the faint hearted…

Tucked away next to Ecuador’s Tungurahua volcano is a swing 2,600 miles above sea level, offering a view that’s both beautiful and terrifying in equal measures. Obviously it’s not a swing at the end of the world per se, but I imagine that’s what it would feel like – it’s basically a more adult version of a playground swing.

Now, if you’re scared of heights, then this maybe isn’t the best place for you. But imagine the adrenaline rush that you and your other half would experience knowing that you’ve both literally been taken to heights that you’ve never before reached, and knowing that you’ve shared that experience with someone you love? And what’s more romantic than that?

9. Wisteria Flower Tunnel, Japan

Similar to Ukraine’s Tunnel of Love in that it’s basically a nature-made tunnel, these tunnels in Ashikaga Flower Park and Kawachi Fuji Gardens are lined with Wisteria plants. Now, if you’re a hay fever sufferer, this probably isn’t the best place for you. But the views are simply gorgeous – shades of mauve, pink, and purple surround you as you take a leisurely stroll through the tunnel. Think of how romantic this would be.

Wisteria only blooms once a year from roughly April to May, so you’d need to book your trip to Japan around this if you wanted to visit the Wisteria tunnels, but you will not be disappointed. Plus, who needs to buy flowers for your other half if you take them here??

10. Giant’s Causeway, Northern Ireland

The Giant’s Causeway in County Antrim, Northern Ireland, is a popular tourist destination. According to Irish folklore, the columns are the remains of a causeway that was built by a giant, hence the name, although realists state that it is the result of a volcanic eruption.

The place looks unreal – hexagonal columns line the northeast coast of Northern Ireland and they look almost perfect, almost like puzzle pieces in their formation. Northern Ireland is a pretty magical place anyway, but the Giant’s Causeway is something else.

It’s such a romantic place – picture it now; waves crashing, your beau by your side, taking in the breathtaking views of the County Antrim coast… Gorgeous.

11. Lauterbrunnen Valley, Switzerland

Lauterbrunnen Valley is a picturesque little village nestled in Switzerland. It looks like something out of a storybook and this place is guaranteed to make you feel relaxed and at peace with the world. Lauterbrunnen Valley is all lush greenery, and snow capped mountains, and boasts over 70 waterfalls that cascade high from the rock face that surrounds the valley.

One visit to this place and you’ll both feel like you’ve stepped out into a fairytale, with your real life Prince Charming/ Princess.

12. Tulip Fields, Netherlands

The Dutch first discovered the tulip in 1593 and they’ve had a love affair with it ever since. These tulip fields are found in the fields of historic Holland and seemingly never end – just rows upon rows of bright, vivid colour.

There are several routes and tours for both cycling and walking so that you can take in the scenery at your own pace, and the routes wind through thousands of tulips and daffodils, Dutch windmills and quaint little villages that’ll both delight and enchant you. These fields are definitely worth a visit.

13. Sea of Stars, Vaadhoo Island, Maldives

There’s a beach in the Maldives that has glowing, bright blue waves, and it makes the sea look like a mirror, featuring the reflection of thousands of glittery stars. Now, this phenomenon is the result of a natural chemical reaction known as bioluminescence, which occurs when a microorganism in the water is disturbed by oxygen.

All very scientific, but the end result is absolutely astounding – it looks like nothing you’ve ever seen before and is absolutely perfect to share with the one you love. But Vaadhoo Island isn’t the only place that you can witness this spectacle – you can also visit the islands of Mudhdhoo and Rangali in the Maldives for this as well.

14. Glowworm Caves, Waitomo, New Zealand

The glow worm, Arachnocampa luminosa, is unique to New Zealand, and deep within a cave in Waitomo, these little critters radiate bright, luminescent light, offering a magical insight into deepest, darkest New Zealand.

The glow worm caves are hugely popular and the cave offers boat rides through this glow worm grotto along the Waitomo River, giving you the chance to witness this amazing scene up close. Thousands of glittering glow worms will sparkle in the darkness, and it’s sure to leave you and your loved one, ahem, glowing.

15. Cenotes of Yucatán Peninsula, Mexico

Now, it’s no secret that Mexico has some absolutely gorgeous beaches, but the Cenotes of Yucatán Peninsula is where it really gets serious – here is where you can escape to a turquoise underworld where Mayans apparently communicated with the gods.

Cenotes of Yucatán Peninsula features magical caves and swimming holes with water so clear, you can see the fish frolicking in the plants below the water. Surrounded by tropical trees and vines, you will really feel like you are in your own secret jungle. Plus, the water is so fresh and contains vitamin and mineral enriched algae that will both nourish and protect your skin. This place is truly one of a kind and you’ll feel like a rock star with your own private island.

The post 15 Most Romantic Places For Cougar Dating appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

It’s safe to say that the dating game can be hard work. Whether you’re a ‘cougar’ looking for a younger man, or a ‘toyboy’ searching for the right older woman, finding “the one” can be quite a tiring task. Soon little stresses can leave us feeling quite drained making it hard to remember that it should be an enjoyable process. So, what can we do to boost our mood and achieve a blissful frame of mind ready for a hot date, or, for when we simply need a pick-me-up? Here are 5 happiness hacks that are guaranteed to lift your mood.

1. Meditation

For thousands of years specialists in meditation from all different cultures around the world have claimed that their practice brings many benefits, not only mentally but physically. Meditation is a great way for both old and young to indulge in some quiet, reflective time. You do not need to follow any particular religious traditions to  enjoy the benefits such as improved focus, clarity, attention span and calmness that practicing meditation can bring. So get yourself into lotus position, close your eyes and gently listen to the rhythm of your breathing. You will soon be feeling relaxed and peaceful in no time!

2. Music

Music is always a great quick fix for a bad mood! Who can resist putting on some music that makes them feel good and dancing their worries and sadness away? Research shows that listening to a fast upbeat song will get your heart beating, faster mimicking the way it beats when you are feeling happy. Next time you are feeling low find your favorite song, turn up the volume, and enjoy!

3. Keep a blog or journal.

There are many different ways that keeping a diary or a journal can help towards elevating your mood. First of all writing down how you are feeling when your mood is really low or you are feeling angry will get out all the pent up emotion that you may be holding in; breaking down the negative feelings and problems giving you chance to gain a better perspective and make sense of your thoughts, resulting in a much calmer and positive you.

Another way journaling can be helpful is by writing down all the times that you feel happy or the things that you are grateful for each day. This is great for looking back at when you are having a bad day so that you can remind yourself that there are good days too! Next time you are out shopping, find yourself a notebook that you like and just try writing down three things that make you happy or that you are grateful for each day. You will soon notice a positive change to your attitude and well being.

Consider keeping this online in the form of a blog – anonymously if you prefer – some people have even made careers out of their dating blogs and you will receive feedback from others in the same position.

4. Spend time with people that make you happy.

Young or old, humans have always sought the company of others. We are not really solitary creatures (not all the time) and we love nothing more than spending time with those we love or having a good chat with an old friend. As our days get busier and we find we have less time on our hands, it is hard to fit time with friends and family into our schedules.

Freeing up even just half an hour to meet up with a good friend or a family member that you don’t get to see often will make you (and the other person) feel much better. It will be a great way to have a catch up, a chance to talk through your problems with some one who knows and cares about you, and, if you are anything like me and my friends, you will have lots of laughs. Who wouldn’t feel happier after that?

5. A nice hot bubble bath.

It may seem like an obvious one but you can’t argue with its effectiveness. Run yourself a  hot bath with plenty of your favorite bubbles and perhaps even some candles and prepare to soak away your worries. Everyone needs a bit of me time now and then to relax and be alone with their thoughts. Take this time to pamper yourself with a face mask and some scented body lotion. The better you feel on the outside, the better you will feel on the inside. It is also great preparation before a date night, helping you relax and calm any nerves you may have about the night ahead.

After trying one – if not all – of these little tips I am sure you will find yourself in a more positive, relaxed mood ready to face what ever the day may bring!

The post 5 Happiness Hacks For When Dating Gets You Down appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

Valentine’s day, most have recognized but only the brave have admitted, is the worst day of the year, even for non-singles.  You have to uncomfortably analyze your relationship, pick the right gift to express your feelings, and hope that you don’t blow it or send the wrong message.  To help you through the mires and mazes of getting that perfect gift, I’ve compiled a list of the best and worst.  Now you no longer have to pick at your peril!

Best:

1. The Classic:  Chocolates and flowers.   I personally find it immensely sexy to be given the reproductive structures of angiosperms.   Narrow-minded people will tell you that flowers are cliché and predictable, but classics become classics for good reason.  Many of us have had to buy ourselves chocolates and flowers every year because our lovers were too afraid of filling the cliché, so we had to do it ourselves; trust me, that’s far worse.  Be original, though; pick your valentine’s favorite flower, or a posy with interesting colors.

2. The Creative:  Fake flowers.  (Please note: this and “The Classic” are not mutually exclusive.)  Turn your love-notes into a bouquet!  They will last longer than real flowers, and your lover can literally, instead of figuratively, read your adoration.

3. The Practical:  Boxes and boxes and boxes of condoms.   They demonstrate your capacity for forethought and prudence and are a not-so-subtle way of saying, “I want to rip your clothes off three times a day from now until August.”  What could be sexier than that?

4. The Sweet:  Plan to go out for the entire day; museums, parks, that café that you’ve been meaning to try.  Stepping away from the world and spending time with your valentine shows that you value his / her company, which is really the best gift ever.  Actions, my friends, speak stronger than words.  Plus (because we’re all a little bit selfish), it’s a gift that you can enjoy, too!

5. The Sexy:  It’s like “The Sweet” but it takes place at night and is slightly less………….wholesome.  Candles, rose-petals, and lingerie instead of museums, parks, and a café.   According to science (I’m told), experiences make you happier for longer than new objects do, so give your lover something he / she will remember!

Worst:

1. The Insulting:  A nice, new, shiny vacuum cleaner.  We don’t care how fancy it is, how well it gets all those stale crisps crumbs from between the sofa cushions, or how good your intentions are.   You are basically saying, “You should vacuum more.”  This, in case you aren’t aware, is the wrong message.

2. The Awkward:  “This was my mother’s engagement ring.  I want you to have it.”  “Duuuuuude, we just met last week!”

3. The Platonic:  Printer paper.  Groceries.  The little felt pads that go on the bottom of chair legs.  Basically, anything practical (that’s not condoms—see, “The Practical”), doesn’t count as a gift.

4. The Boring:  A store-bought card.  Cards are soulless.  You might as well say, “I have so little imagination, I had to pay someone who has never met either of us to express my feelings for you.”  Unless you are genuinely illiterate, write your own.

The post The Best and Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

At times, that which we desire can differ from that which we are truly looking for. We may envision the perfect partner to be tall, muscular and handsome, yet the reality of the situation is often an entirely different matter. Truth be told, we can be blinded by characteristics we believe a potential partner shouts have, neglecting the base elements which we require for the relationship to function. On top of all the above, conflicting belief structures as well as other little things can further complicate matters.

“After the novelty wears off, we romanticize our partner less…”

During the first 3 – 6 months, both parties are more likely to perceive these differences through rose tinted glasses. After the novelty gradually wears off, we romanticize our new partner less. Yet, we are also more comfortable in showing our true selves to them. This time period, however, also marks the general decrease of regular sexual activity. In certain relationships, this decrease is initiated by women, in others, it is the men that act upon their sexual desires less frequently. In any case, this adjustment period can represent the breaking point for a small percentage of relationships, especially in cases in which the relationship was primarily based upon a wide variety of physical requirements, unless secondary foundations, such as mutual interests, can be forged.

“…each individual is unique and possesses their own reasons for pursuing a relationship…”

A large amount of my clients are determined to work out their differences, yet this requires an exponential amount of respect, patience, forgiveness and courtesy. Numerous couples struggle due to opposing viewpoints, such as religious ideology. For example, the notion of reincarnation can appear foolish to a Roman Catholic, however, the concept of heaven or an eternal soul can seem just as ignorant to a Buddhist. Such fundamental differences can only be overcome through deeply rooted kindness and acceptance from both sides.  Yet, how do we end up in such impossible situations? How are we so innately attracted to our complete opposites? Why do we get involved in relationships that we unconsciously know would never work? In my professional opinion, it is the desire for an internal catharsis that drives us. A merging of opposites. However, it should be noted that each individual is unique and therefore possesses their own reasons for pursuing a relationship.

“We are technically in an ever-lasting state of transition without conscious awareness…”

In a universe, in which all essentially is energy in one form or another, the overall amount of energy has been proven to be constant. Energy is therefore constantly converted and transformed without affecting the total sum of energy. Every subatomic particle and cell is  continuously active from regeneration until the point of inevitable entropy. Furthermore, the law of duality states that everything must in time become its opposite. Whether it is days or billions of years. We are technically in an ever-lasting state of transition without conscious awareness. For example, anger, sadness, hate and other negative emotions associated with the pain of loss has been confirmed to play a vital part in our own transition of consciousness. The desire to live life to the fullest can leave the individual vulnerable to impulsive decision-making, whereas being overly cautions can result in overwhelming realisations of missed opportunities later on in life.

How do some relationships succeed over others? 

Yet, let’s examine relationships that persist against all odds, how do they succeed, where others do not? Support, patience, empathy, understanding, absence of judgement and cooperation on a mutual basis are only fragments of a much larger picture. Instead of becoming consciously and unconsciously interdependent upon one another, each individual maintains their independence within reason, encouraging the other to do the same. The objective is for the partner to fulfil their full potential. If that means going back to school at the age of 30 or taking a chance by turning a dream into a reality, then so be it. Relationships in which both partners provide full, open-minded support for one another no matter the circumstance are most likely to endure any kind of hardship or adversity. No one person is to blame, both share equal responsibility for their actions within the partnership.

By Anita

The post Wants and Needs: What really makes a relationship work? appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

My friend and erstwhile lover Sam, the ‘Self-effacing Antipodean Man’ from New Zealand, has been incommunicado for over a year now. He was seeing a girl closer to where he is working in Europe, so I did the noble thing. I left him alone whilst I pursued other interests. Sam is suddenly back in contact, tentatively finding out how I am and what is occurring in my life, which is nothing in particular. He will be coming to the UK soon and he inveigles an invitation from me. Sam keeps his tender feelings deeply under the surface but I know him well enough now to tell when something is amiss. Ever a quiet man, he is virtually monosyllabic today, as if stringing words together for a conversation is just too much effort for him to manage. I know he is suffering deeply: I can feel it.

Sam turns up on time, looking exhausted, drawn and terribly relieved to see me. He says nothing for some time, during the drive home, just sits and looks out of the window, then proceeds to ask me how I am. We discuss my work, my health, my home; I make him laugh and gradually he cheers up. When we finally reach home and sit down, I ply him with a nutritious meal and some healthy drinks and watch him eat. It fascinates me how he seems to be taking in very little because his manners are so pleasant, yet he is efficiently consuming vast quantities of calories.

The reason for his complete exhaustion and hunger soon becomes apparent: Sam has just completed a marathon run. I know instinctively that this is his response to emotional pain- he uses the severe physical discomfort as an anaesthetic, the way some rely on alcohol. Despite him not telling me anything, clearly the relationship has broken down. I don’t wish to pry; I hold him and we kiss a little, but he has little enthusiasm for love-making. Having run 26 miles today, he is close to falling asleep where he sits. I offer him a bed.

“Do you want to go in one of the guest rooms for a better sleep?” I query. Sam looks devastated, stricken, as if I had suggested throwing him out into the rain. I take his hand, telling him he is welcome to sleep in my bed, the choice is his.

“I’d rathuh be cumfy,” is his reply. Suddenly he looks so very young and vulnerable. I realise he does not want to be alone. Still holding hands, I lead him up to my room and half an hour later, all ablutions complete, he is curled against me fast asleep, his cheek pillowed on my breast, as if I were a gigantic soft toy comforting a small child. I hold him, stroke the sandy hair and feel the muscles in his abdomen and chest move in time with his deep regular breathing. I guess that he was not the one to end this relationship and that it really mattered to him. I am almost 20 years older than he is and more experienced at dealing with disappointment, it seems. Poor Sam, his heart has been deeply torn. He has fled across half a continent and run a marathon with that aching wound, then sought me out for refuge and a degree of healing, rather than “make a fiss” by telling anyone how hurt he is.

He will be all right now he has reached me: I will care for him until he feels sufficiently restored and strong enough to face the world, then I know he will leave again. How many young men will travel across several countries, to seek comfort literally sleeping in the arms of a woman they hardly ever see? Most young men want the sexual healing but not the rest; this one needs the latter, although I’m certain he would not eschew the former, should the opportunity arise.

As he sleeps, I cogitate over the theory of past lives and although I don’t really believe it, I wonder whether perhaps Sam and I were passionate lovers in previous incarnations. Perhaps we have experienced a joint life together in some other existence?  That could explain why we feel so safe and secure with each other, as we have done from the very beginning. On this occasion, the timing and geography are such that he is very much younger and born on the other side of the world.  If I were to mention the possibility to Sam, he would normally laugh and tell me he’s not superstitious. Presently, it might hurt him even more and so I keep these thoughts to myself.

As things stand, I love Sam far more than he loves me. There is no way around that anguish, but I accept my lot. I can’t force him to want to stay with me. Perhaps one day he will, possibly that will never occur. Perhaps I will have to wait until next time around, during lives to come, when all will be as it should, with our stars in alignment.

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The idea arises from the classic romance by Jane Austen, You may have read the novel or watched a film version, (or possibly have been forced to watch the film version under sufferance when dating). Its main character is the eternally matchmaking busybody ‘heroine’, Emma, who has a very elderly, querulous father who needs caring for. Of course, this fictional family are wealthy and have servants to do all the chores, allowing Emma complete freedom to interfere in other people’s lives. She doesn’t face constant boring domestic drudgery, she ends up with the man of her dreams and simultaneously manages to organise her life around the needs of her father.

However, her essential dilemma in is still one faced by women in their 40s and above on online dating websites like Toyboy Warehouse. Some have found at this age that serious ill health often strikes the generation above, sometimes completely unexpectedly. When this happens, it’s frequently a daughter who will take on the caring role for parents, aunts or uncles.

Over the last year, I’ve seen this happen with at least five female colleagues and friends. The circumstances are all different but once a caring element has been established, it’s far from a stable situation. In fact, the role seems to take up an increasing amount of time and energy. In every situation I’ve known, the elderly person involved seems to have suffered relapses or an additional catastrophic blow to their health. It’s as if the older people are suddenly confronted by their own mortality and their bodies respond by becoming very frail. Someone I know (not myself) took on all the practical responsibility of caring for an elderly mother, even living with her, because as opposed to her siblings, this lady was single and childless. Perhaps it was the right thing to do, perhaps not, but it took over her entire life and she was left very lonely for a number of years. Just because someone has caring responsibilities should not mean they are completely deprived of any physical comfort or romantic pleasure.

So, your love interest is in this age group? It’s too easy to build fantasies of a beautiful, sophisticated older woman with no commitments (other than seeing you)! It’s best not to assume that because she has no young dependants, she has totally flexible spare time. Ask some questions first, find out about her life and be sure you are clear about her expectations.

Looking for a mature woman with elderly relatives to look after may well be looking for long term companionship as an ideal. However, with complex caring commitments which may be slowly taking more of her time, she may only be able to accommodate something in the moment. Casual fun, a short-term affectionate affair or an arrangement with open-ended commitment may be the only practical options. If you get on well and want to take things beyond ‘date four’, negotiate what your relationship will be like and make sure you’re looking for the same things. Be honest with yourself about whether you have sufficient reserves of compassion and understanding to get involved in the first place. Be prepared for dating arrangements to have to change at very short notice.

If a loved parent dies, especially one where a caring role existed, most women will be utterly devastated and distraught, so be kind and supportive to her. When lives are entwined in this way, an enormous void is left, the day-to-day arrangements and habits of life collapse and must be reshaped, there may be a difficult period in terms of a reworking of life.

At any age, the intense grief of bereavement sometimes unleashes an unbearable loneliness. It’s not that well known but sometimes the depth of this grief means people need physical comfort in a way that they don’t under normal circumstances. They can behave in a way which is totally out of character. It’s a normal human reaction, so if she really needs your body, do the compassionate thing: give generously and be kind. She will really appreciate the comfort of skin on skin and you get to feel heroic doing what comes naturally!

Someone who is strong enough to take on caring voluntarily is likely to be a very brave soul with an incredibly generous heart. We could all do with a few more people like that in our lives!

The post The ‘Emma’ Dilemma – Dating a Carer appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

(Eros, illicit love and erotic literature.)

 Part One: Erotic or not?

As an author I’m often asked what genre of fiction I write, at which point my mind goes completely blank. It’s my own genre but like my erotic novel The Red Dragon Bed there is always a strong element of erotica in every book I write. If we take a look at the Archetype, Eros was the primordial Greek God of Love, a sexually powerful male figure, a profound artist whose task seems to have been to go around creating trouble by making people fall in love, often illicitly.

“He [Eros] smites maids’ breasts with unknown heat, and bids the very gods leave heaven and dwell on earth in borrowed forms.”

“Eros drove Dionysos mad for the girl [Aura] with the delicious wound of his arrow, then curving his wings flew lightly to Olympus. And the god roamed over the hills scourged with a greater fire.” (Nonnus Dionysia  – a Greek epic of the 5th century AD)

He still seems very busy creating havoc especially (we hope) on TBW, where there is a certain sense of eroticism in the age gap romance. So for me eroticism has something of the “Nectar of the Gods” in it, which is why 50 Shades doesn’t do it for me, although it might for you.  Erotic writing is not the same as fantasy, nor is it something that caters to niche sexual tastes. To write it properly I think it has to have a rather other-worldly feeling  about it.

The Chinese were busy writing The Pillow Book thousands of years ago which was the marriage guide book of the bedroom, the Japanese had their Shunga:  look it up it will leave you amazed in one sense of another.  Then of course there is the Karma Sutra… more recently DH Lawrence Lady Chatterley’s Lover, The Story of O , some of Simon de Beauvoir’s stuff, the list goes on…

So if we think of eroticism as sexuality, powerfully and compelling, containing a morsel of the illicit, often socially taboo and of course totally irrational I had a starting point for my “Dragon Lord”, the main figure of my erotic novel who seduces the women who sleep in the golden bed he created at the beginning of time from drops of his own blood. I went to town on the fairy-tale aspect of eroticism, the strong link between Eros and Thanatos, the equal and opposite Gods of love and death and then just let my imagination do the rest.  Let me know what you think, take a dip in the book and let me know… is it erotic or not?

Prologue

The Dragon Lord

China

       Deep beneath the grey green waters of the lake he sleeps and dreams the dreams of a thousand days or a thousand years, he has no perception of the tricks and trials of time.

His long cold fingers twitch and stir remembering the places where they have travelled to touch, to stroke to coax, to burn their ecstasy into the body of a woman like an ecstatic branding.  His tongue flicks the limits of his lips and he longs to suckle at the cradle of desire, the firm hard point of a nipple suck the sweetness of the hot moist flesh within. Feel its throbbing awakening buck beneath him.  Yes he needs to see the look in the eyes of the beloved as she waits in anticipation for the love that he can bring her. He is a lover that no mortal man can ever hope to compete with. 

All that he will ask in return is the gift of everything, body heart and soul and the coil of mortal life cast off like a moulted skin. He yearns to bring their essence to rest deep down in his watery cave with him and keep the loneliness of eternity at bay.

       For the time has come again to venture into the world of the above beings; and  someone is lying in the bed he fashioned from a drop of his golden blood and that person is to become once more  his precious forever love. 

 Victoria Mosley is a poet, spoken word artist and author of The Red Dragon Bed.

The post How To Write Erotic Fiction appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

So you want to know all about Internet dating eh? Well you’ve come to the right place. I’m Mark Restuccia – a world class expert in the field. I used to be the most prolific internet dater in my weight class, so I think it’s about time I offered you my top ten tips on the subject. Shall we?

1. Try not to post a picture of yourself taken in the bathroom mirror. It just looks like you’ve got no friends. And for gods’ sake, if there’s a toilet in the background – do make sure that you’ve flushed the chain.
2. Try to avoid clichés in your profile. For example, try something like this: ‘I’m here looking for a partner in crime because I’m looking to do over a few petrol stations in the West London area. I’m a glass half full kinda guy, mainly because I’m very clumsy carrying drinks. I sometimes work hard and play hard, depending how much Viagra I take and I’m always kind to animals (in-front of people).’
3. Always check your grammar. You don’t want to end up with a mistake such as the following which I found in the ‘Likes’ section of someone’s profile: ‘Going to the cinema, eating out my nan.’ If ever a comma was needed eh?
4. Best time to email someone is a Sunday. Single people like myself are 30% more depressed than on other days of the week. Try and get in there before the Come Dine With Me omnibus though, cos old Lamby’s cheered us all up a bit by then.
5. Don’t bother emailing or even subscribing at Christmas. You’re more likely to get stung for a Christmas present. Then you have the quandary of whether to buy an expensive present and look like a psycho or buy a little one and look stingy. I’d tend to go for something middle of the road. Something that costs about £40 and also doesn’t make you look too keen – like a Toyboy Warehouse subscription.
6. Always check your potential love interest’s star sign. Not for compatibility but it’s a useful way to check if their birthday’s coming up soon. Again, you don’t want to get stung.
7. Always do the phone test. It’s best to find out what someone sounds like or whether they’re a bit socially awkward or not. However, in some instances they can be great on the phone but awful in real life. In which case I would suggest carrying out the rest of the date on the phone.
8. I would say try to show a bloody interest guys. Ask loads of questions. I have a standard list. Ever had any pets? Maybe expand on that one. What was the name of your first one? Be a bit random .. What was your first car? What was your mother’s maiden name?
9. If you want to get out of a bad date, may I suggest installing Grindr on your smart phone. It’s an application that homosexual gentlemen use to find sexual partners within the immediate vicinity. If it’s going badly, leave your phone out on the table and just wait for that push notification and the look of horror on her face. Crushr if you’re female – although he may end up liking you more.
10. Can’t get a second date? Why not issue a loyalty card to your potential love interest? I usually have an offer such as ‘Go on 5 dates and receive a delicious muffin on the 6^th.

By Mark Restuccia, stand-up comedian and serial online dater. Check out his forthcoming book Your Place or Mine on Unbound.

The post The 10 Funniest Online Dating Tips appeared first on Toyboy Warehouse.

A teacher at my primary school once held up a boring looking copy of The Hobbit, and said ‘Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.’ It was a few more years before I could remain interested in any literature with less pictures than The Beano, but after reading The Hobbit I realised that my boring teacher had said something worth remembering. Had I judged my teacher prematurely?
 
It’s so easy to fall into prejudices by appearance, it’s what helped Homo Sapians distinguish between food and sabre-toothed tigers. But food is now delivered to our doors and giant felines are only a threat when Tiddles sleeps on your face in the night. The instinct of distinguishing ‘Friend or Foe’ has become ‘Like or Ignore’, mostly thanks to Facebook.
 
I’ve read a lot of books, I’ve met a lot of people, and I’ve found books are a lot like people. Some are worth reading again and again, others you should really put down after the first few chapters, but you can only find out by taking the time to read them yourself. With today’s modern lifestyle though, it’s hard to find the time to curl up with a good book, so we need to know if it’s worth our precious time beforehand. Anyone who remembers English class will know the torture of putting up with a story they have no interest in, so why read a book you don’t have to write an essay on?
 
With the sheer number of books being printed, publishers know they have to make their products sell, and there’s a lot of competition out there. It is the same with dating websites. Each user sets up their own profile, which becomes their cover that they are showing to the rest of the world, trying to be read. There are so many user profiles, but not nearly enough time to message and date them all, unless that’s your thing. Books and people are readily available to pick up online, but only one will resent you for putting them down.
 
With people being just as individual and complex as the books that they read, we need to look beyond their cover in order to be a part of their story. When looking for those perfect stories, here are a few things to keep in mind:
 
The Genre – Though it would be perfect to pick up a book or a date and instantly fall in love, that mostly happens in films. If you don’t like drama, then maybe it’s time to try comedy. If you want something more serious, try the classics. There are genres and cross-genres out there to suite all palates, all you need to do is have a taste.
 
The Praises – Book covers without the opinions of critics seem suspect, yet too many seems like we are forced to agree the book is good before even reading the blurb. Also keep in mind the publishers are unlikely to put anything but praise on the cover, and is the book critic of The Sun really likely to sway you? It’s the same with dates. Ask their friends for their opinions and of course they’ll shower their friend with praise, probably. At the end of the day all opinions are subjective, and though it’s interesting to acknowledge another perspective, we shouldn’t let other people’s opinions affect ours. But that’s just my opinion.
 
The Blurb – This is where the book is allowed to, very briefly, speak for itself. Think of it like a pick-up line. Usually a quote along the lines of ‘I want you to read me so I’m being deliberately mysterious.’ followed by a lengthier teaser of a paragraph to intrigue you. They are usually written by the author, they don’t want to give the whole story away, they want you to keep reading.
 
The First Chapter – Now you can finally get to know each other. But just because you’ve bought the book doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep the receipt. Reading an entire story that bores you enough to put it down every few paragraphs never bodes well in my my experience, and if you carry on regardless you’ll end up resenting the book for another you could actually be enjoying. Give it a chance by all means, but if your attention wavers enough to look up the synopsis on the internet, it may be time to move on.
 
So go out there, and read to your heart’s content, but just remember to live your own story!
 
Daniel Lavey

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