So I’m new to the TBW site but an aficionado of Toy Boys, or an addict, which ever way you’d like to look at it. Since getting divorced I’ve only ever been out with younger men, at first I thought it was by accident but now I see that I’d be nuts not to. I love their warmth, their open hearts, their vigour their beauty and the way they seem to love me, but last year’s live-in lover was perhaps more Gigolo than Toy Boy. I met him in a bar, not a good idea, the only people you meet in bars are those that like to hang out and drink there, my girlfriend picked him up, well she picks anyone up and he certainly looked as if he’d be anybody’s without much trouble. He’s Italian, 26 and charismatic in a shy sort of way, I soon found out that any time he went out alone he came back with at least six girl’s phone numbers,
“It’s not my fault if they give me their numbers …….I never call them ……you are my life…….these English girls you don’t know what they’re like……” Became a regular refrain.
I never meant to see him again, but he seemed lonely, and of course his English needed improvement, so we went out to lunch, and one thing led to another and he is Italian and suddenly there he is in my bed without his Calvin Klein boxers. That was the beginning of it. We spent the next two months in bed, never getting up until 3pm, just in time for my 13 year old to come home from school, they got on incredibly well. Well they were so close in age! I loved walking around with my two beautiful boys When not in bed we cooked, incredible pasta’s and four course meals washed down with wine. If he needed a recipe he just rang his mother and when he went home to Italy for a visit he returned laden with Granny’s home made pasta and 5 gallon cans of olive oil. Everyone was happy, my son said Leonardo made me so calm…..not surprising, after four orgasms a day I could hardly speak, I just walked around blowing metaphorical bubbles with a beatific smile on my face.
I knew it couldn’t last and somewhere inside me I didn’t really want it to. Where had the independent, fiery, artist and writer gone to? The woman who travelled the world alone and had shared stages with Pete Doherty, performed with jazz and rock bands? I only managed one gig last year and I didn’t really care stuck in my hormone haze heaven, what happened to my career. Leonardo was living with me, off me, by, with or from me…….and then suddenly the inevitable happened. He threw tantrums, he stayed out till 5am, I threw him out, but then took him back because he begged me too. My friends were in despair, I was gaunt and tearful and really no fun to be around, turning into a jealous suspicious bitch from hell. He needed to be free and I needed to be free of him. So we ended it.
Of course it wasn’t that easy, it never is, but time has gone by and I’m surer of what I need now in my life, definitely a toy boy but a different one. The site is fantastic and the last week has produced 3 dates, all fun to be with, one slightly too attentive for a first date, but I know the danger signals now and have removed myself from his vicinity. Sometimes they ask what I’m looking for and I really don’t know, but as soon as I find him I’ll know. So watch this space for clues.
By Sirensong
