30 Dating Dilemmas in 30 Days – Bianca Asiya Saeed
Your favourite older women dating site, Toyboy Warehouse has 30 days to gather the most influential dating and relationship experts to help answer 30 dating dilemmas from real members. It’s a race against time to solve the world’s love issues, will we make it?
Tell us about yourself
I am a holistic health & wellness coach, passionate about uncovering the negative patterns in relationships & empowering individuals to permanently fix them. I am also a wife & mother. I love basketball & being outside.
If someone came to you for dating/relationship advice, what should they expect?
I specialize in focusing on bad habits & social expectations that don’t serve my clients. If there are behaviors my clients are subconsciously demonstrating, I point those behaviors out to them & help them move forward in behaving in a more desirable way. I also help my clients discover the negative behavior patterns of the other person in any of their relationships, so that they can properly address them.
What are some of the projects you’re currently working on?
I am currently writing a book that teaches others how to successfully navigate & maintain a healthy multicultural marriage. I am also launching a group program for stay-at-home moms that will teach them how to live a happy, passion-filled, intentional life at home with her kids.
“I’ve been seeing two women for a couple of weeks now, they don’t know about each other and eventually I’ll have to break it off with one of them. The problem is I’m not sure which. How should I go about deciding?”
When you are deciding between which woman you should choose to pursue long term, you should think about three things. 1. Does she share your core values? 2. Does she have similar life goals to you? 3. Are your personalities compatible?
I know this isn’t terribly romantic, but after a couple of years, the romance will have turned into something either substantial or something superficial. Literally asking her these questions and writing down the answers will help you to make a successful long-term choice.
P.S. For personality compatibility, take the MBTI online free version & then look up your compatibility based on type. Good luck.
“So what should I do? I proposed to my girlfriend a few months ago and she said yes. Before I proposed, our relationship was perfect but since then she’s become distant.”
It sounds to me like she may be taking this decision seriously. She could be adjusting her mindset to accommodate the fact that she will soon be a married woman & wife or she could be getting cold feet & perhaps isn’t ready to commit. The only way to find out is to have a discussion with her. Ask her why she has been distant and just listen. Make it known that you have noticed a change in her behavior but try not to talk too much. Her response to this question should shed some light on her recent behavior.
“My boyfriend is 14 years younger than me, we’ve been together for a while and we’re both really happy. But I’m not sure if the age-gap we have means there can be a future. What do you think?”
This question brings up more questions! I hope these questions make you think about things & begin to think about opening up a conversation with your partner about it. How long have you two been together? If you’ve been together for some time, then what is making you consider your age now? Have you two committed to each other in some way (i.e. live together, exchanged promise rings, own property together, etc.)? If you have committed to each other with more than just words, it’s more likely that both people in the relationship have invested for the future. I hope that helps!